Fionn sat silently, occupied more by his own thoughts than the conversation, waiting for if and when someone would mention him or someone would involve him in the conversation in anyway.
He pondered the words he said and whether he said them effectively, as language can be tricky and words can confer different meanings in different context. Something he always had some difficulty with given the general lack of direct interaction with others in his life. The other part of the shifting nature words have is the experiences of others. The background they come from can manipulate their understanding of words more than any contextual clues that can be gleamed by indirect observation. All important things to whether the message was conveyed successfully or not. Something Fionn strives to do by formulating the right words in the right order, as incorrectly conveying messages can lead to negative results of varying degrees. Part of knowing which words to use is based on knowing the other members of the conversation and how they might portray the message.
Which lends itself to a catch 22. Fionn wants to avoid conveying false messages, which is easily done by avoiding conversation all together, but he needs to conversate in order to learn about others and how they might view information. This leads to a bit of indecisiveness on his part. Should he talk and risk failure to convey the message? Would this choice of words convey the message better than these other words? All in all, this is another part, albeit small, of himself that he loathes, adding to his self-deprecation. Self-hatred would lead a lot of people to depression, but fortunately (or not, depending on the context) Fionn is too stubborn to fall into such a state, letting the anger fuel his endeavor for self-improvement. He is mad at his mistakes, not himself, and he’ll be damned if he is condemned by them.
She smiled, softly and gazed at everyone seated around her. "So please, if you're hurting now, or you start hurting later just let me know. I'm here to treat you and make your lives easier. Not judge."
“Not feeling any pain now, but I’m sure that’ll change soon enough. Rest assured though Doc, because I fully intend to dole out the injuries rather than receive it.” Fionn said, ending in a small laugh.
“I guess you let your weaponry do the talking…”
This idea intrigued Fionn. He never thought about it much, but what are bullets but blatantly a obvious
Fuck You to the recipient. In a way bullets, and by extension similar lethal implements, are very specific words given form. Form in a way that is universal to all languages. It’s odd to think about, but in this sense he is very talkative. Fionn could hardly help as this brought a faint grin to his face before considering what words to say.
“It’s just that words are these shapeless, shifting things. The meaning they hold is defined by what is understood about the words themselves and what context they hold with the others. Sometimes, people are influenced, by their different background than the speaker, to infer different meaning than what is intended…” Fionn spoke quietly before pausing briefly, looking for the right words.
“…but bullets, well I am hard pressed to find a better way to express my dislike of someone than filling them with lead.”
Fionn finished, with a tone to match his conviction, and feeling confident that everyone understands that his quiet nature is only a part of him. Truly, he believes, there is no greater way to make your thoughts known than a few very small (and on occasion, very large) objects headed towards someone at frighteningly fast speeds.
Overall, Fionn is starting to warm up to this group of strangers, starting to figure them out a little more. Like it or not, He’ll need to put some trust into the others. Trust in their ability to cooperate in the tribulations that are sure to come. It is likely to get easier in the future as the strongest bonds are formed in the face of adversity.
Of particular note is Max. He seems to be most similar to Fionn as far as personality or worldview. Though He cannot say as to what exactly he has gone through, he feels some sympathy from a similar experience though he may have came at a different conclusion. Fionn barely remembers the times he had to make decisions. He barely even thinks about the aftermath. All he remembers is having orders, and following them to the best of his ability. His first kill was something that happened quick, he barely remembers the circumstances. He only remembers seeing something, and acting on it by the instinct drilled into him in basic training. Sure it came back to him later, but he learned to realize shortly afterwards that when seconds matter, hesitation ticks some of them away. Hesitate more, and you might run out of time and be forced into an outcome you may or may not like. Acting fast is the only way to be certain of the outcome, whether good or bad, and often, the outcome that comes from hesitating is worse. Ever since, it has been relatively simple for him. He just asks himself a few questions. Friend or Foe? Threat or harmless? Priority or not? Those three questions are all he’ll ever need in most cases. It takes a fraction of a second to pick a person out from the environment. A fraction of a second to determine if it is hostile or friendly. A fraction of a second to determine if it is a threat. More questions take more time to answer, and time is a resource that once lost can never be gained.
At least, that’s how he dealt with it. It may be different than how Max figured it out, but that is what works for him. He knows he has to act, as someone else will not always be able to act for him.
Aside from Max, there is also the otter, Rishun, who seems to be practically antithetical to himself. Her energetic, constantly active nature is a backwards reflection of himself like a paring of the sun and the moon. She also seems to, at least so far, be constantly embarrassing herself as if the universe itself was displeased at her existence. He made a note to keep an eye on her as she and trouble will likely make a pair. Though on the other hand he respects her use of those… ‘otter’ words, whatever language that is. He can always admire someone who appreciates their own culture, even if he himself does not show it as visibly as her.
For Silverwind, he already has an impression of him, though he will scrutinize it more heavily considering him being the leader. Nevertheless, Fionn is fully prepared to follow orders, and die if need be, out of respect to the chain of command, and perhaps later, as to respect of Silverwind himself if he proves to be worth of it.
As for everyone else, He is not sure enough to have much of an opinion of yet. Only time will reveal the bonds that will be formed. As the crucible of conflict will surely turn this group bound by the selection of some higher-up into a force capable of fighting well together.
Member
MrSkimobile
Red Wizard