Status

Recent Statuses

9 mos ago
Current If anyone has interest in mechs, tabletop games, and some ungodly mixture of the two, go give Lancer by Miguel Lopez and Tom Parkinson Morgan a shot. Its shocking how fun it is to play it.
1 like
1 yr ago
Sun Tzu once said: "If you or your loved ones have contracted mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Call the toll-free number on your screen now to see if you qualify."
8 likes
2 yrs ago
Beating your meat is a waste of time, when you can beat evildoers instead.
1 like
2 yrs ago
If they just have horns then no. But if they're horny, they best watch out.
2 likes
2 yrs ago
Horny people are not protected under the constitution, or the law.
2 likes

Bio

No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts


Alice felt good, thinking that she really did just perfectly explain chemistry to her mentally lacking friend. Also, Francoise was like...way too cute, once he was calm and relaxed. With gentle hands she would scritch his poofy hide, even if he was a turd, he was a very good dog once all his energy was used up. But, naturally, all good things had to come to an end as she was reminded that Mrs. Elmwood was going to probably beat them to death. So afraid was Alice of the consequences that she was visibly shaking, face pale. "Aaa-aah...yeah...we still have to...talk to her..." she said, clearly freaking out before she slapped her cheeks. "No no no no! No running! We're gonna go there, and we're gonna tell her that we're sorry, and that Francoise had a great time, and that he got a good bath! A-And honestly, I'm more scared of Ms. Bavaloure, so we'll deal with Elmwood."

Once she had risen and Brandy was no longer being obscured by conveniently shining vertical shafts of light, Alice would bring the pupper of sin to the doorstep of Elmwood, which was thankfully devoid of angry housewives and butchers. With lead feet and her stomach somewhere near her soles, the werewolf would knock on Elmwood's door.
Steppe Archer appreciated not having to sewer dive again more than the two could ever know. Like, ever. Seriously. But, there was the remaining question of just what to do with all this free time left on this afternoon. While the proficient huntress would offer to go do some hunting, she doubted that a druid would support hunting for sport. Even if she was certain that with Big Red's help they could get a massive haul, she respected the druid enough to not suggest going off to skin animals for fun. Not like she did it for fun to begin with, mind you, but she knew that noblemen hunted for sport, often wasting some perfectly good animals just on virtue of the fact that they could.

"We could train. But that's not really 'fun', more just something so we don't waste the day. We could like...just talk, I guess. Maybe get to know each other better?" The nomad girl was frankly very unused to things outside of her steppe socially, used to, generally, having a bunch of girls her age with similar interests and similar background to chatter with. The druid girl was a girl, and knew things about nature, and that was about where their interests stopped meeting. Big Red was a survivalist, but was also a whole other species and gender than she was used to. So, maybe just chatting would do them all some good, in a way.
Expressing tentative interest in here!
A long, long bout of silence followed the archer girl being told that those herbs were basically worthless since every alchemist had them. One could almost see her soul trying to leave her body, feeling like an idiot for wasting an entire afternoon traipsing around the woods, avoiding stepping in dung, all for herbs that nobody needed. The thud of the archer's head against the table signaled that she understood how much of a colossal waste of time that all was.

As the druid came to realize that the literal only quest available to them was to kill roaches, the archer righted her head on the table, chin pressed down as she said: "Do noooot...seriously! Its not gonna work out good. There's rats as big as my head down there, the roaches have diseases, and if just one bites you it can be a disaster! Its better for people with full armor to do, but trudging around in sewer water in armor is gonna be awful too." Marching over and standing beside the druid, the archer would wiggle her fingers on her left hand, adding: "Me and Big Red would be fine since he's got a thick hide and I've got lots of padding, but if you got bit it'd be over like that!" she said, emphasizing with a tickling pinch of the druid girl's tanned side.

With her quirky demonstration over with, the archer would go back to the table and sit down, looking at her bag of herbs. "...I don't wanna lose another party I like because of some dumb bugs. I'll pick as many herbs as it takes, and sleep in the cold if it means we can go a day without wading through poop to fight bugs," she said, hanging her head a bit. She was still shaken from how Guard Lady, a woman who seemed so much stronger than her, just...collapsing and vomiting after a few bites from roaches. From disease. From a damnable plague that they were being told to go exterminate for copper.
Within the realms of Infactorium, there was an office that was scarcely used, mostly since high level PCs kind of had nutso resistances and could hold cursed items like it was nothing. In it dwelt the little black dragon without any purpose to break things, and, in that little black dragon's programming was a simple 9 to 5 job that mostly involved her sitting at a desk, clicking a pen, and waiting for someone to give her something to punch. The oblivion facing the world at hand was something the players knew, but to the binary code that constructed the mind of the factory managers, it would simply be as if they never existed at all. ...That is, until a creaking groan echoed from above her, causing a massive tile of her ceiling to come off and smack her in the head, flooring the poor dragoness before a pipe descended after her, pinning her down by her torso.

Sighing, Levia Vishap would reach into one of her pockets and pull out her carton of cigarettes, only to find, after furiously shaking it up and down a few times that it was empty. In order to answer complaints about the game promoting smoking, the item had been shadowbanned to only have one charge per 8 hours. "UUUGHHHH...THIS SUCKS! First nobody needs anything broken down, then my office is falling apart, THEN I'm out of my healie sticks! This sucks...I wanna go to bed...am I being fired? Is that why my office is crumbling?" the dragoness whined, kicking her legs childishly while rubble piled atop her. Looking up at the hole in her ceiling, she couldn't help but bite her lip. It was...unfair, really. If she was getting a pink slip, that just meant she was more useless than ever. Maybe they were adding some cooler, more effective facility.

It sucked, it was unfair, she didn't get paid enough, her butt hurt from sitting, and she really, really just wanted to go home and cry...at least, until a signal in her head called for an emergency meeting. Emergency meetings only called for active employees. She was being called for. SHE WAS STILL AN ACTIVE EMPLOYEE! With nothing more than a shove the pipe atop her went flying, before one of her enlarged scaled hands engulfed it, crushing it in an instant as her sharp teeth meshed together into a toothy grin. "THEY NEED ME TO BREAK SOMETHING! THAT'S IT!" she screamed, cackling wildly as she dusted off her coat, a piece of debris about to fall on her head being split as her tail wagged ferociously.

"Don't you worry whoever pushed the button! I'm comin'!" the ditz of a dragon screamed out, before her mouth erupted in green light, a thin jet of green liquid soon coating the wall to open a hole up. By the time she'd realized she wasn't fired, the door had been blocked by debris and thus, she had to make her own exit. And she would thus make many exits as she tore her way through the crumbling facility, acid drool leaking out of the corner of her mouth as she cut her way through rubble and metal like an excavator made of fists and acid. Of course, once it came time to enter the room that Faetalis was in, she would wipe her mouth, clear her throat, and enter calmly and slowly, tail smacking the door to the point of almost sending it off its hinges as she entered. "Lady Faetalis! Did you summon me for the disposal of a Class 1 Hazardous Material? Or maybe a Class 2!?" she asked, unsure, until she saw the state that her boss was in.

Her tail drooped, her larger arms sunk, and her head swiveled around hurriedly. "I-I'm gonna go get Gammaton, you wait here lady Faetalis!" she said, before freezing, shivering, and lowering herself to a kneel before Faetalis. "I apologize. I-I didn't mean to give you orders my lady. Please, forgive me. Barring that, punish me once we treat your wounds and- I just did it again. I'LL BE BACK!" With her bumbling apology finished the dragoness would begin tunneling her way towards where she had a feeling Gammaton might be. Hivehill needed his management currently, so she had no doubt he was trapped in there with his workers, trying to tunnel a way out. She'd slow her acidic and kinetic assault on debris, just to make sure she didn't accidentally decapitate the workers trying to reach the meeting.
@The Irish Tree

I realized I didn't put a bio in for GrillBears, Gammaton's creator, and I hadn't realized GrillBears interests overlap with NotEvenHere's until just now. Does Levia have her own factory? If not, then since you mentioned Levia's home was in the 'animal pens', and the Pits of Hivehill were intended to function as such, you would be more than welcome to have Levia live in the Pits. The Pits were also intended as an experiemtnal breeding ground, so maybe GrillBears and NotEvenHere were collaborators in the past?


I'd be down with GrillBears and NotEvenHere being collaborators. And, I'd probably still want to say that Levia has her own office for breakdown of hazardous materials, but she can definitely bunk in the Pits. Her and Gammaton can even have bunk beds!
Alice wasn't exactly shy when it came to seeing other people, so Brandy stripping wasn't weird until she thought about the fact that this was also where the dog was bathing...and, in the midst of her thinking about that, Francoise would suddenly grab her by her own collar and dunk her in, the werewolf alchemist flailing as she weakly paddled, emulating a perfect doggy way of swimming as she shook her head. "Nn...now my clothes are all wet..." Alice bemoaned, before getting assaulted by licks that, much to her chagrin, had the girl giggling.

Getting tickled was a strange experience for Alice, who promptly let out a high-pitched almost hyena-like laugh as tears welled in her eyes. It seemed Brandy had found her greatest weakness. The laughter would continue all the way until Brandy asked her questions, at which point the werewolf would deftly splash some water in Brandy's face to distract her, before counter-tickling both her sides. "I just joined last week, to be honest. I learned how to make all this stuff at the alchemist guild. The detergent though is SUPER simple, how you make it is you take three parts #@!@*(*(@#(%*&^, six parts (>|"""{)*&@#^!!, grind them finely in a powder and slowly add in some alkaline, and then you have super-stain-fighting detergent!"

Brandy, god bless her soul, likely didn't have the IQ necessary to process the amount of syllables in those words, but it sure sounded like stuff that could cause an explosion. Upon noticing that Brandy's jubly bits were kinda just...there, and exposed, Alice looked over to where her pack and Brandy's stuff were only to see Brandy's lightweight clothing start to lift off. Hurriedly paddling over, Alice would move her alchemical oven over to rest atop Brandy's stuff and turned it off, the decently heavy weight making sure that nothing blew away. Now sitting on the river bank and relaxing a bit in the sun, Alice would wash away the mud and grime on the town's sheets like it was nothing at all, a feat that would make even Brandy realize she was pretty experienced with chores and cleaning.

Once that was settled and the sheets were hung to dry, Alice would wait for Brandy to get out, dried, and dressed. Then...it was time to face Mrs. Elmwood.
At hearing that there was likely no work left at the guild save for chasing down vermin in the sewers, the archer's back slumped a bit as she remembered the hideous roaches, disgusting rats, and literal plague down there before she waved her hand dismissively to say: "I uh...think I'll have to say no to us taking on sewer work. They've got roaches down there the size of me. It sounds stupid, I know, but someone I was adventuring with nearly died down there!" The girl protested her hardest until she just deflated a bit, realizing that beggars couldn't be choosers, and just hoped that they could take the day off after their long adventure. Despite being raring to go to work, she wasn't raring to go wade through crap for less copper than they just received for their doubled efforts.

The girl would aimlessly look around, unsure of what to do for a good bit of time before something seemed to catch her eye. "Um...I'll catch up with you two at the guild a bit later. Need to take care of something," the nomad girl would say before suddenly running off to towards the gates of Palisade. She seemed transfixed on something, but was, in fact, looking for something in particular that she'd seen when they were tussling with the boars a few days ago. With her hunting prowess it would be a simple task to maintain her sense of direction in the woods around the town as she hunted not for animals, but for the Pipini herbs that they'd used to treat the unfortunate red-haired adventurer.

The druid girl had said they were used in simple healing potions, so the archer figured that she could grab a fairly good number and sell them to an alchemist for some extra coinage. Despite the urgency with which she seemed to depart the girl would return to the guild bright and chipper, leaves and twigs in her hair and a sack full of herbs tied at her hip. She hoped that her lizard and druid friends would appreciate her gathering all those herbs, since they could probably make enough coins that they didn't need to trudge through a sewer for money. Seriously, Palisade was so small, how did its sewer get so...monstrous!?
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