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19 days ago
Current I'm a pretty good writer and former site staff; I still deal with imposter syndrome every time I log on. You're definitely not alone. And t's worth trying anyway.
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19 days ago
Don't worry, D3AD ST4R, most of us feel like that. <33
3 likes
20 days ago
Pretty sure you just described a third of the world's population. Welcome!
2 likes
20 days ago
I just started watching it.
3 likes
27 days ago
I just finished The Secret History, a very Gen X book. Never Let Me Go before that, which I'd recommend to any writer outside the MFA atmosphere who wants to know emotonal restraint.
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argh.

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Gonna assume people are waiting on me.

But I had an idea; might be fun if the crew started having some kind of argument/debate on the transporter pad before being beamed down to Vulcan.

So while the Admiral says, "Report", the crew may not even hear her because they're mid-debate as they materialize.

Any takers?
For whatever reason Brown and Doc's back and forth made me have a giggle fit.
"Because she was a Doctor."

Her head and eyes on the ground, her voice quiet and hurt--Vashara would torture herself for just how pathetic it all must have looked to her CMO and his staff. To the survivors of the Cosmo, Vash was a savior, the tragedy of their cadet cruise surely just the start of her legend. But the incident left Vash irrepairably damaged; she'd lost her best friend, the Cadet XO, and the love of her life, their Doctor and the Cadet Commander of their Squad. Vash lost them both in a matter of seconds, before anyone could blink, let alone mentally register such a thing.

But emotionally processing it? Vash discovered it could not be done. No amount of counseling, no amount of meditation, no amount of anything could help her...except playing the legend. So she got lost in it; the crew of the USS Hawk went from mocking the hype to becoming adherents: with Vash on the bridge, nothing could beat them. Even in the face of defeat, Vash and the crew managed victory. There were dark moments, times when the unresolved pain underneath would turn their legend blackhearted and hateful, her mind replaying the time Malachi Brown watched her torture a Vorta, before murdering the thing in cold blood.

But it was all better for her than facing the truth. That she would not question, not until the war was over. If it ever ended for her.

Her head lifted at the sound of chaos: medical emergency. Worse, it was the CHENG. The young Captain frowned, her voice still soft. "Good luck, Doctor, and thanks." Then the real, hurting, Vash was gone. Replaced by the harder edged voice of the growing legend, her comm badge tapped with the newly repaired right hand--although she paused before speaking, her eyes widening a nano second after her fingertips hit the comm badge.

Ow. "Captain Vaella to the bridge, I'm moving from Sickbay to Main Engineering, with the CHENG down I need to review what we got from the Dominion boat. If the Venture doesn't show up in ten minutes, drop the warning buoys and take off to Vulcan, warp 6." She wanted to say max warp, but after the battle, she didn't want to tempt the Orion with a golden opportunity to break more by pushing it.

And the chaos of sickbay had grown so intense that for once even Captain Vaella could slip out, unnoticed.
<Snipped quote by Ruby>
I didn't know that.

Is it selfish to be pleased about this though? (not the quitting, the sticking around.)

EDIT:
<Snipped quote by Ruby>
So far you're doing great. If anything ever crops up, I wont hesitate to let you know, but so far you're good. +1


lol My RP "unicorn" was always a good Trek game.

So of course one came up as I had one foot out the door. ^_^
And, hey, if I could make this game better by doing less of this, or more of that, with Vash just let me know. In the OOC, in PMs, whatever.

I always welcome feedback, even the constructive kind.
Here being patient.

Although I've "retired" from RP (this is likely my last RP on the Guild), I'm still here for this one.

There go.
Vashara Vaella's temper was frayed. Between blood loss and the sudden shift of her personality, she found herself preciously thin on patience. Truth be told, she never saw the Counselor hop into the turbo lift. Her mind was too far gone. The heart of her pain wasn't her hand. It was the ghosts. The ghost, really. That's where Vash was as she stood in the lift, her weight leaned back against the bulkhead of the lift, head back and eyes staring into the light of the lift. No focus to her gaze. All she saw in those few moments was her Cadet Commander, Cadet Helaena Terys; the young woman's bright blue eyes, and the deep soft tones of her voice.

It was in hearing Helaena's low purr that she finally heard the distant echo of another tone. That was the moment her head moved, and her eyes fell onto the Vulcan in front of her. She missed the first part of what he said, but got the gist of it. She began to speak, before her comm badge cut her off to inform her, and the older Vulcan by proxy, that the Vorta was dead.

"Understood, Vaella out." A beat after the signal was cut the lift eased to a stop, doors hissing open. "Perhaps next time, Counselor."

That was the best she could offer before slipping out the lift and crossing the corridor to Sick Bay. The place was busy. Busier than she would have liked. As gripped by her own injuries, physical and mental, as she was none of it compared to seeing people in her crew hurting, or worse. It was her fault: every scratch, broken bone, concussion, plasma burn, or death. Every single mishap fell on the shoulders of the ship's captain. Helaena taught her that. She taught Vash everything Vash knew about everything.

Everything worth knowing, anyway.

Vash was moving again soon enough, bee lining to a counter along the bulkhead. She moved with intention, and fore thought...and like she knew where things were. Or, at least, where odds are they would be. In less than a minute she had a hypospray and dermal regeneration; the medical tricorder she found under the counter after a search of just a few seconds. Her left hand did everything, including setting the hypospray to exactly the desired medicine, the regenerator set to the side. Three quick "shots" of the hypospray were pumped into her right hand, to reduce blood loss and kill pain. In a few more seconds the pain was subsiding enough to allow just the barest movement of her right fingers.

By that time, a nurse was at her side. Vash ignored her, but still wasn't able to reconfigure the medical tricorder quickly enough to do it before it was too late. Before the CMO was at her elbow, giving her a look Vashara hoped his mother had never been given. Eased and relaxed by the painkillers, a dosage over half what Starfleet Medical suggests, the Captain felt a little more relaxed than she might otherwise be...slower, too. The stoic Vulcan side of her that had appeared after the explosion was now gone, narcotics leaving only Vash once more.

"I have long, jagged, pieces of isolinear data chips embedded into my palm from an explosion on the bridge. I've already stopped the blood loss and killed the pain, but you got here before I could reconfigure the tricorder to emit a micro-antigrav pulse to dis-embed the bits of isolinear chips...but you probably have a more 'Doctor'-y way of doing that. So whatever, fine. Here."

She sighed, it was faint and under her breath, but oh-so passive aggressive. Fixing herself was keeping her mind off other things, like ghosts, and wounded crewmembers. Now the CMO had taken that from her. Now he would take care of her. Vash knew her medical record. She knew multiple doctors in the Academy had labeled her "uncooperative" and "uncomfortable being cared her." She was only glad the CMO had no access to the classified parts of her Medical Record; her recovery from the Cosmo incident.

"Also, hey, I could do this myself if you should be taking care of someone more seriously injured. This is barely a flesh wound, I wouldn't even need to bother a nurse: I did a year of Medical at the VSA and had a minor going in Combat Medicine at the Academy. So, really, I could do it just fine."

Even if I can barely move my right hand.
Hey, sorry I've been AFK without notice. I'll look over what all has been posted and see if I need to push us onward again.


Waiting on me. Just a busy weekend!
I need to post again, yeah?
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