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Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Ekirei said
Kinda shitty you just try to get the last word, but I guess.

I wasn't trying to? Just thought it was better if we both dropped it when I said I'd re-make my character. You're free to say whatever you'd like.

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Ekirei said
Yes. There has to be a reason, and a time they were taught something. They aren't born with these techniques, and who is teaching a Genin an assassination technique? Why would he be taught these if he can hardly use them, he's obviously not ready for them. I just think you don't give good enough reasons for these things.

....His family '_'

How would you know you're not ready for something if you don't train for it? It's not like they automatically knew he wasn't ready, he trained hard and that's how he found out about his low amount of chakra, same with his family (I'm pretty sure that's a thing to already know though, Rock Lee for example. No one knew he would have zero talent in Ninjutsu when he was born, he trained and therefore found out and still tried going for it) Still doesn't mean you have to stop training to get stronger. But like I said, I'll remake his form, so I don't even know why we're still speaking on it. Agreed to drop it until I'm done editing? O.o

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Durnehviir said
His bio is about the same length as the Hokage's. Just sayin'.There's that, and bio was never a required field in the first place. Though he is a fairly strong Genin in my opinion. I don't think there should be an A-Rank Genin. That's a little bit uber. Truthfully, there shouldn't really even be a B-Rank Genin, but most of the B-Rank Genin are Jinchuriki so I guess that explains that.

He's not A rank, I just put A because he's able to do some A rank abilities. He's B....And I've put a reason why he was sorta higher level, like I said, he was trained by his family before being put into the academy. Not really in super full detail, but nonetheless it's a reason...But like I said, I'll remake him.

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Ekirei said
If you look at how he is as of now, yes, he is very strong. Chidori as an assassination technique, why would he be taught it? And all these variations? Is there a reason he has them all? You just hardly put any amount of work in. It's all generic; literally, I could replace someone else's Bio with yours, replace the names, and it would seem to work. You just come out as a cookie-cutter character, like some kind of background or Filler character I would see in the anime. Sorry, like I said, my opinion.

He has strong attacks, sure. But you do know that he's at a disadvantage when using Chidori right? Tunnel vision + Only able to run into a straight line + Takes large amounts of your chakra, something Sasuke and Kakashi were able to bypass with their speed, Sharingan, and large amounts of chakra. Haven uses it once and he's pooped, that's not exactly something that makes him strong...And now there has to be reasons to to have attacks and be taught them? Since when? O.o I mean, no one else explained why they had their abilities and there's only a small amount of Lightning abilities. Most of them being Chidori and Chidori variations (Kakuzu's black bird death heart thing & the Raikage's WWE moves, but I'm pretty sure those would be considered S-Rank? Not sure, and pretty sure I wouldn't be able to take any of Kakuzu's moves anyways), unless I can go off of non-canon abilities. Like, movies and filler. Then I could just cut off all the Chidori crap and go off of those, but I know some people don't favor when others use non-canon moves unless they're original...If not, then I'll just remake the whole character because there would be no point in having Lightning abilities. I just tried to stray away from what everyone was doing, I noticed most people had wind as one of their elements so, yeah.

The hell is a cookie-cutter character? O.o

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

CorruptedShadow said
Hm, I'll accept it. What Eki. says though kind of makes me want to make my Bio longer seeing as I AM the GM and I should be showing a good example and what-not.

It actually looked longer while I was typing it (My mistake I guess, usually my forms are longer), though, it's still longer than some. I'll add more to it then, as much as I can add about a simple life of just training everyday...

@Ekirei
....And he's not really strong, despite being able to preform higher level abilities (In which half of them are defensive abilities, one offensive being that he can add lightning to any blade, and another offensive being nerfed in which the original attack throws a thousand needles in which he's only able to throw ten...Chidori, in which the target pretty much needs to be standing still. Black Panther having a limit to it's reach) he still has a low amount of chakra, pretty much meaning that he can't use his abilities as often as others can in a fight. So what does he rely on because of that? Combo attacks, attempting to trap an enemy then hit with a jutsu which can pretty much bring him down to half right there...Then his Taijutsu, in which Taijutsu strains the body when in use, which can weaken him if he uses it too much while being drained of chakra. So that's pretty much his nerf, and reasoning behind him using Taijutsu and weapons over Jutsu. He's pretty much weak compared to other characters.

And I never said his father trained him how to use those moves, it could have very well been his mother (As I've said, she's a Jounin and their family comes from a long line of Shinobi. Not to mention he has older siblings), or Sensei. But as I stated, it's a traditional family. They train their children before sending them off to the academy, and there was little mention of timeline in which he learned his moves. Could have been from his parents, from when he was in the academy, from where his Sensei taught him. Or it's a possibility that he hasn't learned them all yet, which I wasn't aiming for admittedly...But he's had fifteen years to learn all of that, in which Sasuke learned them in less time (Yeah, he's a prodigy and all that, I know. Uchiha are special, canon).

Didn't think the Kekkei Genkai would have needed to be that deep, honestly. But I don't see what's wrong with him having it O.o but I'll take it away, and give a full timeline in which explains how he got all his abilities. Guess I made the bio a little too simple for some.

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Haven Sainō

~Haven Sainō~

Age:
15.

Gender:
Male.

Village:
Konohagakure.

Village Rank:
Genin.

Ninja Rank:
B-A.

Release:
Storm Release (Lightning + Water).

Tools:
16x Kunai :
5 in pouch, 11 in hidden pockets.

20x Shuriken.

Gloves:
Gloves have light metal around the inside to further punching power
Has markings on the palms so he can summon two chokuto.

Necklace:
Can take the top of the cross off to reveal it’s a flask filled with tea
Puts something sharp inside just in case.

Biography:
Being an older Genin, Haven feels embarrassed about it. But it was only due to his family training him, like they always did in their family, trained their children until they were ready to be shipped off to the academy. Haven had become very good at performing jutsu due to his father being an Anbu-level Shinobi and his mother being a Jounin, but he never had that high level of chakra compared to everyone else in his family despite him being able to perform most jutsu’s he trained for well which he traded in for Taijutsu training. Spending most of his days running, standing on hand, and more, his practices consisted of physical training. And mental training, as he always sat meditating after and before training to listen to his surroundings. In his free time he’d read books and plan out combo attacks with all his abilities, as well study others. His parents had taught him about the tension between Konoha and the Republic, always staying neutral between their talks. What side he takes is unknown; he just seems not to care.

Jutsu List:

(The basics)

Canon:

Lightning Release: Chidori

Lightning Release: Chidori Katana (Can embed lightning into any blade)

Lightning Release: Chidori Senbon (Ten)

Lightning Release: Black Panther

Water Clone Technique

Water Release: Starch Syrup Capturing Field

Water Release: Wild Water Wave

Water Release: Water Formation Wall

Taijutsu:

Haven uses Taijutsu more than Ninjutsu, though he implements some jutsu into his Taijutsu which consist of mostly kicks (High, Low, & Mid). He uses his arms mostly to jump around, or catch himself. But when he punches it hurts more than an average punch considering light metal is surrounding the inside of his gloves. He’s also exceptional in using blades (Swords, knives, daggers, etc.)

He uses a lightning ability called Henkan in which he can add lightning to his fist (Using the metal in his gloves) so when he punches it sends a light shock, as well if he misses a punch lightning has a chance to shoot out and shock the opponent.

Kekkei Genkai:
Storm Release.

Other Info:
His personality differs depending on who he’s talking to.

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Ekirei said
You have the key to my heart, son

Well be prepared for it to stay locked.

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

....I'm joining....*Points to Ekirei post* I plan for my character to excel in Taijutsu owo