Avatar of Jarl Coolgruuf

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Recent Statuses

1 yr ago
Current Ma! The sex roleplayers are being weird in the advanced tab again, Ma!
4 likes
4 yrs ago
Stack sats, print gats, distill vats, feed cats
1 like
4 yrs ago
We here at Cyberdine Systems have heard your demands and we answer your cries with "BullyBot". With the push of a button you can now automate all of your cyberbullying. The future is here. Embrace it.
5 likes
4 yrs ago
>using the phrase "normie" unironically
3 likes
4 yrs ago
They always ask me, "What the fuck are you doing!?" but never, "How the fuck you doing?"
11 likes

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Most Recent Posts

@Enzayne


space book also says you have big gay

Ayden Newport

Docks - Evening


A bright, cloudless day shone against the water as Ayden strolled along the docks, counting buildings and scanning signs as he went. He breathed the salty air and sighed contentedly as he thought back to his days working aboard that pirate ship. For all the scurvy and near death experiences, he still enjoyed his time out on the open ocean. He internally shook the memories away and resumed his brisk walk past the rows of vendors and docks. There were things to do before night fell so reminiscing would have to wait.

He didn't have to walk much farther before he found the building (more of a upscale shack really) that he was looking for. Rather than walk in the front door, he glanced over his shoulder before squeezing into the narrow alley between two structures. Ayden made his way around to the back of the building and casually glanced around once more before reaching into his shirt and producing a small roll of cloth. Opening the package revealed a set of lock picking tools and he set to work without hesitation.

A cheap building had complementary cheap locks which Ayden made short work of. He eased open the door just a crack and peered inside. Fortune favored him that day as the back room was vacant. Satisfied with his solitude, he closed the door behind him and took in his surroundings. The room he found himself in was some sort of records room packed with documents, letters, and held only a single desk in the way of furniture. A single door was positioned on the opposite wall and he could just make out soft humming from beyond the other door. Provided nothing went especially wrong, Ayden would have little trouble acquiring what he needed without detection.

His eyes swept over the room and locked onto a large chest sat in the corner. A smile spread across Ayden's face as he silently crept toward the chest with tools in hand. This lock was of a notably higher quality than the door lock and gave him a bit of trouble both due to its complexity and the added trouble of working extra quietly. Eventually the lock would yield with a muffled click and he returned his tools to his shirt as he opened the chest. It was filled with dozens of small holding various amounts of gold coins and silver bits... much to Ayden's disappointment. He closed the chest, replaced the lock, and was about to move away when something caught his eye. The grain of the floorboards changed drastically just under the edge of the chest. "That was almost clever," he thought to himself with a smirk.

Ayden took a near-silent breath as he gripped the chest and hefted the container up and to the side. The softest tap of wood against wood deafened him and he cringed, waiting for the inevitable "Who's there!?" but it never came. A soundless sigh of relief escaped him as he carefully pried open the trapdoor almost entirely concealed by the chest. He reached inside and retrieved a wooden box just big enough for a cat to curl up in. The contents of the box appeared rather mundane, just more documents and odds and ends. However, Ayden shifted through these diligently until he came across a letter sealed with wax. A grin spread across his face as he pocketed this and returned the box to its hiding place.

He nearly lost his grip on the chest as he set it exactly back where he found it, but just managed to stop it from dropping. Other than that, a rather mundane break in. Still, he whistled happily to himself as he made his way down the street toward the slums with his prize safety in his possession. He had need of a quiet place to work away from prying eyes and the inns there were at least the latter if nothing else. The cheap prices were also a welcome upside provided he was not robbed on the way there.
@Enzayne
we don't take kindly to knife ears 'round these parts

@Atrophy Not intentional but a funny coincidence. It won't come up often if they work together because he saves it for people other than allies and clients but when it does... oh buddy

Ayden Newport

Currency: 42 bits
Ammunition: 0
Status:

”You can tell an awful lot about a person by the way they write a letter.”


@Arkitekt gotcha lemme crack open my laptop and do that
@Arkitekt Thanks! But I haven't the foggiest idea how to shrink a picture and I can't find any formatting for it
sorry that took longer than I thought it would, but there he is, that smug ass clown

Ayden Newport

Currency: 42 bits
Ammunition: 0
Status:

”You can tell an awful lot about a person by the way they write a letter.”


@Atrophy Christ in a crosswalk Prudence is an absolute savage out here with chill around 2000°

I adore her
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