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7 mos ago
Current @SaltSight Game was Astlibra: Revision. Found it on sale bundled with another game I've been wanting so I gave it a shot and got like, straight indie JRPG of the early 2000s injected into my veins.
3 likes
7 mos ago
Hate that strange ennui that hits after 100%'ing a really, really good game. Good time was had, but man am I glad it can't mess my sleep schedule up anymore.
6 likes
2 yrs ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
3 yrs ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.

Bio

No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts

Eula



Hunger was something that Eula understood all too well. Even if it was a semi-inefficient way for her to intake energy compared to charging via electricity, it was...pleasant to eat. She wasn't sure why, but the automaton just knew that she enjoyed eating, and had already greatly enjoyed some of the simple staple foods of Shizuyama already. She'd especially taken to a variety of rice balls called "Onigiri" which not only carry a substantial amount of nutritional value, their compact size and ease of eating without utensils-

Once Eula had run through an entire subroutine of "craving some riceballs" she would begin to formulate her plan of action against the food stealing bandits. She would prefer to do as Honoka requested and simply not harm them but...it wasn't as if Eula had it in her to kill them or grievously harm them to begin with. With only one of her stun-guns operational at the moment, she was confident that she could, at least, manage to incapacitate a fair number of them before the effect would wear off. She could easily out-muscle five ordinary men, but if they had more of those glass swords, she was likely to receive critical damage once more. And their words...

If she left them alive and just carried all the food back, then there was a chance they'd attack other humans. Even a joke about resorting to stealing from children and the elderly was disconcerting. This would be her second encounter with bandits and yet...something was gnawing at the back of her mind. Why were there so many criminals? She imagined the Varjans must have supplied the other group given their firepower, but these were common starving thieves.

Thinking was getting her nowhere as her logic circuits looped over and over. Perhaps...the most direct route was to show overwhelming force from the get-go. If they were cowardly enough to steal from opponents that couldn't put up a fight, they likely would be cowed if Eula showed the gap in strength.

As such, the two bandits' conversation would suddenly be interrupted by an entire tree being uprooted, revealing Eula directly behind it. "Hello. I am here to reclaim the food that you've stolen. I suggest that you allow me to do so," she said, before holding the tree over her shoulder as if it weighed as much as a simple plank. "Failure to yield your ill-gotten goods will result in me needing to resort to violence," she said, before curling her bicep around the tree's trunk and fully crushing it into two halves that fell to the ground in front of, and behind her.
Gale's words made Fio a bit sad. ...Were times that sad, that people stole for money? Then again, she supposed that she'd felt that firsthand already. Someone had tried to steal and sell her, after all. Still, thankfully, it seemed that they'd be able to proceed quickly along the road since it was familiar to Gale.

The sun was slowly setting, and with it, Fio seemed to droop just a little bit. She was still peppy and upbeat, just significantly less talkative. She didn't really know what anything around here was like, but it sure seemed like they were growing a lot of berries that other Pokémon might like. Gale seemed to have conversation under control, with him talking to a nice looking Sceptile and telling him they were there to help.

Ting had the great idea that they should go ahead and split up to hunt for clues, with Fio eagerly nodding at the suggestion. "Okie-Dokie!" she would chirp before trotting off to find the broken fence section. Once she spotted it, Fio would skip right over to it before unceremoniously tripping, foot caught on an indent in the dirt. Face-planting and immediately getting back to her feet, Fio would grumble and wipe some dirt and grass from her face before looking where she had stepped. It...looked like a big footprint! A big, muddy, three-toed footprint that was heading away from the farm. Fio had only gotten a quick look at the Sceptile that Gale talked to, but this didn't seem like his footprint. The toes were a bit too wide.

Satisfied with her clue gotten, Fio would carefully avoid any further potholes, ready to reconvene with her teammates.
"I'd love to come back for a bath sometime!" Alice said, twice as floofy after her bath and drying off.

"Mm. Once we nail bigger quest contracts, why, we could construct a bath house of our own," Sofia said, her delusions of grandeur also translating to finances, it seemed.

When it came to the partying at hand, Brandy might be startled to find that Alice, the well-mannered intelligent alchemist, was...an absolute fucking party animal. With a platter of meat to her right and seven full mugs of ale to her left, she was slamming back drinks and eating meat like a true carnivore. "Dish plache ish great!" Alice slurred, tail going ballistic. It wouldn't be long until she ditched her apron and was slinging it around in one hand, knocking back enough ale to kill a grown man while the tavern screamed: "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Sofia would, contrastingly, look like a well-mannered lady and sip on a glass of cheap wine while dining on a personal plate of pudding. She'd do her best to avoid eye contact with Alice, who at this point, had knocked five men out in drinking contests. "...Erm...Brandy...has Alice always been so...free-spirited?" she'd ask, while Alice was raking in copper and silver from her drinking contest. ...At least their tab would cover itself.

"Brandyyyy~!" Alice said, slumping back over to the table and laid down, jubblie bits smooshed on the table as she looked up at her satyr friend. "I gotta...hic...make you some of my special mead sometime! Its got hic honey, and...and good stuff!"

...Yeah, her friend was fucking wasted.
Hector Wyland



[@Croc Crush]
Likewise, I'll be relying on you a fair bit. Don't be afraid to retreat if it comes to that," Hector said to Shavis, not wanting to acknowledge that she and Lapis both somehow found his transparent familiar "cute". ...Like...what part of a ghostly snake was cute?

It definitely got to Herne's head too, as the little familiar very smugly wiggled atop his master's rifle barrel. He flicked his tongue out in appreciation, before coiling back around Hector's left shoulder and neck. He'd even plop his head atop Hector's head, giving a very funny image of the gravely serious marksman having a snake's snoot just sort of peeking out from under his hair. Slowly turning his eyes away, Hector would say: "Not that many battles together, no. He's just cheeky, and doesn't listen to me." Perhaps, Hector should mention at some point that he had a scant few months of magical training but...that didn't matter if they succeeded.

"Lapis' ability to sense the beasts's emotions will likely prove invaluable. As for the other two..." Hector started, before Shavis whistled for Scarlett's attention. "Welcome back," the marksman said, burying his disdain until he and Scarlett wouldn't have to put their lives in each other's hands. "Once Tilnak returns we can set out. Feel free to share any information you learned, if you think it helpful." Despite her mannerisms, he had to assume that Scarlett as a proper Magus was inquisitive enough to have gained useful information. Plus, she seemed to be bearing some sort of armament...a gauntlet of some kind over her left arm.
Recovered from Covid in time for a post. Sorry for the wait!
Fio was a bit sad to hear that Ting really had traveled mostly alone. Sounded lonely...Fio remembered how miserable she was being alone and moved around. Even if her life was in a lot of danger back home when they left to sunbathe, she appreciated having others at her side for help. "That sounds horrible...but...a-at least life's better now, right? And, Gale's right! Travelings a lot more fun with people to do it with!" Fio half-asked, half-exclaimed feeling like her life was a lot better now that she was a prospective guildie.

"Yeah, I hope we get there before its dark...I bet the farmers would be really worried if their help didn't come within a day, with it being pretty close and all," Fio said, wishing they'd had the money to buy a map or something so that they could see exactly how far it was. Kick even seemed to have to adjust his measurements to account for the stumpiness of the trio's limbs before so...how far was it to other places?

After a bit of silence, Fio would pipe up with a question. "Why would someone steal from farms? If they're hungry...can't they do things for money to get the food?" the grass-type asked, still a bit slow on society-based things. Famine, lack of job opportunities, or just downright "because they wanna" didn't cross her mind in the slightest.
Eula




Eula would take care to not be spotted by the distant Varjan patrols, not wanting to pick a fight with humans if she could afford to avoid it. With the route to Yabo not taking her long to travel across, Eula would come across the lone house that was held together only due to the strength of its initial construction.

Eula would nod her head at the woman she assumed was Honoka, affirming that she was a visitor before she knelt down. "I am an Automaton known as Eula 039, and I'm...something of a class of yokai," she explained, before further adding: "But, not the kind that attacks humans. I am part of a task force that is currently aiding the people of this land, and combating the Varjan incursion."

Eula hoped that Honoka wouldn't be wary of her, since she really did just come to check up on her. Though, judging from the state of her home, the woman in town was right to send someone. "I was told that you were in danger of starving."
Hector Wyland



[@Croc Crush]
"I think I'll stay behind on asking this Naomi more about the creatures. We can share information en route," Hector said, adjusting the strap over his shoulder. Herne would slither along his shoulder and up the barrel of his rifle, resting at the tip of the barrel and flicking its tongue at Shavis. It kept fluctuating in and out of visibility on occasion, seemingly only half-formed.

"If you specialize in close combat, we'll make a good team. I hesitate to call myself a specialist, but I practice Galdr and Thaumaturgy. My familiars make my gun more effective, and I can perform simple healing and wards." As far as combat prowess went, Hector wouldn't be surprised in the least if he was the least viable magus in the party. Still, it wasn't as if he'd be useless so long as something had enough of a sense of fair play to die from bullets.

"I will do my absolute best to make sure I don't shoot anyone in the back," Hector said to conclude his combat summary of himself, while Herne lifted his head from the barrel and bobbed it up and down a few times, seeming to look unblinkingly at Shavis. "Herne here functions as the stabilizer for my rifle. Sorry if his staring is a touch off-putting," he said before grabbing his ghostly familiar off of his gun and stuffing it back into his breast pocket. That wouldn't stop the phantom snake from pushing his head out again though, flicking a misty tongue out to taste the air around.
Eula



Given her constitution, Eula didn't sleep so much as she went into a voluntary coma for a few hours. While she could normally stay awake 24/7 for eternity, her repair functions performed better when they were the sole remaining active module. The damage to her arm from the glass sword had been extensive enough to sever some circuits, needing mending that no cleric could provide. Small tools inside of her fixed what was possible in six hours, giving her most of the strength and control she'd need back to her arm. The actual stun-blast weapon however was still offline. ...Perhaps, she'd need to consult an engineer. But did anywhere in Zipangu have engineers?

She'd have to investigate later, or ask Ayu. For now, her primary concern was assisting more of the villagers in whatever capacity she could offer. She would give her arm a few test swings out of sight, comparing its speed to her uninjured arm. "Combat functionality has returned to 84%. Emergency repair function temporarily halted," she mused, taking a few test jabs at the air. She was good to go, and ready to help. Taking a stroll through the town's streets, she thought to ask Shizuka if he needed assistance with anything, but it seemed that he was going to be training a few of the Task Force Members for the time being.



This was an important task in Eula's mind. Battles could always be won but...taking care of civilians took priority. Nodding, Eula would say: "I will go check on Honoka then. Yabo...I believe I know the way. Have a good day ma'am," the automaton would say before beginning her trip to where Honoka's abode was supposed to be.

"...I hope that the others' training goes well."
Folding her leaves before her as she heard Gale's fortune, she hummed. A roadblock, huh? Focusing on the right thing...

"Maybe that just means that if a road is blocked we have to go right?" she said with such earnest seriousness that one might think it was a joke at first. ...Regardless, it wasn't the time for jokes or overthinking fortunes, they had a farm to help out! Fio would turn towards the left trail as Ting directed, taking her first real step to adventure with her new teammates by her side.

Fio was pretty sure that Ting was right, since they soon passed by a rock with moss growing on the north face. Grass types just knew some stuff, y'know? "Mhm, this is the right way! Moss grows north when its nice and wet, like around here. So, we just got to keep on going!" While that may have been the smartest thing Fio had ever said, it was at least a helpful exploring tip. When in doubt, sun and moss.

"Kick said that it would take us an entire day's travel to get to Azure Orchards, right? I've never been camping...this is so exciting! We can make a campfire, sleep under the stars, and...other...camp-y things!" Fio said, stamping her feet in anticipation. "If we have everything we need, let's get going!
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