PlatinumSkink

RPGC #9: REBIRTH

Heh. That's a nice lively little theme. Let's see what I might be able to dream up. Lately I might have been getting too used to labours, this much liberty at what to write suddenly feels unnatural... Haven't actually written a proper story that wasn't a gimick or something for RPGC since, whelp, RPGC #4 from 8/9 months ago. Yikes.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

... That was a stupid meta joke. It did not have anything to do with the story. I was well aware of the challenge requirements and do not consider the meta joke a part of my entry for the sake of clearing the labour.

To expand upon that

To make my case a bit more, the Narrator as he was in the story has no control over the Creation or what the Creation is doing. It's just that, both the Creation and the Narrator KNOW they're in an entry, because that information has been provided to them. Despite this, the Narrator has no intention of being defeated, and certainly did all he could to avoid so. He just happened to become stunned with fright in the last second, unable to act due to the impossibility of the Creation being able to touch him. Well, that and minus the last scene where he decided to flee, which I would be more willing to accept that I failed if it was due to that, but I had the Creation catch him.

The ”you” which the Creation was referring to was, technically, a different Narrator. That is, the Narrator that's ACTUALLY writing the story and controlling both their actions. That is, me, PlatinumSkink, the writer. The Creation says whatever happens upon his mind, of course he's going to mention it just because he knows about it even if he shouldn't. The Narrator, my representative in the story who had his plot smashed by the Creation, does not have those powers over the Creation, and can therefore not be said to have manipulated the world in order to place himself in a situation where he'd lose. Otherwise, it would be absolutely impossible for this labour to be cleared, because ALL the writers here are in that position of power manipulating their worlds to ensure their defeats. ... Yeah.

… That's about it.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

@shylarah I want a "nod" button. I don't have much to say in response, but, acknowledged. I see what you're saying. Still with my own perceptions about the matter, but I see what you're saying.

@Holmishire Oh. Ah. I see. Alright, that's a bit more clever.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

My reviews. Yeah. Haha.

Knockity-Knock

Heh. I dig the presentation. The way this was written feels almost enchanting, somehow. Something magical about it. While the story itself is nothing I’d comment about, the scenery you describe, the atmosphere you present and the horror that the person was feeling. Well delivered.

I will note, though, I didn’t really feel anything at all from the final three paragraphs, and it did feel like the conversation was a little longer than it needed to deliver and maintain the effect. But, that’s really just my personal experience with the entry. I was satisfied after half the entry, and then I was surprised to find I was only half-way done when the woman had already come in. Haha.

Schrödinger

… Hm. Alright. I liked the last line. That was a nice way to bring the title into it. However, for most of the rest of the entry, it felt very stale. No matter what was done, your creation wouldn't react, huh. I’m worried if my own entry is similar. Still, I entirely understand where you’re going with this, I’m just kind of unsatisfied by the lack of… well… things that seemed interesting. It was more like a god smiling at an unruly child. Not all that amazing a sight. Oh, well.

But I do like the very last line. It feels like some form of accomplishment has been made. This feels like it’d make an excellent introduction to a longer tale about these two. Well, it probably won’t be, but it’s suitably amazing for it. Though, on its own, it’s not really something I found that memorable. … Except the final line. Yeah. That was nicely dropped. Well done.

The Object of Fate Design

Um. So, what was that object? I realized first after I was done reading that it was most likely the titular object, but... Did it really do any Fate Designing? Was what happened that Nathan was to manipulate fate to get to talk to Claire, but Richard had up and gained his own such object and did it first? Because, I suppose that would make sense. But you're not telling me what happened, or really why. I understand why, completely, if we remove the object. He totally just got cold feet. But, add the object, and this turns into an extremely normal turn of events for something that holds something so unnatural.

So, um. Yeah, I'm completely confused, and that's kind of clouding my ability to critique this entry any further. There certainly isn't anything wrong with your writing or your ability to set the scene, but... What happened? I was like ”Oh, notes in the end, they might be able to explain” but... nope, they certainly didn't. … In any case! Good of you to write, still! My simple mind just couldn't understand the things that were in your head, that's all! XD

The Internal Debate

Wow. That's so simple. It's simply a discussion about the mental condition of the character. Even smaller, it's a discussion about the use of a single adjective about how he was feeling about writing his assignment. That's amusing. How does one even create a character that is supposedly smarter than oneself? That knows information that oneself don't know and is TELLING oneself about it? Haha.

I did consider writing about simply an argument, but I was deterred by the challenge parameters. ”Surrender or cession is inadmissable”, but how does one ever lose an argument by NOT giving up? In a discussion one can always continue putting on arguments and such, when would it end? I kind of feel the same here. Didn't you in the end surrender to Mitch's reasoning? Isn't that what that was? … Oh, well. Suppose I'll have a definite answer when the results of the labour comes up. Very well done, regardless. I enjoyed it. Haha.

Pua Tu Tahi

*read the notes* OH! … So THAT'S what it was! … That's not the first time you've thrown me for such a loop! XD

Alright. So your opposite is a feared reef monster. Yeeeaaah I don't think a lot of us has many similarities with such a thing. I will admit I went through most of the entry thinking ”What's this all got to do with the labour?”. Well, aside from me wondering what essentially makes you Abrahan- OH! … ”The Narrator” must fall to the monster, and in this case ”The Narrator”... is the guy who wrote the log-book. He's the Narrator, but not of the story, but of his own log-book, and then he had his total failure...

… Did I get that right? Am I figuring out your puzzle? Or am I just totally lost? XD … Regardless. Wow, this entry had a ton of words that I've never heard before. Haha.

Dream's End

Oho. I'm writing this directly after the button was pressed. I must say, this introduction has me interested. I like the idea. Using your own imagination to make a game... Let's see what you do with it.

… Ha. Hahahahaha. Your creation took over the world. Nicely done. That's a way to have an actual confrontation with your creation and having an actual in-universe way of doing so. I like it. Reminds me of that one Star Trek episode where the Sherlock Holmes villain they created in the Holodeck took over the ship. Honestly, the one thing that detracted from the excitement for me was that the opponent turned too powerful. Sure, it's extremely logical that it would happen, but it became a little stale. But I like the idea and I like the execution. It just became a bit obvious what would happen after a while. Nicely done. Haha.

Happy Endings

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

Well. I remembered two out of those four previous entries that you brought along. I'm, uh, I unfortunately spent most of the entry confused. I get that she hijacked the system from you, but as for what she did and how she did it, I kind of got confused. If fact, I'm kind of confused as to why she was given the chance to do this in the first place, and why it was so easy to do. The shift to other worlds was jarring, and it left me scurrying for memories of what those places were. When I read this entry, I had no internet, and even if I would have had the internet I wouldn't have wanted to need to go to those entries just to get rid of this confusion of what abilities the different characters had or why Céline might have wanted to grab them.

If it had been better explained to me why she needed the characters BEFORE they actually did what they were supposed to be there for, and maybe a bit basic update on who they were and where their motivations currently lay then maybe I wouldn't have felt so confused. But, other than confirming that she got her revenge by somehow getting fluid manipulatio- OOOH, it was THAT ENTRY, THAT'S why she could just PICK UP those super-powers in those bracelets...! … See? That's what I mean. I just realized what she had been doing by suddenly remembering that entry while writing the review. Before that, I was like ”how did she get those powers? don't get it”-. I slowly realize what things were, what Émile's power must have been and what the Grace must be, but... Well. This does not change how confused and not-understanding that I was during the story itself.

This is probably pretty spectacular, and I see what you were thinking... but if you pull multiple worlds of your own making into a single entry, PLEASE make sure I don't have to read the rest to understand what's going on. Because... I didn't. In this situation, I would rather have too much information than the opposite. Had it been humerous, I could imagine the lack of information would have worked better, but this is stone-cold serious. Yeah. I also do appreciate a bit of a warning before suddenly entering a world of multiple previous entries. Because like this, I was left in the dark, I felt like. Even though as someone who's most likely read every single one of the other entries I'm probably one of few who should be able to get this, I was still confused. … Oh, well. I do appreciate the thought. … Yeah, I don't have much good to say. Your writing's as good as ever?

The part where you were defeated, that part which the labour's supposed to focus on, sure got melted into the background. That was, like, never her goal, that was just a side-effect of getting her revenge. Just stole a lantern, bam, defeated. Haha.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

... Well. I'm, uh, I suppose I'm done. Haha. Hahahahahaha.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

Alright. I've written... most of it. Well, I've written the separate scenes in the order I've gotten the inspiration for writing them. Which, well, if we order them 1 to 5 in order they actually appear in the story, guess I've been writing 1, 5, 2, 4, 3 in that order. Not sure if that's a good idea, but real life has been going through some major things right now, so can't write unless well inspired. Now I just need to find the inspiration to write the .5s that stick them together before the deadline. Hopefully the deadline itself will serve as said inspiration. Hahaha.

Edit: No, wait, this is more 1, 5, 3, 2, 4...

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

I have a plan.

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

... Alright. That threw me for a loop. Allow me to go and consider for a while what that kind of character might be before I even open the "The Challenge" hider...

RPGC #8: Snapshot Voting AND Discussion!

My opinions. Here we go.

Cat

Oh, geesh, cats. Yeah, I know their kind. There’s a cat at my friend’s place that was so shy that it couldn’t even be within sight-range of us before fleeing. It was quite depressing, the cat wanted to flee all human beings in existence, only coming back home to feed. But then, one day out of the blue, it suddenly transformed into the cuddliest thing in existence. Didn’t want us to stop cuddling it for a single second, homing in on the closest/most likely to cuddle human in his proximity. It became an opposite problem, all of a sudden. Silly cat.

Oh, wait. I was supposed to review this as an entry, wasn’t I? It wasn’t an “I read your experience, I share mine” kind of thing? My mistake. It read so much like one.

Yeah, it’s a nice entry, explaining the photograph. Your writing is nice enough, the whole entry read realistically enough that it was as if I was reading someone sharing their experience in an Off-Topic Discussion post rather than anything else, so it feels weird to review it. Yeah, there’s some feel-good emotions there, some amusement at the cat’s distress, and yeah. It was normal enough. What more can I say? Haha.

Alv

Well. That’s a single paragraph. But, that’s still a brick. Thick paragraphs are difficult to read, even if there’s only one.

Other than that, yeah. Sounds like a lovely little competition. Honestly, I’d be interested to hear how it went for him. Since we didn’t, we only got this snapshot, can’t really say any more than that. Your writing holds up, but you already knew that. Hm, that’s about it, yeah.

Project Debriefing

… Yupp. That’s… well, that’s a thing. Suppose that taught him a lesson, or something. Uh. Yeah. Hah. … Oh, well. So, in what way is this a snapshot? Eh, no idea. Oh, well. Doesn’t entirely matter if I don’t get it, I suppose.

The Database

Ooooh. Here we have some beyond the ordinary. Let’s see. … What’s this? An entry for ants? Nah, I’m kidding. Zooming in.

Clever. It caught my interest. Alright. Yupp. Nicely written, given in a clever little way. I will say that single lines like that that are located close to one another CAN be hard to read, but in any case. The world you built here… it’s interesting. I like it. Though, yes, then a lot of dark things happened, and yes. Still. It was dramatic and kept me excited, and that’s what matters. That, with an entry delivered like this. Haha. Well done.

… I must say, though, I am very confused as to what Osaka has with things to do. Feels like an odd place to set things. Well, I know the Japanese are good engineers and everything, but, haha. Then there were mentions of Europe, which further confused me. Oh, well. … I kind of want to go back and look at the mentions of the place now, but CTRL-F does not work on images! XD

Snapshot of Imagination (me just saying a little about my entry, for those who have already read things and decided what to vote for)

… So, I had this idea for a chuckle. First, I set up with a really detailed description of a potentially awe-inspiring picture, my “snapshot of imagination”. Then I try to draw it. And then people can smile at how bad my drawing is compared to the snapshot I was trying to describe. Yupp. No idea if I succeeded with that. But I had my fun. Looks like it was a bit appreciated at places. Haha. Anyways. That’s that.

Fleeting Breeze

…*shiver* … I feel like I walked in on a couple having a moment, huh. Not ENTIRELY sure what the image is supposed to signify, but… well, wind blowing into the red string supposed to signify love, mayhaps, causing it to change, or something. Not sure if the kind of tree or the black thing is supposed to signify anything. Nah, let me not delve into that when I am so obviously not the right person for it. Probably extremely meaningful. It’s nicely written, though otherwise I don’t know what it’s to signify. But, thanks for sending it for us to read, anyways~

Silent Blues in the Past

………………………………………………………….

Well, I could pretty much have left it on what’s above, but I suppose that would be entirely unsatisfactory. Well. Um. Your writing is good. You already knew that, but still. I might have been in the wrong mood for poetry. “Oh, geesh, I need to read all of these before tomorrow, may as well do it now” might have been the wrong mood. The grey image wasn’t exactly instilling me with interest and the text well accompanies that. So, in that kind of a way, suppose it was pulled off excellently. But, yeah. Not sure what here I’m supposed to take to heart. Eh. Oh, well.

The Little Augustus

Hm. Yeah, it’s a picture. A picture of the things a young emperor experienced while facing that which would end his rule. The things he’d experience and the things he thought of. I can see that. I can also decide that I do not envy him in the slightest. But, anyways. It’s a good entry. You portrayed what you intended to portray, and I understand it. Yeah. That’s about it.

My vote

I @vote for The Database by WrongEndOfTheRainbow. It did something a bit new, created a new world which I appreciated and presented it in a relevant format. It was the most memorable one. It was the most of an experience of the things present here. Thanks for that.

Sacrificial Characters and Writing their Deaths

I once created a girl that was made to die. She was made along with a "dark twin", whom I totally intended on surprise-dying against her when the inevitable fight against her finally came up. However, I felt really guilty about that and changed my mind before I got there, so the other players saved her life and managed to convince the "dark twin" to join the good side (after some suitably dramatic doing). She was never the main character of the roleplay, she was simply one in the group. Not one to lead, but, yeah, had it been a movie she'd probably just have been "one in the team".

As for how I wrote her, I made no specific difference in how I wrote compared to otherwise. I didn't want the others to suspect what I was doing. I did ensure she didn't have any loose plot-threads lying around unsolved, and ensured her dark twin was her final goal. She had a rather depressing past, but she was an uplifting soul that mostly smiled though those who knew sadness could sometimes see it in her eyes. I thought it'd be a new experience to attempt to play someone I intended on killing. ... Of course, that didn't happen, but I simply wrote her like any other character, though special point might be made that I made her a cheerful young girl that talked to people and tried to make relationships before her death. Wouldn't have had as much impact if she was a loner and then died, after all. ... Then she didn't die because I changed my mind, but, yeah, still. Haha.

I probably didn't actually have a good reason to kill her. I just, well, wanted the experience. Not sure if I factored in the others at all. I wanted to try playing a character I knew would die? ... Well, how nice of me. I even failed. XD ... Nope, not sure I can answer the question. But, since I once did make her for that purpose, I thought I'd mention her here. Haha.