Zach was happy that he was finally getting some time to play games, even if it was at almost midnight on a Friday night. Sure, he was playing alone, sure he was probably going to regret it in the morning — did people work out on Saturday? He figured he’d soon know the answer to that question, for better or worse. He wasn’t about to not
play video games. Who knew the next chance he’d get?
That was why he was up and queueing for Counter-Strike: Global Offensive. Mirage, of course. Who played different maps? Mirage was core — if you weren’t a pro and didn’t play like ESL or one of the other premium leagues, but nobody had money for that shit.
Waiting for the queue to pop, Zach took a sip from his trusty water bottle. Zach was used to the queues taking a long time, it was just part of the game. CS:GO had staying power — it’d been around for years now (and it didn’t seem like it was ever getting updated), sure, but it also didn’t exactly have an active community… especially not in the higher ranks that Zach was stuck in. ‘Stuck’ was a questionable word, since being in the higher ranks was a good
thing, with the only downside being the queue lengths…
Which weren't very long tonight? Apparently, most people played CS:GO at midnight. Who knew? Zach clicked the accept button, and waited for the game to load up into the warmup round. Once the game started, Zach popped up in the voice chat, “mic check?”
He said, trying to see if anyone else on his team had a mic. And they’d better, considering he was Eagle Rank. He was met with silence… which didn’t bode well for the game itself.
Being the somewhat bashful person that he was, Zach wasn’t sure he had it in him to shotcall an entire game by himself. It was a somewhat intimidating task… Recomposing himself, though, Zach prepared for the worst. It was Mirage, he was CT. It was gonna be an easy game, right? Disregarding the fact that he’d not played in almost two weeks, Zach decided to speak into the mic again. “I’m gonna go to A site, I guess?”“Fuck off, retard, I’m going A. I wanna play stairs.”“There’s plenty of room on the site for two people. I’m gonna go mid.”
Well, that was at least confirmed one thing for Zach: he at least two people on his team had mics. That was a good sign, right? “Does anyone know any CT smokes?”“CT Smokes are gay. No one ever throws them, it’s just a waste of four hundred money. That’s like two kills, idiot.”
The voice in the mic from before sounded off again, and Zach wondered if the next half hour or so of his life was going to involving being subjected to this.“Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of toxic?”
Maybe if he pointed it out… she’d stop. It didn’t seem likely, and Zach found himself not only waiting for the enemy to appear on his screen, but also for another uninspired quip.“Has anyone ever told you that you’re kinda GAY? Get off me, rocky.”
Kit snapped into the microphone, drumming her fingers between W and D to move her character up and down the stairs. “Quit your whinin’ and hop in my backpack, ya? I’ll boost you, du— Hey there’s one palace.” Pop
. “Nevermind, I popped his ass.” Pop. “I got his buddy too. You’re gonna be talking about my one taps.” Pop. Pop. “LET ME KNIFE THE LAST GUY FOR THE ACE, DUDE.”
She yelled as she saw her teammate running up to the same place she was going. Kit rushed the enemy and succeeded in stabbing him in the face.
Kit moved her mouse around wildly as she hopped around on the map, having clinched the round with nothing but one taps. Her MVP theme
played in the background, as a harmony to her while she sang.“One tap, two tap, three tap, four tap, MORE.”
Kit said, knifing one of the terrorist's bodies as she hit the control key to crouch on top of him. “Easy game, BOYS. Don’t you worry, you mute monkeys. Me and yellow and blue will carry you. I mean, mostly me, but they have mics so I have to include them — I feel like yellow would cry like a bitch if I didn’t.”“I would not!”“Everybody calm down. We won one round, there’s still twenty-nine to go — you can still thro— Did Green just buy an AWP?”
Brett frowned as he stared at the screen, looking across the way at the most talkative member of his team. She was loud — and annoying, but he could overlook that if she was good.
Still, spending all the money she’d gotten on the first round was… questionable at best.“Hell yeah I did, I’M GOING MID.”“You sound like you’re twelve, holy shit. I never asked for this. Okay, fine. I’ll take your spot A…”
Brett sighed, but turned his character’s head, to head toward the site while Green took his position from the last round. “Just don’t die, okay?”“yOu sOuNd lIke YoU’Re tWeLvE. Fuck outta here, I just crushed them, I’m about to do it again. Who died and made you king? SHIT. You distracted me!”
As she was talking, Green got shot in the face, and Brett had to concentrate. “Shhhh. They’re connector maybe?”
Laying off of the push to talk button, Brett muttered to himself, “is this girl for real? Holy shit, this sucks.”
He squeezed mouse one and managed to kill two of the enemies before he died himself. “Okay, uh, I saw two more in connector, so there might be one jungle with Green’s AWP.”
Brett was more comfortable being dead anyway. CS:GO wasn’t his main
game, but he was pretty good at it. Gamesense was sort of his thing, and he wasn’t half bad at the main rifles, which was the only reason he’d made it as far as he had, but CS still wasn’t what he was best at. He could relay information and make calls all day, though. He was born to call shots.“Okay, purple got the guy in jungle with the AWP, but he’s lit. So, it’s up to you, Yellow and Orange. Oooh, good shot, Yellow. See, Green, you could have just bought a Deagle and been just as effective. Yellow can get one deags, why can’t you?”
Brett was almost certainly spoiling for a fight as he picked on the girl who’d been shown to be “SUCK MY FUCKING DICK, STEVE FUCKING HAINES!”
That one caused Brett to pause for a second. “Wait… was that a…”“...GTA V reference? That’s old school.”
Zach said, shaking his head as he dashed over to try and get an AK-47. He wasn’t even sure that they had one, but maybe he’d get lucky. Some people force bought second round, right? “Ooh, it’s my lucky day.”
They had indeed force bought!
By the time the team reached halftime, the scoreboard had Green (Kitastrophe) — who was apparently a fucking prodigy, despite her attitude — at the top, followed by Yellow (Hey I’m Zach), and then Blue (FrozenReflex) pulling up the third spot. Orange and Purple… weren’t very good — almost like they weren’t a part of the team, but they weren’t heavy either.“Yellow, buy me a P250. No wait! Buy me a Deagle. No, wait. Buy me a TEC-9. Wait, the TEC sucks… You know what? Don’t buy me anything.”
Kit decided finally, talking into the mic with a mouthful of food as she chewed one of the pizza rolls she’d made during the timeout she’d called. “I got this here Glock. Blue, do you wanna see me burst fire them? I bet I can get at least three without full auto.”
Kit was bragging, but she felt like she’d kind of earned it — she had almost sixty percent of the team’s kills by herself, and was very much the reason they were winning so hard (sans that one
awkward AWP incident). The team was very much, as she’d promised, in her backpack.“Uh… Honestly? Kind of. I can smoke something. Where are we going? If we go A, I’ll smoke CT stairs.”“Yeah, A! I’ll go palace, and you guys all go ramp. Trust me, I got this.”
Kit promised, rushing away from the spawn with the bomb in her hands as she right clicked to set the gun to burst fire. “Remember… no Russian.”
With that, Kit rushed them, squeezing the trigger as she jumped out of scaffolding. One kill. Two kills. “SON OF A BITCH! There’s a douchebag hiding on ticket booth, I lit ‘im, but I missed his face.”
Kit grumbled into the mic, making the callout so her team could clean up her mess, finishing up the last of the group.“Shoulda waited for the smoke to pop, maybe it could have covered you.”“Hey, she’s doing the best on the team. Let’s just let it rock. You’re not bad at this game, despite your attitude. Do you wanna queue up after this game?”“NO. Soloq ONLY QUEUE. Also, uh… it’s my bedtime after this.”
Kit said, in a surprisingly meek voice. She had to be in bed by one AM, according to the Doc. It’d help her reset and refresh herself, following her Tekken marathon from the other day, though Kit herself felt like she was fine… The Doc was the boss in that sort of thing. Besides, they had plans
for tomorrow! She didn’t wanna sleep past shopping. “You can add me, I guess.”“Cool! Will do. I like having new people to play games with. What about you, Blue?”
Zach was happy now. They only had two rounds to go before the game was over, and they could all take their weight off of Green’s shoulders. Maybe Blue would be down to play more. “Wait… I should probably head to bed too.”
Ah, hell. He’d forgotten about the whole ‘workout every day to get Sam to date me’ thing.“I guess just add me too?”
Brett didn’t really understand the point of going to sleep so early, but hey. They weren’t his peers, they were just random internet people, and he didn’t really care what they did. “I don’t know. I play League more than CS, but I also play some other shit.”
Brett said, while getting ready for the final round — it seemed like Green was going to pull them, kicking and screaming, across the finish line. “Reminder to play fighting games, the truest of all video games. Buy a fightstick. Go to locals. Support your community. Help it grow. Nourish it.”
Kit said into the mic, while they were on the victory screen — she’d clinched the win for them, of course. “I’ll see you guys next time! PEACE. Lataaaaa, bitch.”