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Recent Statuses

9 yrs ago
Happy 10th Anniversary, RolePlayer Guild! Its been one hell of a ride (Definitely didn't misspell that as "help" the first time, and have to re-post it)
4 likes
9 yrs ago
Thank the lord for the Roleplay Guild. Otherwise I might actually have to pay attention in lectures
3 likes
9 yrs ago
"Remember the times you could have pressed quit - but you hit continue" Hope everyone's having an alright day. If not, I hope things pick up for you
3 likes
10 yrs ago
You shot Church, you team killing fucktard!
3 likes
10 yrs ago
My sister saw me watching the Co-Optional Podcast and thought I was skyping my friends. How ridiculous! I don't have friends.
4 likes

Bio

The Dyslexia is strong with this one.

Most Recent Posts



“This has to be the last time, Cerenna.”

“I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard that one before, mi’lord.” the whore laughed nervously, fluttering her painted eyelids as she lay all woven up in the bed sheets.

“I mean it, this time,” Harldur Salthowl sat propped up against the wooden headrest, running one hand over his stubble-covered chin “I can’t afford to run the risk of someone finding out about you.”

“About us, you mean?”

It sounded almost like she cared about him in a way that went beyond how many dragons were in his coin purse, but the Lord of Deeepport was quick to push those thoughts from his head. She is a whore. Nothing more.

Harldur turned away from her, casting off the covers and climbing out of bed. He was naked, and the cold stone floor chilled his bare feet as they pressed against it.

“If you could be discreet and not make a scene, I’d very much appreciate it.” He fought hard to keep emotion from ebbing into his voice, and the dry, uncaring tone that he achieved seemed to do the job well, given the way the whore’s sculpted features began to droop all of a sudden.

Cerenna regained her composure, draping herself across the bed, with one hand poised seductively on her generous hip.

“But without your kitty cat, who will keep your bed warm at night? Who will love-”

Harldur shot forwards, seizing her by her delicate wrist.

“Enough, Cerenna!” he barked with fierce authority “I won’t have you making a mockery of me any longer. I have the girl’s to think about.” He calmed ever-so-slightly, his voice softening “Show yourself out.”

Her face screwed up in anger, Cerenna shook herself free of his hold, before bounding out of bed and scooping her small clothes up off of the floor.

“You’re a cold man, Harldur Salthowl.” She hissed, spitting at him like a viper, before storming out of the room.

He watched her leave, her hips swaying back and forth, her long legs brushing against each other, her dark brown hair tumbling over her shoulders like water. The warm glow of a nearby torch caught her skin, casting it in a bronze light as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Harldur sat down, deflated on the bed as he gazed numbly at the floor. He allowed a single, bitter tear to run down his cheek, before he swatted it away and set about preparing himself for the coronation.

She never loved you, you miserable fool He scolded himself internally No more than you loved her.

The families current residence was a lavishly furnished house on one of the nicer streets, with sandy yellow pillars and a brightly tiled stone roof. It had been intended as a temporary abode, but after Lord Stark had commanded the host stay behind to keep watch in the Capital, the house had very quickly become a permanent dwelling. A few men-at-arms patrolled up and down hallways and stood sentinel by doors, whilst the bulk of the Salthowl force remained garrisoned near the Red Keep itself.

He prepared himself alone, as he always did. The Lord had no love of squires. Harldur stood before a gleaming glass mirror, combing his hair and buttoning his green tunic with hard simplicity, as he stared dully at his own reflection.

Satisfied with his presentability, Harldur strode from the room, his mind set firmly on gathering his nieces and heading to the coronation.

*


“Wylla, that never happened.”

“It did!”

“No, it didn’t.”

“I swear it by the Seven! Maegelle Manderly wouldn’t even look at me, and she certainly didn’t come to greet us on our last visit to Whiteharbour. They’ve got no respect for father.”

“Uncle Harldur is NOT our father.”

The two Salthowl girls sat in the large dressing room, whilst a gaggle of handmaidens fussed over every detail of their appearance.

Wylla had been done up in an elegant green gown with cream lace, which bore puffy shoulder pads and a tight bodice in an attempt to try and play down her masculine build. Her ginger curls had been forced into a tight bun, and her eyelids had been painted in an attempt to match the emerald green of her dress.

Hayllisa sat not far from her, plopped down on a wooden stool which creaked and groaned as if it was struggle to support her. The young woman’s enormous stomach was spilling out into her lap, and her gigantic rear hung over the edges of her seat. Her face had been powdered to add an ethereal quality to her fair complexion, and she wore a open cut green dress which bore a dark cloak that had been tossed back over her broad shoulders.

“Its because we’re just bannermen!” Wylla prattled on, as a handmaiden fastened the lace bodice around her wide figure “They don’t think they have to respect us like they do the great houses.”

“The Great Houses still have to conduct themselves respectfully around their lessers, little sister.” Haylisa groaned, as her scorching red hair was vigorously combed and de-knotted by a slightly overzealous handmaiden “Lest they find themselves alone and without allies during the dark times.”

“Well, I don’t think Maegelle Manderly knows how to act respectfully.” Wylla huffed.

Her sister couldn’t help but chuckle “Is this because of the time she called you ‘abundant of form?”

“No!” the younger of the pair squawked, her puffy cheeks flushing to match her hair.

“Sister dearest, you can’t let all those pointy little words wound you with such severity, or else you’ll never get any sleep at night. If you spend your whole life tossing and turning and trying to please people then you’ll spend your whole life being mocked and ridiculed. Learn to rise above such petty scorn.”

After a few more minutes of hastened preparation, the handmaidens were done. Soon they went scurrying from the room, as Lord Harldur Salthowl appeared in the doorway in a fine green tunic
which matched the girl’s own rich attire.

“You both look positively captivating,” he said with a warm smile as he strode into the room “I’m sure your father could have found a much better way to describe your beauty, but flattery was never my strong point...nor women, for that matter.”

They both laughed politely, and Wylla rose from her chair to give her uncle a light kiss on the cheek.

Hayllisa slowly stood up, her knees letting out a sharp crack as she did so. Her joints were always making such noises, so no one paid it any mind to it.

“Shall we depart then?”

*


They all sat in the feasting hall some time later, surrounded by lords and ladies as they laughed and drank and ate. A warm murmur rippled throughout the hall, and the rich and colourful assortment of clothing worn by the guests was truly splendid to behold.

It appeared that Hayllisa’s chair was larger and sturdier than the rest of the attendants, as though it had been picked out specifically in advanced to accommodate her ample girth, but no one had had the poor taste to remark on the matter.

Wylla took a generous swig from a large goblet of sweet plum wine, whilst her uncle fiddled with the buttons on his tunic.

“Carefully does it,” the elder of the two girls cast a wink over to her younger sister as she chewed on a chunk of roast boar “We don’t want you drinking abit too much and making a farce of this like you did your last nameday celebration.”

“You’re hardly one to lecture on overdoing it, sweet sister.”

“Eat sheep shift, you filthy cu-”

“Girls! Please!”

Harldur took a gentle sip of his Arbor gold.

“There are many prospective young lords here tonight, you’ll do well to conduct yourself in a presentable manner.”

“Does knocking Wylla’s teeth out count as presentable, Uncle dearest?”

No, Hayllisa. It does not.”

I'm really happy with the way that last showdown concluded. I dunno why, it just sits well with me.

If anyone's still out there lurking in the shadows, then please feel free to jump back in. I miss you guys.


"SAYONARA FUCKERS -"

BANG!


Brunkas was sent flying backwards, pieces of shrapnel tearing through his bloodied hide. He crashed into the wall behind him, knocking a few bricks loose as flames licked at his hide. His ears were wailing, and his fur was coming away in clumps, landing in his clawed hands. It was soft to the touch, and wet with blood. My blood.

Make the fuckers pay. Make the filthy fucking undead cunts pay.

He rose to his feet, his aching joins screaming in protest, droplets of his lifeblood splattering against the cobbled floor, and stumbled onwards through the night, hobbling on twisted paws. The air itself sent his body into spasms of agony as it brushed against his leaking wounds, and he could taste sweet blood in his jaws.

Rip the fuckers apart. Smash their bones.

"Frrrruckin' zzoooombeeez..." he hissed, forcing the words out as he gasped and choked. "Keeeel youuuu arllll....."

KRAAAAAK!


A single shot rang out, whizzing through the air and smashing straight into his throat. Brunkas swayed. Brunkas fell.

The ground rushed up to meet him, punching him right in the jaw as he sprawled out across the cobbles.

His heart thundered, and his pulse thumped.

"N-n-no H-hunter..."

His big, shark-like eyes fluttered shut, and the world went black around him as he was swallowed up by the night. As the pale light of the full moon shone down upon his broken body, Brunkas looked more like a lost dog than any sort of wolf.
@Jbcool I travelled both islands and just fell in love with it. I cut my time in Australia short and went to NZ early, and so glad I did. I did a few extra places and it was amazing. Kaikoura and Rotorua where two of my favourites (although the stench did make me ill) and I was lucky enough to be in Waitangi for Waitangi day. And I slept through 4 earthquakes when in Christchurch, and was in the shower for one and didn't even notice. Fantastic country, and if I hadn't of had my son I'd have gone back and done more!


I don't mean to brag, but I once slept in a caravan, so I think we all know who the REAL explorer here is. C'mon guys.

@Kingfisher True, and if you attempt to be clever with him, he'll just eat you. :)

Too many rogues, ye know? Gotta add some variation to the party.


Well then...sounds like he'll have no problem holding aggro.
@Rosalind Character posted in the CHAR tab, waddya think?

There are far too many intelligent, but somehow also deadly, folk here for my liking...thought I'd get a more straightforward character in.


It appears we have our tank.
Do you ever sleep?! :P

Yea, probably tomorrow (that's my 'posting day'), I'll see the party off the Outpost and into the air.

I'm also going to re-open this RP for applicants, so, if you feel like applying, then hop on board.


I do, but I feel like we might be in different time-zones xD

Ah, sweeeeet.
Right, I'll tell you what; I'll give everyone...two days to post something, then I'm going to get us off this Outpost with or without everyone. The God-Emperor wills it.


We still moving along with this?
@Mateotis@Kingfisher

Thank-you both kindly. I fear that if I start venting, I'd never stop. So just waiting for my boy to go to sleep so I can have a well earned glass of wine!


That's fair enough. I suppose its best not to dwell, but know that we're here if you need us. It sounds like you certainly have earned it!
@Mateotis Jacob is looking good, and coupled with what we've developed I think he'll be a great addition! When you're completed, post him in the characters section.

@Heat Looking good so far, will say more once he is completed.

@Symphoni Feel free to post her in the character section and welcome to the role play.

@Moon Fab character, accepted.

@Kingfisher Another great character, accepted.

All the above said I have a few things to say.

1) My ex/father of my son has been a grade A cunt of late, so I must apologise for my lack of activity and posting in this thread. However, I shall be a lot more active from now on. But should RL decide to be a tosser again, I am looking for a CO-GM. To apply for this role, you must have decent knowledge of this sort of setting, and be prepared to come up with some dastardly enemies and situations for our characters.

2) The reason I have been saying just post your character in the character section is because I am giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. I have expressed that this role-play is not for the weak minded. Swearing is going to happen, abuse is going to happen, as well as racism, sexism, every kind of anti-social behaviour is accepted in this story. I want mature writers, and if you are easily offended then this really is not the story for you.

3) Elmina is going to be the leader of this rag-tag bunch of holigans. If anyone would like to take on the 'Second' position, then please PM me and we shall discuss.

Now, I need to go finish my character.


Shitty people will always be shitty people, but I hope you're coping okay. If you ever want to anonymously vent I'm sure we'd all be willing to listen and offer support.
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