Enkryption — Roleplayer Guild

@Anza

Alright, so I don't see anything that lunges at me as a problem with Michel - had a bit of a gut reaction to seeing his EX Rank Quality, but that is well and balanced by his E Rank Quantity. Interesting bit of overlap with other Masters, as well, which is a plus.

His Minor Magecrafts are harmless, and his Major Magecrafts are pretty unique.

My only curiosity is: why not a unique Mystic Code?

Beyond that, I like him, and he's good to go in my book.

As for Fu Hao, again, nothing that is flagging up warnings with the character and her Skills. I like that her [Oracle] Skill affords her synergy with Chabi, while her [Tactics] Skill plays very well with Robin Hood's [Subversive Actions] Skill.

Like her Master, she definitely gives off team player vibes with the overlap, and I dig it. 

The only thing I can really pick issue with is the vagueness of her Noble Phantasm. I would suggest, for the sake of consistency, making a small list - like, ten items that she'll draw on most often. Otherwise, she has a small-scale combination of [Gate of Babylon] and [Unlimited Blade Works] to just pull whatever works out of it.

I'm not against her using it to pull out a Deus ex Machina (sparringly, mind), but that's much more up the alley of a Caster, and not a Lancer - feels more reasonable, to me, if she's pulling blindly from a warehouse, and doesn't always get the perfect tool for the job.

If I was to do it, it would be a list of 10 Items, with #10 being "Deus ex Machina", and you just roll a 1d10 to draw, say, 3/Singularity while keeping your 1/Singularity to allow Fu Hao the right of summoning Mala Mala Jong to kick ass.

All in all, I like Fu Hao. I just need her NP to be a little more defined to its not able to break a scenario - you saw my list suggestion. Beyond that, she's good to good overall.
@The Irish Tree

Since you asked, I've reviewed Samson's Skill. Aside from tidying up a bit, there's nothing overtly wrong with any of them. Samson is Diet Hercules, so he's going to look a bit overpowered on paper, but his glut of weakness keep him balanced in a way that Mr. Nine Lives, Twelve Labors Merkules is not.

Personally, I would shorten and tighten up [Vows] to read a bit quicker to the point, I feel that [Aptitude] is just fine, as is, and [Destruction] is fair on the grounds that you're able to best on Sabres, Lancers, and Beserkers in one-on-fight-me-bro combat, but Archers and Casters have you at range, while Assassins and Riders can hit-and-run you.

I would say, however, you Noble Phantasm should be a Trigger-type that only functions whenever Samson's hair is cut and he's at his weakest point, because that plays better into Samson's strength being the core of his character, and you have have the Noble Phantasm regrow his hair in acknowledgement that he was gifted a second chance in that temple to overcome his foes - could even have [Destruction] only come into effect once his Noble Phantasm is activated, as that truly was Samson's final act.

Just a thematic detail that comes to mind.
@Silverstein, @SSW

Pretty much what Rez said.

My sheets are all set.


Basics

Name: Michel Hahne
Sex: Male
Alignment: Chaotic Balanced

When the nameless child was found washed up on the riverside one moonless night, the local police thought they’d encountered a ghost. They could find no trace of him in their records, no evidence on the scene that might point towards his origins, and none of their efforts to communicate yielded a single word from the pale and wide-eyed boy. Unnerved and confused, they hastily arranged for him to be taken in by a nearby orphanage, not wanting to keep him around any longer than strictly necessary.

It was easy to see why. The child was odd, never speaking or engaging with others but always staring at them wide-eyed with a deep and ravenous curiosity. He didn’t listen to directions or follow anyone’s schedule, but only wandered wherever he wanted, sometimes showing up behind locked doors or in places that should have been too high for him to reach. Most of the staff wanted nothing at all to do with him, but one particularly dedicated worker took it upon himself to try and speak to the boy, persisting until ‘Michel’ finally learned to repeat and reply. Now that a line of communication had been established, it was only a matter of time until he began to integrate with the other children, though strange happenings would persist around him for several years after that.

By the time he was finally placed with a foster family, he seemed almost like an ordinary boy. Sure, he had his head in the clouds half the time, and didn’t seem at all motivated by the concerns that drove the people around him, and often caused great offense with his incredibly blunt manner of speaking… But altogether he was able to live a simple life, going to school every day with his peers and struggling with his studies just like everyone else. He often wondered about his origins, and the half-remembered images of the distant past, but was never able to find any hints that could lead him closer to the truth.

If it hadn’t been for Chaldea, that might have been the end of it. He could have lived a simple life, barely knowing anything of magi or the Clock Tower or any of that. However, when an agent of the organization scouting for Master candidates happened upon an old rumor about a boy washed up on the riverside, they decided to investigate further. What they found was an opportunity that couldn’t be missed: a natural-born prodigy, someone whose inner energy was connected with the outside world such that his entire body formed a single, unified magic circuit. Not a mage, but rather the kind of person who could create Mystics just by existing, often without even being aware of it. 

Normally such individuals were quickly snatched up by Eastern magecraft organizations, but Michel had been missed, blending into the local population without ever understanding or harnessing his potential. Jumping at the chance, the recruiter immediately offered him a position, and Michel, realizing that this might be his best chance at ever finding answer, willingly boarded the aircraft that would whisk him away to a hidden facility in Antarctica.

Magecraft

Magic Circuits Quality:EX
Magic Circuits Quantity:E
Magical Affinity:Water
Attribute:Breathing and Walking

Minor Magecraft

Breathing in Water“Drowning? I’ve never really understood why people worry about that. Do they hold their breath because they’re scared?”
To him, there is no difference between breathing while submerged and while aboveground. The ‘method’ is the same either way.
Charges: No limit

Walking on WaterPut one foot in front of the other, and stride across the surface. What would be considered a divine miracle by some is just as easy as breathing for Michel.
Charges: No limit

Connection to the WorldHe naturally absorbs the ambient mana around him, and his physical fitness and stamina are abnormally high because of this. The higher the density of magical energy in the environment, the more capable he becomes. 
Charges: No limit

Major Magecraft

Walking Through SpacesTo step out of one place and into another, without regard for the distances or barriers in between. With enough training, it’s even possible to reach the Reverse Side of the world. In Michel’s case, he’s still a novice in this area.
Charges: 10/Singularity

Painting the SurfaceBy drawing upon images from within himself, he can bring out parts of his mental landscape to overwrite the world around him. It’s nowhere near the scale of a full Reality Marble, but more like a small patchwork—a fragment of terrain the size of a building at most, and often just a few square meters. The exact form of it differs each time and depends on Michel’s current state of mind, meaning he can never be quite sure what will come out.
Charges: 5/Singularity

Speaking the World's WordsThe ability to communicate with Spirits, absent any special methods. He can speak with everything from Wraiths to Nature Spirits to Gods and Elementals that have not incarnated in a physical body, though he typically needs to be aware of their presence first, and there is never any guarantee that they will agree or cooperate with him.
Charges: 10/Singularity

Cleansing the SoulWith just a touch, he can purify malign influences from a person or a place. Mostly this includes mind-altering effects such as Charms or magical sleep, but it can also extend to greater ‘impurities,’ such as recurring nightmares or evil spirits. With its full potential, it becomes possible to destroy ancient grudges completely, or cleanse a Servant that has been blackened by the mud of a corrupted Grail.
Charges: 5/Singularity

Primary Mystic Code:

Mystic Code: Chaldea

The standard Mystic Code available to active Master Candidates at Chaldea. It’s a uniform that allows even those untrained in Magecraft to use basic abilities such as Healing and Reinforcement.

Non-Magecraft Abilities

The Perfect Method for Breathing and WalkingThe key to all of the abilities listed above, but not a Mystic in and of itself. Michel is simply able to control his own breathing and move without any waste of energy, making him a natural talent in technique-based physical activities such as archery and martial arts.

Drawing and PaintingHe studied art in school. One wouldn’t call him a genius, but his skills are definitely above-average for his age.

Cooking and BakingThese techniques fascinate him, and as one might expect he can easily learn to handle any kind of exotic utensil. The problem is… His tastes are a bit… Well, he gets a little overexcited sometimes.



Basics

Class:Lancer
True Name:Fu Hao
Master:Michel Hahne
Sex:Female
Alignment:Lawful Neutral
Attribute:Man

An ancient warrior-priestess who led armies across China in the Age of Gods. Coming from a small and nameless tribe, she became one of many wives to the powerful Shang king Wu Ding in order to secure a future for her people. The king had many wives from political alliances, and could hardly show dedication to them all, but Fu Hao’s ambition would not allow her to languish in obscurity. By consulting with ancestral deities through oracle bones, she was granted visions of events to come, and used this knowledge to oversee bountiful harvests and repeatedly offer immense tributes to the Shang. Before long, Wu Ding singled her out as one of his most favored consorts, and elevated her to the position of both high priestess and military commander.

For many, her rise to power was proof enough of her worth, but to Fu Hao it was only the beginning. With more than ten thousand soldiers under her command, she took to the field and obliterated the Tu-Fang in a single battle, instantly putting an end to a conflict that raged for generations before her. Now the most powerful general of the Shang, she proceeded to beat down neighboring kingdoms one after another, refining her tactics along the way and perfecting the art of the ambush on an unprecedented scale. To the king, she remained a trusted advisor and uniquely talented shamaness, overseeing the most important rituals and securing the aid of gods and ancestors alike for her nation.

Yet unfortunately for the Shang, her legend would not last forever. Exhausted by repeated wars and heartbroken by the death of her only son, she proved unable to resist when sickness came for her and stole her away from her king. After her death, sixteen human slaves were sacrificed to honor her burial site, which was built not in the royal cemetery but on the same lands she had so carefully cultivated during her rise to power. In the years that followed, her tomb would become a place of prayer, where Wu Ding and his future lineage came to seek her advice and blessings in their wars against the enemies of the Shang. The dynasty would later fall, and future lineages embraced new philosophies that downplayed and dismissed the role of women in war, but even so her name would be remembered for thousands of years as a warrior without equal in her time.

Parameters

Strength B
Agility A
Endurance C
Mana B
Luck D
Class Skills

Magic Resistance ACancels spells of A-rank or below, making her virtually untouchable to any modern magus. The high rank comes from her position as the preeminent shamaness of an entire kingdom from the Age of Gods: generations of ancestral spirits stand ready to protect her from any magical assault.


Personal Skills

Collector CA skill given to those who gather and seek out all manner of treasures. During her life, Fu Hao sought out artifacts from dynasties even more ancient than her own, so that she could better understand and communicate with the ancestral spirits. Allows the user to identify items of unique note or potency, such as distinguishing a Noble Phantasm from an ordinary weapon with a mere glance.

Oracle of the Shang CThe ability to predict and calculate possible futures through the use of oracle bones. This does not grant perfect foresight, only fleeting visions that she interprets to identify threats and opportunities lying in wait. Due to her not being summoned in the Caster class, the rank of this skill is lowered from its original level.

Charisma BThe skill to command an army and maximize the abilities of allies in group battles. Fu Hao led armies from the front and worked hard to raise the morale of her soldiers, while her role as a priestess made her an influential political figure.

Tactics B+Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized, granting a bonus to one’s own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm and a resistance against those of the enemy. This skill gains an additional modifier when launching a surprise attack against enemies who have been lured into a trap.


Noble Phantasm:

Fù Hǎo Mù: Memorial Temple of the War Goddess
Rank A

“Even in death, they still won’t leave me alone… Well, I suppose I can make the effort just this once. Fù Hǎo Mù! Come to my side, and I will lead you to victory once more!”

Type:Anti-Army
Range:1-2
Effect:
The tomb where she was buried and the edifice that once existed above it, sublimated as a Noble Phantasm. Fu Hao was laid to rest among hundreds of weapons and artifacts, treasures that represented all her greatest achievements in life, and which would carry her memory through untold ages long after she had turned to dust. As a Servant, she can draw on any of these items at any time, producing varied weapons, magical artifacts, and divination materials at a moment’s notice. Once per Singularity, she can release its True Name and call upon the full force of the magical energy stored within, bringing out her entire collection and merging it into the form of a gigantic warrior that shadows her movements in battle.
@Anza

I will look at this after I get off work, and have a written up thing ASAP.

Enkryption Member

Enkoded For Your Safety

Status

Bio

Most Recent Posts