Oh, let's split up, it'll be fine, Lethe said. It would be great, we'd find that stupid stone quickly, she said.
Has our dear fairy jerk ever read a horror story? Splitting up always leads to getting murdered. And the Goron always dies first.
Every time. Lev thought bitterly, hurrying down the shaft as quickly as he could, which given the circumstances, wasn't nearly as quickly as he'd hoped. Wallmasters, just the thing he didn't want to see; they'd snatched arguably the nicest human Lev had ever met simply by virtue by treating him as a person and not just a haunted pile of evil rags, and now they were going after the few people Lev had left in this cursed dungeon.
Being undead didn't mean he wanted to be alone in this place. The other undead
sucked. Case in point, the Redeads. Putrid and rotting bodies that only screamed and tried to eat people's faces, hardly an ounce of sophistication or depth to them. And Wallmasters... floating hands that abducted people were pretty much the worst and most useless creation in Hyrule after Mosquitoes. And here they were, threatening people Lev was supposed to help save the world with.
The Poe tried to recall in his stories if he'd ever heard of the hero going into the Underworld right off the hop, and he came up short. This was going to set a terrible starting tone for his story, he decided. The audience wouldn't have time to get invested with any of their characters before they met their untimely demise in an even more inhospitable locale than even the bowels of Mount Doom. At least the Gorons were capable of having a pleasant conversation, unlike the shrieking pricks that roamed in this place.
The torchlight from the chamber below became visible, and so did the ReDead that emerged from the iron maiden. The thing, thankfully, was incapable of looking up or jumping, so he'd be reasonably safe from its clutches. If he ReKilled it, then his companions wouldn't be petrified by its' vocals, which were only slightly better than that insufferable bard in Kakariko Village named Cindy Dijon, whose voice could make paint and milk alike curdle. Floating above the ReDead, Lev extended out his lantern, cackling maliciously as he doused the monstrosity with cleansing flame.
"Get outta my story, you over-dried piece of jerky!" he taunted, immediately feeling that his insult game needed improvement.
Goddesses, Lev really needed interaction with more living people.
Nyxella,
TokyoPewPew,
Tlaloc
