Kingfisher

Oddly sentimental venting session [Trigger warning for deepness and major feels]

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I have (: Anti-depressants are a gift from God. Though, there are times when I relapse, like if I forget to take my pills for a few nights, or something happen. This week in particularly has been hard for me since my grandma is visiting and she drives me crazy. The other day she had that school shootings happen because people are "just messed up," referring to mental illness and stuff. Ugh, but yeah. I am happy, usually. My mom has been a great beam of support since she's gotten sober and my dad has always been someone I've been able to forget my problems with and watch great adventure movies with. As well as my best friend and my sisters.

@Apokalipse

I'm really glad to hear that :D sorry about your grandma. I guess her generation aren't very culturally aware, but that doesn't excuse making ridiculous statements like that.

I've been on Floxetine for a while, but it doesn't seem to have made much of a change. I'm hopeful that things will pick up soon though!

Oddly sentimental venting session [Trigger warning for deepness and major feels]

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Thanks! Glad we had this bonding experience ^_^ yeah, a lot of people mistake depression as just being "sadness" or something, but it isn't. It's this all-consuming thing that just takes hold of you. You care so much, but at the same time, you can't make yourself do anything about it. You sleep all day and sometimes have trouble sleeping, too. You hate leaving the house and don't participate in activities anymore, even activities that you once found enjoyable. And you don't know why. It's just kinda there; you have no reason sometimes, but you feel it. And at times, you just wanna be swallowed whole by the ground and just disappear. At some points you want to kill yourself, when the depression has gotten really bad, and at other times you don't want to die, necessarily, but you want to sleep forever and never wake up. But people see depression has being synonymous with sadness and so they sometimes throw around the word, not really understanding it. But, people like us do get better, whether it be by modern medicine or a hella good therapist.

@Apokalipse

Heh, likewise! :D

Exactly, it just takes over everything, and you feel weak for letting it. People seem to understand to an extent, but they also think its something you can just wish away. There's this stigma that going into therapy is an admission of weakness. Its not. It is literally admitting that you have problems and working to fix them.

Have you had any luck getting over your depression?

Beyond Civilisations Grasp... - A Rogue Trader (WH40K) RP (ON HIATUS, closed for now.)

Right, I'll tell you what; I'll give everyone...two days to post something, then I'm going to get us off this Outpost with or without everyone. The God-Emperor wills it.

@Jbcool

In Hospital right now, but I'll try and get something up ASAP.

Oddly sentimental venting session [Trigger warning for deepness and major feels]

I have very little to say that's my call to make public, but in experience- Suicide attempts do not easily succeed unless firearms are involved. You're way tougher than you can imagine, and you will outlast the circumstances. Keep breathing. Keep in close touch with anyone who you know will support you. Keep looking for help everywhere you can find it, even if it's just a grey writing dump or anything else that brings a bit of positivity.

Here's a comic that has cats in it and a babby goat getting her first pair of shades.

Hider

@Antarctic Termite

You're a wonderful human being. Thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. Also +10 points for the goat.

Game of Thrones: The Long Night

Need an RSVP if you (IC) will be in King's Landing for the opening sequence.

@Ruby

I was planning on having House Salthowl have traveled down with the Stark Host when Cregan Stark was hand of the King for a day, if that works.

Welcome to Santa Somabra [Fantasy Noir]

@Kingfisher Hey man, do you have an IM or something? Like a Telegram account or a Steam or Skype I can add?

@DJAtomika

I've got a skype account, but I'm in hospital right now so I don't have access to it.

Welcome to Santa Somabra [Fantasy Noir]

Oh
It
is
On

@DJAtomika

Any progress DJ?

Salem Witches' Institute [Harry Potter]

#ThatFeelWhenTheOnlyAvilableGuyAtYourSchoolIsACommunistInAFaceMask

Oddly sentimental venting session [Trigger warning for deepness and major feels]

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You can be lazy without being an asshole, though. Some people just are. My new boyfriend is sort of lazy, too, but he does the things I ask him to do to help around the house without (much) complaint. I don't really mind doing most of the work, since I really am very mothering by nature and always have been. Whenever he wants to be nice and cook dinner, I just sort of swoop in a take over without really meaning to ("Let me do that for you, it's much faster if I do it" or "Here, I'll do that. I'm better at it and it really needs to be done right").

I feel like those two years by myself (and after a couple of months, my daughter) really did something for me in the terms of understanding my own needs and not being so dependent on others as I used to be. I've always been terrified of hurting others and put everyone else and their needs ahead of my own (part of being motherly, I guess). When I was just me, there was no one for me to mother, so I was a bit more about what I wanted to do. I think I really needed that.
Maybe you should just take some time to yourself, as well, and not worry so much about finding that next big love, but more on who you are. You're still young and have plenty of time to find that special someone and sure, you gotta pull the weeds to really see the flowers, but you need to know what you really want before you can find it.

I found that whenever I had I bad thought and felt like I wanted to hurt myself, I just thought of all the goods things I have in my life and sometimes it helped a bit. I thought about my family and how awesome they are and how much they'd miss me if I offed myself and all the things I'd miss out on in my future; such as finding that "true love", getting married, having (more) kids - 'cause I wanna have a billion of them - and living that whole happily ever after that my parents have finally reached after 30 years of uphill. I mean, if they can do it, so can I, right?
Maybe you can do something of the same? Just think of a future that isn't glum and filled with abandonment and betrayal?

I'm 23, so I'm still at that stage in my life where I'm transitioning from teenager to adulthood. It's the perfect time for drama and intrique

@The Mad Hatter

I feel like I'm either extremely lazy or extremely active, and there isn't really a middle-ground for me. Aha, I can quite easily see myself being that person, who sort of tries to help out but ends up being rather inefficient, and just lets the better-equipped people take charge.

I can understand that completely. I feel like I ethier put my needs above everyone elses or visa versa, and I've never quite found the balance. I think finding the balance is a big problem for me, and its something I still struggle with alot.

I try thinking about my family whenever I have suicidal urges, but sometimes I guess there's just too much darkness in my head to stop me from thinking straight. I get that I shouldn't make my entire life about falling in love. I guess that's something I need to work on too. I used to think I just wanted some casual fun, but now that I don't have someone to chat to every night, I just want a dooey-eyed relationship back. I feel like I'm quite indecisive :P

But yeah, I should probbably take some time off to look after myself, so I guess sitting in hospital for a few days is kind've a blessing. I think I've grown to used to casting my mind back into the past, so looking forwards to the future for abit will be a nice change of pace.

Heh I guess I've got THAT to look forwards to then! :P ;)

The Outlander [Sci-fi Epic Adventure]

Zharuus hissed in pain as a bullet whizzed into his shoulder, erupting in an agonising spray of dark red blood. He bobbed out of cover, firing off a three-round burst from his rifle, which sent several of the bandits tumbling into the dirt, before ducking back down.

The new arrivals seemed to be doing well in holding their own. Perhaps there is hope for us yet.

One of the bandits came creeping over to Zharrus' hiding place, his heavy footfalls betraying his approach. When the bandit was practically ontop of him, Zharrus lept upwards, grabbing the thug by the scruff of his neck and slamming him onto the ground. Before he could react, a long black talon had pierced his jugular, and he was left to gasp and choke as the last few fragments of life oozed out of him in a sickly red trickle.

More and more of the bandits came pouring out from the metalwork, in a seemingly endless tide of hate and desperation. Probably looking for their next fix.

"With me, comrades!" Zharuus barked to the newcomers "We'll loose them in the city."

Zharrus took a running leap, ducking and weaving behind whatever scrap metal he could find as bullets pinged all around him. He wasn't as fast as he used to be, but the junkie bandits had poor aim and shaky hands, which might just save his life.

The old man scrambled up over a sandy bank, a bullet whizzing into the soil right next to his head, and exploding in a grainy puff of yellow.

That was far too close for my liking.

Hoping that the group was following him, Zharrus went bolting off back into the ruins of Armahford, sprinting with all the bestial might he could muster.

We just need to make it back to the Casino...we'll be safe there.