@January Hey ! Thanks. Also, Third Skill tweak confuses me a bit...Basically you are telling me to get rid of the AoE attack and make it a AoE Buff? Also, she takes more damage, or everyone affected does?
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Nyahahameha
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I still need to find Themes and maybe put some colours, but I wanted to give it a start and see if my 'all or nothing' kind of magic / attacks would be accepted? Hehe...
Hello !
Straight to the point; this looks amazing. That depth, those overwhelming information... I'd very much like to try and throw a character at this if you'd be interested to have me.
Crowns are handed down, if I understand things clearly? The 8 main ones mentioned are; Wrath, Joy, Fear, Madness, Disgust, Grief, Contempt and Pride? Of which roles are limited, but only Pride was chosen thus far?
Straight to the point; this looks amazing. That depth, those overwhelming information... I'd very much like to try and throw a character at this if you'd be interested to have me.
Crowns are handed down, if I understand things clearly? The 8 main ones mentioned are; Wrath, Joy, Fear, Madness, Disgust, Grief, Contempt and Pride? Of which roles are limited, but only Pride was chosen thus far?
@Aviaire To me this is fine. Wait for Cat's Ok though!
Kaori was unwrapping the protective bandages around her hands while others walked in - keeping her eyes away from them. It was only when Dean spoke up that their pseudo-leader looked up; "What he said." she simply said, pointing her head towards Sharkman. Other had yet to arrive, but it didn't matter for now. Things were simple enough to follow even if they missed the start of the conversation.
"Don't be so greedy. You'll find your pay as you come back. In case you forgot, we left here last time as a team of 6, not 4. Ripper's gone and transferred to a high security prison. However...we've had info on Sana. She's going to be transferred - Tonight. You guys will break her out before that happens."
Orders. Again. Strange it was that she would give no news and say absolutely nothing about the mission that had done 2 days ago. The facility was destroyed for sure - they had been talking about it for the last two days - but what about Enterprise?
"You won't do it alone. I'm not coming, but I've recruited some fresh blood to help you free Animus."
By the door leading in the gym, three silhouettes quickly passed right past Eira and Renard.
"Well, would you look at that !" launched an extremely cheerful voice belonging to a student with bright blue hair.
"Heroes! In the flesh...Hahah!" as she proclaimed this, she did a small 360 during which she made a 'Peace' sign towards Renard and Eira, winking at the boy.
"Don't look so special from up close..." said another of the three girl. This one was speaking with a lower tone of voice and was a direct contrast to the first one; where her friend was vibrant and colorful, she seemed lazy and wore darker tones. This was also true to their personality, it seemed. The girl had long, dark hair and it was hard to say if those horns on her head were part of her quirk, or just some strange fashion pieces.
In the middle of those stood a slightly smaller student. This one had long, blond hair and looked...pretty normal compared to her friends. She even looked quite shy and clumsy.
"Girls...let's be friendly now..." she said with her low and shy voice - those further away might not even have heard her at all. Students from another class. Whereas Mr. Hayes' students were from Class A, these students were from Class C.
"Friendly? I'm always friendly, silly! Don't you know me ~ ?" the blue-haired one said as she struck a pose with her two fingers making the side-peace sign beside her eyes - then she jumped forward to extend her arm to Gabby, who was closest. "I'm Momo !" she had strange contraptions around her wrists.
"Well, that's Momo for you..." said the taller, dark haired girl with a sigh. "I haven't come to make friends though - especially with this lot. I can feel the defeatism and negativity oozing out of you like..." she marked a pause during which her arms fell back to her sides, obviously not being able to finish this metaphor. "...Well, like something. I don't know why everyone talks of you... it's not like you did much, from what I heard, and you even lost a class member, isn't that right?"
"Erika!" said the shy girl as an immediate answer to those harsh words. "C'mon! Don't be like that...Let's just go, we can train another time...!" she said, trying to push her friend away - but ended up having Erika's hand on her forehead, keeping her away, arms flailing.
"Hey! They're here to train, right? And us too! Can't we just train together ~ ?"
@Nyahahameha Multiple problems here.
1. You say she bends more easily than others, but she also has bones yes? So it depends where and how much you meant. She couldn't twist as much as a snake, let's say.
2. How could she fly? This would mean some exterior force is pulling the strings upward, and I think that's what you meant? I don't know how to explain this but...you said that the strings function like real muscles, but on the outside. I am sure you know that even if you tried, you cannot actually 'Pull' yourself in the air, so I do not know how those wires could? Who's 'pulling the strings' ? Re-read you, it's all good. So she attach the strings to things and pulls from those? Like Spider Man? xD
The rest looks fine, and those two points can probably be worked on to make them possible.
@Pudding OK. So.
Your Sample Post is a bit small and doesn't feel like a post, but you did say you were tired. I checked your profile, I see you're coming back from a 2 Years break.
I like your character design very much, though. I would be willing to accept you as our last Hero spot and give you a shot? Do you have Discord?
1. You say she bends more easily than others, but she also has bones yes? So it depends where and how much you meant. She couldn't twist as much as a snake, let's say.
2. How could she fly? This would mean some exterior force is pulling the strings upward, and I think that's what you meant? I don't know how to explain this but...you said that the strings function like real muscles, but on the outside. I am sure you know that even if you tried, you cannot actually 'Pull' yourself in the air, so I do not know how those wires could? Who's 'pulling the strings' ? Re-read you, it's all good. So she attach the strings to things and pulls from those? Like Spider Man? xD
The rest looks fine, and those two points can probably be worked on to make them possible.
@Pudding OK. So.
Your Sample Post is a bit small and doesn't feel like a post, but you did say you were tired. I checked your profile, I see you're coming back from a 2 Years break.
I like your character design very much, though. I would be willing to accept you as our last Hero spot and give you a shot? Do you have Discord?
@Pudding Right off the bat we have a problem; the Sample Post is obligatory. Sample Post is not Bio, Sample Post is a way for me to know if I accept you or not !
You don't have to write about your character's past. Hell, you don't even need to write about your character, but I included it in it because that is usually what everyone does. In the end, though, I need a Sample Post.
I read the rest real Quick and I probably would need to talk about it with my Co-GM, but to me it doesn't seem like anything else is extremely out of place.
P.S: @Indra @Pudding I have to mention that I am ready to accept only one final player as Hero. Which ever one of you edits first and is accepted can join. It's worth to mention that I might need a new villain soon-ish though, but that is not yet certain.
You don't have to write about your character's past. Hell, you don't even need to write about your character, but I included it in it because that is usually what everyone does. In the end, though, I need a Sample Post.
I read the rest real Quick and I probably would need to talk about it with my Co-GM, but to me it doesn't seem like anything else is extremely out of place.
P.S: @Indra @Pudding I have to mention that I am ready to accept only one final player as Hero. Which ever one of you edits first and is accepted can join. It's worth to mention that I might need a new villain soon-ish though, but that is not yet certain.
@JrVader Too lackluster. Quirk not explained enough, lacks details and potentially way too power just from that very small description.
Sample post is also too lackluster. I simply cannot accept this as it is, still needs a lot more work before that point. Sorry.
@Indra As I discussed with my CO-GM, I quite liked the Spice idea. It's just that how you put it made little to no sense.
Since everything pointed to wanting to have a Hero similar to Endeavor, let me say that; If I had been you, I'd have created a Hero with a Quirk that lets him create some sort of extremely spicy substance in either spray or dust form? Since your character idolized Endeavor, I would have made it so the character was constantly laughed at for his Quirk that seemed so insignificant compared to the number 2, but who keeps trying. It's the perfect under dog story of someone who never gives up, and eventually makes something of his quirk.
Otherwise, going for a classic Fire Quirk, yet blue, is also fine with me if you prefer that.
Make your choice if it's not already done and poke me when you edited your sheet, please. :3
Sample post is also too lackluster. I simply cannot accept this as it is, still needs a lot more work before that point. Sorry.
@Indra As I discussed with my CO-GM, I quite liked the Spice idea. It's just that how you put it made little to no sense.
Since everything pointed to wanting to have a Hero similar to Endeavor, let me say that; If I had been you, I'd have created a Hero with a Quirk that lets him create some sort of extremely spicy substance in either spray or dust form? Since your character idolized Endeavor, I would have made it so the character was constantly laughed at for his Quirk that seemed so insignificant compared to the number 2, but who keeps trying. It's the perfect under dog story of someone who never gives up, and eventually makes something of his quirk.
Otherwise, going for a classic Fire Quirk, yet blue, is also fine with me if you prefer that.
Make your choice if it's not already done and poke me when you edited your sheet, please. :3
@Indra Hey !
That Quirk sure seems original, but I have many problems and confusion about it.
First: Spices have nothing to do with actual Heat, so while I understand the idea behind pairing the two for style, some of the things you wrote makes little sense. To me, he's just another Fire Quirk, but with blue flames. Everything Spice related makes little to no sense, and the MHA universe powers, or Quirks, are built around the fact that they basically have to make logical sense.
Furthermore, keepรฎng in mind that at this point his Quirk is basically just any other Fire Quirk, I also have problems with the moves. Producing Fire or Electricity is a thing but shaping and using it is another. I rewathced Endeavor's fight scene, and he does shape it into balls that he shoots or, at one point, a sort of Javelin - my guess is that it takes load of training to learn to master a Quirk to this level. And he's world wide 2nd Best Hero. The one Move where you are cloaked In flames seems OK, but the two others are way too advanced for a student. He may learn it as the story goes forward, but it takes time to master a Quirk.
Even more than that, the Sample Post is too little too few. I am not talking in terms of length, of which I do not care, but the Quality isn't there. It feels as if it's written Hastily, and it tries to skip over some information which should be described more deeply. It lacks something, and it's not high quality enough that I could accept it as it is !
You can Edit it all, if you wish it, then poke me that I can take a second look at it.
That Quirk sure seems original, but I have many problems and confusion about it.
First: Spices have nothing to do with actual Heat, so while I understand the idea behind pairing the two for style, some of the things you wrote makes little sense. To me, he's just another Fire Quirk, but with blue flames. Everything Spice related makes little to no sense, and the MHA universe powers, or Quirks, are built around the fact that they basically have to make logical sense.
Furthermore, keepรฎng in mind that at this point his Quirk is basically just any other Fire Quirk, I also have problems with the moves. Producing Fire or Electricity is a thing but shaping and using it is another. I rewathced Endeavor's fight scene, and he does shape it into balls that he shoots or, at one point, a sort of Javelin - my guess is that it takes load of training to learn to master a Quirk to this level. And he's world wide 2nd Best Hero. The one Move where you are cloaked In flames seems OK, but the two others are way too advanced for a student. He may learn it as the story goes forward, but it takes time to master a Quirk.
Even more than that, the Sample Post is too little too few. I am not talking in terms of length, of which I do not care, but the Quality isn't there. It feels as if it's written Hastily, and it tries to skip over some information which should be described more deeply. It lacks something, and it's not high quality enough that I could accept it as it is !
You can Edit it all, if you wish it, then poke me that I can take a second look at it.
@Genon Androids doesn't really suit the MHA universe... Every Quirks are related to some form of mutations, true, but I don't think a human can mutate to be born robotic with not-biological body parts.
Unfortunately, I can't accept this Quirk. Plus, even if it wasn't for that, the Quirk itself has too many advantages and the best of all worlds, it's not balanced properly. I suggest reading a Wiki of MHA to inspire yourself from existing Quirks and see the difference in power and design to this one, or even just our CS Tab for inspiration and what not.
@Pudding
Hey ! I've seen your WIP, I'm just waiting for it to be finished before analyzing it and giving feed back. :3
Unfortunately, I can't accept this Quirk. Plus, even if it wasn't for that, the Quirk itself has too many advantages and the best of all worlds, it's not balanced properly. I suggest reading a Wiki of MHA to inspire yourself from existing Quirks and see the difference in power and design to this one, or even just our CS Tab for inspiration and what not.
@Pudding
Hey ! I've seen your WIP, I'm just waiting for it to be finished before analyzing it and giving feed back. :3
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