The funny thing about flying was how indistinguishable it felt from falling.
Quinn Lloyd had never had much impulse control, he wasn't wired right and he knew that. He had figured this out in the freshman year of highschool when he'd started pounding down beers nightly and waking up with little memory of it. It hadn't meant much to him at the time but as the years went by and the headaches got less frequent, he started to wonder if he had a problem. Of course, while
lacking the impulse control to stop, he wasn't even sure he wanted
These days his life could be pretty hectic, between juggling jobs and trying to make it to
those jobs, he scarcely had time to tackle scary thoughts like "what would I be doing if I wasn't drinking?". Although in the past, those thoughts had been quickly put to rest by his assurance that he'd never
stop drinking and thus the vicious cycle continued. It continued and it continued until he got so dizzy trying to imagine tackling it that he usually gave up on the thought process altogether. ADHD could be a bit of a bitch when it came to that sort of thing.
He had spent that night crashed out in a hotel room, face buried in his pillow and his arm haphazardly slung over the frame of the blond beside him. It was a familiar sensation, to be crashed out somewhere with someone, less familiar was the anxiety settling over him when his eyes opened.
For a moment, all he saw was the darkness of the fabric against his face before he pushed himself up on his arm and-- yep, still feels like I did something horrible.
It was not the first time Quinn and Tiffanie had ever tangled, although it had never been an overnight affair. Except for last night. He had maybe been a bit too drunk or maybe a bit too bold and they had wound up at a motel room where things had… escalated
. He never felt entirely okay with himself after excursions with Danny’s cousin, mostly because… she was Danny’s cousin and he considered Danny to be one, if not the only person, in this world who he didn’t hold any sort of grief with.
He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to get his hair out of his eyes.
As if sensing that her companion had woken up, the blonde next to him began the slow process of waking up herself. “Good morning, Quinnie!”
Tiffannie cooed in a sleepy, singsong voice, scooting closer to the curly-haired man to give him a fleeting kiss on the lips before nuzzling her face into his chest. “Did you have a good sleep? I know I had a good sleep. You wiped me out last night!”
Quinn had never been a morning person, he was far more prone to drinking into the early hours of the morning and then sleeping until the late afternoon sun forced him out from beneath the blankets. To say that her chipper greeting had caught him off guard would be an understatement.I am possibly the worst best friend around.
He thought grimly. ”It’s way too fucking early to be that full of life.”
He responded, blinking owishly against the light in his eyes. It was an answer enough to the question, at any rate, he never
slept well. “I don’t suppose you know where my cigarettes ended up.”Routine called, after all.
The girl beside him pulled away just enough to shoot him a dirty look. “Probably in the same place that your good humor ended up,”
Tiffanie snapped, her luscious lips puckered up in a bubblegum pink pout as she turned over to give him her back. She would’ve thought that Quinn would be in a better mood considering the amazing time they had spent together. Waking up to him being nothing short of rude and ungrateful
something she had been expecting.“I-”
He stumbled over his words for a moment, not that it was terribly uncommon for girls to get fed up with him when they spent too much time with him. “It’s too early for that too.
” He responded gracelessly, aware of how utterly grouchy he came off.
Tiffanie looked over her shoulder, pouted and glared at Quinn again and turned back around.
After a moment of consideration, he tried again, maybe a bit gentler. “I’m sorry, I’m fucking exhausted.”
Is that nice? I can’t tell.
He wasn’t really cut out for the touchy-feely after-sex shit. He didn’t exactly know how to break that to her nicely. “I’m glad you slept alright.”
Now, that’s nice, right? Right?
He couldn’t exactly see himself getting up any time soon, so he reached over the edge of the bed and felt around for any sign of his jeans and his missing cigarettes.
Although she wasn’t ready to forgive his initial unlikable remarks so quickly, the fact that he caught onto her displeasure and attempted to make amends did earn him back some of the points he’d lost. Letting out a dramatic sigh, Tiffannie rolled around in bed to face Quinn again. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
she asked, looking up at him with big, blue doe eyes.
He eventually found his discarded jeans over the edge of the bed and very shortly after he also found the package of cigarettes in his pocket. Bingo
. Sometimes a crippling addiction wasn’t so bad when it meant that he almost never went anywhere without his cigarettes. He gave the pack a shake to check the damage, noting that there were probably three or less in there. He didn’t exactly look forward to running to the corner store on the way… well, not home
, it was unlikely he’d go home after this.
Tiffannie had turned back to him but not before sighing loudly. This was also not all that unfamiliar when it came to people spending excess time with him. He swiftly opened the pack of cigarettes and fished one out before letting it drop on the bedside table.
She was speaking to him again, not that the silent treatment had lasted very long. “I-”
He started to speak and stopped himself for risk of coming off rude again, she was being nice
, he didn’t always
have to be such a dick in the morning. He was just naturally that insufferable. “I’m good, Tiff.”
That was said, maybe less agitatedly. He was a lot easier to deal with when he had a cigarette in him. “I’m not used to uh- us spending the night together. Haven’t quite picked up on your morning habits yet.”
This was drawn out with an amused undertone, as he fumbled with his lighter, stuffing the cigarette in his mouth and taking a long drag. “And you haven’t had the misfortune of dealing with mine. Jesus Christ, what better way to convince a girl to come back then by snapping at her first thing in the morning?”
The playful self-deprecation was familiar, at least.
That last sentence immediately perked up the slender blonde. “So you’re saying you want to spend the night with me again?”
Tifannie asked, an excited little smile playing around the corners of her full lips as she shifted around to rest her head on Quinn’s stomach. Tiff was well aware of the feelings of guilt that often plagued her lover after one of their entanglements, so to read between the lines and assume Quinn wanted to do this all over again certainly made her happy. She thoroughly enjoyed being his one weakness over and over again.“God-”
This was not great, he knew he was messing up. It would be one thing if he could just be upfront about all this with Danny, but he’d gone and went the shadiest roundabout route he could with it. He took a long drag on his cigarette, exhaled the smoke and sighed through it. The glance he passed Tiffannie was lingering, he knew exactly what he’d meant and so did she.
Fuck, I really am transparent.“We’ll see what happens.”
It was a yes
. A vague one. Still viable. “We really shouldn’t, but impulse control hasn’t gotten me very far.”
Tiffannie shot him a cocky smile. “This is the part where I would say I’m sorry, but I’m really not,”
the young woman confessed, propping herself up just enough for her face to be inches away from Quinn’s. “I like playing with you too much…”
she murmured seductively, letting her words hang in the air for a few seconds before pressing her lips to his.
Tiffannie knew that going around her cousin’s back and sleeping with his best friend at any chance she could get was scummy at best-- especially considering him and his family were currently keeping her safe from some psycho housewife all the way back in LA. But the little peach wasn’t known for being the most upstanding young lady, or for having a lick of shame within her. When it came to Tiff’s approach to life, the girl was like Ariana Grande’s ‘7 Rings’ song: I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it
When she kissed him, he pressed his free hand to her cheek and kissed her back. The taste of his cigarette was still heady on his breath and it was still burning away in his other hand, clutched between his fingers. He had never really had the required impulse control not
to make decisions like this, part of that was the ADHD, the other part was probably just his childish and reckless desire for attention.
Attention and drama kept life from becoming tedious, didn’t it?
He ran his fingers through her hair, leaning into her a moment before breaking the kiss and giving her one of those roguish half-smiles. ”You certainly like proving that, don’t you?”
Baby Peach nodded eagerly. “Always,”
she drawled, leaning forward for another long, deep kiss.
Eventually, Tiffannie pulled away from the kiss, and allowed herself to sit still in content silence as Quinn smoked his cigarette and played with her hair. As much as she enjoyed having the freedom to pick and choose who she was intimate with and not being tied down to anyone, she had to admit that this actually felt quite nice. The steady rising and falling of the young man’s chest, the feeling of his fingers running through her hair-- even the lingering smell of the cigarette smoke (an odor that normally had her wrinkling her nose in disgust) added to the comfort of it all.
Now, Tiff wasn’t a stranger to post-sex cuddles; though most times things ended with a simple goodbye, or a farewell brunch date before parting ways if she was lucky. But there was something different about what was currently happening between her and Quinn. Maybe it was the familiarity of it all, or the fact that he was the one guy she’d been hooking up with any chance they had for a few years now. Whatever it was, laying down with Quinn like this made her feel so happy and safe
... And that was… Concerning.
Before her brain even had the opportunity to start venturing down those unfamiliar roads, Tiffannie decided to put a halt to it. “I guess I should get going, then…”
she said with a sad sigh, slowly rising from the bed and purposely making a spectacle of stretching her body in front of Quinn. There was one last thing she wanted before they parted ways until the next time, and it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what it was.
He was admittedly much calmer by the time the girl rose to her feet and sighed in that all too world-weary sort of way. Tired or not, Quinn was usually better after a smoke-- more affable, at least. He hadn’t minded just sharing her company for a while, which was… a problem in the making
. He didn’t usually overstay his welcome with people he had sex with. One and done, as they say.
He paused to watch her, about to speak but not quite sure what to say. The logical thing would be to send her on her merry way and try to sort through his own lingering guilt before checking out of the hotel. Quinn was not terribly logical. “Wouldn’t hurt to catch a shower before you headed out,”
he said suggestively, the hint of a smile on his mouth.
Tiffannie flashed the lanky man a mischievous smile. Jackpot
. “I guess I could do that… But it gets so lonely in the shower when I’m by myself…”
she sighed dramatically, giving Quinn that little pout and puppy dog eyes she knew he couldn’t resist.
A laugh escaped him despite himself and he pushed himself to his feet. It was a terrible idea on top of terrible ideas, if he was already going to hell then he may as well have fun doing it. ”I’d hate for you to feel lonely,”
he responded, voice light with amusement. ”Come on.”
As he took the giggling blonde’s hand and dragged her into the shower with him, he thought about how he really
despised himself sometimes.
But it wasn’t like he could despise himself more