Avatar of Gardevoiran
  • Last Seen: 2 yrs ago
  • Joined: 10 yrs ago
  • Posts: 3231 (0.85 / day)
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  • Username history
    1. Gardevoiran 9 yrs ago
    2. ██████ 10 yrs ago

Status

Recent Statuses

7 yrs ago
Who here likes cuddles?
9 likes
7 yrs ago
If your girl can't crack your skull between her thighs then whats the point of even being a human being.
7 likes
8 yrs ago
Identities are confusing to figure out.
4 likes
8 yrs ago
How do wing.
8 yrs ago
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
3 likes

Bio

Well hello.

I guess I should introduce myself, huh.

I'm Gardevoiran, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.

I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.



I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.

I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.

"What do you call a cow with two legs?"
"Lean beef."

Most Recent Posts

Anomaly


Xoxi stared at the fight, her psychic hands enlarged and at her side. Her head was lowered and her eyes were closed as she faced towards what could easily lead to her death.

It was time to act.

Tears streamed down Xoxi's face as she raised her psychic hands, using them as shields for any oncoming attacks. She was angered, but as much as she wanted to deck the two girls in the noses, she was better off waiting for backup from Traveler, Spectrum, or Dragon. Just as her hand appeared, it quickly flew off behind Xoxi in a very quick blur, coming back around two seconds later with a leather jacket out of nowhere, draping it over the amputee. Why it was where it was? Xoxi's mind worked in mysterious ways. She also might've borrowed it from Dragon while she was in his house. Any protection was good protection when you were in nothing but a tanktop, bra, and a set of really comfortable pants.

@Regitnui@TheHangedMan@Old Amsterdam@Sedjwick@RoflsMazoy@Floodtalon
I think I'm done posting for today in this. We've gone from like, 4 posts to 19.

I'm gonna be thinking of stuff in the meantime. Don't touch that dial, we're just getting started!
"Gobbo knows the way to Believer's Den. Follow me!" Gobbo began to run through the streets, heading to the most convenient exit of the city. He tripped occasionally, but it was undermined by the fact that he continued being in high spirits even as he tripped.

As Tobias would read the scroll, he would find that he could not read the text. It was in Elvish, not Dwarven. Still, he could feel the power surging within him. If he decided to use the scroll for it's magical power, it would definitely be burned, but he would still be able to use the power of a Pyroblast once. At least, unless he found a way to learn it permanently.

It wasn't long before Gobbo smacked into the gate, or at least, what he thought was the gate at first. He actually smacked right into a paladin, a lower ranked one, but a man of mighty stature, who stood in front of the gate. The man looked directly at Tobias and spoke, his voice beaming with authority. "No passage without warrant."
"A-and leave mashter Yashar?" the goblin asked timidly. After a few seconds of silence from the goblin, he ran into his tent and grabbed a pretty large bag from within it, a dagger clearly sticking out of the side through torn fabric. "Gobbo will do my besht, mashter Toby!" A few seconds later, the tent behind the goblin sparked into flames. "Gobbo doeshn't need the tent. He hash found new friend!" As illiterate as he was, he was still charming in a childlike way.

As for the hand Toby grabbed the spell scroll with, he began to feel it itch with power. A glance at the label would reveal that the scroll contained the spell "Pyroblast", one of the most powerful fire spells ever created. Lucky grab! Right beside it was a scroll of "Ovinization." That turned people into sheep for around five seconds. Wasn't as useful unless you were putting on a show.

MEANWHILE, AT THE DEPARTMENT OF PALADIN RECRUITMENT...

"DAMMIT!" A manly voice boomed through the room. The paladin in question slammed his hand on the table, looking at the messenger boy with his helmet on, his eyes beaming with anger from underneath the mask. "You're telling me that Yashar found someone capable this time?!" The messenger nodded his head, leading to the paladin standing up from his seat and walking to his window, staring at Yashar's tower.

"Tell the Head Paladin that I am on it." The messenger boy ran out of the room in a rush, leaving the paladin at peace. Time to go to work.
"Oh joy! Retrieving the tome AND taking that dirty goblin off my hands! You're already better than the last guy!" Yashar commented as he handed the bag of golden coins to Tobias, the bag easily weighing a good pound or two. "Only serious businessmen pay up front. Go on now! Go get that dirty goblin and bring me my tome!" Yashar walked over to his balcony, standing out over it with a genuine smile on his face. He was happy as all hell that Tobias accepted his task. He just hoped that he could actually be successful at it. It was getting rather expensive hiring so many mercenaries only to not hear from them ever again. Bah, it helped tie up loose ends, he supposed.
"Well... if you really must know... I had an apprentice by the name of Westley Stride, a half elf. He met his fate at the hands of a half-orc he was travelling with, and as such, he had lost his head. I've tried numerous different ways to... bring him back, but each and every attempt had been unsuccessful in keeping him around for more than a week at a time. I miss my student. There was so much more I could teach him..." Yashar trailed off, a tear falling from his eye. "I simply want my student back. Not as a slave, but as himself. As the half elf he was." Yashar's face turned to a set of armor in the corner, emblazoned with lavenders and reds, and adorned with multiple staves.

"I am unable to leave this tower. The Protectorate had raised barriers to keep me here for my life when they caught wind of my attempts to claim the tome. This is why I ask you, mercenary. Fetch the tome for me, and help reunite me with my lost student."
"Sure, sure, you're here for my request, but why are you really here? Answer that in your own time..." the man said as he lifted the scroll off of the table, showing it to the mercenary in front of him. "I am Yashar, one of the most powerful wizards this side of the continent. Over the last few years I've been searching for something powerful, a tome of infinite necromantic knowledge, if you will, written by the since-deceased Brock Sinclair," Yashar started, unraveling the scroll to reveal what the tome in question looked like. "Several of my allies pinpointed it's location to the nearby crypt, since walled-off by the Paladin Protectorate. The Believer's Den. While the dungeon has been cleared out for quite some time of the monsters and such, countless soldiers and adventurers had fallen to the denizen that lurks at the bottom in attempts to reclaim the tome, that is, as the story is told."

Yashar rolled up the scroll again, placing it back down onto the table. "In the end, myths are myths, and that tome possesses some of the strongest necromantic knowledge available to man. I want it. You will get it for me in exchange for wealth, power, and fame beyond your wildest dreams. Sound good?"

Yashar's hand was stretched, hanging in the air for Tobias to grab, should he accept this task.
After ascending the staircase, Tobias found himself in a large room, filled to the brim with staves, books, magical relics, everything. It all centered around a large table, a singular man sitting at the end, looking towards Tobias with a dark scowl. "So you're the mercenary I've heard so much about." The man's voice sounded sinister, resembling the sound you would hear when you scraped your nails on a chalkboard, but a lot deeper. His robes showed that he was a man of elegance and business, but he loved to mess around with the powers granted by the arcane forces of the world. In front of him rested a closed scroll and a large bag of what looked like coins. "I have to say, I didn't expect you to be one of those... tall dwarves? You look like any old human, like me."

The man stood, from his seat, walking along the outside of the table with his hands concealed behind his back. "Ah, but you're not here for me to make simple talk with," the man said as he pointed towards Tobias with a very bony hand. "You're here because of something else. Fame? Wealth? Maybe something more personal? Whatever it is, I'm sure I can grant it."
The goblin led the way to the tower, only stopping when he had to in order to not get trampled by some horses or other large beasts. It took a good few minutes of walking, but at last, Tobias found himself at Yashar's tower. It was quite large, one of the largest structures in the entire city, intimidating many who found themselves under it's large shadow. "Musht shtay. Yashar doesh not like when I am there for information," the goblin mumbled, taking a seat on a pile of bricks beside a patchy tent. Seems that's where he slept most nights. It wasn't a terrible home, though, as he at least had a tent he could rest under. There was a solid bedroll under the tapestry, too, so it wasn't a problem.

The tower's door swung open, almost as if it was expecting Tobias to be there. The staircase just beyond the door was dimly lit by a few lanterns suspended from the walls, a sort of light magic illuminating the room. Quite thematic for a wizard such as Yashar, when someone thought about it.
The Revenant pulled around to the side of the ship, Tibulus calmly setting everything in place for the ship's cargo bay to properly be able to store the containers without screwing up and shooting everything and everyone inside into the vacuum of space. He was around 70% sure that nobody could survive that if they were out there, whether it be because of the temperature or the lack of any breathable substance. He'd been fooled once before, though. How John survived the nothingness for so long was beyond Tibulus' reasonable ideas, but regardless he did it.

The funganoid checked his cigar stash as he waited for his cue to leave. Down to 10 total. That wasn't the best, not at all. He'd have to pick up a few others before he started piloting again. Okay, maybe he didn't, but dammit did cigars help keep him looking cool. He didn't even have a reason to smoke, he just did for no reason. It didn't relax him or anything, and he was immune to lung cancer due to a lack of lungs, so he seriously didn't have a reason to smoke. He just did. Probably because it was a habit at this point in his life. He had spent a lot of his actual life smoking until the day he died, and even then he wanted a cigar as soon as he saw the guy that turned him into a funganoid. Maybe that was the real reason?

Tibulus didn't care. He just needed more smokes.
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