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3 mos ago
Current There are stupid questions, but if you pretend you were just joking you should be okay.
3 mos ago
The best business pitch is to throw the business ball past the business batter to the business catcher.
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3 mos ago
I sometimes hear about someone having skeletons in their closet. Ok? How do you know they're still in there? You can't just assume a skeleton is gonna stay still. This is your house, not a graveyard.


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"Yeah, okay. I'll wait."

Mori was hanging off the side of a building, about three storeys up. He had been about to open combat with a ridiculously badass flip off the wall towards sword chick, but he had gotten orders to stop, so he had dug his hand into the wall in order to slow down. Ugh. Obviously he could stop any time he wanted, but why? "Don't you have any faith in me, boss?"

He had been ordered to come back, too. He actually had to run backwards 'cause the other losers couldn't keep up with him.

"Yeah, okay. I'll come." Through his mental link with Rosa, Mori sounded defeated. He released his grip on the wall and dropped.

...Into an unbelievably cool-as-shit flip off the wall towards the sword chick! "Not empty-handed though!"

Lancer moved at the speed of badass, crushing the ground beneath him as he landed and continued into a run. He could see the weird girl wandering around. She wasn't even looking at him! She was sticking her head into a wall like a friggin' scared flamingo or whatever! That was fine. That was cool. He wasn't here for her. He just wanted to grab a couple of those flyers that were stuck everywhere. Once a nice papery wall was in Mori's reach, he'd scoop a big chunk off with one arm before slamming into the wall and pushing off of it with his legs.

"I'm takin' ya shitty wallpaper, babe." He cleverly quipped as he bounded away. Returning to the group, as promised.

Let's go.

"Okay, yeah. I like the sounda this." Lancer wasn't sure about Caster, who was apparently worried her magic crap might get offended or something, but Archer seemed tough, and his Master was definitely a smart chick. She had given him solid orders, anyway.

His job was to run and be in front of everybody else, which made a lotta sense. The other two could fight at range, so he wasn't worried about getting isolated by going too far from them. Not that he'd need backup against some dumbasses hanging out in a city! Lancer cracked a skeleton's skull for good measure as he zipped off, shouting "Time to ride, girl!" For whatever reason.

He was going at a speed that would probably tempt the other Servants to call out 'slow down, you'll burn through all your mana', but Rosa would find this actually wasn't the case. Mori's horse was in his legs, which gave him long-distance running capabilities at an efficiency level pretty unusual for a Servant. He never missed an opportunity to run up a wall, because it looked cool as shit, but also because he could get a better look over the area once he reached the top, before leaping to the next building and running down its wall, all without losing speed.

Hell yeah. I'm awesome.

It may have been the animal infused into him that caused him to feel so alive while doing this. Lancer let out a free-spirited laugh, and then promptly outran it. He dinged his spear on mailboxes and streetlights as he ran northward with the river on his right, looking around eagerly for whatever trouble had been worth summoning a whole bunch of ancient dead fighters and nerds. "Alright! Where're the crappy skele-guys at?!"

Lancer had conjured his spear upon arrival, and faced towards the approaching undead with a demonic half-grin. Tragically, they had proven to be non-threats, easily suppressed by Caster's own minions. Boneless Man dematerialized as Mori muttered, "Freakin' wimps. I don't even gotta go down there for crap like that."

That being the case, it was time to focus on the big picture.

"Yeah, I can take a look around real quick. Don't know about nunna that runic crap, but ain't no way these bone losers are catchin' up ta me if I take a jog around their stupid town."

Idly, he tore a bit of stone out of the ground and lobbed it at a skeleton engaged with a warrior, chuckling quietly as he beaned the thing in the head and likely destroyed it. His gaze then shifted to the living human among them, from whom he sensed the tug of a contract. "Yo, this Caster chick and the big guy sound like a real coupla' brainiacs, but you're my boss. Lemme know what plan you're thinkin' of for the fight- or I can just grab ya and we can fuck wayyy off. Definitely an option."

Knowledge of the modern day flowed through Mori's head, and he picked out his favourite bits. The city was obviously fucked to damn shit, but he wondered if there was still some gum or Cheetos around somewhere.

Oof, fair enough. See you guys around.

Forest Outskirts, West Side

Jack approached the lesser barrier and held out the charm he had been given, offering him and his companions a proper look at the edge of the forest. He didn't step forward yet, however. Between the four of them, the Masters were the ones who would need to avoid risk at all costs. If the protections of this place were on a Servant's level, what chance would humans have of surviving? Still, it would have been a waste of their abilities to hide out, particularly if one of their Servants were to fall due to inaccessible healing.

"Your man can do his thing whenever he's ready, Mr. Gardener."

The four of them - two Masters and two Servants, stood ready at the threshold, and it fell to Berserker to lead the charge. Suffering the traps of the enemy, and returning that suffering when the opportunity arose, was the mad warrior's role. To enable the vulnerable magi to follow, Saber had been enlisted as an escort, and backup if Berserker's life came under genuine threat.

"Stay close enough that you can get to either of us in a single move, Saber, and let's see what our ally uncovers."

@vancexentan Any useful items in the bunker as Jack wanders through storage halls during the timeskip?

Black Faction's Base

The journey over had been uneventful for Caster. He had faster ways to move from country to country, but for the sake of saving magical energy and keeping with the group he had joined them in their mundane transportation, remaining in physical form over the journey and idly fashioning a quartet of magical stone daggers. He generally said nothing unprompted, but seemed vaguely dissatisfied with his own work. Or perhaps that was just his natural state. It was impossible for him to love anything, after all.

The beady little eyes of the fairy king scanned their base of operations with a certain amount of judgement. He commented "I can work with this. It's not bad." As the group entered the building, and before the door closed, almost as an afterthought, he glanced back outside and drew a set of elves from the earth.

Just like that, fey creatures of the world had risen up from nothing. Angular faces, paper-white skin, pointed ears, and animalistic eyes marked them all as utterly inhuman. With the simple order of "Gather me some wood," They were scattered to the four winds.

Within, Caster passed judgement as he heard of the priests' fortifications. "Lead? I understand its usefulness, but I can do much more with silver and gold, which are more befitting of the place where I reside anyhow. Don't worry, I'll find my own, just don't come whining to me while I'm trying to make this place somewhere not even a Servant could penetrate. You're the one who'll have to deal with it if those idiots succeed with their genocide, after all." He stalked off, muttering, "When I was alive, pretty much nobody was killing all the humans..."

Travelling a fair way down one of the immense hallways, Caster chose a room to reside in, immediately decided it was too small, and then melted the wall between it and the neighbouring room with a quick rune. He considered adding a third room to his super-room, but figured he should fill up the space he had, first. With a bit of focus, he drew out the elementals underground, half-forming a team of dwarves who brought him offerings of precious metal from deep below. He completed their formation into gangly fellows with bushy beards, and the lot of them began constructing a forge. They would work with the metal first, and he would bother with recruiting faeries once there was enchanting to be done.

Things were getting cramped. He was definitely going to have to melt more walls.


Jack had intended to improve relations within the team during the flight over, but things had been dull enough that there hadn't really been an opportunity. His own Servant was as bombastic as ever, and between her and Anderson he had met two people in one day who didn't really fit with his reserved and respectful image of Christianity. Not that it was his business.

"You enjoy your discourse with the priests, Saber. I'll let you know when it's time to fight. You don't have a problem with being the first one into battle, right? Though Berserker might contest you for that, and Rider would give you a race and a half if he had a mind to beat you to it."

With only one case in hand, he didn't really have much need to settle into a room at the moment. With that in mind, he made to grab Father Howard's attention for a moment. "Mind if I poke around some of the stuff in these rooms? Blessed artifacts and the stuff you guys use to kill Dead Apostles... It might be good to bust some out if we're doing this, hm?"
Massively dropped the ball due to my own fuckup. Send me a hit if there's still anyone around.
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