Recent Statuses

6 mos ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
12 mos ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
12 mos ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.
1 yr ago
There's a great sense of catharsis after finishing a story or fan work that just makes you absolutely cry and wail like a bitch. Like, uncomfortable amounts of crying. But now it feels great!
1 yr ago
Feel no shame about shape, Weather changes their phrase, even mother will show you another way. So put your glasses on, nothing will be wrong. There's no blame, there's no fame. Its up to you.


No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts

Aaand finished! I hope everything is satisfactory.
Doing dandy on my end. Hope everyone else has been well, too.
@The Irish Tree How goes the character building? Don't forget about your secret! If you need help I'm just a PM away.

Its going well enough. Bit stumped on backstory but I always think of something in the end.


Liliana watched, impressed by Io's ability to completely disguise least, as far as her skin and hair went. Did that mean she was some sort of Mamono as well? Liliana had honestly just figured that most wizards were deathly pale from staying inside and reading all day. Still, It was rather impressive to the fairy who had only ever seen her Queen weave illusions. Sometimes, Liliana wished that she could be as multi-talented as their Queen, but...well, Queens were born, just like Knights. Nobody had much control over their station.

With Io's trick complete, Liliana would show off her own and grow to human size, coming up to being just a bit shorter than Io. The sword had grown with her too, showing that it did on some level bear a connection to Liliana's physical state. "I can't change my hair color or anything, but I can change size like this! ...Well, uh...technically I can only change between 'person' size and 'fairy' size. But still, that's a trick I can do without the sword."

Liliana was also racking her brain at the moment on how to explain WHY the sword thought summoning a cow might help. Every time, save for the one that landed on Fatal Pulse, it had wound up being less helpful than any other spell but...maybe there was still a point? "I think the cows are meant to be sort of a distraction...I mean, I know I'd be pretty shocked if I was expecting a big demon to be summoned and its a normal cow. They go back to wherever they came from after a while too, I think." Io might start getting the correct impression that the fairy had either not been explained what her weapon did at all, or wasn't aware of the gravity of randomly teleporting cows to and fro by accident. "Oh, by the way, your hair looks nice blonde. But the pink was nice too. Kinda biased on that color," the fairy said, holding a lock of her own hair and holding it up a bit before releasing.



With their plan confirmed, Eula readied herself for the assault, her hand forming a finger-gun as the series of magical energy bolts formed around her wrist. She could shoot a fair dozen at a time on each hand, but imagined that suppressive fire wouldn't be good with Shizuka in the midst. The best option was an initial blinding barrage of bolts to keep their attention solely on her while Shizuka cut them down from behind. "Mission Commence, Eula said before getting into position. Standing up, both of her arms would now be in their "firing" states, arms held level in front of her as she unleashed a non-lethal barrage of bolts upon the glass-swordsman, making sure to pepper as many of the others as she could with shots before she had to reload.

It was likely that they would make a move once the hail of stunning energy stopped, so Eula moved one hand back to normal, to engage in hand-to-hand if necessary. While doing so, she would announce herself further by projecting her voice, increasing her volume to shout: "Bandits of Shizuyama, you have been accused of ransacking, looting, murdering, destruction of property, and general misconduct. Turn yourselves in peacefully or I will be forced to use maximum force!" Thankfully, there was no rule in her programming that she couldn't LIE to humans. In truth, those stunning rounds were her maximum force. The best she had after that was punching them in the face.

She only hoped that Shizuka was capable of ending this as quickly as he said, otherwise she may be forced to retreat with him in tow. Running the calculations in her head, she figured it was certainly possible given his physiology and weapon level. Still...some part of her couldn't help but be programmed with excess concern at humans endangering themselves.
Hey guys! I thought I could get the update done in time but I simply can't. Too much stuff needs to be done and my birthday's around the corner.

Sorry for the delays.

Happ birth!
Got room for another?
With Brandy's outburst, her allies were now reconsidering whether she was a better fit as a Berserker instead of a Bard. However, now they had to deal with the fact that Brandy was in danger and blinded.

Alice had her own problem to contend with as the zombie before her inched closer, undaunted by the werewolf's below average strength. She inched closer and closer, with Alice trembling as one hand fumbled at her belt, before a bottle of holy water from her belt was launched at the chest of Thelma. In an instant her undead flesh was set to combust, wildly flailing away from Alice and trying to flail around on the ground.

"I-It can't be! Why does a bimbo like you have holy wat-OW!" the gnome shouted, then yelped as a cursed arrow found purchase in his shoulder, the necromancer clearly not the kind accustomed to pain.

"Frankly, I think your constant ranting and raving about women being bimbos or idiots is precisely why you look like you've been more intimate with corpses than you have with real women," Sofia said, dealing additional burn damage from her insult. While the gnome was reeling, Alice would douse Martin in holy water, the two corpses now completely crippled from being afflicted with holy damage. Now, all that was left was their master. While Alice was a-okay with charging in and knocking his block off, getting in too close meant they were in range for his blinding attack.

Sofia however wouldn't stop firing, cackling like mad. "What's wrong, little necromancer!? Do you fear the wrath of the Abyssal Archer!?" In all actuality, Sofia had no idea how to beat their opponent, and was putting on a brave front. That was when Alice got herself an idea. "That does it!" Alice said, before bringing out the Thundercracker.

Sofia stared in horror. "A-Alice, you're going to blow this whole tomb up! Don't use that!" the Revenant warned, before Alice chucked her bomb, directly at the desk where Vreznok was hiding. The thud of the bomb sent the necromancer scrambling away, running towards the door where he'd find Alice waiting. "Move, you demented simpleton! I'll not fall for another of your damnable bombs!" he shouted, moving to cast a spell before Alice just...kicked. Really hard. Right down south. Grabbing the Necromancer by the collar after that was simple enough, since Alice had kicked him hard enough to make sure his family jewels were tucked back in the bank.

With his consciousness fading, Vreznok let out one last misogynistic curse of "bitch" before passing out, foaming at the mouth in agony from his defeat. Sofia would rush to Brandy to help her up, assuring her that they'd gotten the creep with her help. Alice would meanwhile go over and pick up her unlit bomb, smirking as she secured it back in its leather wrappings. Turns out, throwing a grenade with the pin still in scared the piss out of people.

With their fight over, Martin and Thelma would slowly start to dissolve back into corpses, unanimated by their Master after he lost consciousness. Now, all that remained was the standard fare of adventurers...


Vreznok's clearly magic robe was too small but...hey, it was theirs by rights, so maybe it could make a cute skirt for Brandy. Or just selling fodder.

Sofia was insistent on taking his monocle, flashing it proudly while posing with his staff, the likes of which none of the girls knew how to use.

With a tied up and half-naked gnome being guarded by Sofia, Alice and Brandy were free to loot the chest, with Brandy's eyesight restored. It seemed that it was personal treasures of Vreznok that he'd brought with him for magical studies, including a belt of suspicious origin that looked like it had some sort of magical effect, a dagger with a skull on the hilt, some minor alchemical ingredients that made Alice snicker at the necromancer's lack of knowledge on alchemy, given that all he could make with this was a Charisma boosting potion that only worked on Undead, a gold ring with a set of black onyx encrusted on one side, and a small pouch of silver coins. ...Hey, it was probably more than they were getting paid at this point, so it was better than nothing. Brandy might be able to note that there was even a human-sized dress in the chest, for why that was there lead to some rather strange implications on why Vreznok was a necromancer to begin with. But it was cute.

Now, all that was left was to tell Vincent they'd caught their graverobber...and also lie about the tomb already being open since Alice was NOT paying for damages on that old rusted lock that was older than the three of them put together.
Cordelia visibly shrank back in her seat at the Director's threat to unsummon her Servant. She understood and...even if Samson was an asshole, she'd feel bad about him being replaced. Even if someone else might be easier overall, a relatively "sane" Berserker like him was rare, and a lot easier to control in combat than the usual raging Berserkers she'd seen her peers with sometimes.

All she had to offer was silence until Assassin and her Master arrived. Then, she placed her hands over her mouth to muffle a scream. Her Master looked dead, and Assassin had blood on her face...what was going on!? Leaning over the table just enough to just...stare into her soup, Cordelia was hoping that on some level, the soup had an answer. Maybe she'd just feign sickness to get out of this...everyone here felt somewhat insane, except for maybe Reggie, Michel, and...some of the Servants. "...I'm just...going to go along with whatever the Director says, at this point. This is too many twists at once for me." In all honesty, she was really regretting not accepting Michel's generous offer of a dumpling.

Humming, Samson would fold his arms across his chest as Assassin came in, tilting his head and observing her. Mostly her legs, honestly. He wasn't even being subtle about it at a point, before solemnly nodding his head. "Mhm. Yep. Legs." With that absolute nothing of a statement made, he would rest his head against the back of Cordelia's seat. "I'm fine and dandy for Singularity work, but I'm not sure if my Master's up to snuff. She quakes in her boots just talking to mages."

Cordelia...didn't have a retort for that one. Her Servant knew that even that act of "Bravery" to stop his skill was entirely dependent on him just quitting it out of boredom. Cordelia was certain that, out of everyone here, she'd be the one most likely to run as soon as a situation appeared utterly hopeless. "...I...e-even if you're right Samson, I imagine the Director knows that!


Liliana had frankly had enough of fighting many people for one week, and opted to instead continue speaking with Io for the time being. She really felt like they were clicking, the two INCREDIBLY intelligent pink-haired magic users that they were. Io was even listening to her warning about the mushrooms not being super easy to deal with, and asking Liliana for a favor!

"Mhm! Living in the moment is SUPER important to fairies, so I'll be sure to remind you!" Flapping her wings, Liliana would carry her sword on her back and plop down atop a paper lantern sitting on a cupboard. She'd wave at Io once she looked at her. "Remember! Momentai! ...That's what that means, right?"

Thinking for a moment, Liliana would sit up. "Ooh, wanna share magic tricks? I a cow. Most likely. That's been happening a lot more than any other spell for some reason. But I'd really like to see your book at work!" The fairy unsheathed her sword, holding it up above her head. "Oh, I can also do fire-rocks, Magic-breaking fields, and make someone as strong as a giant! ...Sometimes. The sword picks the spell."



Eula had to admit, she wasn't quite sure about taking a human along with her for combat purposes. Not because she doubted in his abilities, but simply due to Mamono being...well, "stronger". Not to mention that her core programming would also mean that if push came to shove, she'd 100% have to sacrifice herself to protect him. But from the way he walked, the muscle definition visible on his body, and the high-quality blade he possessed, she was sure that he was less likely to be a hindrance than she herself was.

Her optics would focus on the man holding the "glass" blade, looking to Shizuka as they maintained position for a moment behind a corner. "Before we begin combat, I believe it is important for me to divulge this Unit's functionalities. Enhanced Durability equal to six-inch steel plating, Polymer-Muscle fiber enhancements to give the punching weight of a bear, and Demonic Stun-Gun," she said, holding her hand out as several "bullets" ejected from her arm silently, glowing a dull purple as the general shape of a tube was made along the length of her wrist from demonic energy. "This Unit is incapable of directly causing harm to humans, as such, you must be the one to eliminate threats if it comes to that. I can, at least, stun them for up to sixty seconds per round that makes contact with them."

Gripping the side of the wall, Eula was ready to vault over it to attract attention, before looking to Shizuka. "I shall create a diversion, and focus their attacks on me so you may strike from behind. Is this course of action acceptable?"
Short post to answer stuff is up.
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