Zephyr stayed seated as the others filed out. Although he wasn’t really religious in the traditional sense he was still pretty spiritual, perhaps even more so since he Awakened. Once the others were gone and Dr. Cassar was the only one left, he sat on the floor and took up his preferred meditating position. Back against the wall, legs slightly bent, and his hands were above his stomach. They weren’t quite touching but they were close, as though he held a small ball between them, bigger than a baseball but smaller than a football. He didn’t vocalize, he simply breathed deeply and allowed his senses to extend. He heard Dr. Cassar praying in a language he didn’t quite recognize, and he wasn’t worldly enough to be able to really guess what language it might be.
Whatever it was, it wasn’t latin. It was guttural and flowed like honey as he spoke, possessed of a rhythm foreign entirely to the English tongue, nonetheless identifiably the Lord’s Prayer.
After a moment, Cassar deviated from the rhythmic utterances of the standard Catholic prayers, and made what seemed like a private, individual prayer alongside it.
“Amen.” He crossed himself, and stood from his kneeling position, facing the ‘altar’.
And then sat down, leafing through his bible, waiting.
A moment after Dr. Cassar finished his prayer Zephyr took a final deep breather before standing and brushing himself off. It had been a while since he had meditated properly. Of course his martial arts forms had a meditative quality to them, but nothing was quite like sitting down and doing nothing but breath.
Zephyr noticed Dr. Cassar sitting down, and approached him while he had a minute. “Uh, hey, Doctor. Thanks for hosting this session. It gave me a moment to sit down and think about things. I didn’t really help much during the mission and honestly I’d been feeling kind of bad about it. Getting praise when I just kind of stood around. But I’m realizing everyone has their own hang ups about what happened, so I’m not alone, and that helped, so, thanks.”
That ended a lot more awkwardly than Zephyr had planned, he just kinda started rambling there and figured he should stop himself.
“Oh, of course. It’s no trouble for me, I’m just glad I could be helpful.” Dr. Cassar smiled up at Zephyr, gently closing his bible and tucking it away into his pockets. “I wouldn’t worry about not having had the chance to do something this time, also - you know, impostor syndrome is very common in my field as well. I imagine I would have some difficulty putting myself in your shoes, but I know how you feel, at least in, ah, a general sense.”
Cassar also stood, and brushed himself off - more a gesture than because he had anything on him.
“I noticed that you practice meditation. Can I ask, where did you learn?”
“Oh, you noticed that?” Zephyr was feeling a bit embarrassed though he wasn’t sure why. Probably because he had never really talked with anyone about his beliefs, he didn’t bring it up and religion in general was something people tended to shy away from in conversation.
“I’m all self taught. I was raised Catholic but after a certain point I kind of grew out of it. After a lot of reading I found an eclectic, mostly pagan, spirituality fit me best. The meditation pose is optimized for comfort when I’m not meditating for a specific reason. If I do something like focus on my chakras I adopt the more traditional poses.” It felt nice talking about his beliefs, maybe because he knew Dr. Cassar wouldn’t judge him.
“Speaking of growing up Catholic, I recognize The Lord’s Prayer even when it’s not in English. What language was that? It’s not one I’m familiar with.”
Dr. Cassar nodded along as Zephyr spoke.
“Ah, of course. It is easy to recognise, isn’t it? That was Maltese, my native language. It sounds a lot like Arabic, to the, ah, untrained ear. Can I ask also, how come you grew out of the church?”
“That’s a great question Doctor, and one I’m not sure I have a great answer to.” Zephyr had never really given a great deal of thought as to why he had grown out of Catholicism, it was just something that he had accepted as a thing that happened. “It was probably a lot of things, but I guess the idea of one all powerful being didn’t sit well with me. Also the fact that there’s so many belief systems out there, I couldn’t accept that only one of them could be right.”
Zephyr paused for a moment to try and sort out his thoughts better, but in the end, “I can’t really explain it better than that. At the end of the day it’s just how things turned out.”
“I understand, I think. But you know, remember that a Catholic does not believe that God is only one person - there is the Holy Trinity, right? Three distinct persons, each of them a part of the others, all of them one whole, but separate still. Anyway, I do want you to know - I know I must seem a very religious man, and I am, but I respect your way of doing things too. I know some of my brothers in the faith do not, and I regret that.”
“You’re not wrong about the Holy Trinity. Like I said, I don’t have a great answer, it’s just something that I feel in my soul.” Hearing the Doctor say he accepted his spirituality had felt nice, “thanks Doctor. I would never begrudge someone having different beliefs, nor would I blame you for what others of your faith may believe. At the end of the day, I think we’re all working toward the same goal. Doing the best we can to make the world a better place.” With that Zephyr and the Doctor parted ways, Doctor Cassar couldn’t wax philosophical all day, Zephyr was sure he had work to do, so he left him to it.
Later that night Zephyr found two things had changed with their sleeping arrangements. Firstly, instead of the usual guards, Brooks was sitting across the hall. Zephyr gave him a nod of acknowledgement as he made his way to the space where he slept. The second change was it seemed anyone who had not gone on the supply run had been moved out. It was still a fairly cramped space but it felt downright luxurious compared to how it had been before. “I’ll be sure to work hard the next chance I get to make this upgrade feel worth it,” Zephyr said to himself. He was the first one to get there for the night it seemed.
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