Puchuu are normally viewed as mercurial and capricious sociopaths that view their magical girls as expendable tools to do their bidding, so the cowardly creatures themselves can stay well out of harms way. They take what they want via deception, manipulation, and sometimes even the use of mystic force of a level unfathomable to lesser creatures (and they view most anything that isn’t another Puchuu as a lesser creature, whether or not such is actually the case). That a Puchuu would willingly place itself at the mercy of another being, even one objectively more powerful than themselves, is nearly unthinkable, especially if said Puchuu wasn’t one of the exceedingly rare “nice” variety. But, as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures, and there are few Puchuu more desperate than…
“Wakey wakey…” Those words, spoken by an annoyingly condescending voice, were the first things that greeted the groggy
Puchuu as he slowly returned to consciousness. In times long past,
he would have been the one to employ such a tone with recalcitrant girls in his employ, and the current, ironic, role reversal was a particularly unpleasant one. Oh, how the mighty had fallen…
“Have a nice nap?” the voice inquired.
“I told ya you wouldn’t feel a thing.”Opening his large, weary eyes, Chiichuu was met with the sight of that pestiferously patronizing voice’s owner, the lab coated and be-goggled Monarch of Mad Science. “So, I take it you’ve had your
fun with me, then?” the Puchuu spat indignantly from where he sat atop a cushioned hovering drone from which protruded dozens of bizarre apparatuses.
“I have indeed,” the smirking mad scientist confirmed.
“Thanks to you, I’ve learned everything there is to know about your cryptic little species. And there’s no reason to look so grumpy,” she added.
“After all, I promised to reward you for volunteering to be my test subject, and I never miss an opportunity to show off my unparalleled super-scientific genius! Nyahahahaha!”“D-Does… Does that mean…?” Chiichuu asked, his formerly disgruntled tone now shifting to one of desperate hope.
“That I was able to create a team of magical girls skilled and powerful enough to rival your precious, unparalleled, and comprehensively erased from history Shining Hearts?” the Queen of the Mad Scientists finished, her smile growing even wider.
“You bet your fluffy ass I have. Yeah, I’m sure you were convinced your humiliating fall into pathetic obscurity was finally complete after your single joke of a replacement got plucked away by that djinn/fairy godmother/whatever-the-fuck-she-is-now girl, but—”“She wasn’t my
only replacement!” Chiichuu cut in. “There’s also—”
“Yeah, yeah, there’s also Casey,” the goggled young woman finished with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“But, let’s be honest, she’s about as memorable as Celia. And as I was saying, just when you’d accepted the impossibility of ever bringing back your cherished little ‘glory days’, you decided to make the best decision of your pitiful life and seek out the one person who could actually do the impossible: me. Now, I could have simply gone back in time and killed The Blight myself, thus preventing the Shining Hearts from ever needing to sacrifice themselves in the first place, but I think we can both agree that would be a particularly anti-climactic way of resolving things. I mean, the Grand Magistrate supposedly cares about telling compelling narratives, even if his ability to actually do so is sorely lacking, so I think it’s only right that we endeavor to do the same in regard to this laughably small and insignificant matter.”“This matter is neither small, nor insignificant!” Chiichuu snapped. “And there is nothing
laughable about it either! Besides which, do you
seriously expect me to believe you could reverse the flow of time itself?! Such an ability is impossible for even we Puchuu! It violates the metaphysical laws of this universe!”
“I make it a point to do things everyone else considers impossible whenever the opportunity presents itself,” the mad scientist replied nonchalantly.
“Although, as I mentioned before, there are always exceptions. So, instead of doing that ‘impossible’ thing, I simply did another.” With that, Doctor Nykannis, Queen of the Mad Scientists, opened a holographic view screen, which depicted a a fairly typical teenage girl’s bedroom. Lying on the bed, unharmed and sleeping peacefully, was the teenage girl herself.
“Nyahahahaha! Feast your eyes, fur ball!”At the sight, Chiichuu’s big eyes bulged and glistened, while his mouth hung agape in utter, disbelieving astonishment.
“L-Larysa…?!” the Puchuu cried. “T-This can't be… T-This can't be
real!”
“I assure you, it’s very real,” Nykannis replied.
“Go on, use all your special Puchuu analysis powers. I know they’re pretty garbage, at least compared to what I can do, but they should still be enough to prove to you that’s really her. Well, a version of her at any rate,” the mad scientist clarified.
“B-But
how?!” Chiichuu questioned. “She was erased from history, just like all the others! I’m the only being that remembers she even existed!” the Puchuu added, his big eyes overflowing with tears. “I even tried searching for versions of her in other universes, but I eventually came to accept that she and the rest were clearly unique to
this universe, that, or The Blight’s dying curse erased them even across universal boundaries!”
“Well, I’m sure you tried,” Nykannis replied, sounding even more patronizing than ever.
“But you Puchuus’ poly-plenumic capabilities really leave a lot to be desired. Hell, I’ll bet your searching didn’t even cover a fraction of the realities in this multiverse, let alone any of the others,” she added dismissively.
“Anyways, Larysa here recently showed up in someone’s shitty fan-fiction, which may or may not have been written in someone else’s deranged hallucination, but regardless, that means that there’s a universe in which she still exists. Now, some people may think that the fact it was written about created that universe,” the mad scientist went on.
“But that’s not actually the case. The fact is, that universe was always there. It being mentioned simply made it easer to locate.”“If you found her, why couldn’t you just send me to wherever she was?” Chiichuu asked.
“Well, when I found her, she was in pretty bad shape,” Nykannis replied.
“So I rescued her, healed her, and then placed her in this perfect recreation of her room, drawn directly from her memories, where she’ll continue to nap until you’re ready to visit her. Oh, and I’ll leave the whole explanation of where she is and what happened to her to you,” the mad scientist added with a smirk.
“I know how much you Puchuu love to give your introductory spiels, and Larysa was the leader of her team and your personal favorite, right?”“H-How did you know
that?!” Chiichuu stammered.
“I made a complete scan of all your memories while I was dissecting you. Because of that, I know exactly how special she was to you, and that’s why I knew I should probably acquire her first.”“F-First…?” Chiichuu blubbered. “D-Does that mean the others…?”
“All in good time,” Nykannis assured the Puchuu.
“For now, I imagine you can’t wait to chat with dear Larysa again and tell her all about the wonderful opportunity you can provide her with,” she added, gesturing to a newly manifested door frame, which opened into the room on the holodisplay.
“I’ll even let you take the credit for saving her.”“T-Thank… Thank you, doctor…” Chiichuu murmured as the drone he sat atop drifted through the doorway. “Larysa, my dear girl…”
With that out of the way, Nykannis closed the door and let it dematerialize, while the holodisplay shifted to depict Penny Prime. The Monarch of Mad Science had hoped that, by this point, the Queen of Penrose would have
finally returned to her precious city, but such was still not the case. No, the Mechanical Monarch and most of the Penrose Pack were currently gathered in a command center aboard the Bastion, preparing to begin yet another…
meeting…Nykannis’s eye twitched.
“Fuck that.”
You want complete chaos, Queenie? I’ll give ya complete chaos…-Doctor Nykannis, Queen of the Mad ScientistsOne moment, Penny Prime was standing before a holomap of the city she claimed queenship over. The next, the Mechanical Monarch would find herself standing in the middle of an intersection at the heart of said city. However, she would quickly note that it was completely devoid of people, and everything, from buildings, to trees, to sky was bathed in a dark purplish tint, or at least, what little of the latter could be viewed around the
gargantuan, eldritch biomechanical ultra-technomantic craft that blotted out the majority of it. From the great central glowing, yellowy-green eye of this stupendous vessel emerged the giant, holographic form of Doctor Nykannis.
“Nyahahahaha! Greetings, Penny!” the Monarch of Mad Science announced with a broad smile.
“Whatdaya think of The ARGO?! Pretty awesome, right?! It’s my new flagship, the absolute apogee of poly-plenumic warship design (at least for now). In fact, it’s so absurdly advanced, it makes your precious Bastion look like a fucking wind up toy! Anyways, I was planning on doing this after you’d deployed to Penrose out of respect of your unique status among the denizens of this reality plenum, but you were about to start a fucking strategy meeting, and I really didn’t feel like waiting through another one of those things again. In fact, one of the reasons I created the artificial tangental reality layer you’re currently standing in was to facilitate the expedited conclusion of the Penrose Pack’s last ‘super important’ meeting! Of course, the Queen of Tarts managed to circumvent it with barely any effort (as I suspected she would), so I decided to employ it for this little test instead! Nyahahahaha! Now, I know you might be a little bothered by all this,” the mad scientist continued.
“So I want to reassure you that this is all for your benefit. I’m sure with your vast abilities, supplemented by the Grand Magistrate’s favor, you could ‘escape’ whenever you want, but after you hear my very reasonable explanation, I’m sure someone as brilliant as you will agree with my reasoning. And to ensure you don’t do anything... impulsive before I complete my little lecture, I’ve taken the liberty of placing you in a temporal stasis field. Now then, are you familiar with the scientific method?” Nykannis inquired.
Before Penny could respond, the mad scientist continued.
“Of course you are, but for the benefit of anyone following along, I’ll give a short summary. The basic steps are as follows: Observe, Question, Hypothesize, Test, Analyze, and Present Findings. I’ve applied these steps numerous times to various aspects of this reality plenum ever since arriving here, and I’m going to use the first four to explain everything that’s led to the situation in which you currently find yourself, as well as why it’s a very good thing. Let’s begin with Observe. I’ve observed many confusing and contradictory elements inherent to the rules framework of this reality plenum during my time here, but the most interesting thing about them was that almost all of them seem to revolve around you. You are far stronger and more influential than nearly all of your peers, so strong and so influential that events have conspired to always keep you out of the most pivotal battles out of fear that you’d effortlessly overpower every ostensibly major threat, but there’s far more to your uniqueness then that. Things seem to always work in your favor, even if you don’t fully realize it. For example, while the rest of the Penrose Pack was busy fighting liches, you were being spoon fed a minimal-effort upgrade opportunity. And then there was the time you ‘won’ that ass shoving contest. I already knew you were something special, that you had significant narrative weight far exceeding that of your peers, but that was when I fully realized just how far the Grand Magistrate would go to ensure your success. I mean, we both know you were going to win one way or another. Even without the massive upgrade I gave you, your protagonist power was several orders of magnitude greater than that moody edgelord who had to self-harm to pull off her biggest moves. But that wasn’t enough. The Grand Magistrate himself had to directly step in, had to reverse the flow of time itself, something his own rules framework explicitly prohibits, in order to keep Miss Tall Dark and Brooding from possibly beating you!”Closing her eyes, Nykannis gave voice to an annoyed sigh.
“Please don’t misunderstand,” the Monarch of Mad Science continued.
“You’re not the one I’m aggravated with. I actually find you to be absolutely fascinating, Penny, which is why, after observing all of that, I had to ask the Question: ‘Is there any way you could ever possibly lose?’. That, of course, led to another question: ‘If you could be defeated, what manner of creature would be capable of performing such a feat?’. Enter my favorite failure, Finn.”At this, Nykannis held up a mangled and marred
plushie resembling the magical boy in question. Several glowing energy scalpels had been plunged into it, along with a large syringe filled with glowing, corrosive liquid.
“Say ‘hi’, Finn,” the mad scientist instructed, before placing her hand over the plush’s head and giving it a hard squeeze. This prompted a pained wheezing sound, while corroded stuffing and green slime leaked out of the tortured facsimile.
“I don’t expect you to remember him,” Nykannis continued.
“After all, his protagonist power was woefully meager, especially compared with your own. Even so, he expressed a desire to challenge you, for reasons I couldn’t even begin to care about. The important thing was that I could make use of that desire for my own purposes, and so I, along with a few associates, augmented Finn’s abilities to an extent that was objectively far in excess of yours, while also increasing his protagonist power as much as was possible for such a brooding edgelord. I Hypothesized that this was the best way to truly Test just how far the Grand Magistrate’s favor towards you truly extended, and, perhaps even more tantalizing, what might happen if you were to actually refuse that favor. You see, I knew that the ensuing combat could end in several ways, but the two most likely were as follows: the Grand Magistrate, upon seeing you faced with the most credible threat you’d yet encountered, would employ his powers over this reality plenum in the most overt manner to date, or, you would actually embrace the challenge, and show everyone what you’re truly capable of, bereft of the Grand Magistrate’s training wheels!”By this point, Nykannis’s expression was one of manic glee, but it quickly darkened to a look of profound disgust.
“Unfortunately, just before I could conduct said test, all my carefully assembled plans completely fell apart. You see, despite all I did for him, Finn turned out to be a total fucking PUSSY…” Squeezing the head of the plush even tighter, her nails extending into needle-sharp claws that punctured its already frayed ‘flesh’, the mad scientist began slowly twisting its crushed cranium as if it were a dial on one of her incomprehensible machines.
“All that time…” Twist.
“All that effort…” Twist.
“All for NOTHING!!!” With a final violent twist, she tore the head off the plush and cast it away. In the background the sounds of gibbering tentacle-covered creatures scampering over to gnaw on it with their corrosive jaws could be heard, but Nykannis paid it no mind.
“Ahem. As I was saying,” she continued, dismissively dropping the plush’s now headless body to the floor as she did so.
“Since my original test subject was unable to participate, I was forced to enact a contingency plan. I figured if I couldn’t get one ultra-powerful magical boy to challenge you, I’d just have to get several exceptionally powerful magical girls to do so instead! And who better than someone you most assuredly did know and utterly despised?! Yes, I refer, of course, to Oros! I had my old pal Kate photograph the Oros iterations of several different reality plenums, across several different multiverses, and, once she’d done so, I used the data she’d collected to create perfect copies of them, all with enhanced capabilities, and all under my complete command! Nyahahahaha!” With that,
a group of several young women materialized in front of the Queen of Penrose, their expressions ranging from
pensive to
manic.“And that’s not all,” she added, as yet another
figure teleported down from The ARGO, along with a giant, hovering…
toaster…? “Thanks to some particularly interesting data I recently received, I was also able to create copies of some additional Oroses I wasn’t previously aware of, ones that aren’t just cheep knock-offs like Oros the Greedy or Oros the Clumsy! What’s more, with all the data I now had access to, I figured it was the perfect time to try my hand at creating a unique Oros of my own! Nyahahahaha! Meet Osiris!” Nykannis announced as a
woman in revealing, techno-Egyptian attire arrived to stand at the front of the gathered Oroses.
“Or as I like to call her, Oros the Overlord! Every army needs a leader, and she’s this one’s! I just finished unlocking her full potential, and while she may not look any different, she’s got some pretty badass new abilities, LIKE FABRICATING THIS OMEGA-GRADE ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION!!!” No sooner had this been said, then an
enormous gilded obsidian techno scorpion burst into being amidst a swirling vortex of negative matter nanites and techno-mystic energies to loom over the gathered Oroses and the Mechanical Monarch both, with Osiris standing atop it.
“Nyahahahaha! Only the best for you, Penny!” the Queen of the Mad Scientists cackled.
“Now, before I release the stasis field, I just wanna reassure you that you’ll still have full control over all the various copies of yourself you’ve got scattered about, so ya can still keep track of all the other shit currently going on. I know you’re good enough at multitasking to handle doing that, while also fighting against my collection of Oroses. And you do want to fight them, don’t you, Penny? You also want to put my hypothesis to the test, right? After all, this is your chance to really prove you’re everything people say you are, that you’re truly worthy to call yourself the Queen of Penrose. So, come on, Penny! Show me what you’ve got!”The next instant, the stasis field was deactivated, allowing Penny the freedom to make the first move. However, before she could do so, a jagged hole, ringed by crackling tendrils of teal and magenta lightning, was torn in the fabric of reality directly behind her, from which shot forth an
exceedingly bizarre, multi-headed machine, propelled by nova flare hyper boosters and anti-gravity spacial warping systems of the highest order.
“CHOW TIME, YA HECKIN’ TOASTER!!!” a deranged voice boomed with manic glee from the machine’s external speakers as it slammed into the hovering kitchen appliance-esque craft, blasting it with an array of teal beams as it did so, before clamping down on it with multiple sets of energy jaws in an attempt to rend the the equally strange machine asunder.
“Don’t worry, Kenny!” A
patchwork young woman with pink hair told the Queen of Penrose as she emerged from the crackling tear and ran up to stand beside her.
“Uh… I, like, thought it was Jenny…” Another pinkette with unnatural teal skin noted in a stereotypical valley girl voice as she joined the first.
“U-Um, I think it might actually be Penny…” A smaller patchwork pinkette suggested in a soft and somewhat meek voice.
“Well, whatever your name is, we’ve got your back!” Yet another patchwork pinkette declared, giving Penny a wink and a thumbs up.
“Yeah!” A weapon covered pinkette composed of metallic slime agreed.
“Just leave these guys to…”“HOLY FREAKING WOW!!!” A pinkette dressed as a witch exclaimed.
“This is even crazier and cooler than that moon party thing you guys found me at!”“Yeah!” A pinkette with a star-tipped antenna rising from the top of her head agreed.
“It’s, like, totally super gibbous!”“That’s right! Finding her was, like, super crazy! You’re totally gonna love this!” the first pinkette told Penny with a ditzy giggle.
“So, like, when we went to her universe dealie, we were told by this super nice, but also super mysterious, teacher person that she was actually in the universe type place we’d just left!”“Just like two of those camel things walking on either side of a sand dune!” Still another
teal-skinned pinkette added.
“Ah reckon tha sayin’ ya actually want, lil’ darlin, is ‘like two ships passin’ in tha night’,” a patchwork pinkette in cowgirl attire pointed out in a stereotypical old west drawl.
“Well, whatevs!” the first pinkette replied with a shrug.
“We still got to fight a bunch of crazy cool shadow monkey guys, so it wasn’t all bad!”“Yeah, but I’ll bet fightin’ these guys is gonna be way more fun!” A young woman with pink-streaked green hair and holding a giant chainsaw noted with a big grin.
“Oh, it will be fun,” Nykannis agreed.
“For me! Nyahahaha! Zinestine’s even more of an absolute joke than I thought if he seriously thinks this collection of idiots is actually a threat! One of them may have landed the killing blow on the Holy Diver,” she conceded.
“But even so, none of them are a match for the greatest of Aigorost’s champions enhanced by the super-scientific genius of the Mad Scientist Supreme! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!”
BrokenPromise
RPM
Majoraa
Shadow Dragon
Dezuel
Ravion the Red
AtomicNut
Ariamis
