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    1. Oxenfree 8 yrs ago

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Okay. Here we go, round 1 of CS reviews coming up. Apologies if I come off as harsh - I've got a bunch to do, so I'm only really hitting the areas that might want a tune up. If I don't mention it, chances are high that I liked it.

@MissCapnCrunch A very unique idea! Clockpunk has always been a favorite aesthetic of mine. I have three main notes that you may wish to address - the first being that her appearance doesn't seem to match with her nature as a clockwork girl recreated from a mangled body, unless Daedalus did an absurdly good job fixing her up to be normal. Second, her powers could be massively improved, if you wanted; this is, though a dark one, something of a superhuman RP, and I am worried that Charlize might be left without much to do if her only enhancements are 'permanent homeostasis'. Finally, her backstory at the moment reads a little more 'magical' than sci-fi, in that it seems like her father's efforts to rebuild her with random garbage actually had some effect, which is a stretch even by the incredibly stretchy sci-fi rules we've made here. An option you could consider is having her father actually have been a Daedalus Corp employee, which would explain not only how she passed into their possession but also how / why / if his attempt had any success. Something to consider.

@TheGrundlesnart The Dog! I really like how you played with the CS format to make it seem more like a document. Don't really have any specific notes, so, well done.

@Ever Alice is interesting - definitely an especially dark character. I think the CS could benefit from a bit more specific detail about her modifications as well as the experiences she's had growing up - she's come very far from the five year old that was stolen, so seeing some events from her life since then that lead to her development might be interesting.

@Hellion I only have one real note about Sam, which is that I'm not entirely sure what her powers can do - is 'manipulating tattoos' purely affecting the way they look, or something more? If the former, you could certainly put a bit more juice into it, if you want - your choice, of course.

@GingerBoi123 Gotta love a good cyber-soldier. The Ronin is great - I think he'd do well as a contrast to the other characters and work with the 'revenge' narrative well. My only note is that he seems very rooted in the trope of cyberpunk style soldier, and while there's nothing wrong with that I think he could benefit from some specific backstory elements or personality traits to set him apart as 'unique' (the 'favorite thing to do' is a good opportunity for this - the question is on the sheet because it can make characters feel more 'alive', if that makes sense).

Alright, I did it, finally. Again, these are all just suggestions - you're not obligated to take them and if you don't, that doesn't necessarily mean you won't get a spot. Thank you all so much for the great work, reading these CSes has been an absolute delight!

I should also probably get mine done at some point, come to think of it.
Really great stuff, guys! It's amazing to see so much response to this idea so quickly. I've decided that the deadline for CS submissions will be on the 13th - if anyone needs more time than that, you're welcome to discuss it with me, but that seems like a good place to set it. I'll be reviewing and giving my thoughts on CS's as they're posted, so those of you who already have can expect that by tonight / tomorrow morning.

Thank you all so much!
All are welcome to apply! No spots are taken yet. In terms of powers, anything goes, really, as long as it fits roughly in the realm of science-fiction. I'm available if you have specific questions!


Stolen Lives: A Runaway Story



The Daedalus Corporation thanks you for your compliance. Together, we will build a brighter future.

Your life has been stolen.
It doesn’t matter who you were before you came here – maybe you were a soldier press-ganged into something you didn’t understand, a sick person so desperate for a cure you signed your life away, or maybe some random schmuck off the street they bundled into a van. Daedalus Corp has you now, and you’ll never be the same. They cut you open, took things, added things, ripped you apart and put you back together again as something else. You’re a guinea pig, a test subject, another one of the bones paving the way to the golden future. But that’s going to change, soon. You, and the poor souls like you, you’re gonna find a way to get out; and when you do, you’ll have a choice to make. Run and hide, or make these bastards pay.

Welcome to Stolen Lives! This will be a small group, high-casual RP in which players will take the role of test subjects experimented on and twisted by the Daedalus Corporation, an omnidisciplinary evil science organization with their fingers in everything from weapons manufacture to space exploration to biotech. Any concept goes – you can be a cyborg, a super soldier, the carrier of a deadly pathogen which gives you supernatural abilities, a mutant, a hybrid of man and animal – really, if an evil scientist could have turned someone into it, you can play it. There will be an emphasis on action as well as relationship building and character development, as player characters will need to come to rely on each other over the course of the story. It will begin with the players still imprisoned at a classified Daedalus Corp facility, and follow their story as they break free and try to stay free from the Daedalus agents out to recapture them. Expect body horror, black comedy, righteous violence, and a group of broken people coming together to find out how to be human again.




Rules




  • The usuals – no godmoding, powerplaying, if characters must get naughty take it to pms, so on and so forth.
  • Don’t be a jerk. I have absolute faith in you that you can achieve this.
  • You can keep anything about your character secret from the other characters, just make sure you PM me and let me know what it is!
  • I’m capping this RP at a strict five players. Applications will not be first come first served – once sheets are in, I’ll establish a day when I announce all the accepted simultaneously.
  • Writing standard is high-casual, so some minimum standards of grammar and legibility will be expected. At least one brief post a week is the target, and please inform me if you’re going to be away longer!




Character Sheet


Feel free to mess with the CS skeleton all you want, as long as all the questions get answered. This is just a helpful guideline.



Stolen Lives: A Runaway Story




The Daedalus Corporation thanks you for your compliance. Together, we will build a brighter future.


Your life has been stolen.

It doesn’t matter who you were before you came here – maybe you were a soldier press-ganged into something you didn’t understand, a sick person so desperate for a cure you signed your life away, or maybe some random schmuck off the street they bundled into a van. Daedalus Corp has you now, and you’ll never be the same. They cut you open, took things, added things, ripped you apart and put you back together again as something else. You’re a guinea pig, a test subject, another one of the bones paving the way to the golden future. But that’s going to change, soon. You, and the poor souls like you, you’re gonna find a way to get out; and when you do, you’ll have a choice to make. Run and hide, or make these bastards pay.

Welcome to Stolen Lives! This will be a small group, high-casual RP in which players will take the role of test subjects experimented on and twisted by the Daedalus Corporation, an omnidisciplinary evil science organization with their fingers in everything from weapons manufacture to space exploration to biotech. Any concept goes – you can be a cyborg, a super soldier, the carrier of a deadly pathogen which gives you supernatural abilities, a mutant, a hybrid of man and animal – really, if an evil scientist could have turned someone into it, you can play it. There will be an emphasis on action as well as relationship building character development, as player characters will need to come to rely on each other over the course of the story. It will begin with the players still imprisoned at a classified Daedalus Corp facility, and follow their story as they break free and try to stay free from the Daedalus agents out to recapture them. Expect body horror, black comedy, righteous violence, and a group of broken people coming together to find out how to be human again.
PEPSI, WARHAND OF PLAZA


Pepsi turned at the sound of bootfalls behind him, placing the gore-stained glass around his neck quickly and lifting his hands over his head. He bared his teeth in a wide, mirthless grin at the so-called warriors who had come to investigate the death of their fellow, and the man leading them who spoke with him in a voice so stern, so rich with certainty in its Way. Finally.

"Alcohol, whose Way is walls and rules and bullets, who would bring order to the mad jungle. Had I known that death would bring me this audience, I would have piled body after body at your feet." He sniffed at the air, blood running down his face. "You could offer me your thanks. Your guard was disregarding his duty, and I contend that he has been rightly punished for the weakness of his Way."

He straightened his back and stood to his full, towering height, glancing between the guns drawn on him, the shaky hands, the horrified eyes. Perhaps he had been wrong about this place - perhaps these people would be better crushed beneath Plaza than serving underneath it. But Alcohol was a man of strength - he would serve the sun-priests well, in time.

"Tell the man who circles behind me that if he lays a hand on me, I will rip his throat out with my teeth," Pepsi barked, and the boy in question recoiled, obviously convinced he'd been quite discreet in his approach. "There is no reason in his dying today, nor mine. I will walk where you will take me." In Plaza, an outsider who attacked a Jaguar would be torn apart on the spot, his still-living guts an offering to the sun. But that was not the Way of this place, to gun down a threat in broad view of the people who had cheered for the attack. Time would tell which Way was superior, when one remained and one was ash and blood. The world was beautiful in that simplicity.

He held up his hands higher, still grinning, his gaze fixed on Alcohol. "I am waiting."
Oh, War of the Chosen all the way. Thanks for the interest! I'm gonna be gone for the weekend, but when I get back I'll see about an OOC.


Hey freedom fighters, welcome to the interest check for X-Com: Last Days of War, a High Casual RP based (unsurprisingly) in the world of Firaxis's X-Com 2. It'll be a small-to-medium group RP, probably around 6 or 7 people, in which player characters will be the soldiers of one of the rebel organization X-Com's guerilla squads fighting against the ADVENT regime of alien invaders that controls the planet. It is not, I repeat, not necessary to have played X-Com to join, understand, or enjoy this RP - the setting is not at all complicated and will be explained in detail in the OOC post, and you can expect the story to go in different directions than the story of the game. Expect a grim story of life on the run, fighting a losing war against impossible odds, forging friendships in the heat of conflict and finding hope even in the darkest times. You can also expect a good amount of action-packed gunfights with a myriad of alien monstrosities, some mysteries to solve, no small amount of black comedy and ample time for character interaction and growth.

So, what do you say? Ready to set the world free or die trying?
@Dynamo Frokane

Not a problem. As I'm writing it, it's pretty much limited entirely to manifesting armor, blades, tentacles and such out of biomass, limited by how much biomass she's able to ingest and expel (which means a fun weakness is that she eats like an army). You'll be the judge, of course, but I doubt it'll end up particularly overpowered.
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