Status

Recent Statuses

1 yr ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
3 likes
2 yrs ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
2 yrs ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.
2 yrs ago
There's a great sense of catharsis after finishing a story or fan work that just makes you absolutely cry and wail like a bitch. Like, uncomfortable amounts of crying. But now it feels great!
2 likes
2 yrs ago
Feel no shame about shape, Weather changes their phrase, even mother will show you another way. So put your glasses on, nothing will be wrong. There's no blame, there's no fame. Its up to you.
4 likes

Bio

No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts


Liliana

@Enkryption, @AzureKnight


”Hiiii Ian!” Liliana said, squeezing herself free of Alice’s bosomy prison, while the sword on her back glowered at Carroll for a moment before huffily turning away…strangely now sitting vertically against Liliana’s back. Like it was glued to her. ”Is that what that was? Healing? Ohhh,” Liliana said, before flittering around Shizuka. ”Phew, that’s a relief. When I left I was sure you were going to **** and **** and then **** her right on the ****.” Liliana said, each R-18 word blocked out by a flock of seagulls. Of course, what she meant to say was: “Hug and snuggle and then kiss her right in the mouth” but comedy demanded a punching bag.

And today, that was Shizuka.

Liliana didn’t know at all what had transpired for most of the events preceding, but did know that Alice was oddly chipper about being lead stroke on the boat. ”Hi-Ho, its off to Hama we go!” the chipper fairy said, before picking up Whimsy. As if sensing the little fairy intended to use it as a paddle, the sword promptly pricked her thumb with a thorn, causing the fairy to wince and just pick up an oar. ”I wasn’t gonna Whimsy! I swear!”

Eula




There was no nice way to tell the monk that he had indeed been assaulted and robbed, so…Eula would do her best to explain this while not utterly shattering his faith in other mamono. ”I’m truly sorry but…that is exactly what happened,” the automaton said, lifting her sack of coins and placing them in the monk’s hands. ”I do not know how much was taken from you, but…I want to make it right. I should have stopped those two but I hadn’t expected…them to harm anyone,” Eula seemed genuinely remorseful, looking down at her empty hands. ”I understand you may hate yokai now. But…please, believe in me. I will help you with whatever quest those two promised, without payment. I cannot sit idly by while people suffer. And…I know that prank must have been to alleviate the boy’s worries.”

Standing, the automaton would outstretch a hand to the monk, an offer to help him up in spite of all that had happened. ”Much like humans, there are both good and bad in the hearts of yokai. …Please. Let me show you what good we can do, working with humanity.”” It was a longshot. Relica and Kerry had failed to keep their tempers, and now, Eula couldn't blame the monk if he lost his. But all she could do was try. People needed help.

They…needed her. Didn’t they?
Eula




And so, the conflict was postponed. Kerry had the good sense to leave so that the surroundings were not damaged, leaving Eula alone with the frightened villagers. It was over until Eula faced her again but...

Right now, Eula had other concerns. No doubt she'd be viewed as a traitor for going against Kerry, a senior, so...maybe it would be best to not return at all. The automaton resolved herself to this if need be, and would instead enter the house the monk was in, and would rustle through her own pouch. A small pouch of coins, cinched in a violet sack, would be laid down before him. Next, she would repair the superficial damage done to several houses, whether that was caused by Kerry's winds or not, and await the monk's awakening. In all likelihood, the villagers would still fear her for her association with the other "yokai", but...she had to believe in the monk.

He wouldn't call for help and walk to and for for a simple joke. The prank had been to alleviate the seriousness of the situation, especially in front of a child. Even a machine could tell that it wasn't the conclusion to whatever job Kerry and Relica had undergone. And so, Eula would wait for the monk to awaken after sitting him up outside of the house, seeing as the inhabitants of said house probably wanted their living space back. Eula had nothing anymore. No coin, no backup, and only one arm to fight whatever problems the Monk had away. ...But, it would have to be enough. She would make certain that the task force's reputation wouldn't be completely ruined. She HAD to succeed. As for Kerry...however that would work out was a detail for a later time.
Liliana

@Enkryption, @AzureKnight,


”...Why would you pour blood, sweat, and tears into making armor? Those don’t make metal hard…w-what else did you put in it!?” Liliana asked, growing pale as she slowly backed away from the rainbow knight. Was…was his armor made of rainbow doodoo!? And it was all someone else’s!?

“Oh hey, thanks,” Liliana said, forgetting all about the poopoo armor and giving a radical thumbs-up to the knight, before the fairy shrinked back as Alice started stamping and raving, going full soccer-mom mode! …What was soccer? Anyways, Liliana would fly behind the rainbow knight and hide behind his shoulder, quivering. “U-Um, Lady Alice, please calm down! There’s no need to escalate to full-on managerial yelling! I’m sure you’re here for some really important quest with the fate of all of Shizuyama in the balance, r-right?”

Little did Liliana know, Alice was “that kinda bitch” that really did just run to have a beach episode all on her own to escape from a very attractive grandma. How audacious!

Meanwhile, Whimsy would continue clashing without wounds against Carroll, their steel bodies causing each to merely cast sparks off of each other.


Eula

@Rezod92, @Xaltwind


Everything was-

Everything is-

[CRITICAL ERROR!]

[CRITICAL ERROR!]

EvERythING wAS…

A machine carried out its duties without question, without compromise, and admitted failure and ceased operations when that failed. Binary. Zero, one. One, zero. Failure, success, yes, no, right, wrong, right, wrong, right, wrong, error, answer, answer, answer, answer!

When Eula came to her senses and saw the monk on the ground, saw Kerry walking away with the man’s coin, and saw the fear in the young boy’s eyes as he eyed the last remaining yokai in the room…

Something broke inside of her.

”Laguna! Stop!”

“...Redundancies must be eliminated, Europa. You know this. Fundamentally, humans are lesser creatures. First them, and anyone the Masters deem as inferior.”

“That’s not true...those people…you wouldn’t kill them all! What did they do to you?”

“...I...Europa. Europa. Europa. I can’t see your face any more. So…”


Directive 1. This Unit cannot seriously harm or kill a human being, unless directly ordered by their Designated Master and given Level 6 Clearance. Unit must also attempt to protect humans if they are in danger.

A human was in danger.

A human was harmed.

Directive 1 must be completed. No matter the cost or damage sustained.

With a look of reluctant resolve in her eyes, Eula would turn to the doorway and raise her arm, before firing a bolt of demonic energy that sailed past Kerry’s head, precise enough that she would hear the buzz of its energy whizz past her ear. A warning shot. ”I don’t know a single thing about you, Kerry. But I do know that money belongs to the man who tricked us. Return it to him, or I will have to make you return it.

Eula looked deathly serious, even for an automaton. There was anger in those glass eyes, smoke coming from the hand that had just fired, and an unwavering sense that she wouldn’t back down. Reaching for her damaged arm, wrapped in a sheet, Eula would tear the sheet off entirely, exposing the damaged arm and shakily curling it into a fist.

”You will only receive one warning. And only one warning shot.”
Posted. Bow in awe of Cornelius' square tomatoes and oblong melons!
Cornelius Bojangles

Interacting with: Joe Bob, Townsfolk
The Bridge/Hearth Town Square || Walkin' and Sellin' || Peachy Keen!


“Market Day, Market Day! Gonna show off my goods on Market Day~!” A lanky figure sang, traipsing down the road, and rattling his decrepit wheelbarrow across the wooden bridge that spanned across Hearth’s river. Off at the market, a solitary crow took a peek at the stalls before flying off, coming to perch upon the aforementioned wheelbarrow. “Caw!”

“That so Joe Bob?”

“Caw.”

“No! Mrs. Madelaine did NOT say that! And in front of her pigeons?”

“Caw.”

“Go figure!” The figure said before the crow dived straight into his shirt and vanished. “But at least I reckon I can sell these little wild crops for some fertilizer,” Cornelius thought out loud, his lack of good tools and fertilizer meaning that his crops were a little…well…

There was a squash that was curled in on itself, a bundle of green onions that had flowered, a couple of small melons that weren’t perfectly round, and somehow, a square tomato. “…Well uh…someone might just buy ‘em for laughs, but these suckers will taste good!” Cornelius said, still proud even in spite of his bizzarro crops. “Hmmhmhmhmhmmm, Market Day, Market Day~” he sang, his wheelbarrow bouncing a bit on a cobblestone, just enough to send the strange curly squash tumbling off of the cart and rolling off the bridge and into the creek below. Whether that would become food for the kobold below the bridge, or bonk the knight down there, Cornelius would be none the wiser until he actually got to the market and set up his stall.

Charming words and an award-winning (sewed-on) smile only counted for so much when folks were mostly laughing at the strangely grown crops that Cornelius had brought. Whereas once the villagers had shrieked and ran away at the prospect of a scarecrow taking over the abandoned fields, but now it was just...an oddity. A perplexing neighbor that meant no harm, but didn't exactly do much. After all, how could a scarecrow grow crops when they stand around all day?

"Boy howdy, this Market Day is going swell," Cornelius mused, running his leather-gloved straw fingers over the few coins that he'd managed to make.

@The Irish Tree feel free to add Cornelius up to the CS tab!

His skills are a bit peculiar, let me know your thoughts and if there's anything apart of your concept you'd like included beyond this, this is a first pass:

Astral Weakness I
Birdbrain - Telepathy wth the murder of crows living inside his head. While they sometimes have a mind of their own, they tend to do what Cornelius says and have a very high bond with him.
Statue - when standing still, appears to be an ordinary scarecrow. This can still look out of place in the wrong location, however.
Weathered - receives no adverse effects from being stuck in bad weather. Visibility remains complete.
Construct - does not technically require food, drink or sleep, not that he is out prevented from simple pleasures.
Storage - Cornelius can store things inside his body, much to the chagrin and delight of his crows. The things he stores may have peculiar effects on him, however...
Endless Straw?! - Cornelius can pullout seemingly endless Straw from his sleeves. This does cause him to slowly shrink and his clothes to become baggy on him, though. He can be reconstituted by having his straw - or new straw - reintegrated.
Wayfaring - Plains
Detect - Pests
Frighten
Ignoble Magic: Earth, Lesser
Ignoble Magic: Nature, Lesser
Fishing
Buoyant
Identify - Seed
Identify - Needs (Plants)
Creature Taming


Seems good to me for skills! The image of a very small Cornelius is crapping me up from how Endless Straw works.
Reposting here, hiya!

@The Irish Tree ok he's so perfect for the setting, what a sweet little bean with his dream of a toupee ;_; I was wondering whether I'd have to relegate farming to NPCs.

also crows are super intelligent so there's alot of fun there.

Feel free to add him up to the OOC list and we'll work on his skills there. I love he has max vitality, I'm curious what your aims for that were? I imagine standing out in the sun and rain would have caused it, but don't want to miss anythin on his skills


Roger roger! And, yeah, I figured his maxxed out vitality is due to him being more of a construct than a person, and the fact that scarecrows never really take "breaks".
@The Irish Tree we're pretty full, I think it would depend on whether the character concept filled a niche that wasn't currently represented. What are you thinking of playing?


A funky farming scarecrow!

© 2007-2017
BBCode Cheatsheet