Thor was a tough one to crack. He could be eligible for any of the good sides and maybe even the Reds. I chose Indigo mostly for Donald Blake, 'cause doctor.
Master Bruce
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Winged Freak
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- Old Guild Username: Master Bruce
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- Master Bruce 12 yrs ago
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Bio
Very well, where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.
Most Recent Posts
I'm gonna go for the "What about the others" part of the question and base it off of what I've read so far in the IC.
Green Lanterns
Superman
Wonder Woman
Captain America
Ben Grimm
Blue Lanterns
Spider-Woman
Reed Richards
Beast Boy
Violet Lanterns/Star Sapphires
Johnny Storm
Black Canary
Indigo Lanterns
The Flash
Green Arrow
Sue Storm
Thor
Red Lanterns
Batman
Moon Knight
Wolverine
Yellow Lanterns
The Punisher
Black Widow
Ghost Rider/Vigilante
Blue Devil
Orange Lanterns
John Constantine
Star-Lord
Blue Beetle (Mostly for The Reach)
Black Lanterns
Barbara Norris' Virginity
The Belt That Hung Robin Williams
Retired's Post Frequency
Green Lanterns
Superman
Wonder Woman
Captain America
Ben Grimm
Blue Lanterns
Spider-Woman
Reed Richards
Beast Boy
Violet Lanterns/Star Sapphires
Johnny Storm
Black Canary
Indigo Lanterns
The Flash
Green Arrow
Sue Storm
Thor
Red Lanterns
Batman
Moon Knight
Wolverine
Yellow Lanterns
The Punisher
Black Widow
Ghost Rider/Vigilante
Blue Devil
Orange Lanterns
John Constantine
Star-Lord
Blue Beetle (Mostly for The Reach)
Black Lanterns
Barbara Norris' Virginity
The Belt That Hung Robin Williams
Retired's Post Frequency
Would be more humorous if they thought Bats was Dick under the cowl.
"Oh, wait. Has Robin been killed by The Joker at this point? Is Bruce stuck in time, and is Damian about to take up the mantle?"
"I... understand literally nothing that you're talking about. I'm not even sure half of those are really words."
"Nonsense! Tell me that you and Clark have at least formed the Justice League, at this point?"
"...Alfred. Call Arkham."
I can't wait for the FF to make a stop over to Gotham.
"Bruce! Thank god you're alive in this world! Where's Robin?"
"..."
"Who the hell is Robin?"
"Bruce! Thank god you're alive in this world! Where's Robin?"
"..."
"Who the hell is Robin?"
And then Johnny heard Spider-Woman's words in his head. Not only did she know Peter Parker – she had called him hers. Johnny released Spider-Woman from the hug and then placed his hands on her shoulders. He squinted at her for a few seconds as he began to put the theory in his head together piece by piece. Suddenly a knowing smile appeared on his face.
Mary-Jane Watson was Spider-Woman.
For some reason I just immediately burst out laughing at this.
I know that it's a natural conclusion for Johnny to make, given his world's history. But for some reason that just came across as the most airheaded Johnny Storm thing that I've ever read.
Kudos, MM.
Why is Babs older than Harley?
I have no clue. Though it's always been kind of a thing that Harleen became a doctor at Arkham at a young age and right out of college, so... maybe? Eh, even that's a stretch. I feel like those ages should be reversed, if anything. If not marking Babs' age down to a 21-22 at peak Batgirl.
I think there's definitely a way to do a Bruce/Babs romance and then there are all the ways not to do it.
We're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one. I'm fine with exploring alternate versions of characters, but there are just some relationship dynamics that are always gonna be set in stone for me. And with Bruce and Barbara, I'll never not be able to see him as her second dad/perhaps even much older brother, depending on the version. So them locking lips just feels incestuous, even ignoring the betrayal aspect to both Jim and Dick.
I'm not limited to thinking that way with just those two, either. Arkham Knight paired Barbara and Tim Drake up as not only lovers but soulmates who married, and that left quite a bad taste in my mouth after growing up with comics and cartoons that depicted Tim as the younger brother that she would often jab or counsel in dire situations.
One of my favorite issues of Batman of all time is actually bookmarked by them acting as siblings, since it involved Batman and Gordon patching things up after the one-two punch of Knightfall and No Man's Land had messed up their friendship.
So, yeah. Fuck that too. Love the game, but Arkham Knight's treatment of that one specific character dynamic can jump right off a cliff.
Also, unrelated to Batman. But holy shit does this look like a marked improvement over that dismal first season. Thank God for showrunner change-ups, eh @Hound55?
You can imagine where that Killing Joke movie sits as far as my rankings of all of the movies.
Hint: So low you can't even see it.
Hint: So low you can't even see it.
(Also, ignore Babs being apart of that gif, because ew. No. Not even in an alternate reality where Bruce somehow isn't a surrogate father figure to her. Fuck that noise.)
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