Ginger Tee

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Marta continued to cling to Ezra’s clothes and body lest he disappear. How could this happen, so soon after meeting? How could Marta’s presence already being causing problems for Ezra? And was she really going to allow this to keep happening? She was truly a fool to believe everything would work out. But she couldn’t turn her cheek, she couldn’t pretend it all hasn’t happened. Obviously she had made things worse, but Marta still couldn't stay away. It was like some supernatural force was pulling her towards Ezra. She should have fled the minute Oscar attacked her. Better yet, she should have never come back today. But she did.

Her tears began to lessen, and she heard Ezra explain that they didn’t do much physical harm to him, though it was obvious he was shaken up once again. But he seemed to be holding it together fairly well. Marta would have felt awful if he went into a panic attack like that last night and became nonfunctional. If Marta’s presence didn’t kill Ezra, it would at least drive him mad. She wasn’t worth that so why did she come back? Because Ezra was worth dying for.

When Ezra asked why she didn’t leave when she saw Oscar and the other men, Marta began to say, “I did see them and I turned to leave, but they caught…”

She stopped mid-sentence, realizing she was about to admit to being attacked, but she didn’t want Ezra to know. She deserved her pain, the current pain aching in her gut. She was sure there would be a bruise where Oscar hit her. But Ezra mustn’t know because it validated all of his reasons for why this was the stupidest thing for her to do. And yet she also knows, if he found out, he would take care of her, like he always did when she was hurt and broken. He was just that wonderful.

She carefully followed Ezra behind the counter, watching him getting tea cups out to make them a beverage. At the moment, Marta didn’t want anything or deserve anything. She had to let Ezra know how she knew Oscar.

“Ezra, I need to tell you the truth. I know Oscar. He is my friend Sarah’s brother… when I left last night, they drove by me and offered me a ride home...while in the car, Oscar made a horrible comment about this community and I snapped. I told him he was wrong, and how a family who owned a bakery helped me… I didn’t give him your name, I swear! But he must have figured it out...when I saw him come out of the bakery today, I knew. I knew he was the one to give you the scars on your body… I am so sorry! This is all my fault! Everything is my fault, I have been such a fool. You tried to make me see that, but I’ve been too stubborn. I am ruining everything!”

Her voice was rushed and breathless. She held onto the counter for support, in case she toppled over from fear and pain, and her other hand clutching her stomach. The tears once again returning. It was a battle to keep the sobs from heaving from her chest, cause the pain in her stomach doubled every time she did. What a disaster she has created.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Marta didn’t even process Ezra’s father taking the dress from her. She just couldn’t take her eyes off of Ezra. It was like she was seeing a ghost. She was sure when she came in here, it would be a dead body lying on the ground. Marta couldn’t stop shaking, which didn’t help the pain in her stomach, but she ignored it. She watched as Ezra came over and felt his hand against her head. She reached up and started to touch any part she could reach. Almost as if making sure he was real and as she thought, a ghost.

She listened to his words, and even if she didn’t know what had happened, she could tell he was lying. And his joke about her thinking he was dead did not make her laugh one bit. In fact, it did the opposite. She let out a sob and continued to cling to him.

“I did think you were dead! I saw him, I saw Oscar. And I just knew, something bad happened. Did they hurt you? Did Oscar hurt you?” Her voice was frantic. She needed to know what Oscar did to him.

Not realizing she said Oscar’s name multiple times, she wasn’t aware of how Ezra may react. What would he think that she knew the man’s name who came in here? How could she even know his name? Heaven forbid he thought that she has been working with Oscar the whole time and this was just all some evil plot, because that was the farthest thing from the truth. Marta just put the puzzle together with the few pieces she had. And when Oscar attacked her, it confirmed her suspicions in an instant.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Marta didn’t make it home, at least not right away. Infact, she couldn’t fully remember how she got home. When she had left Ezra’s house, it was about nine o’clock in the evening, so it wasn’t insanely late, but definitely too late for her to be walking around alone. Although she managed to get one foot in front of the other, she had no sense of direction. She wasn’t even sure where she was, but her mind was in too much of a fog, she was delirious. Everything that has happened to her the past few hours have consumed her soul and she felt numb. She didn’t know her up from her down, what day it was, or why she even existed.

Marta’s feet somehow managed to get her back into her side of town, but she was still at least fifteen blocks from her house. As she was walking, there was a suddenly a blinding light. Marta was sure she just died. But in reality, it was the bright headlights of a car driving towards her on the road. Marta didn’t pay any attention to it, until the car stopped next to her and heard someone call out her name.

“Marta!”

Marta looked over to her right and saw a girl get out of the car. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but once the girl was in focus, Marta realize who it was. Sarah. The same Sarah who Marta used just a bit ago as her alibi to why she missed her uncle’s party. What a small world.

“Hi Sarah” Marta said, her voice said, and her face distraught.

Marta looked like a mess. She was still wearing Edith’s dress, which for people who know her, knows she would never wear. And her hair was frizzy and fall out of its up-do. And her make-up was runny. Marta looked like she had to hell and back, and honestly, she felt like she had.

“Marta what happened to you?” Sarah asked in a concerned voice.

“I… uh… I um, got lost.” It was the best thing Marta could come up with in her current state.

“But you look like a disaster.”

Marta shrugged, “Rain.”

“Come on. Let us drive you home. My brother and I are just one our way back from the opera. Here take my coat, you look like you are freezing to death.”

Sarah slipped her thick wool jacket, with the fur lining, around Marta’s shoulders before leading her to the car. The two girls climbed into the back seat together. Marta was quiet as a mouse and kept her eyes downcasted. Sarah’s brother, Oscar, turned around from the driver’s seat and looked at the two of them.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

Sarah looked up at her brother, “She’s fine. Just got a little lost. I told her we can take her home.”

“Well of course. Besides this is not a good part of town. We are too close to the vermon a couple blocks away.” he stated, a slight tone of disgust in his voice.

Marta’s head snapped up and she looked at Oscar between squinted eyes. Rage suddenly boiling up within her. It was people like Oscar that fueled the hate in this world. It was people like him who hurt Ezra. It was people like him that Marta hated.

“They are not vermon!” she snapped. “They are kind and decent people. A wonderful family took me into their home tonight after I was caught in the rain. Closed their bakery and everything just to make sure I was ok.”

Marta thought she was being wise enough not to mention names, but the minute she mentioned the bakery, it was too late. Oscar’s face tensed and he looked Marta straight in the eyes.

“You best not say those kinds of things.” He then turned forward and began to drive the car again.

Marta just made the biggest mistake of her life. What Marta didn’t know was Oscar was the man who stabbed Ezra just a few weeks prior. And when Marta mentioned the bakery, Oscar knew exactly who she was speaking about. There was only one Jewish bakery for miles, and it just so happened to be the one owned by Ezra’s parents.

Nothing else was said in the car ride, and once Marta was at her front door, she unlocked it and walked in. She climbed the stairs to her bedroom, not even bothering to check to see if her parents were home yet. Probably not, they could easily party all night long. Marta slipped into her bed, not bothering to change or anything and just laid there. She could not get her mind off Ezra. She wanted to be in his arms again. And without fail, the tears started pouring from her eyes before she finally fell asleep.

Marta woke, it was late morning, she could tell by the sunshine beaming in her room. She was usually good about closing her blinds, but with everything that happened the night before, she didn’t bother. And just like a flash flood, images of everything that happened yesterday came streaming back into her mind. All of it brought a batch of fresh tears to her eyes.

After about an hour of crying, Marta crawled out of bed and looked down and noticed she was still wearing Edith’s dress. She had to return it. But Marta wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t think Ezra would ever want to see her again, it made that pretty obvious. But Marta couldn’t stay away.

Deciding nothing could be done at the moment, Marta went into the bathroom and showered and dressed for the day. She got dressed in one of her more tone-down dresses. It was a simple dark blue cotton dress that covered her chest completely and had sleeves that went down to the middle of her forearms. She went downstairs and did her best to act normal from her parents, asking them how the party went. She ate her breakfast and told them she was going back over to Sarah’s. She said the two had fun hanging out last night and decided to do it again. This time, Marta accepted the car to drive her.

She climbed into the car and smiled softly at the driver. She gave him an address, which she was pretending was Sarah’s, but really, it was just a street and house number a few blocks from the bakery. It was still close enough to her side of town to be plausible that it was Sarah’s house, but it was also close enough to the bakery that she could walk to it. She held onto her purse, where Ezra’s mother dress was stowed away. At the very least, she was going to leave it by the door, even if she didn’t actually go in.

Once the car stopped, Marta got out, right after telling the driver he didn’t want to wait and she would just call when she wanted to leave. She acted like she was going to go over to a door and knock and watched the car drive off. Once she was sure he was gone, she turned and headed towards the bakery.

It was about a ten minute walk. She turned the corner and was finally on Nederman Street. She could see the bakery in the distance. She felt her feet begin to slow down. What was she going to say? She came to a complete stop, in the middle of the sidewalk, and just stared at the bakery about one hundred yards away.

Before she could make up her mind, she saw three men walking out of the bakery. Marta perked up to see if any were Ezra, but she could tell right away they were not. These men all had nice, three-piece suits on. In fact, they didn’t look like they belonged. Much like Marta yesterday. And then one of the men turned and was facing her direction and Marta let out a gasp.

It was Oscar, Sarah’s brother. Why was he here?

And in an instant, it all snapped in her mind and Marta felt sick. Oscar was Ezra’s attacker. He was the one who hurt Ezra, and last night in the car, Marta mentioned a bakery. He came back to finish the job. Marta’s heart dropped to the floor, her blood ran cold. All of Ezra’s fears may have just come true. He could be lying dead in that bakery.

By the time Marta came to this conclusion, Oscar and his friends were walking towards her. She looked up and made eye contact with Oscar and her eyes widened. What was he going to think about her being here? Without a second thought, Marta turned and started to walk away, but she heard footsteps behind her getting louder. She started to run, too scared to look back. She didn’t get far when someone grabbed her arms and dragged her into an alleyway. She let out a scream, but it was quickly muffled by a hand over her mouth.

She was slammed into a brick wall, letting out a grunt, she looked up and Oscar was towering over her.

“I knew you were a fucking sympathizer. You stupid bitch. Jewish whore.” He spat in her face and Marta turned away, tears streaming from her eyes and her heart pounding in her chest.

“We took care of your little boyfriend, but if you ever show your face around here again, you will regret it… and as a warning..” before Marta could do anything else, she felt a fist come into full contact with her stomach.

Marta doubled over in pain, the air in her lungs gone, and she let out a moan. She has never been physically attacked in her life and she didn’t like it. She slid down on the ground, doing her best to catch her breath. She heard footsteps again and looked up and saw the three men walking away. Marta stayed on the ground in that alley for what felt like hours, her body shaking from fear and pain. Everything Ezra said came true. And it hadn’t even been 24 hours. He was right. Marta was a complete idiot to think that things could work out.

Suddenly Marta sat up, ignoring the pain in her stomach. Ezra. He could be hurt… or worse, dead. Marta didn’t want to think that but she had to make sure he was ok. That he wasn’t lying in his own pool of blood again. Using the wall as support, Marta got up and then started running. She didn’t care at that moment who saw her and what they thought. She just had to make sure Ezra was ok.

She opened the door to the bakery, practically falling in from the force and speed she came in at. She was panting and looked around for Ezra. Her eyes landed on him, and his father, both standing behind the counter. Aside from looking scared and shaken, Ezra appeared to be fine.

Marta stared at them with wide eyes. What now? He was ok, so what was she suppose to do now.

With shaky hands, she reached into her purse and pulled out Edith’s dress, and said “I came to return this.”

My Better Half [tlstiffl + avanhelsing]

@Avanhelsing sorry for the crappy post! I am feeling a bit of a road block. We need something to spice things up a bit. Any thoughts?

My Better Half [tlstiffl + avanhelsing]

Logan rolled his eyes, watching and listening as Jason continued on with his gloating. Either the boy was mental, or he actually thought he was great because he was able to stun one person. Logan wanted to slap him and laugh at him at the same time.

Listening to the boy defend his abilities as a wizard, Logan just nodded his head. Ok, if the boy could a Protego charm, then he wouldn't question it. He did not feel like having another incident that just happened, where Jason had to prove himself and had a mini-celebration afterwards. They would be out here all day.

He looked down at Jason when he sat on the grass and said that they didn't have to do the project right then. Logan glared at him, nothing vicious, but definitely out of annoyance.

"Oh hell no. You dragged me out here and said we needed to get started right away, so we are doing this now."

Logan could have bullshitting his history of magic essay by this point, he was not letting this time go to waste.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

He pushed her away. Why did he keep pushing her away and pulling her back in? Not just physically, but emotionally too. The boy was playing with her emotions in the same way she played Beethoven on the piano. One moment, the music was fast and intense, and the next it was slow and deep. What did he want from her? She thought she couldn’t make it any more clear how she felt and what she wanted. And then he blurted it all out. He said what was truly on his mind, and how he really felt about her. He tiptoed around the subject before, but the stress of the situation overcoming him. She was a burden. She was an omen of terror. She was selfish.

She felt her throat closing up, air being cut off from her lungs. She couldn’t breath, her heart pounding in her chest, her vision going blurry. What had she done? How did she let it get this far? And why did it all feel so right to her still, even though Ezra was doing everything to convince her otherwise? She still deeply wanted the things she said. She didn’t care anymore what that meant for her, but god forbid, anything happened to Ezra. She was selfish.

Marta didn’t hear Ezra say to call a cab. She didn’t see him go over the couch. All she could see was a white light. Her mind buzzing, it sounded like a hornet’s nest in her head. What was she suppose to do now? Her strength was dwindling, she couldn’t keep fighting Ezra, convincing him this was what she wanted and how much she cared for him. It was like banging her head against the wall, one could only do it for so long before passing out. He didn’t want her in his life. She told him to tell her to leave, but he didn’t. But everything else he said and did proved otherwise. Yet, she let herself believe when he didn’t push her away, it would be ok. She was selfish.

Marta wasn’t even aware of what her body did next. Her feet moving on their own. Without a word, she turned and walked down the stairs, stumbling at the bottom a little and landing awkwardly on one knee. She stood and opened the door. The rain had subsided, but it was dark out and with the state Marta was in, it would be a miracle if she managed to go one block without running into something. She left, unaware of the danger she may have just put herself in, and Ezra, if he was stupidly followed her. But Marta didn’t expect him to come after her, why would he? He said it himself, she was selfish.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Marta could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she stood there, not moving a muscle, not even a twitch. She waited, and would keep waiting, until Ezra gave her his decision. When she finally saw him nod his head, it felt like she was able to breath for the first time. He was on her side, he was going to help her. But Marta kept her composure, as glad as she was he was helping her, she knew it was going to be a bumpy road ahead.

And her assumptions were confirmed as Ezra began to lecture her on just a few of the small details of what it meant to be Jewish. Marta absorbed every word, taking in as much information that she could get. At this rate, she was going to need pencil and paper so as to not forget anything. Some of what Ezra said, she knew already. She understood she would be sacrificing Christmas, and the other lavish perks of her life. But all the information on food was new, and she was intrigued. She would love to understand why they do the things they do. She had much to learn.

Feeling him take her hands and putting them around his pendant, Marta felt the value of it sinking in so much more. This symbol would become something very important to her soon. This symbol could also be the death of her. But Marta wasn’t having any doubts. This is truly what she wanted.

When Ezra compared himself to Hitler, Marta’s head snapped up. She could slap the boy silly for making that comment. She let him finish speaking, feeling him pull away from her. Marta understood the dangers that lie ahead, and she would do everything she could to make sure Ezra wasn’t hurt because of her. If it meant leaving behind everything she knew, cutting all of her hair off, and wearing potato sacks as her clothes, she would. If it meant she could learn about this new world she was already beginning to accept as her own, she would. And more importantly, if it meant that Ezra stayed safe while she was in his life, she would do it.

The intensity of the moment was getting to Marta. Her skin felt prickly, like the air was filled with electricity. Marta was ready and her energy was amped up and she needed an outlet before it bottled up too much and she imploded. Looking at Ezra, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled him into another kiss. But this kiss was different, it was not like their first two. This one wasn’t soft and sweet. This one was filled with heat and passion. Marta parted her lips, wanted the chance to taste Ezra. She wanted to be connected to him, even if for a moment. She pulled away a minute later, breathing deeply from the lack of oxygen in her lungs.

She stayed close to his body, her front flush up against his. Her eyes darkened, pupils dilated from the power of the kiss.

In a low voice she said, “You are nothing like Hitler. You are more of a man than he ever will be. And you are not forcing anything on me, I choose this. I choose this faith. I choose this life. I choose you.”

Transform Me, Transform You [neno1445 + tlstiffl]

@neno 1445 bumping, not sure if you know I posted or not!

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Marta flinched a little when Ezra slammed his fist onto the counter. The flinch wasn't out of fear of him hurting her, it just startled her. She listened, her face and body like a statue. She tried to keep all emotions from her face. And Marta did not cry.

It was like her stubbornness turned into pure ambition. She was determined now. It suddenly felt like this was how it was suppose to be. Ezra wasn’t just going to be the person that she wanted by her side, but he was going to help her understand the world around her better. This is what she wanted and she hoped Ezra would at least understand that, even better though would be him wanting the same thing.

After he finished his rant, Marta didn’t say a word. She turned and picked up the phone once more, this time dialing zero to be connected to the operator.

”Hello how may I direct your call?” said the operator over the phone.

“Yes, Max VanMarten residence please.”

”One moment while I connect you.

The phone rang twice, before being answered by Victor, her uncle’s butler.

”VanMarten residence, how may I help you?”

“Victor, it is Marta, could you please put my mother on the line?”

”Of course.

Marta heard him place his receiver end down on the counter and heard loud voices in the background. Sounded like the party was a success. A moment later, she heard the phone being picked up and then her mother’s frantic voice.

”Marta, darling, where are you? Are you ok? Why haven’t you arrived, you are nearly three hours late!

“I am fine mother. I apologize, I will not be able to make it to Uncle Max’s party. I was late leaving school, and while I was walking there, the storm hit and I was drenched. Thankfully, a fellow classmate of mine, Sarah, lived on the street I was on and was kind enough to let me come into her house and dry off.”

”Oh poor thing. But are you sure we can’t send you the car and you can join us? We will be here all night! Your father’s partner’s son, Frederick, is here. He has been dying to meet you.”

Marta held her tongue, making sure not to lash out on her mother. Marta had no desire whatsoever to meet this Frederick boy, who undoubtedly owned his own car and fifty gold watches.

“No mother, my hair's a disaster and I am awfully tired. Sarah’s father has offered to drive me home, so I will be leaving here shortly.”

”Ok dear. Call us when you arrive home. Goodbye darling.”

“Goodbye mother.”

Marta hung up the receiver on her end and stared at it for a moment. She could only imagine what Ezra was thinking at the moment. She had a hunch that he was upset even more, assumed she made up that story about Sarah because she was too ashamed to admit where she was. And that was partly true, Marta didn’t want to let her mother know where she was, not because she was ashamed, but because Greta would send out every cop to her location to make sure she was safe, even more so if she knew she was on this side of town.

Finally turning and facing Ezra again, Marta keeping her face impassive, not letting any emotions show at the moment. Though, there was something fierce behind her eyes. Something that had never been there before.

Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around Ezra, pulling him into a hug, not saying a word. She buried her head in his neck, taking in the smell of his body. It smelled of flour and sugar; that made a small smile tug on her lips. She then pulled back slightly, but stayed near him, reaching up she placed both her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to make eye contact with her.

“Ezra, this is going to happen one way or another. I am going to learn about your religion, and maybe even accept it as my own. I did not have the choice to be a Christian, I was raised to be one and forced to call it my faith. But with everything going on in this world, how can I live with myself when my religion, and people who believe the same things, are creating a hateful world. A world I don’t want to live in.”

She stepped back, giving them some room again.

“I am not proud of being a Christian, and I am old enough now to make my own choices. And I choose to, and have the right, to expand my horizon. To learn about things I never knew before and to allow myself to put my faith into myself and love who I want. And if Judaism allows me to do that then I will not stop until I am Jewish. And it does not matter the risks, I understand what I could be sacrificing by doing this. My belongings, my parents, even my life. I will do this, no matter what, but it would be much easier with you helping me and by my side.”

Taking a deep breathe, she continued on, “If you don’t want to help me, and you want me out of your life forever, then just say the words. And I will leave and never return again. You will never have to see or hear from me again. But if that isn’t what you want, then be here with me. Let me into your world.”

She laid it all out on the table. And Marta didn’t stutter or tremble. She stood there, as tall as she could be, with such determination in her eyes. She would be completely heart-broken if Ezra made her leave, but she would continue her battle of being part of a world that she wanted to be, a world without hate.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

There it was. The bomb dropped from the sky, ripping Marta from the world she created in her mind. The reality. She knew everything Ezra was saying was the truth, she is just on the other side of the mirror. Her point of view is skewed and backwards, and even though she caught a glimpse of what it was like on this side today, she was still completely clueless. The things she refused to think about being said right to her face. The things she hears on the radio, or whispered in the halls of her school. The fact that people like Ezra aren’t safe. And how people like her, did nothing to change that or made it worse.

As Ezra continued, going on about his attack, Marta felt angry tears falling from her eyes. The anger was not directed towards Ezra, but the men who did that to him. How could one man create so much hate in this world? How could he justify his actions, and so many people using his actions as excuses to act upon their own? If they were truly Christians, how is attacking an innocent man not a sin? Marta is not a vindictive person, but at this moment, she wished terrible things on the men who shattered Ezra’s life.

She watched as he stood up, instantly feeling empty not having him near. She saw him go over and hold up the phone. Ezra was done. He was closing his book, this chapter of his life complete. And what was worse, he believed his story would have a very quick ending. But Marta couldn’t accept it, but what could she do? She couldn’t protect him from those men who would undoubtedly attack him, especially if they see him out in public with her. Marta was helpless in this moment, and she hated it. Truly hated it. Even her stubbornness couldn’t help her now.

She slowly stood up, walking over to the counter next to Ezra. She was too ashamed to look him in the eyes anymore. Marta was a pathetic person, letting her naivety blind her from so much. She let herself believe, until this very moment, that love would conquer all. But this wasn’t the fairy tale books her father read her. This was life.

With a shaky hand, she picked up the receiver of the phone. She put her finger into the hole of the dial wheel, but couldn’t get herself to call the operator. There was still a tiny glimmer of hope left in her, buried deep in her heart, that was saying don’t call yet.

She put the receiver back down, and looked at Ezra. A fierce look was in her eyes, a look so serious that the next words that came out of her mouth could not be doubted as anything but the truth.

“Who is your rabbi? Can he help me learn more about how to convert to Judaism?”

Marta didn’t falter on her words, her tone serious and straightforward. She wanted to learn more about Ezra’s religion. She wanted it to not be a barrier between them anymore. Faith is strong weapon, but Marta has her own faith. Faith in love. And besides, maybe she will agree with the ways of Judaism more than Christianity. Marta wasn’t given the choice of her religion, she was just raised as a Christian and did not know any better. If she was to learn more about this world, why not start with faith?