Avatar of Vilageidiotx
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    1. Vilageidiotx 10 yrs ago
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6 yrs ago
Current I RP for the ladies
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6 yrs ago
#Diapergate #Hugs2018
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6 yrs ago
I fucking love catfishing
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6 yrs ago
Every time I insult a certain coworker, i'll take money from their jar. Saving for beer would never be easier!
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7 yrs ago
The Jungle Book is good.
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@Vilageidiotx

Wow. That would be almost half of my country' population - maybe will trim it down a bit.

How many percent would you think would live in the urban areas then?


Should be only about 15-20 percent

<Snipped quote by NecroKnight>

As a passing note in German imperial administration: the German Empire recognized the rule of internal kings up into and through the First World War up until the Empire's dissolution and transformation into the Weimar Republic. So if you want to somehow manage to claim that Hurt finangled his way into being called "King in Africa" in much the same way the Kaiser was at the same time "Emperor of Germany" and "King in Prussia" to make him distinctive from "the King in Bavaria" it'd be possible.

I say this because frankly the land claims are fairly large, notably larger than most major kingdoms. But it's up to Shyri.


I doubt they'd do that. Bavaria and Bohemia were special political circumstances in that Bavaria had been a Kingdom and was restored in that right by Napoleon, and Bohemia is an ancient Kingdom who's elevation to Kingship has roots in Catholic tradition. I kinda thought that making it a Duchy would be pushing it but figured we could let it in for flavor, but the Kaiser making an African colony into a Kingdom would be waaay out there in outer space.
@Vilageidiotx

Hmm. Since urban life is more prosperous and wealthier - how big would the Yoruba/Duala percentage be? Would they constitute maybe 25% of the total population? 45%?


I'd suspect they won't be much different than IRL. The Duala aren't a big group, but they are well placed, so you're looking at maybe a half million people there. The Yoruba are a pretty big group, 20% of Nigeria, which at this point should mean eight million.
@Letter Bee

Read it up. Sounds a bit like communism in my regard.

@Vilageidiotx

Interesting. So your suggesting - that I divide up my lands a bit, so they in-essence - form multiple confederations. In essence, 'restoring' many tribes to their lands - but some tribes having better access to goods than others?


Not quite that drastic. You'll probably want to divide it into administrative divisions like any other country, but not into a full federation.

What I'm talking about is the de facto operations of the society itself, not it's de jure constitutional makeup. You have areas along the coast with meaningful German minorities who live relatively well, surrounded by natives groups (Yoruba in Lagos, Duala in Douala) who have access to at least a middle class lifestyle and therefore tend to be conservative backers of the German government, though any modern reformers or leftists would come from this group as well as a result of education. The rural parts of you country would be traditionally governed, not invested in the government and economic life of the country, and not especially germanized. These people would be nominally part of your state, providing the manpower in the agriculture and raw resource economies, but they'd still be living traditionally for the most part and wouldn't be especially loyal.
@Vilageidiotx

Well, as I mentioned in my sheet. The ruling Duke took that idea and made it almost national policy.

Namely the Nigerians being the farmers and Cameruns being the industrial.

Although, he set certain ports in Nigeria - while set up banks in Camerun...as well as having the military be mostly in the Kamerun region.

So yeah. Kamerunians might have power - although it is more subtle. Since Duke Hurst made it - so one side wouldn't suddenly go mad on the other - since he needs both to prepare for the Afrikan Kaiser...or that was his plan.


Those are the European border divisions you are talking about, I mean you want to pick favored peoples out of the native cultural divisions.

Your native collaborators are probably going to be the Duala people in Kamerun and the Yoruba in Nigeria. If you drop the Islamic north that'd make sense, but if you decide to include them you'd need to work out some special relationship with the Emirs up there.

Either way, you can't afford to reign heavy handed like a Colonial government, and you won't have the white muscle to force Apartheid policies like Rhodesia. You're gonna need to have African confederates, but in order to do that and maintain German cultural dominance, you'll need to make sure that those confederates are only some of the native peoples, since bringing all native peoples into equal status government would be the end of white control. Gotta play Germans on top, allied tribes just a little below that, and the rest down on the bottom.

Natural that means your hinterlands should be politically messy and hotbeds of dissent and ill rule, while your coasts are the gleaming Neues Deutschland that you want it to be, with African beer halls and cool shit like that.

I don't mean to sound pedantic btw. All these details seem irrelevant on the surface, but believe me, paying attention to them will make your nation feel real. Plus it gives you shit to write about.
@Vilageidiotx

0_0. Humm. Checked this out - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countri…

Jumping weasels on the back of a monkey. I think I might have to give Northern Nigeria (the more Islamic part) up - perhaps as a 'restored' region. And namely make due with Cameroon, Togoland and Southern Nigeria, also parts of France Gabon. Which...ohhh...boy. Will bring my population up already to 15 million. Yeah, I think - having a mandatory bread & circus + mandatory improvement of the local population a must.

Especially, if I had done it without much homeland support.


The useful thing you'll have going for you is that the natives in your country won't necessarily belong to the same culture. Here's a cultural map of Africa that might be useful (warning, it's big). Imma put this map in the Character Section 0th post where we have a lot of reference material stored up. Anyway, playing these groups against one another, perhaps favoring one or two in co-government with the Germans, will give you a boost. This was a common tactic among European colonizers. One of the most infamous examples being the Belgian use of the Tutsi's as co-rulers in Rwanda at the expense of the Hutu, which created the foundation for the Rwandan genocide later on in the nineties.

Also, weird request, but since you plan on taking southern Nigeria, make use of Port Harcourt. I just say this because Port Harcourt was an important place during the original PoW and it's nice seeing the old haunts make a come back. Not as you capital of course, that'll be either Doala or Buea.


@Vilageidiotx

Alright. I had in mind creating something is opposite of an apartheid. Namely since my 'Duke' in question - never had the manpower or support of enough whites to create an Apartheid-like system.

Is that reasonable?

(I have always imagined, what would a colony look like - if the Administration wasn't a bag of dickweeds on the locals and actually didn't smash the aparatus when they left)


It'd be reasonable. Numbers would pretty much require you to bring natives into the process of government.
I got three questions that I might want an opinion on:

1) How large would be the white minority (aka Germans) in West Africa? Assuming that it has had about twenty years of relative peace and prosperity.


Pretty small. One hundred thousand would be pushing it. Historically the Germans really didn't do a lot of African colonization, so you aren't necessarily looking at a population like Rhodesia. To get to a number like 100,000 you're going to do some fancy math, like implying some people fled to Kamerun after the war and that there were generous land offers to the soldiers who fought for the Germans there. I say this because the historical white population of Kamerun was 1,643. You might also have a small British population in Nigeria but it looks like colonial Nigeria only historically had enough whites to fill administrative posts, and I suspect they would have left or been chased out after German occupation.

So yeh, you're going to be in a tight spot. Probably won't be able to be as harsh as Rhodesia. You'll want to do something like bring Christian natives into the fold and made them equals in government in order to keep the balance.

2) is it okay if German, started out as official language - is mostly nowadays used only in politics and perhaps in the upper echelons of the military and business? Namely banks. Also the white population.


Yes, though official doesn't mean everyone actually speaks it.

3) Since it's 1960-ish - have most of the colonial powers managed to hold onto their colonies? Or have they mostly fought against their colonial occupiers and later turned into dictatorships?


Most have broken away. That's been our policy since it helps clean up the map, gives us more countries to RP, and avoids the problem of flakes taking up massive Empires and doing nothing with them.

It seems as though @asuraaa has been absent for quite some time so I'll work around the bio. Reading through @Vilageidiotx's options, I feel as though option 1 1/2 is a little better. I'm altering the history a bit with the Algerians recognise they need a little bit of help trying to get their country up and running with a modern economy and standards, even if it was with the help of the imperialist bastards who took them over. Instead, these fair religious nationalists want another establishment of an Islamic Caliphate but do not forcibly convert people who are staying as long as Islam is the main religion in the country.

I want to take the stance of a more moderate Islamic takeover, with more emphasis on creation of an Islamic Caliphate with a caliph at their lead but with more Algerian nationalism. They have more ties to the Arab world but still recognise their somewhat significant presence in Africa.

Basically I want an excuse to play a modern Caliphate with moderate Muslims at its lead. I just found it quite interesting. Any thoughts or contradictions before I move on to making a CS?


Hate to be a bummer but I'm not sure it'd be sensible for them to claim a Caliphate. The reason being is that the Ottoman Sultan is already recognized by the Sunni's as Caliph. The Algerians disputing this would probably get them branded Kharijites.
@Vilageidiotx

I assumed since it was, everything was up for grab. But I can edit out Spanish Guinea and also the bowling of the natives.


It is, but we want everything internally consistent. If we let Spain get invaded in the past then a later Spanish player'd have to take that past invasion as fact, which would be awkward.

Okay so I've been doing a little bit of looking and I'm liking what I'm seeing. I think I'll give NRP another go, seeing as even after my long hiatus I still crave for it.

Currently thinking of an independent Algeria, maybe with a large minority of French Europeans within their borders? Maybe more liberal europeans who are more like the ones in the Peoples Republic? (I remember the mention of Old Republic Frenchies getting kicked outta North Africa)

Maybe a country thinking of uniting North Africa through unions? Morocco first, I think. Pretty sure if the Spanish haven't changed, at this part of history the Moroccans have gained independence.

Any possibilities in that? Would have to speak to anyone who is interestes in France and Spain of course. And I don't think I could write with the incredible detail some of these posts are written in but I can damn well try.


@asuraaa has France.

Now, Algeria is a good choice. Reading from Asuraa's app, it was French nationalists fleeing the revolution specifically that were kicked out of Algeria by Algerian nationalists. This leaves you a few choices.

1: Algerian nationalists, which is to say Arab Berbers, drove all the French out altogether and established their own state. This could be in the form of a proper republic or an Islamic cabal. This is probably the most likely outcome of Asuraa's scenario.

1 1/2: Same thing as above but the Pied Noirs were allowed to stay, though many left. Basically the real life scenario tweaked a bit.

2: The Algerian nationalists mentioned were in fact Pied-Noirs who made an apartheid government. They were traditionally conservative and tied to France, but they might make a realpolitik decision and side with the winners without officially submitting to the new French government. This would put them in a tense position because they'd be stuck between native Algerian nationalists who want to drive them out and a Left-Wing government in France which they wouldn't support and which would probably not like them back.

3: The Pied Noirs and Algerians learn to get along and create a join government. Maybe possible if the Pied Noirs decide to stay in Algeria after a nationalist government and become a political party within a government dominated by the Arabs. Realistically there is probably too much bad blood for this and it'd actually look more like 1 1/2

Your white population will probably be about 15 percent from what I've seen. Possibly lower if the Pied Noir are driven out with the French Right-wingers, possibly higher if they form a government with the Arabs.

Also, Morocco joining Algeria isn't very likely. Morocco is a pre-established monarchy with old roots. You could possibly get away with Morocco taking over Algeria, but that'd be biting off way more than they could chew and you'd have to accept rping a very very unstable country.

Okay, I read the app, but... I'm still not sure exactly what you want the relationship to be between Germany and German Afrika. Are you independent, or does German Afrika want the Kaiser to reclaim the ex-colony?


Also, how did German West Afrika become a duchy? Was it ennobled by the Kaiser, or is a unilateral thing? Is Feo's version of Germany creating new duchies at such a late hour? That's something you'll need to confer with to him.

The thing I noticed at the end too is you kinda bowl over the natives. Remember that Kamerun is going to be a majority native nation and native cultural traditions will still be strong. Don't RP Kamerun like it's a white European nation because that won't be realistic. You can do full white rule of course, but it might look a but apartheidy like Wyrm's Rhodesia.

Also also, why did the Germans occupy Spanish Guinea? That seems random. That would have risked bringing Spain into the Great War, which the Kaiser wouldn't of appreciated. It might look weird on the map, but really unless Feo is okay with Germany going to war with Spain I think Spanish Guinea should still be Spanish.
The field was black. A cutaway of a tent was present against the ether, like the backdrop for a play. Two puppets fell down into place, a red-headed woman inside the tent, and an over-exaggerated Sahle on the outside. Some very swanky kind of American music played in the background. The Sahle puppet started to knock on the tent-flap, moving his hip to the song. The red-headed puppet opened its wooden hinged mouth when the singing started.

You better get back to your used-to-be
'Cause you're kinda love ain't good for me
I hear you knocking, but you can't come in
I hear you knocking, go back where you been


Their motions stayed constant, but stilted and creepy. The Sahle puppet took up the next verse.

I begged you not to go but you said goodbye
And now you're telling me all your lies


Both puppets flapped their mouths for the chorus.

I hear you knocking, but you can't come in
I hear you knocking, go back where you been, oh yeah


The puppets took off into the sky as if yanked up by their strings. Sahle opened his eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
June 5th: Yerga Chefe, Sidamo Province, Ethiopia
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sahle woke up before sunrise. He was lying under his cot, feeling his breath blow back from the canvas. Birds chirped outside. He stayed like that for nearly an hour, hoping he could get some extra sleep. He gave up on that when he saw the first red glow of early sunlight. It was time to get up.

He was dressing when Desta Getachew came in. The Minister of the Pen wore his robes of state, but Sahle put on a safari suit again. "Are you ready for breakfast, you're majesty?" Desta asked.

"Yes. Give me a moment."

"Good." Desta left. When Sahle was dressed, he went outside. The morning air was pregnant with the cool humidity of a summer morning, and dew washed his boots. The Imperial party was eating outdoors near their circled vehicles, a long table and stools provided, making them look like the Last Supper turned camping trip. They had eggs, a mixed bread and beef dish called fir-fir, and sourdough pancakes cooked Ethiopian style served with fruit. The Ethiopians stood up and bowed as soon as they saw him, and the startled foreigners followed suit. He motioned for them to sit back down and approached the table. Desta shot him a telling look. Sahle stopped, cleared his throat, and spoke.

"We hope you all enjoyed the night."

"It was absolutely rugged." Bradford Carnahan spoke up, "Like a weekend in Vermont."

"That's good." Sahle approached Rudolph von Lettow-Horbeck, put his hand on his shoulder, and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "That shit's still to crazy. Why did you bring it?" Rudolph grinned impishly. The Emperor sat down and ate.

"What's on the agenda today, brave leader?" Bradford said to Desta.

"I have a plantation south of here." Desta said, "It's bigger then the one we saw yesterday."

"Capital."

Sahle wasn't excited about another day looking at coffee shrubs with a bunch of foreigners dressed like Stanley and Livingstone. He'd only went on this tour in order to pursue Livy Carnahan, and that wasn't turning out the way he'd wanted to. His attempts at conversation were meeting with awkward half-responses.

They finished breakfast as the drivers and Imperial Guardsmen packed up their tents. When they were done, the table was packed, and they were back on the road. They were no longer on the War Road. Ethiopia's back roads received no attention from the national government, kept up instead by local officials and the farmers themselves. These were little better than dirt trails beaten and cut into the Sidamo forests. Bridges were too expensive to maintain, so crossing a river involved finding a ford. It was early enough in the wet season that the fords were still easily crossable. In another month, rushing waters would claim lives. They bumped slowly over a dry river bed. Rudolph took out a flask of Wine, drinking a little before offering it to Sahle. "From home. Juisi." he said. Sahle took a swig.

They reached a coffee farm and climbed out. The tall shrubs looked like hedges along overgrown country lanes. Farmers were at work, dresses in thread-bare shirts and pants, pruning excess growth before the rainy season came and drove them indoors. The Emperor and Desta walked in front of everybody, and when the farmers saw him they turned around and bowed.

"These plants, like the ones we saw yesterday, will produce beans later this year." he said. It was a short version of the speech he'd given at the smaller farms up the road. They came to a bluff, a fifty foot muddy drop beneath them, where they could see the valley open up. It was framed by hillsides heavy with verdant forests, but the valley itself was cleared and planted with row upon row of young coffee shrubs. All together it was a vision of an agriculture Eden.

"Selling to America and Japan has made this all possible." Desta said, smiling warmly like a proud father. "These fields will slake the thirst of steel workers in Pennsylvania, and fishermen in Okinawa."

"Will these new plants produce cherries this year?" Miyagi Yakuga asked.

"It will be three years" Desta replied, "I'm afraid nature isn't very accommodating to capitalism, but we must make due."

"Is there a risk these farmers might unionize?" Bradford Carnahan came with the next question, eying around as if one of the poor locals could understand English and was spying on them for ideas.

"Unionizing isn't legal in Ethiopia, strictly speaking." Desta said, "If a farmers agitated enough to be a real union, they'd risk being called Shiftas, and laws against Shiftas carry heavy penalties. Possibly death."

"Very good. I'm pleased to come to Africa and find that you people are Republicans."

Desta paused a for seconds for questions before he spoke. "To get down there we need to follow the road. We'll stop at a warehouse where processing will be done at the end of the year." They followed him, loaded back into their vehicles, and continued their journey. When they arrived at the large metal warehouse in the middle of the forest, they were surprised to see a Landrover waiting in front of it. Two Ethiopian tricolors flanked the front of the vehicle, the characters "ምድሪ ባሕሪ" printed in black on the central yellow strip, spelling out in Amharic "Medri Bahri".

Desta's car was first in the caravan. When it stopped, Desta got out and slammed the door. He went to talk to a man in a light grey military uniform. Sahle hopped out and went to join his Minister of the Pen.

"He's inside." Desta said. He went around Sahle and addressed the rest of the group still sitting in their vehicles. "We've got government business to discuss. Take this time to stretch your legs. We brought refreshments for anybody who needs it, so help yourself." He went inside. Sahle followed.

The Coffee warehouse smelled close and dusty. Sacks of beans were stacked to the ceiling on either side of them. They went to a back office, where a confused foreman was holding the door open. He bowed when he saw Sahle. They went inside, and the foreman went out. That left them in the room with the man who'd came hunting for them.

Hamere Noh Dagna looked like a mocha bulldog, dressed in a light grey naval dress uniform, with his head appearing to be smashed between his peaked cap and his epaulets. "Your majesty" he said, testily.

"We didn't expect to see you so far from the sea." Desta replied. Sahle stayed silent, standing behind his Minister of the Pen like a faithful wife.

"I got your notice, that I am to sell one of my darlings to the American navy. I must lost my invitation to that meeting. So I'm here. Time to make up for my mistake."

"You were invited to Addis Ababa last month. You didn't come."

"To your birthday party, Desta? It seemed frivolous."

"Nothing is frivolous for people of our station, Hamere Noh. Wasn't it Adam Smith who said 'People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public'"?

"So you entered a conspiracy against me?"

"It's not a conspiracy against you." Desta sat down. Sahle stood in place, thinking if he should say something, frozen like a statue, a witness by default. Desta continued. "The American government has interests it wants to protect in the South China Sea without actually getting involved. Their public is too isolationist to support any direct support of eastern powers, but they want to bolster the Philippines as the dark horse candidate in the region. A ship is all they asked. One ship, and they'd reward us with money."

"Then you'll have to buy a new ship with some of that money, to replace the one you stole from me." Hamere Noh stared down Desta.

"Not enough money to steal a ship. Part of the payment is in preferential trade agreements. Ones that will benefit us."

"Let me guess, coffee." Hamere Noh said, pausing for effect. Desta didn't answer. "And here we are, sitting in a warehouse full of your coffee. How much of this beneficial trade agreement is going to arrive as money in your pocket, Desta?"

"The deal is done." Desta said coldly. Neither talked for a moment, maintaining a bitter air between them. Hamere Noh broke the silence, "Your Imperial Majesty, did you think about this decision, or did you trade your stamp for one of those whores he's always bringing you?"

"I'm his Minister of the Pen. It's my job to hold his stamp. Is it your job to speak treason?" Desta challenged. Sahle didn't feel angry, he felt cornered. "I talked to the American ambassador himself about the matter." he said.

"It's nice that you had the time for him." Hamere Noh retorted. "We have three battleships. They are the jewels of my navy. You taking one of them from me is like you taking a child from a mother of three. I want you, your Imperial majesty, to tell me to my face. I flew here to hear it from your own mouth, so tell me now, are your going to take one of my children?"

Sahle tried to come up with the words to say, but they were tangled up in his head, and he couldn't pull enough free to make a sentence. Desta spoke for him. "The paperwork is signed. You can chose which one the Americans pick. His Imperial Majesty expects you to treat the American naval delegation with courtesy."

Hamere Noh's eyes didn't move off the Emperor. Sahle only managed a dry "Yes." The meeting broke up, and Sahle spent the rest of the day desperately wanting to get high. Luckily Rudolph had the goods.

The toured more farms. By dinner he was in a cannabis blur, his conversation with the Bahr Negus a dull and distant pain. They were going to eat outside until it started raining. They fled inside a different coffee shed, rain pattering on the tin roof, the roads outside being churned into a sticky muck. He and Rudolph went first, eating more than their share, taking a window seat so they could watch the weather. The rain let up and a rainbow appeared in the cloudy brown sky. Somehow, he'd managed to forget about Livy.

They camped again, off in the grass to avoid the worst of the mud. It took longer this time for their servants to set up their tents, and it was dark when they were ready. Sahle slipped into his cot almost immediately, but he had trouble staying asleep, finding himself staring at the dark canvas. He heard his name called, a wraith-like voice to his sleep addled mind. He heard it again. Awake this time, he identified it.

"Your majesty." Livy Carnahan called out. What time was it? Sahle hopped up, realizing he was still fully dressed. He met her at the front of his tent.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Eleven. Have I offended you?"

"What?" Sahle scratched at his eyelid.

"You were distant, and my brother thinks I offended you, and he said it'd be bad for business, so I had to check."

"I thought you weren't interested in me."

"I'm not interested in you that way. You being... you're majesty... that's too big for me. But I don't want to offend you. We can be friends."

"Okay." Sahle said, letting her see him smile, but inhaling air into a body that felt empty from the thought she wouldn't love him. Had he ever expected that from the girls he pursued before? Or had he always expected it? "You like music?" she asked, "Come with me, I have something to show you."

He followed her into the night. The moon was their only source of light, and for the first time he noticed she was still wearing her khaki safari dress, though she'd eschewed the hat and let her red hair flow free. They were in a clearing cut through by a muddy road, both sides walled in by the night-blackened woods like a room with two exits. Unseen creatures serenaded them as they approached the parked caravan of cars. Livy lead him to the landrover she'd spent the last few days in, went to the back, and started to unlatch the tarp placed over their luggage. Sahle helped. When it was uncovered, he was surprised to see a portable turntable.

"Why do you have this?" he asked in a sort of astonished yelp. Livy pulled a record. Gershwin. "My brother was going to play music when we traveled, but after he saw the roads..." she swallowed the words she was going to say and reached into the small collection of records, pulling out a pure white sleeve. She slipped the record out. The front said "I Hear You Knocking - Plump Poker"

"What's this?"

"You like American music, right?"

"Is Plump Poker a type of Jazz?" Sahle asked.

"Plump Poker is a person." she said, "Here..." she set up the turntable, put the record in, and it started to play.

You went away and left me long time ago
Now you're knocking on my door
I hear you knocking, but you can't come in
I hear you knocking, go back where you been


It was different than what Sahle knew. Different than Jazz certainly, and that was the most exotic music he could think of. He felt like the first human to ferment grains and discover alcohol, introduced to something he had no words to describe, stuck instead with a collection of feelings and sensations that were not necessarily new in their parts, but when put all together were too primitive to explain.

I begged you not to go but you said goodbye
And now you're telling me all your lies
I hear you knocking, but you can't come in
I hear you knocking, go back where you been, oh yeah


She smiled at him, doing a kind of hip-based American dance that was incredibly sexy to him. "We're friends now?"

"Friends" he promised.
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