thatguy said
I hate this phone sometimes
I really really cringe when people enter Advanced Games using solely a phone.
Lord Wraith
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Reluctantly retired roleplayer.
Except when I'm not.
Why are you here when you should be writing posts?
You can edit a bad draft, but you cannot edit a blank page.
Except when I'm not.
Why are you here when you should be writing posts?
You can edit a bad draft, but you cannot edit a blank page.
Most Recent Posts
I really really cringe when people enter Advanced Games using solely a phone.
thatguy said
No the one before that, right when he wakes up in the lab
That's Guildfall then. You're on your own.
You mean this CS?
Gowi said
It's actually mostly Nate never being able to do it because he's cheeky like that.
You guys always want to chat on weekends when I'm busiest! I'm free almost every weekday night!
Pasta Sentient said
Sure. Sure. I don't have any voice or video right this moment, but I can type! Shall I PM you my username?
Yup that's good! And we've never done video chats and rarely do voice as it's hard to get everyone on at the same time.
Pasta Sentient said
Oh! You are playing Klarion? I had him added as a character of note in Raven's backstory. Would you be willing to work with me on that should my CS be approved? If you really have the desire to play them I don't mind removing him from Raven's backstory.
Not that I should answer for Sloth, but we mentioned it on Skype and I believe your notes don't contradict his ideas. If you want you can join our Skype group.
Pasta Sentient said
I think it's beautiful Sloth. I don't think you're overcompensating at all.
Sloth why wasn't it your Dick sheet so I could say Pasta was jealous of the size of your Dick.
Why u do dis to me?
Kingfisher said
I wasn't aware that criminals were renowned for being honorable and trustworthy, but if the GM's want me to change that element of the CS then I shall.
While mobs/mafias obviously operate outside of the law, they are indeed honorable and trustworthy in their own skewered sense. Naturally they have a different perception of honor and while they wouldn't be above using the supplied information I couldn't see one being able to join them. Additionally for most mobs/mafias, you need to have someone put their life on the line being willing to vouch for you. A mob or mafia acts like a family, and blood is thicker than water. Add to that the need for the proper ethnic background and relations, the mobs are almost impossible for a random person to join. All that means, Duela would have a very hard time joining and an even harder time leaving, there would have been a huge price on her head the moment she betrayed her first mob.
Gangs on the other hand would be easier to infiltrate but no less hard in terms of leaving.
Kingfisher said
If the whole "criminal ring-leader" type deal isnt working for you guys, then I might simply re-write her to be more of a spree-killer than a crime boss, seeing as in the comics it's the Joker's face that makes her cronies follow her, which is obviously lacking in this incarnation.
We aren't against a ring-leader, it just doesn't come across as believable with the current CS. That said I personally like the spree-killer idea more as I feel your style of writing, voice and tone all seem to suit it a bit better.
Kingfisher said
Right now my laptop is completly fried, so I might not be able to get a revised CS up prompto, but I'll try my very best.
No need to rush! We aren't going anywhere. Looking forward to seeing your revisions.
After discussing the completed submitted sheets with Gowi, we have passed verdicts on the following:
However, I hate to be...
but...
Kingfisher, Gowi and I talked at lengths about your Duela sheet and ultimately we've decided that we're not willing to accept it as is. We found the back story to be illogical as most organized crime certainly wouldn't recruit a snitch, and they especially would not promote a snitch to the position of a lieutenant. Snitches are known for doing one thing, and as such they're extremely untrustworthy. Additionally the later part of the back story feels very contrived, especially given the circumstances of Duela's 'rise to power'. How did killing an assassin suddenly allow her to take charge of the street gangs? A further question I might also pose is that, despite blind luck how did a girl who was likely malnourished and suffering from the symptoms of withdrawal manage to evade and stalk a professional killer? A rather minor point, we were both rather baffled with the girl's self mutilation, while I understand cutting herself at one point you talk about her entire body having had a blade stuck under it. Not only would this potentially be incredibly harmful if not down right fatal as they're some places on the body that you just can't get away with that but the blood loss and other side effects would be horrendous.
Since Duela is also a Gotham criminal, and one I assume you intend to have interact with its heroes perhaps including even the Batman, Gowi and I thought it was a little odd there was no mention of Batman within the sheet. Especially since Batman basically changed Gotham, along with that the CS does very little to align to the timeline all the while mentioning Duela remained a teenager yet not giving us any real indication of how much time had passed. I understand villains have more appeal when their back stories have that vague aura to them but based on what she's accomplished and the outlook provided through the CS it strikes me as odd that neither Batman or the events that have taken place in Gotham haven't affected Duela.
To conclude we're not flat out rejecting the character but asking that you make some revisions with the above in mind. If I might make a suggestion in terms of her self mutilation, look into George Foyet from Criminal Minds. His self mutilation took a purpose in that he covered his body in scar tissue which slightly increased his durability. I like the idea of really making Duela an urban gritty villain, but we feel the current backstory doesn't portray that in a way that doesn't seem forced and unnatural.
Roman said | Identity |John 'Constantine' Constantine
Zacharius said | Identity |Yara, Yasmin Starr, Power Girl
Byrd Man said | Identity |Jonah Hex
Hound55 said | Identity |Originally Charles Szasz, now Vic Sage (with alternate identity The Question – also known as “No-face”)
Bounce said | Identity |Lor-Zod(Superboy)
However, I hate to be...
but...
Kingfisher said | Identity |Duela
Kingfisher, Gowi and I talked at lengths about your Duela sheet and ultimately we've decided that we're not willing to accept it as is. We found the back story to be illogical as most organized crime certainly wouldn't recruit a snitch, and they especially would not promote a snitch to the position of a lieutenant. Snitches are known for doing one thing, and as such they're extremely untrustworthy. Additionally the later part of the back story feels very contrived, especially given the circumstances of Duela's 'rise to power'. How did killing an assassin suddenly allow her to take charge of the street gangs? A further question I might also pose is that, despite blind luck how did a girl who was likely malnourished and suffering from the symptoms of withdrawal manage to evade and stalk a professional killer? A rather minor point, we were both rather baffled with the girl's self mutilation, while I understand cutting herself at one point you talk about her entire body having had a blade stuck under it. Not only would this potentially be incredibly harmful if not down right fatal as they're some places on the body that you just can't get away with that but the blood loss and other side effects would be horrendous.
Since Duela is also a Gotham criminal, and one I assume you intend to have interact with its heroes perhaps including even the Batman, Gowi and I thought it was a little odd there was no mention of Batman within the sheet. Especially since Batman basically changed Gotham, along with that the CS does very little to align to the timeline all the while mentioning Duela remained a teenager yet not giving us any real indication of how much time had passed. I understand villains have more appeal when their back stories have that vague aura to them but based on what she's accomplished and the outlook provided through the CS it strikes me as odd that neither Batman or the events that have taken place in Gotham haven't affected Duela.
To conclude we're not flat out rejecting the character but asking that you make some revisions with the above in mind. If I might make a suggestion in terms of her self mutilation, look into George Foyet from Criminal Minds. His self mutilation took a purpose in that he covered his body in scar tissue which slightly increased his durability. I like the idea of really making Duela an urban gritty villain, but we feel the current backstory doesn't portray that in a way that doesn't seem forced and unnatural.
Revans Exile said
So I take that to mean this is no longer going to happen?
The idea behind the RP was found to be very flawed and as such I've axed it. If you wanted to read the original idea I can post it back here but it's riddled with plot holes.
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