Status

Recent Statuses

3 mos ago
Beating your meat is a waste of time, when you can beat evildoers instead.
1 like
3 mos ago
If they just have horns then no. But if they're horny, they best watch out.
2 likes
3 mos ago
Horny people are not protected under the constitution, or the law.
2 likes
4 mos ago
DEMOCRACY IS TRUTH! COMMUNISM IS DEATH!
1 like
5 mos ago
TWO YEARS WORTH OF SEMEN
8 likes

Bio

Yep. Still an asshole.

Most Recent Posts

@Enkryption,@Guess Who
As the slime's explosive prowise was exercised, and the gigantic forest fire was contained, the townspeople would stop running, look at the forest, then at Charlotte, before kicking down the door of a nearby barn, passing pitchforks to one another in an orderly line. "H-Hey um...Sorry about that...I just uh..." Charlotte was saying, just as the villagers started forming a perfect spearmen's formation, a wedge of bodies and pitchforks progressing towards her and Tristan. Put simply, their teamwork was impeccable. And that's why Charlotte immediately ran away, screaming shrilly as spare pitchforks got flung at her. Thankfully for Tristan, she was very good at avoiding the spears, and not in the "Oh here, hold this for me Tristan" sort of way, but more that her footwork was incredibly skilled.

Well, at least he could rest assured that his companion was very, very good at running away. Making a mad dash towards where C-3 in her fun-sized form now stood, Charlotte wouldn't hesitate to scoop her up with her tail, curling the flexible muscle into a seat for her tiny slimy friend. "C-3, we gotta book it! This is bad, this is really bad...they think that I ruined their whole town...I mean, I did, but its not such a big deal!" she whined, on the verge of tears. This was absolutely humilating, a high ranking demon having to run from the buffest peasants in the land, all because a know-nothing hero ordered her to use a fireball that was WAY overkill for a level 1 slime.

"Oh yeah, Tristan, C-3, C-3, Stuck-up-boring hero." she would say, pointing to Tristan, then C-3, then back to Tristan in that order for introductions. "Also aww...yer sho kewt~!" she said, using her free hand to pinch C-3's cheek, the tranquil smile on her face almost being enough to make the group forget the MOB approaching.

@Suku
Meanwhile, the resident failure of "Who Wants to be the Final Boss" contest was quickly finding herself being pursued by peasants that were far from pushovers. In fact, they were a really good form of stress relief, if not for the fact that they seemed to just kind of appear out of buildings...if she paid attention, she'd notice that there were apparently dozens of them capable of just popping out of homes whenever one fell in battle.

From her elevated position however, she would easily spot that the Hero and his explosive companions were heading to the west out of town as fast as they could, towards [New Home Town]. Perhaps she could attempt to ambush them, and catch them in a pincer before they arrived at [New Home Town]?












This is the graveyard where my hopes and dreams wind up. Hope you brought flowers! Or at least some gas to pour on the trash heaps.
@The Irish Tree

Charlotte's enthusiasm quickly drained away, as the smile curled at her lips literally flipped over into a displeased frown. "...Wow, heroes like you are proof that God really does hate the world." she would say, more than willing to insult such a lackluster hero. What kind of crazy asshole could take a life so easily and so quickly, before even doing the proper tutorials!? Regardless, she would proceed to lift her arm up, before a massive fireball filled the entirety of the canopy above them, immediately incinerating the leaves above them and igniting the branches, the heat so intense that rather than starting a fire, it was more as if the treeline itself just withered, the wood turning to ash instantly.

"If it'll get you up to snuff, then sure! One Fireball coming right up!~" she would say as the heat colesced into her palm, compounding more and more until it was a tiny orb of light which she flicked from her index finger. [Fireball.] she would say...

And, for the next several hours, the wildfire would rage on. The livelihoods of dozens, if not hundreds of people in that sizeable hamlet went up in flames that day, as the Scarlet Terror's horns emerged from the fire. With hands drenched in blood, and flames spouting from behind her, the Demoness' visage was a sight to behold as she held up the charred body of Tristan, the hero that Humanity needed, but most definitely deserved a better hero in place of. Running terrified, the people fled, while Charlotte looked confused. "...Hey wait, we need a healer or something!" she would say, running after the fleeing mob, swinging around Tristan's burnt, but still mostly okay body.

Thus would the tale of villainy spread, of the rogue demon that had sought to assassinate the hero and the entire village of [Home Town] in a bid to plunge the world into darkness.

...But hey, Tristan was now level 2! And that's what REALLY matters.

Left running after villagers with a nearly bottomless well of stamina, Charlotte's flaming escape would no doubt catch C-3's and Valkira's attention. Namely that she was getting away, not only without them, but WITH the hero.

@Enkryption@Suku

As the cat man would continue to assuage the rather terrifyingly angry Midboss, he would smell smoke nearby, before the sweltering pillar of heat would be visible, just before drool made of explosives would impact against his back, before he would leap between Valkira and the drool, taking the brunt of it as it detonated. Falling to the floor with a thud, the cat was definitely crispy after that, shuddering on the ground and his fur visibly burnt from the force, his fine, sterling plate shattered to pieces and covered in soot.

But, who cared about him, he didn't even have a name yet. C-3 would most certainly see her "bad influence" currently fleeing town, or rather, chasing those fleeing FROM town. And had the hero carried romantically in her arms, like he was a pretty, boring, charred princess of a man. Valkira may not care especially about the fire, but the fact that her quarry had been snatched away well might.
@Guess Who

Smirking, Charlotte was incredibly pleased with herself at having already sealed the deal with forming a party with the hero. Just when she thought all the legal tender was finished however, she would find herself face to face with yet another contract. "Eh? A harem? You really are getting ahead of yourself. I'd never fall for someone so...dull." she would say, scribbling her name down before flinging the contract behind her. "But if it'll get you moving, I guess I have no-" she would say, just as the Carbon Dragon's Fang impacted. Even if Tristan was nigh unkillable, the force of the blast would still send them both flying...mostly because Charlotte would hide behind him. She was a Princess, not an explosion test dummy!

Flung far into the air, the twosome would be in freefall for a moment before crashing into foliage and tree branches that broke their fall, leaving them both looking a mess. Clearly irate at this, Charlotte shook her fist at C-3. "Hey, we're supposed to FIND the hero, not KILL him!" she cried out. Picking Tristan up off the ground, she dusted his armor off, and licked her index and middle finger before pinching a spike of his hair that had caught fire. "There you go. Now, let's get into those woods and ruin some poor woodland creature's life!" she would proudly say, before charging off, dragging him by the wrist.

One prolonged explanation of how to hit something with a sword later, Charlotte would eagerly await Tristan bashing a poor little slime upside the head. They...looked kind of cute. They had big black shiny eyes, and green bodies that jiggled as they bounced around. They'd occasionally bump into one another and make a much larger slime, but they seemed relatively passive. Of course, after a few million times of being reincarnated, one could guess Tristan was out of sympathy. He'd also note that Charlotte was not even trying to fight them, just kind of pushing them towards him. "Go get 'em Hero!"

@Enkryption @Suku

Meanwhile, back over at the cliffside, the Midboss would find herself suddenly within the shade of a person as they stood over her. "Excuse me ma'am, are you quite alright? That looked like quite a fall." a deep, smooth voice would ask, belonging to the...man? that loomed over her. His grey fur gleamed in the sunlight, as bright as the armor and the lance that he carried upon his person. He was...certainly a thing that existed. Placing a hand over his chest, he offered her a hand. "Allow me to help you up. Shall you need an escort to a healer?" he asked, radiating charisma...despite being a cat. And being roughly two feet tall.

C-3 Would also notice the cat, namely due to all the shiny metal he was carrying. Perhaps he'd have something she would like to eat for breakfast. Or, maybe she just liked cats. Who knew?
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