Current
Screw that, get that negative penis, curses you to remove the best sex you ever had.
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2 mos ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
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8 mos ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
8 mos ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.
11 mos ago
There's a great sense of catharsis after finishing a story or fan work that just makes you absolutely cry and wail like a bitch. Like, uncomfortable amounts of crying. But now it feels great!
While Sofia wanted to continue being upset...she did have to admit that Alice was definitely getting the worst of it right now. If even a Revenant like her can practice good hygiene, there's no reason this man can't. Even if he wasn't physically deformed, that attitude was winning no friends over. And to make it all worse, when Alice returned with the new that he basically told them to do the job before being told anything, she wanted to just about scream and call it then and there.
With Brandy going off to investigate, Alice and Sofia would sus out their options between the bog and grasslands. Alice's fur would make the ticks problematic, but without warm blood for them to feast on, Sofia determined she could check it out herself. That and, with her stiff limbs she'd get stuck and sink in the bog, which would be where the werewolf would conduct her search. She wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. Though, when time came for the group to come back together at Brandy's calling, only Sofia would answer. "The nearby grassland is completely fine..." she said, maintaining a healthy distance while brushing her hair free of the debris and potential insect stragglers that had been caught in it. "...Have you seen Alice, actually? I'd have thought she wouldn't be gone too long in that bog to see if it had anything in it..."
That would be because currently, Alice was eagerly picking various fungi, moss, and plant samples and storing them in her bag, surprised at how valuable some of the stuff located here was. "Beggar's foot, Pale Green Moss, and even a couple Dainty Finger Mushrooms!" Alice said excitedly, looking down at her haul.
Race: Fairy (Royal Knight Species) [An offshoot of the usually wistful and carefree fairies that actually have an affinity for combat. Typically this species is seen exclusively defending whatever Queen Fairy employs them, serving both as their bodyguards and personal aids. While fairies are known to be weak, Royal Knight Fairies are akin to hornets, striking in huge swarms with splinter-made swords that specialize in unleashing unpredictable, volatile magical attacks.]
Magic/Abilities/Equipment:
Whimsy Blade: A splinter from an ancient tree, dating back to before man walked the world. This scant four inch steel-hard sword channels ancient primal magics throughout it, being capable of unleashing Wild Magic upon the user's command. While that in and of itself is impressive, the blade itself is as sturdy as the finest steel men can make.
Wild Magic of the Whimsy Woods: By channeling power into her sword Liliana is capable of unleashing primal magic that randomly coalesces into a number of different spells. While she can never choose what spell occurs, she can "Focus" the type of spell, allowing her to use Offensive, Defensive, or Support magic. Though, as for whether that will be a useful spell for the situation is entirely up to the unseen hands of the world (AKA: The GM). The possible spells include:
Fairy Queen's Blessing: A simple enchantment spell that gradually heals a Fairy Knight's wounds while they remain loyal to their Queen, and fulfill their duties responsibly.
Size Trick: A spell that most fairies know but wouldn't tell you about: The ability to grow to the size of a normal human. Mostly unused by Liliana.
Personality: About as bubbly as a person can get, Liliana is every bit the whimsical fairy that one might expect one of her species to be. Beneath the demeanor of the typical fairy however lies the heart of a knight, and one that is devoted to her ideals of freedom for all life, responsibility to one's close friends, and to uphold your word no matter what. However, these two aspects of her personality can often clash...as, really, getting a fairy to do anything but fool around is already a testament to her iron will, but if the task itself is unpleasant or boring, she will make sure everyone knows.
Verbally.
Very loudly.
Background: In a secluded forest, far from the land of Zipangu dwells the Fairy Queen Titania, one of the oldest fairies left within the world. There, nature exists in an untouched state that has, for the most part, shielded its inhabitants from civilization due to the sheer density of the brushlands. It would be faster to burn your way through than to slash it apart, and even then the plants themselves take ire to those that take with fire, repaying them with thorn and splinter.
It is in that seldom-entered place that somehow, in some fashion, a lost traveler was happened upon by Liliana. This messenger sought an audience with Queen Titania and had brought manners of gifts to soothe the aggressive plants of the elder woods, making way without issue even without her protection. It was then that a missive was given from Kyoko to Titania, one which foretold of a need for aid in the far off island of Shizuyama...and, in response, Titania would send the little fairy that had guided the messenger there back with her blessing.
The woods honored their debts. And, even if Liliana was thousands of miles from home, she would never lose heart so long as the greatest of all tree's splinters rested in its scabbard.
Jinko
Aaaand here we have the smol. I'm mulling over a second concept atm, but let me know if this character is acceptable. She small, she flies, and sometimes, summons cows. Tried to make the list of Wild Magic small enough that a simple d6 roll is enough to determine it.
I mean, even if enemies start coming now, that doesn't mean that we're going to stay in the same spot the entire time. Assassin's presence concealment is only scary until he has intent to launch an attack, at which point unless its some super high EX-Rank skill, Celtchar is going to notice him.
Also, I'm just gonna assume that Amon-Ra Archer is King Tut due to the name, but as funny as it would be trying to outrun the sunrise, Celtchar and Scarlett aren't directly by the buildings being toppled like Dominos.
The core issue here is just the lack of...anything, really, in regards to the scene happening. Not even a single word devoted to the world having any sort of reaction, and frankly, being threatened with getting ganked and you saying you're doing us a favor with not writing anything for Scarlett and Celtchar borders on insulting.
Sofia would make a high-pitched scream as she was assaulted by Brandy's (admittedly very good) spooky voice, turning around and blindly shooting an arrow that just barely avoided doinking Brandy's bosom with one of her cursed arrows, instead taking a branch off a tree. And then she realized what just happened.
A pale grey blush overtook her face as she stamped her feet. "Brandy, don't you dare do that again! I-I thought an enemy was around...that's all," the Revenant said, huffing as she turned and walked away to go and investigate on her own, while Alice was left to deal with the gravekeeper.
"Hello sir," Alice said, bowing respectfully to the gravekeeper. "My associates and I have come on behalf of the G.O.R.E. We've heard there's been an issue with something strange going on in this graveyard. You're the gravekeeper, right?"
"What else'd I be!? I'm Vincent," the irritable man-ghoul said, adding: "Ain't nuthin' goin's'on here! 'Cepttin me diggin'. You all git! Ain't need no 'lil ladies prancin' on tha graves!" The man was clearly dismissive of them, and seemed to be in no mood to talk about anything strange.
"Oh, we don't intend to touch the graves, Vincent," Alice said. "But, we'd like to at least take a look around for a bit. At least until its a little later in the day. After all, if we come back with nothing to report, someone else might take the job and come to bug you."
Furling his upper lop in a way that made it seem completely independent from the rest of his mouth, Vincent would say: "Wuzzat? They'll come'an give me bugs!?"
Alice was slowly feeling her patience, goodwill, and braincells dying and as such would clarify with: "Oh, no, I just mean that they'll bother you a lot more than we will. After all, we're just here to see if anything strange really is going on. ...Come to think of it Vincent, did you post the job?"
Scratching his head before finding a tick, grabbing it, and eating it, Vincent would say: "Ohh, forgot! That's right, someone was makin' a ruckus all around at night! Yer dang guild took so long to send someone I dun' forgot!"
Oh. Of course. It was their fault now that nobody wanted to come to the creepy graveyard with the unhelpful man tending it. "Well, we're here now at least. What can you tell us abou-" Alice started to ask, before Vincent interrupted. "I ain't tellin' you's all nuthin' about nuthin' until that job's taken care of! Now git!" Vincent said, before walking off to go...Alice didn't know, stick his shovel in a skull somewhere, or something.
Brandy could see Alice's eye twitching as the werewolf turned around. "...Well, I guess...that at least means we can investigate as long as we aren't in the way..."
Sofia was hiding behind Brandy. "...I'm amazed she's hiding her bloodlust so well. I can tell she'd rather rip that man's throat out than help him," she said, exaggerating heavily as she watched Brandy straighten herself out. Alice would then divulge her plan to have the three patrol different areas while they stayed out of Vincent's way.
Operating as her own Tactical Advisor, Scarlett would give her Alchemical Dolls orders to act on - pushing further into the city towards the skyscrapers she’d seen in the distance. Arranged in various teams, some Dolls were diversionary, wearing her signature cloak to stand out, and pull the witless attention of the Dragon Tooth Skeletons - making way for the infiltration teams, who did not wear their cloaks, so they blended into the darkness better. Dividing into two subdivisions, the infiltration team would work on their own duties, as they went room to room, breaching and clearing, checking, and planting demolition charges upon each level in a staggered rise.
Having listened to the conversation between Elise, Orson, and Archimedes, she could conclude that the cityscape was an empty one, meaning: what she was planning to do was akin to kicking a wasp nest...
“Celtchar, you know anything about lumbering,” Scarlett asks.
"This look like an axe to you? No," Celtchar said, pointing his thumb at his lance.
“Anyone can learn to fell a tree with a blade, even a spearman like you,” Scarlett says, amused, as she squatted, before seating herself on the flat crest of a sloped roof. Further ahead were shops, businesses - a proper vision of the “metro” part of a “metropolitan”, as she left the suburbs behind and the rural district even further to her back. “And, if not a blade,” she snapped her fingers, “Pure force will do.”
As if triggered, the demolition charge started to set off from the lowest point to the highest - a massive, diagonal slice appeared in the side of the building; as if, a phantasmal beast had taken a sudden bite of it.
“...timber...” Scarlett says, as the testament to human engineering began to slough off its ruined foundation, and collapse into the side of its fellow, as tons of steel, concrete, and glass rained down from purely wanton destruction.
Celtchar, as always, would make the masterful observation of: "That is definitely not the same as lumbering! …Anyways, why are we blowing up this building anyways?"
“Someone, or something, is out there. Hiding,” Scarlett says. “It’s aggravating, since everyone is so gung-ho to follow Death into the dark, I thought I would shine some light, and see what scurries out...”
Without much reason to care about Team A’s well-being beyond that being a secondary objective, Celtchar did at least have to say: "I see. Seems like a huge waste but you’re the Master here."
“I am not concerned, if it is seen as a waste,” Scarlett says. “There are two outcomes, and I’m fine with either,” she says, raising a finger, “Either, A: My preferred result of either Team A or our enemy coming out in such a manner that you can sense them, or,” Scarlett ticked up a second finger, “B: My acceptable result, in which this display of force is enough to force the enemy to dig in deeper, and make it easier to assault them from a siege warfare position.”
“Either way, something is going to happen - doesn’t matter to me what,” Scarlett says. “Tell me, Celtchar. If you seek to kill a beast in a forest, would you send in men and hounds, or would you just burn down its forest,” she asks, “Do we not set fire to caves, when we hunt bears?”
"...You’re really asking the guy that’s the ‘man being sent in’ to kill monsters that question?" Celtchar questioned. "But, for me, I’d just go in and rip the bear’s head off myself. Or, find a way to use its cubs against it. There is that saying about bears never attacking those that fearlessly dive into their dens and all."
“Oi, oi, you are such a brute. Not sense of finier at all,” Scarlett says, before hopping up, and climbing onto his back, “See the tree, not the forest. See the rock, not the quarry. So on, so forth,” she says, hugging his neck, “Ready to progress into hell, killer?”
"For my insistent Master? Sure. But when we get back, Chaldea’s food better be worth risking my neck."
“I’ll cook you whatever you like,” Scarlett says.
"Good enough for me," Celtchar said before taking off.
Scarlett nodded, and held on. “Keep trusting in me, Celtchar,” she says, “No matter how crazy I seem, I will always have a reason. Just ask.”
Elise was a bit proud that a magus of Archimedes’ calibur acknowledged her analysis was well-constructed, but she was a bit sad that she was off the mark. "Ohh…so, the heroic spirits summoned here are more like evil spirits now than heroes. Regardless of alignment, I’m guessing." The crimson-haired magus would stretch her arms, having expended far too many brain cells on her analysis without booze to kill more following it.
"I’m feeling ready for combat if it comes to that. Bunbuku, ready to rumble?" Elise asked, preparing one the vials in her back pocket. One of her Strengthening Solution Alphas. It likely wouldn’t do much but give a Servant the equivalent of a Mana Burst, but it might help even the odds if it came to that. "Leon, Mordred’s more of a physical fighter than Bunbuku, so hold onto this. If it looks like she’s being overpowered, this should help just a bit," the potion-maker said, entrusting one of her solutions to Leon, then another to Conner. "Fran’s a bit more delicate looking, but she is a Berserker. …I honestly don’t know if it’ll help her but…hey! We’re mages! We experiment, and all that."
Sort of surfing on her tail upon a cloud of smoke, Bunbuku would yawn, before asking, “What’s in it for me, really?”
"Uh, if I die, then you’ll just go back to the throne. Then, you won’t be able to drink or make tea," Elise retorted. "Plus, whatever aching, tired, super in-trouble Servant is there could use your super special tea."
“They better have the coin to buy it,” Bunbuku says. “My tricks are not free, or is my tea.”
"Here you go then," Elise said, handing over a crisp bill of a single euro. "Of course, I’m assuming I’m getting a Master discount of 99.99% off."
Bunbuku surfed around, and stood in front of Elise. Smiling brightly, she patted Elise’s cheek, “You are so cute, Master. Test me again, and I’ll nuke your face,” before surfing back around, “This will have to do, for now, though.”
Elise would smile back without a hint of fear. "Good to know. Next time it’ll be at least more than one. Depends on when payday is, really. But hey, we could always calculate the exact amount of mana Chaldea is supplying, convert to fluid ounces, and reverse bill that. Anyways, let me know if you prefer yen. Or…would it have been Ryo?"
“You’re such a conniving, crafty bitch!” Bunbuku beamed. “I, truly, got the best Master for me!” she hopped giddy, “Oh, I’m excited, so let’s -- ”
A sudden explosion of sound cut her off, and Bunbuku looked up. “Thunder?”
"No clouds. Must have been an explosion," Elise said. "...Which, knowing Scarlett, she definitely caused. …No clue what she’s thinking but…at least we can assume that anything hostile won’t be heading our way for the time being."
“I can hazard a guess or two,” Bunbuku says. “Most like, she’s presenting a clear and present danger - something that we don’t,” she says, “After all, even with Miss Fancy Sword and Lady Big Hammer, we don’t present a large threat. I would classify us more as a potential nuisance to something that can take out the best of us,” she says, “Actually, no. Potential is generous. In the eyes of whatever removed Team A, we’re gnats, while Scarlett’s decided to be a mosquito.”
"Well, mosquito or not, if she bites off more than she can chew, I WILL punch her in the face," Elise said.
“Have I mentioned, I love you,” Bunbuku asks.
"No. Tell me more later though, because we’ve still got a Servant to find, and a Team to rescue., Elise said.
“Oh, you’re just so sexy when you’re bossy and demanding,” Bunbuku says, before surfing over to Mordred and Fran, “Miss Fancy Sword. Lady Big Hammer. Might I interest you in a drink,” she held a tea platter with two cups. “And, by interest, I mean, implore. It’s in your best interest, if you want to win.”
“After all, would you rather be seen as gnats or mosquitoes?”
Elise’s eye visibly twitched as Bunbuku called her sexy. And bossy. And demanding. "I am NOT bossy. I’m just serious about not wanting to die."
Well, at least Scarlett wasn't getting beheaded today!
Elise would nearly jump out of her skin as Mordred shoved an entire fucking car through a house, the car's automatic burglar alarm wee-wooing away now that it was firmly through someone's entryway. While Mordred was a bit too aggressive with her shoving, Elise had to silently agree that piping up about a True Magic without having the details about it is sort of like...a priest yelling this is God's Will without giving proof. If anything, now it made her even more worried that something on the scale of True Magic was overcome by...something. Or prevented by something.
Conner's statement was also confirming her worries. "...Yeah, this town's...dead. Unnaturally dead," Elise said just before Orson began further explaining Heaven's Feel.
"Oh. I think I have at least a little idea what's going on here," Elise said as she put her hands in her pockets, walking beside Leon. "Director, Archimedes, I've got a hypothesis here. I know we've got no evidence, but...what if this isn't because Heaven's Feel didn't activate? What if this is exactly what someone wanted?"
Without missing a step as she trailed along, Elise would stoop down low and grab a series of pebbles and one large rock. "Forgive me if I'm ignorant, but as I understand it, the grail is a vessel to summon Heroic Spirits from the Throne of Heroes to do the bidding of Mages in a Holy Grail War, yeah?" the magus asked as she closed her hands, opening them to reveal four pebbles between all five of the fingers on her right hand, and three held between the fingers of the left. "Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Caster, Assassin, Berserker, with one or more being switched out occasionally. All to get a wish, right?"
Elise would palm the pebbles all into her left hand, then hold up the larger rock. "Naturally though, summoning the dead from the Throne isn't something possible. The grail's the catalyst and goal, and supplies bodies to the Heroic Spirits, rather than the Counter Force. But that leaves us with more than a few questions." Elise would drop the seven pebbles, and continue holding the rock. "Seven Servants, Seven Masters, and one winner. Someone gets the grail, and their Servant or the Master themselves makes a wish upon it. Then, all the Heroic Spirits go back to the Throne, winner and all. But then, that's if the wish was granted at all."
Pointing at Bunbuku Chagama, Elise would say: "Chaldea's leyline reserves let us preserve our Servants through rayshifting, but an ordinary mage usually has to use up a ton of their own energy, or the energies of others to keep their Servant around. In theory it might be possible to keep one around if they consume huge quantities of mana but...even then, there's no need to consume an entire town. The Mage's Association would step in, I would think. Unless, of course, they were wiped out too in this Singularity."
Tossing the rock in her hands a few times into the air, Elise would then throw it into the nearby river, the "grail" plonking into the water and sinking. "So the grail either still has to be around...or someone made a wish so stupid and reckless that it claimed the lives of every single person in this city. Or maybe, the grail exchanged their lives for something else. Which, I think would mean that Heaven's Feel was triggered, but ultimately didn't 'end' the conflict here." Turning on her heel to face the others, Elise would beam once more. "Anyways, that's just my theory though. I'm mainly guessing some sort of magic was the cause of everything being erased here, since Mordred's Instincts are pretty reliable, I think. I'm not really so good with the complicated magical theories and all that...after all, that's more our Wizard of Balance's job. But..." the smile faded from Elise's face as she straightened her posture, looking in the direction they were heading.
"If we're fighting something that used the grail to kill an entire town, we can't let our guard down. So let's hurry and see if this thing's on our side or not."