Villamvihar

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

The situation made less and less sense with every second. Ember picked up on the subtle signs of anger from Michi - the trembling of her hands along with the edge in her voice - but not in her wildest dreams did she expect to witness such a tirade. Her comrade watched with wide eyes herself, occasionally glancing at the schemer as the latter tried to figure out what could have caused this explosion. Instead, she ended up catching something that Michi had no right to know.

”...If you got to know her, you might actually find something in one of her fractured personalities. Sylvia’s just as selfish and whiny as you are…

That was not the only thing. Her reasoning did not fit the situation. It almost felt as though she were trying to make excuses for everything that happened, as though she were trying to rationalise the clearly irrational. Not a sign of guilt in and of itself, of course, but combined with what Ember assumed was a slip of the tongue, it started to build a certain picture in the schemer’s mind.

She tried to interrupt several times in order to stop the tirade, but just as the presumably magical girl plowed Suki aside, she barreled straight through Ember’s gestures and half-started sentences. Meanwhile, the warrior’s eyes grew ever narrower, her emotions making it clear that she was just waiting for Michi to finish digging herself a hole so she too, could give a piece of her mind. Now if only Roche had not chosen to deal a literal lunch box’s worth of justice.

”You were a huge fucking bitch just now,” she spoke up, looking Michi straight in the eye. Ember groaned in the background, the situation crumbling before her very eyes. ”Suki’s not the best, but she didn’t deserve that.” Unlike that damn light idiot who kept hanging around, walking off because her feelings were hurt or something.

”While I agree with both of your sentiments, Hananami-san and Takae-san… or rather, myself…” Ember stood up with a wry smile, ”I would have preferred if you asked what was wrong instead of rushing straight into the situation like a bull in a china shop.” She sounded as calm as she could be, but her hands folded in front of her body and her brows moved closer to each other, clearly disapproving.

”Of course you’re taking the side of a bitch again!” Hotaru snapped at her comrade, before she snatched the lunchbox from Roche’s hand and threw it at Michi. ”She’s just trampled Suki into the ground and you’re asking what’s wrong? She’s wrong!”

Of course it would be that argument again. With nearly the exact same words as before, as though nothing changed between their interactions. Ember could not even manage anger at this point. Only cold, dead disappointment and apathy settled into her heart as she hardened it against any words the warrior would be throwing at her.

”Yes she is. What she did is not acceptable. At the same time, dumping food on her and berating her in return does us little good, especially if it puts us in danger.” Ember remained as calm and as undisturbed as a serene lake on the outside. On the inside, though, she had started thinking of the strange phenomena around them as threats, which meant they were sitting right in the middle of a trap.

”What the hell are you talking about?”

As if on cue, Evil Eye chose that precise moment to blast off. At the same time, Ember reached out towards the bodies outside, gathering the threads into the palm of her metaphorical hand so they could teleport away if the situation turned worse. Unfortunately, the warrior did not react as well and she transformed in broad daylight, her huge gauntlets overturning the table in front of them. Armed with the usual, eviscerating claws, Hotaru set her legs wide to be able to take an incoming attack. After all, this was merely just one body of the many. And damned if she would let anyone go without giving them a bruising.

---

”I-I-I’m not all right. Y-y-you’re making me less all right by talking. P-p-please leave me alone.” Sylvia’s hands clenched. Her head dropped down further, a twitch running through her entire form when Tsubomi mentioned the abusive relationship. She had heard that some time ago from either Hotaru or Ember. She had dismissed it back then, saying that her mother was the bad one. She abandoned the family, so Sylvia, her daughter deserved everything that happened to Sylvia.

It was a completely different matter if the gods lied.

If the gods lied, they used her. They treated her like… horribly! They beat her and denied her food and called her names! As such, they were not gods at all.

A flicker. A spark. Tears of anger. She could not even revel in them, because the situation around her shifted, blue ribbons coming out of nowhere and Tsubomi saying that they were being surrounded. The situation clearly called for a retreat.

Sylvia felt Ember gathering the threads towards the bodies. Especially towards one on the outside, situated on the rooftop. And yet at the same time, if Sylvia was in danger, then… people who could be her friends… they were in danger too. If there was such a thing as friends. But that was irrelevant. She simply chose to look Tsubomi in the eye, tears of fury still rolling down her face.

”Would you really have this humble high priestess abandon everyone to ravenous wolves?”

---

On the rooftop, First Shuuko straightened out. She had been paying close attention to the events through the eyes of her friends and while she was no Fourth Shuuko, she too, perceived the impending trap. So when Fourth Shuuko and Second Shuuko reached out to her - she responded. She let go of her sliver of magic with practiced ease. Her eyes fluttered closed into a trance-like state. She would stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them once again, like she had done so many times.

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

Neither the schemer, nor the warrior had expected Kiyo’s reaction, both of their eyes going wide at her quip. A brief moment of stunned silence followed before a small smile took over Ember’s visage, then she slid right up against Hotaru, into her personal space and well past her comrade-in-arms’ defenses, imitating the hug she had seen between the warrior and Kiyo.

”That’s right. There are two Shuukos in existence right now. Or maybe our numbers are three, four five, six… Kiyo, would you mind telling me exactly how many members are in the Detention Club? I am afraid that in order to not upset anyone’s feelings, I just have to make so many clones of myself. ” While her expression seemed to be one of mischief at the surface, someone who knew ‘Bad Shuuko’ well would realise that Ember’s lips did not quite match what she tried to project. A little bent in them showed her nervousness.

”What are you talking about? There aren’t si-” Hotaru’s jaws clacked shut before she finished her sentence, realising just what sort of trap the schemer had set up for her. ”Very funny. I was about to have a real conversation with Kiyo here.”

”As much as I loathe to say this, it might not be a good time.” Ember dropped her smile as she watched Kiyo look in the mirror to try and hypnotise herself. ”I am also of the opinion that something is not right here and while I hate to interrupt your conversation,” she inclined her head towards Michi in an attempt to include her in the exchange, ”It might be worth discussing why everyone suddenly has a blue ribbon and a silver fork.”

”Why is that any of your business?” The warrior frowned, looking around to see what was…

She saw them. She groaned as she threw her head back, lifting the back of her hand onto her forehead, understanding why Ember had emphasized the ribbons. While she was not nearly as observant as the schemer, she felt sure she would notice the entire student population having blue ribbons.

”Great. What the hell is going on?”

---

Jaws clacked shut with a loud noise of teeth against teeth. A flash of wanting to pull Tsubomi’s leg, then shove her face into the resulting mess blitzed through Sylvia’s consciousness, but once again, the desire - or perhaps principle - to not hurt overwrote it. Instead, she let go of it and attempted to look the other magical girl in the eye. She succeeded for all but a second or two before she found the floor much more interesting.

”I-I’m not telling you. A-and if you kick me again, I’m kicking you back.” Her voice carried very little certainty. In fact, it was almost as though she were asking herself question after question with every word she spoke. Because, Tsubomi looked at her as though she were… Them. That contempt. The roll of her eyes. Tsubomi had to be a bad apple that Sylvia could not trust.

Or was she? Did she even really speak to Tsubomi before this? She could not recall. She did not seem bad, just… stoic. So she looked back at the emotionless girl’s eyes for a second, only to be burned by her own attempt at reading the other. What would Grandfather think? What would Grandmother think? And did it even matter?

… What did Tsubomi think? What did she want to do to Sylvia?

That mattered.

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

Whimpers came in response to Tsubomi’s kicks and proclamations. Somewhat predictably, instead of helping Sylvia process her issues, the hits served only to stir up deep-seated emotions and memories, plunging her deeper into the darkness… at least until something shifted at the last kick and Sylvia actually caught Tsubomi’s leg with both of her hands. She held it firmly in her grip, so that the other magical girl risked tripping with every move she made.

”Please stop kicking me,” spoke the protector. Her voice barely carried, but it contained the smallest hint of resolve one could imagine. ”I… I don’t know. But please stop kicking me.” She repeated her response. She could not say she did not deserve it, because she truly did not know. But she did not like it. It felt like it fed the bonfire of hurt inside of her. The one the liars and deceivers had made. The one grandmother and grandfather made.

Was Tsubomi also a liar?

Sylvia did not know. Not all people who hurt her were liars, were they? She truly did not know. But she promised Haruna she would be all right. And if something felt wrong, she was not being all right.

It felt like her head swam in a pool of molasses. Half-finished questions collided with half-finished thoughts inside her head, spinning her around and making it feel like she were standing on a bouncy castle determined to expel her from its premises. A part of her wanted to raise her hand and hit Tsubomi in the face with all the force she could muster, then keep going until she begged for mercy. Exactly as Sylvia had to beg a long time ago. Another part of her did not want to hurt anyone.

”I’m not all right,” she spoke again. ”I will be less all right if you keep kicking me.” Was she even saying the right things?

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

Whoever that red-headed woman was, she along with Ryoba had swept Ember aside and she could not catch up to them. Sure, the schemer tried to do her best to ask around, tracing the rulekeeper’s steps, but there was a massive gaggle of students that blocked everything. Or several massive gaggles. The whole school seemed to be strange today, come to think of it. First, there was the incident with the three names. Then the red-haired woman whom Ember had never seen before, claiming to be a teacher. Then the crowd.

There was no pattern she could spot. But there had to be something she missed. The first thing that came to mind was Ryoba not recognising her, which she immediately dismissed. And then… there was nothing else.

Ember sighed. She would keep an eye out for more strange occurrences. Until then, she had all the time in the world to think of another approach. Maybe she could grab Kiyo at lunchtime, to see if she noticed anything amiss. They should be able to put their heads together to figure it out, should they not? Yes. If it was Kiyo, she would have definitely noticed whatever Ember missed.

As usual, the classes were a breeze for Ember, even if she was forced to acknowledge that the red-haired woman was a teacher. So much that she practically found herself in front of the lunch room, watching out for the Detention Club… there!

Now if only her feet were willing to move.

It almost felt as though something had glued to the floor and no matter how many times she tried to lift her feet, the only result she got was that the lump in her throat grew bigger. Or her stomach got tighter. Why? This had not been the first time she had been brushed off like that. Nor would it be the last. And yet, a part of her could not help asking the question: What if not even Ember recognised her? What if they thought she was trying to stir up trouble again?

This was not like her. This was not like her at all! And despite Ember telling herself that, the doubts kept surfacing. She may have messed up irrecoverably with Sylvia. She did the wrong thing with Ryoba, too. And maybe she also wronged Hotaru. So what if her approach was wrong yet again?

She ruminated on that for a few moments before she settled on taking a page out of Hotaru’s book, directly approaching the table as she flashed her magic. A spectral gauntlet appeared around her right hand, along with two horns on her forehead for a split second to cue Kiyo in on who she was. Except, she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw that instead of gold, the gauntlet around her hand left behind red embers of magic.

---

Hotaru spent her classes glaring at both the teacher and the rest of the Club. After all, she had not gotten answers - she had not even been brushed off. Instead, a flood of students interrupted their conversation at the worst possible time before they were forced to go to class. But at least now she could talk more with Kiyo to see what she had to say. Or at least she could have talked if Ember had not decided on the very same thing, even going as far as to flash her magic in a public space that could be filled to the brim with magical girls.

It was something the warrior would have done.

Sneering at what was, in all due likelihood, a subtle insult to her way of thinking, Hotaru decided to ignore the display and sit down beside Kiyo and that other girl anyways, owning the space to the left of Kiyo like it had always belonged to her. With her confidence so solid, there could be no doubt about who the true Shuuko was in this situation, and it sure as hell was not the one who just flashed their red magic in open air in an attempt to join the conversation.

”Hello!” she waved to the unknown girl with a smug grin on her face. ”I’m here to join my bestie.” And she all but wrapped her right arm around Kiyo, pulling the Detention Club’s smartest member close to her. Their eyes met, Hotaru’s gaze reflecting an unspoken question: Just who had joined them? And could they talk openly about Club business around her?

---

The day could not have turned worse. Not only did Sylvia get tangled up in someone who looked like they were disgusted by her, she could not even squeeze in an apology before classes started up again and that made it impossible to focus. She could not even remember what sort of classes they had, which teachers held them or really, where she went; she followed wherever the crowd took her even as she went over her apologies dozens upon dozens of times, only to be thwarted by the sheer scale of the school.

Of course the protector could not find the one whom she harmed. Naturally, she would not be able to make up for her mistake. She would carry this, too, the rest of her life - like everything else. Their words. Their lies. Their behaviour. Even if Haruna had spoken true, how would she go about finding friends? The light girl seemed to believe that she along with Roche were just that. Someone Sylvia could place her faith in, rely on. But if the gods had lied… Then what was to say she did not lie, either?

The protector’s thoughts kept spinning around her parents, her past and her comrades, finding only doubt and depressing darkness. It felt as though she were trying to make her way through a room without any windows, its floor filled with all manners of traps she could not see. Every step lead to bleeding feet. Even if she tried to feel the obstacles with her hand, her fingers could be snapped or her hand could be broken. All in all, it was no surprise that Tsubomi picked up on her disastrous mental state and kicked her.

It had not been a forceful kick. And yet Sylvia found the ground giving beneath her all the same. She fell forward and barely caught herself at the last second, the world along with Tsubomi’s words coming into sharp focus.

”Tsubomi?” she asked, her voice hollow. ”Why did you… never mind.” Surely, the emotionless girl kicked her because she deserved to be kicked.

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

”Look, just because I hang out with her a lot of the time,” Hotaru crossed her arms as she spoke, ”doesn’t mean I’m talking about Roche. Other people exist in the world.” Why did Ember not say- Ah, they were separate now. And come to think of it, the redhead would have probably forced her into some sort of ridiculous lie that only someone with a demonstrably oversized brain could keep track of. So she was all the better for it.

”And yeah, I know, Suki. Like I said, I was an ass there. I don’t think I did anything wrong with this friend, though. And Kiyo! Even if I look at it from her perspective, I was looking out for her, trying to protect her.” The warrior spoke as though apologising would absolve her of every bit of responsibility regarding her actions in the first place. It probably did not help that a frown appeared on her face after she heard the analysis of the Detention Club’s brilliant schemer.

”So I really don’t under-” Where had the gaggle of students come from? Why were they following the damned light girl along with Tsubomi and some creepy-looking goth girl who looked pale enough to fall over from anemia.

Who just so happened to bring along Sylvia.

Hotaru barely stopped herself from clicking her tongue as soon as she saw the protector. Mostly because calling her by that moniker seemed to be a blatant lie. She could not protect anything; a stiff breeze would be enough to rip her into shreds, never mind an incoming attack or something along those lines. Had the warrior really had such an extreme effect on her? If so, then she really was in the wrong. Even Hotaru could admit it. If only she could see how…!

As for Sylvia, she just followed Michi. Being dragged around was better than being trampled, or so a greater part of her insisted. The smaller part, however, whispered that she should just let the students walk over her, drive her into the ground without any semblance of care. Then the pain would disappear forever. Not to mention there would be no longer any liars. Nor students that glared at her, making her feel as though they were driving stakes through her heart.

And of course, out of all the things she had to meet - it was Hotaru. The one who hated her the most. The one who did not listen to a single word she said. It was not that she lied unlike many others, but it was that she drove forward, ever relentlessly.

Sylvia’s heart panged. Her gaze focused on the floor. She wrenched her hand out of Michi’s grasp, then stepped away to flee from the scene, inner demons all but screaming at her and sending her careening into Tsubomi.

She tried to stop herself, of course, but her movements felt sluggish. It was as though she were moving in molasses, so the only thing she succeeded doing was entangling herself in the other magical girl. This close, Tsubomi probably felt the impact of Sylvia’s emotions manyfold, but perhaps her sensitivity could also allow her to feel magic residing in Sylvia’s soul.

---

That could have gone much better.

Ember did all she could to withstand the abuse silently, both from the red-haired woman and Roche. She knew they were correct, but it did not make the barbs in their voices sink less deep, especially from the Detention Club’s Rulekeeper. She also knew it was her own fault that she lay on the floor with wide eyes, because she wanted to pretend to be another person. Wanted to become someone else so the blame would not land on Shuuko or Ember.

Thoughts were never to be a salve for her meagre wounds. But were her words or thoughts ever a salve to Sylvia? She did not know. But could she know? Would Sylvia even want to share her feelings with Ember?

The schemer’s teeth ground against each other. She nearly felt them rupture as she stood up and headed after Roche, using her determined pace to hopefully catch up to the fleeing girl.

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

This had to be some sort of a sick joke. If Ember had not seen it with her own eyes, then she was not sure she would have believed that the Rulekeeper - the Rulekeeper! - would have let herself be hoisted up, then carried into a janitor’s closet. All the while her not-yet-girlfriend-yet-certainly-more-than-friend walked by them with a smile that bordered on unsettling. But that mattered very little when there was a situation unfolding right before her eyes. So Ember steeled herself, straightening her spine as she walked.

Then she knocked on the janitorial closet’s door.

”Hananami Ryoba-san?” she asked, shifting her voice to not quite sound like herself or Shuuko, while also injecting a healthy dose of confusion into it. ”Ummm… I don’t know what you’re doing in there, but umm… the track team sounded like they needed your help. They said something about missing equipment, I think? I’m sorry, I didn’t really pay attention.”

Ember hoped she sounded convincing. She tried to mimic a confused student who had no idea about the situation, but she was not sure if she could keep the anger out of her voice.

”And who is in there with you anyways? Should I call a teacher? I haven’t seen her around here.” Adding in the subtle threat would hopefully ward off whoever dragged Ryoba in there. Then she could proceed to have-

No. That sort of thinking was exactly what lead Ember to this position in the first place. She needed to hear what the Earthshaker had to say for herself just in case she was innocent in all this, but it was so difficult. She felt her hands clench, nails almost driving themselves into her palm, carving open the skin there. Even if she tried to relax them, the tension wound them up again.

What could she even do, though, if Roche really was dating this… woman? She seemed tall. Woman was probably right then. It was not like she was official with Sylvia. They have not really moved beyond friendship save for that kiss they shared. So did she even have any right to interfere with this situation?

No matter. The die had already been cast.

---

Eyebrows hiked up all the way to the top of Hotaru’s head as she witnessed Suki’s shenanigans, following her halfway into the room, then she flashed a sheepish, ‘what-can-you-do’ sort of grin towards Kiyo. She followed it up by dramatically raising her hand towards her forehead - eyebrows still raised - then flicking it and mimicking taking an absurd amount of damage. Unfortunately, that was about as far as smiling or being silly would take her.

”Yeah, I’m sorry. I was a bit of an asshole there,” she apologised, slightly bowing her head. ”Anyway, about that… I’m looking for advice. Real stuff. Not any nonsense. Because a very important friend said that I hate her and…”

She smacked her fist into her palm.

”I have no idea why. I don’t think I did anything to hurt her. But she says I did.”

---

What meaning could there be in a life where…

Sylvia did not dare to finish the question. Because then she would have to answer it herself. Sure, she promised Haruna that she would be all right in the end, but was she really? Nothing felt all right. Rather, it felt as though she were moving through a void, her movements not quite hers. She was not even sure she perceived colours anymore. It mattered little anyways. Her grades mattered little anyways. Everyone could tolerate her being late for once.

She did not even know which class she moved towards. She just knew where she had to go and she had to pretend to be there. To try and cling to the nothing she had. Because she saw the looks Roche gave to that tall, red-haired woman. They made her heart ache. Because surely, the red-haired woman was not Sylvia. She was better than her. She knew what to do. She would not be stuttering. Not like the daughter of a-

But that was a lie. Haruna told her so. That gods could lie as well. And it was true. They lied to her about everything. And so the life of Sylvia had been built on top of lies. There was no foundation to be found, nothing solid that could be built on.

It hurt so much.

What could be the remedy for such pain? Smacking someone around sounded something like her grandmother would do. Or her grandfather. Both of them liars. Liars!

Meanwhile, talking with anyone sounded like it would open another abyss. Lead to something she was not meant to discover. So she saw Haruna and Tsubomi. She even saw the other girl with them. But before she could bring herself even to wave, she gave up on it. All they would see was a blonde-haired student passing by, who may have looked similar to Shuuko.

It hurt so much.

Would it ever stop?

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

It did not take long for Hotaru to find two of her club-mates. Apparently they were running an errand of some sort, so she brightened up when they approached, only for both Suki and Kiyo pass her by.

In that moment, she felt as though she had turned into an ancient statue of salt. Her legs rooted in place as though ancient vines had encircled them. Her head felt as though it had been assailed by countless picks attempting to liberate the riches from inside the protective shell. The only thing she could think was why they had not noticed her. Sure, she looked different, but Kiyo-! She was supposed to know! She was the all-seeing eye!

With an audible stomp, she turned around and grabbed both of them by the collar of their school uniforms.

”Good morning to you two!” The forced cheer in her voice could not be mistaken. ”I guess it’s difficult to recognise someone after they had a makeover, huh?” She let go of their collars and pranced in front of them with a smile, channeling the energy Kiyo knew her for so she could see the girl behind the presumably unknown face. At least she still resembled Takae Shuuko - but she seemed more like a sibling than the ‘high priestess’ Kiyo knew.

”No hard feelings, though. I…” She blinked. Huh. Maybe it would be interesting to also hear what Suki had to say on matters of the heart. Surely, she had plenty of experience, right? ”Actually, I guess I could use some advice from both of you.” She crossed her ams and flashed a grin at her two club-mates.

---

Ember had tried everything in her power to get through to Sylvia. She pleaded, she remained honest, she even told the protector she was worried, but the facade, along with hints of the old bitch remained. Something severe had to have happened to her. She needed to find out what- she needed to call on the club as a whole to ask them about it. She only had to figure out how. Maybe she could fake a magic injury? That would be painful, but it could work.

And then came the umpteenth surprise of the day. Namely, that when they entered the school and Ember approached a teacher for guidance, they were told to report to different classes.

Sylvia went along with it. Ember tried to get her to stay and investigate what was going on, but the protector shook her head with that creepy smile of hers and said she did not want to be late for the second class of the day. Which made sense, but it made it so much harder to live up to her promise. But instead of playing model student, Ember decided she would play hooky for once to watch over the protector. Because something was not right. And she would be damned if she let Sylvia be hurt again.

Yet not even she could have been prepared for the sight in front of them. Namely, Ryoba Hananami being lifted into marshmallow heaven by what could only be described as a scarlet-haired bombshell.
Sylvia walked by, seemingly without any comment. Ember, however, could barely get her jaws off the floor, because the situation was unmistakable as far as she was concerned.

---

Rooftop Takae Shuuko winced as she closed her eyes and took a peek at the various situations unfolding around the others. Would she have to interfere…?

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

A splitting headache woke Takae Shuuko.

It speared straight into her brain, then spread through her whole frontal lobe, almost as though it wished to obliterate her pathways of thought. And while normally, she would have switched to another body to fix the issue, it disappeared in a blink of an eye. Literally. She opened her eyes, took a look at her room, blinked, then the seemingly all-encompassing pain vanished.

It would not be the only odd thing she noticed about the morning.

Everything felt slightly off. Her arm was either longer or shorter than she was used to, or both. She missed the light switch, failed to find her hairbrush between the four others – since when did she have four hairbrushes – and the room felt too large while the bed felt too small. She even hit her head in the doorway. Little annoyances like these piled up one after another until she started towards the shower in an attempt to freshen up herself.

But “Takae Shuuko” stopped dead before the full-body mirror in the hallway.

”This is not possible.” And yet, the mirror looked back at her with blue eyes. Red hair. A figure that harkened back to her school days. She looked exactly as though she were seventeen years old, give or take. And while she had started to experiment with altering the appearance of the Khir, those changes were still in their infancy. They took a long time, not to mention she could not do it with such accuracy, no matter how hard she tried.

So she knocked on the mirror. The image did not change. She pulled her cheeks and the pain did not wake her up. It seemed as though she were in reality, with everything that entailed.

”This is not possible.” She repeated it as though it changed anything, then bolted back into her room, only to find that another “Takae Shuuko” laying in the bed, clutching a pillow between her arms. Her long, blonde hair framed her as though she were an angel, not that Fourth Shuuko had any desire to let her remain asleep. Instead, she jabbed a finger between the ribs, resulting in an undignified scream and Second Shuuko scrambling away.

”W-w-why?!” Second Shuuko asked with tears brimming in her eyes. She hugged the pillow even closer, almost as though she were wielding it as a shield.

”I’m really sorry for waking you up like that, Shuuko, but I needed you awake yesterday.” answered Fourth Shuuko.

”S-s-shuuko?!” asked Second Shuuko. Her green eyes widened as she too, noticed the changes. ”What happened?”

”I wish I knew the answer, however, all I know is that this is not my doing.“ Fourth Shuuko’s lips pressed into a thin line. ”We are, however, in the same situation. And unlike before, there is no possibility of us pretending to be each other.“ Fourth Shuuko only said that out loud because she too, needed the reassurance that this was not a nightmare. She could hardly believe it either, but Second Shuuko’s served as further proof they were in reality right now.

For the next several moments, they just stared at each other. Then Second Shuuko smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. Nor did it really reach her lips.

”Does it really matter?” asked Second Shuuko. Fourth Shuuko’s eyes widened.

”Did something happen while we were talking?” Second Shuuko shook her head in response. Fourth Shuuko could not help but notice how lifeless the gesture looked.

”No, nothing that really matters.” Fourth Shuuko knew that Second Shuuko lied, yet she could not quite pick up on how or about what. The entire sentence felt as though it had been stripped of its essence, robbed of anything it should have possessed.

”Can you please talk about it anyways? Maybe it is not important to you, but I would love to hear about it.” Second Shuuko shook her head once again.

”It doesn’t matter. We’ll be late for school if we don’t start now.” Second Shuuko let go of her pillow, then stood up. ”Come on now, Shuuko.” The smile only became more eerie. ”I’ll do your hair if you’ll do mine.” She went straight to the makeup cabinet – since when did Takae Shuuko have one in her room? – and expertly retrieved the hairbrush Fourth Shuuko could not find, along with another one that belonged to Second Shuuko.

”Please,” repeated Fourth Shuuko. ”Please tell me what happened so I can help you.”

”I don’t know if you can.” Second Shuuko’s smile dropped. ”Even if they’re repaired with gold, some things remain broken and useless.” She opened up one of the cabinet doors to reveal a mirror. For a moment, it looked as though a golden spiderweb criss-crossed its surface, the kintsugi washing away all imperfection.

”Please let me do your hair.” The eerie smile returned. ”If we can’t hide, we must look beautiful. We must hide all blemishes.” Fourth Shuuko felt her throat tighten. Those were phrases borrowed from the old bitch. Not word for word, because she would have never used it like that, but they carried her spirit all the same. Only that she used them whenever-

”However,” Fourth Shuuko refused to finish that thought, so she spoke up instead, ”please recall, that when molten gold is poured into an object’s imperfections, it is meant to highlight its beauty along with how precious it is to its owner.”

”That’s yet another one of the lies.” Second Shuuko arranged the two chairs. ”Now, be a good girl and sit still, or we’ll never get it done.”

---

Third Shuuko felt free for the first time in her life. From the moment she woke up, she knew her chains have been lifted, because even if it was in the same bed, Third Shuuko recognised in the mirror that she was Hotaru, and all the better for it. So she absolutely did not skip to school. No, she had walked to school like a digni-

She almost died of laughter before she could finish that thought. Dignified woman her foot! Neither Sylvia, nor Ember, nor the goddamned “grandparents” had any power over her anymore. She did not even feel the two others, so whatever twist of fate lead to this, it showed that she had not been at fault.

Right?

The thought took the wind out of Hotaru’s sails. Her head dropped, her gait slowing as she thought about it all, because even though the “heist” with Roche went well, the issue with Sylvia still sat ill with her. Why did the protector think Hotaru hated her? It made no sense. She only attacked the damned light girl because she wanted to protect both of them. Shouldn’t Sylvia be the first one to understand where she came from? Ah, she really was no good with these things. She needed to talk to Kiyo. Maybe the reliable “senpai” would help her out this time.

But would Kiyo even recognise her? That was the second question on Hotaru’s mind. She looked so different now. Perfect in her own eyes, of course, because it was the body she always inhabited in their shared mindscape, but also unrecognisable aside from her face. Even then, she looked more like a sibling of Takae Shuuko than Shuuko herself.

Shaking her head to dismiss those thoughts, Hotaru reassured herself that no matter how she looked or what she sounded like, Kiyo would never mistake her for someone else. Now, she only needed to track her down. Maybe Hotaru could accomplish it during the first recess?

---

Takae Shuuko knew that something was wrong. In her mind's eye, she watched two of her selves help each other get ready, the schemer desperately trying to get through the protector’s eerie facade. At the rate they were going, they would be arriving only during the second class of the day, a blemish on their otherwise perfect record. She could not find it in her heart to fault them for it, because the situation certainly did not make any sense.

Because, as the one to wake up first - even before Hotaru - she visited the faculty room and asked around. As it turned out, there were three Takae Shuukos on record in the school, each one in a different class, each one using the same kanji for their names. Which did not make any sense. They had all chosen the characters together. Even if there were three students whose names sounded the same, it would take an astronomical coincidence for the spellings to be the same. They had to have used at least one different kanji.

Unfortunately, before she could investigate thoroughly, students started arriving and she had to abandon snooping around. Even if it felt wrong, even if it drove a wedge into her heart, “Takae Shuuko” knew she could not be revealed right now. So she hid on the roof and hoped no one would be brave enough to look for someone who did not even exist.

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

”I just don’t want to be hurt again.”

Ember could do little in the face of such a strong resolve. Despite the words being forced through clenched teeth, she felt the hurt she had unknowingly inflicted on Sylvia. Or rather, she understood the protector in a way she would not have an hour or so ago, before she decided to throw away the pretense that blinded her. She saw it clearly now: She, along with Hotaru, had pushed the protector too far. They should not have relied on her this much in the first place.

”I am afraid that is not something I can affect, Sylvi,” responded Ember. Her voice projected a calm she did not feel, tension winding up inside her as though it were a steel spring. It reached towards her heart, squeezing it as though there were no tomorrow, causing it to stifle her lungs. She swore her palms were sweating gallons upon gallons, but right now, she needed to be a rock. She needed to be the one who protected the protector.

”However, I can share your pain, Sylvi. Please let me do it. It is the least I can do for you after I have failed you so thoroughly.”

Sylvia flinched. Her arms wrapped around her shoulders, her eyes darting to the side. Goosebumps showed on her skin as something - Ember reminded herself she did not know for certain what it was - stirred inside the protector. The schemer barely managed to catch the moment the green-eyed girl’s pupils dilated.

Normally, their bodies had red eyes. Every single one of them. Though many would have dismissed the change as something superfluous, Ember knew better and she wondered: What colour would her eyes be if she were to look at a mirror right now? How would she see herself? But those questions could wait. Sylvia needed her.

”Please don’t.” The protector spoke barely above a whisper, yet her words still left a deep impact. ”I know you hurt me… but I don’t want you to be hurt.”

”While I may be hurt in the process of sharing the pain, it is the best thing I can do for your sake right now, Sylvi.” Ember suppressed the uncertanty in her voice, for she channelled that most terrifying of emotions: honesty. She still chose her words carefully, wanting to avoid stirring up the past or opening up fresh wounds. Her role demanded as such. ”I am aware that your duty is not something to be taken lightly. I do not know how difficult it will be for me to share your pain. But it is what I would like to do for your sake, Sylvi.”

Sylvia refused to look up at Ember. A pause, a gap settled between them while she thought, perhaps about her abusers. The arguments between Grandfather and Grandmother. The punishments which were nothing save for an exercise in sadism. All inflicted upon Sylvia. All something that Ember should have been looking out for, should have encouraged to be healed - yet she stood by while the protector suffered. And so she had lost the right to reach out.

The schemer’s body started to feel hollow. It felt as though every moment she looked at Sylvia, her eyes were immersed in fire. It burned so bad she wanted to look away, yet she did not permit herself to look away.

”I… Ember… Were you really my friend?” Sylvia let her arms down, almost as though she wanted to collapse right on the spot. Her legs seemed unsteady. Her head drooped along with her shoulders.

”That is a matter for you to decide, Sylvi. No… Hiramatsu-san.” The protector all but whipped her head back towards ember. Green eyes locked with the schemer’s, a mixture of terror and surprise reflected in them. ”Please do not let me give you an answer.”

”I don’t know. You helped me, but you also…”

”I can only repeat how sorry I am for letting you get hurt. I should have shouldered at least a portion of your suffering the moment we arrived in Hibusa Town and so I can completely understand if you were to disbelieve me.” Ember suppressed a wince as she spoke. It felt as though the hollow inside her body grew bigger. ”I’m so sorry, Hiramatsu-san. I swear that I will never let this repeat. I want to share in your burden so you may find your answers to your questions.”

The protector refused to listen to her honesty, dismissing the schemer’s earnest wish with a powerful shake of her head.

”I can’t hurt you, Ember! Even if you aren’t my friend, you… I don’t know. I’m just a bad girl who-”

”Please do not use that word to describe yourself, Hiramatsu-san. I beg of you.” The emptiness twisted. ”I know it will be difficult for you to believe me, however, every girl has something within them that could turn them into a bad girl in the eyes of others. So please listen to me, Hiramatsu-san. I wish to tell you with all my heart that you are not a bad girl”. Ember had to take a deep breath to suppress the shivers building along her spine. For once, she too, struggled with her words.

”That isn’t true! If I’m not, then why did you two fight? It was because I wasn’t getting hurt anymore, isn’t it?!” Just how badly had they screwed up if Sylvia thought like that? Ember’s blood started to run colder as she voiced that thought.

”You had nothing to do with it as far as I am concerned.”

”You’re lying!” Sylvia put her right foot forward, then started to march towards Ember. Her steps struck harder than they had any right to, bringing her intentions of menace closer and closer to Ember. Then, her eyes glowing green with magic and she raised her hand to strike.

She mirrored the very same pose the old bitch used whenever she hit Sylvia.

The schemer knew it very well, which was why she could avoid it at the last moment. Then she grabbed the protector’s hand, gently, to prevent her from doing something she would no doubt regret.

”Please believe me when I say that I am telling you the truth.” Ember injected steel into her voice that she did not feel, still trying to be what Sylvia needed her to be.

”No you’re not!” Despair coloured Sylvia’s fury. Her hand lost its strength within Ember’s grip and she did not rip herself away, her wide eyes desperately parsing her… sister…? Friend… Comrade…? “Their” face. ”You’re speaking just like Grandfather and Grandmother.”

”I… I am so sorry, Hiramatsu-san. I do not know how else I could convey my intentions.”

”Y-you’re doing it again, Ember.” Fear. No, terror. So much that Ember let go of Sylvia’s hand and the emptiness inside the schemer roared with needle-laced laughter. ”Please don’t lie to me, Ember. Please tell me what I did wrong and why you’re like this. I don’t know if you’re my friend, but I think you could be. Please?” The laughter seized Ember’s limbs. It placed an all too heavy mantle upon her shoulders, chattering and snickering exactly like Sylvia’s abusers. The schemer refused to let it show, for she had to be strong.

”I can not tell you what you have done wrong, Hiramatsu-san, because as far as I am concerned, you are not at fault. I am the one in the wrong. If you find it difficult to accept my offer, please think of a way for me to prove my sincerity.” Tears started to bud in Sylvia’s eyes. Ember had no idea why.

”You’re lying. You’re lying, you’re lying, you’re lying! Please stop it!” Every time the protector repeated her plea, the dreadful laughter inside Ember grew stronger and more warped. It echoed, reverberating and turning into ice-cold static. Her skin grew goosebumps. Pins danced along her insides, threatening to spill them out, but even so, she held out, asking her next question with the utmost care.

”Can I please hear why you think that way?”

---

Hibusa Town’s streets turned into cracked ruins as a frantic magical girl blitzed through them. Hurricane-force winds forced people off sidewalks, giving rise to many-a-rumor. Windows rattled and some buildings had their corners gouged out as Hotaru sank her gauntlet into them, using them as pivots. Her victims included the occasional streetlight as well, which bent beneath her reckless use of force. Focused as she was on finding her missing comrades - they might have been traitors, but they were still important! - she almost made her hospital rampage pale in comparison.

Where were they?! She expected this sort of behaviour from Ember, especially given she wanted to protect the light bitches. But Sylvia? She would never dare to hurt a fly, never mind go against what was good for Hotaru. Or were they perhaps in cahoots?

The warrior slowed her pace. The whirlwind turned into an unpleasant gust that still menaced people in its way, but was somewhat gentle at least. Choosing a more methodical approach to her search as her head cooled, Hotaru started to comb the streets over one by one while extending her magical senses. Well, extending them as much as she was capable of.

Her efforts were rewarded. Soon, she picked up on the faint scent of magic in the air, along with the suspicious lack of people in one of the alleyways. Stopping at the entrance, she saw two figures with all-too-familiar bearings: one ever-so-pretentious while the other carried the courage of a mouse trying to stand up to a ravenous cat.

”What the hell are you two doing?!” Her shout echoed in the empty street, causing both of them to flinch. Served them right. ”I almost got my ass handed to me because of you two!” Hotaru did not even attempt to hide her vicious grin as she advanced on them. She did not care what the other two were discussing and she did not notice how Sylvia shrunk back the moment she appeared, but she definitely noticed Ember stepping in front of the protector.

Hotaru’s eyebrows hiked up in response.

”’Ru.” Ember’s blue eyes narrowed. They contained something Hotaru had not seen before, but she could not quite place it. ”I understand that you are upset, however, would you be so ki-”

”No. I’m pissed off beyond words and I need an explanation for what happened back there. I could’ve been skewered like Sylvia!” She snapped her hand towards the protector as though it were a whip, causing Sylvia to shrivel up even further. Hotaru’s heart twinged at the sight, but she pressed on nevertheless. It was not like either of them would ever understand her, even if she shouted at them at the top of her lungs!

”You two disappeared like two filthy traitors. If all of us had been there, we could’ve taken all of them! We could’ve delivered the light bitches’ heads to Rei on a silver plate. What was so important that you had to betray me?!”

”Silence, ‘Ru. I am trying to- ah.” It was fortunate that Ember cut herself off before she made an even bigger asshole of herself. She likely was thinking of an excuse to throw at the warrior, though, which was just fine with Hotaru. If Ember did not care about her safety, then she could go screw herself!

And why did Sylvia meet Hotaru’s eyes head on? That never happened.

”I… I don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

Hotaru had to restrain her laughter at that.

”Yeah, no way that’s happening.” Did Sylvia perhaps live in a delusion? Well, she would be happy to dispel it for the protector. ”We’re dark magical girls, Sylvia. We’re fighting against Miseria. You will get hurt, whether you like it or not. If you don’t want to be hurt, then don’t fight with us ever again.”

”Please hear Hiramatsu-san out, ‘Ru… No, Hotaru.” What? What was Ember talking about? Hotaru’s brows frowned while Sylvia retreated into her shell again and the schemer… She still wore an expression the warrior could not make heads or tails of.

”While we can definitely not make her wish come true, she deserves not to be burdened so much with every one of our encounters. And I am also so sorry to you, Hotaru. I have failed you as well.”

”Huh?!” Now Hotaru lost the plot completely. She turned towards Ember with the entirety of her body, glaring daggers at her supposed comrade-in-arms. ”She,” she pointed towards Sylvia, ”Also deserves not to be called by the name of those old assholes! She endured everything just so she could get us out, so why the fuck are you trying to remind her?”

Heated as she was, the warrior did not notice how Sylvia started to collapse. Her gaze dropped to the floor and it looked as though all of her life had started to escape her.

”Please don’t talk like that.” The protector’s whisper stopped the warrior cold in her tracks, causing the tension between Ember and Hotaru to waver. ”You sound like Grandfather.”

For a moment, it seemed as though her words reached Hotaru, but then she crossed her arms and adopted a scowl.

”Oh, now I get why you’re taking her side. You two teamed up against me just because you can’t admit I’m right about light girls.”

”Please hear me ou-”

”Well I won’t!” Hotaru’s scowl became more prominent. ”Why should I listen when you’re trying to get rid of me? You too, Sylvia! You’re using your goody-two-shoes act just to make sure I get smoked!”

”We were trying to do no su-”

”That’s exactly what some-”

”Will you even attempt to unclog your ears already?” Ice cold precision cut through the warrior’s objections with laser-focused intensity. ”And do open your eyes. Even if I have mistreated you and not heard you out as well as I should have, we have to work together. And there is no possible reality in which we can do that unless you hear… Sylvia out as well. You have every right to be furious with me. But Hiramatsu-san does not deserve any of it.”

”But she deserves your contempt, doesn’t she?” Pure, vicious venom coated Hotaru’s words. Combined with the mockery she injected into them, she sounded as though she spoke a language of pure, undiluted hatred.

”Please stop…” As always, Sylvia’s pleas went unheard. “Their” argument never left any room for her. “They” always excluded her. She never mattered to “Them”, so she did not even know why she tried. Only that “They” were impossibly important to her. Just like the gods of the Hiramatsu shrine.

”If you think she deserves my contempt, then look at what your supposedly compassionate words caused.” Ember’s words were like a gunshot fired in the middle of an empty field. Hotaru almost snarled back at her challenge to do war, but thought better of it at the last second just to prove her wrong-

Sylvia had curled up into a whimpering ball. She had not even noticed.

The warrior’s breath hitched.

”... Shit.”

”Need I remind you what you said only a few moments ago?” Hotaru clenched her fists along with her teeth. Her eyes closed as she tried to rein in her anger, because for once, Ember was right. ”Oh, that is exactly correct. She endured everything just so she could get us out of that household, if it could be even called that. So why are you reminding her of what happened?”

”Fine. But I better hear an explanation, or you’re toast.” Fortunately for the schemer, there was no refuting that argument. Hotaru really had caused Sylvia pain despite the best of her intentions. ”I’m not angry at you, Sylvia. So hurry up and get up already.”

”You’re lying.” Sylvia’s whisper froze the air. The warrior felt as though blocks of ice had just lodged themselves into her lungs, grinding and cracking against each other. ”You hate me, Hotaru. You hate everything. Why do you hate me? Are you really my friend? Friends don't hate each other, so they?” The protector sounded hollow. Broken. She was quiet as a mouse and yet her words struck as though they were earth-shattering strikes.

Ember shot a look towards Hotaru, promising retribution if the warrior were to attempt anything. Then Ember lowered herself beside Sylvia, gently brushing away a thread of the girl’s hair to get her attention.

”Sylvia. I know you desperately wish for us not to be in pain. However, this is something Hotaru and I need to talk about without you, because I do not think it is good for you to hear us shouting at each other. There are…” The schemer sucked air through her teeth. She let her voice tremble and shake as though it were a newborn calf, trying to see if showing her true emotions would get through to Sylvia. “...many things you shouldn't have had to do for our sake. So please leave. Go home and cook something delicious for yourself. For your sake.”

Green eyes looked up at the schemer. They filled with countless questions and belonged to someone who truly lost their way and in response, the hollow laughter inside Ember turned into an evil, satisfied grin. Still, the schemer did not let it win; and yet as much as she hated to admit it, she could not answer all of the protector’s wishes right here.

”Please, Sylvia. I promise I will answer all your questions later and listen to you properly.” Sylvia nodded in response to Ember, an automatic response. She then collected herself off the ground, moving almost as though she were a robot. Then slowly, she moved away. Every second step, she glanced back. Every third step, it seemed like she had something to say. But eventually, Sylvia chose to disappear in the town’s streets.

”Okay, spill. What happened? Why does Sylvia hate me?” The moment Sylvia disappeared, Hotaru stopped holding back. She let her scowl take over her face again, her heated words turning into a spear of flames aimed straight at Ember.

”Shouldn't you be asking the very same question of yourself, Hotaru? Why do you hate Sylvia?” A wall of ice stood in front of the warrior’s thrust, seemingly impregnable.

”I don't.” The spear twisted, trying to drill into the obstacle. The wall did not budge.

”I believe Sylvia clearly told you that she feels as though you hate her, and looking at your actions, I am inclined to believe her words over yours. So, do allow me to repeat myself: Why do you hate Sylvia?”

”I’ve just told you I don't!” The attack could not penetrate. It was slowing down, getting stuck in the ice despite Hotaru’s best efforts. Ember seemed like an immovable object, her calm extinguishing every bit of venom the warrior spat at her.

”Then I invite you to stop acting as though every bone in your body were made of hate.” Ember’s counterattack started as frost started to creep up along the spear, slowly creeping towards the warrior’s hands. ”I know I have failed Sylvia. As you would put it, Hotaru, you could even say I fucked her over. However, I have realised this and I wish to make amends. Do you intend to do the same? Do you even really care about Sylvia? You do not, do you?”

”You don’t get to tell me what I think! Get off your fucking high horse already, Ember! You aren’t better than I am! What, are you some sort of light bitch now? You keep talking like one!” Hotaru attempted to put more momentum behind her spear. The frost kept it in place.

”I am only attempting to rely you Sylvia’s intentions and emotions the best I understand them, and in the best way to get them through your thick skull, Hotaru. And I am no light girl; I want to see if I have to get rid of you in order to protect Sylvia.”

”Even if I hated Sylvia, It’s her fault for-”

”No. What did you tell-”

”You don't get to interrupt me!”

”And in exchange, you have the privilege of cutting me off?”

”Only because I’m right.”

”Then I invite you to consider the following.” The frost snapped off the lance’s head. However, it would never reach the warrior behind the weapon. ”You are not always right and neither am I. So I will extend the same courtesy to you as you have to me: I will not be helping you jump between bodies. I will not be helping you out in combat. I will continue to do these until you realise your mistakes. That is final.” And with that, Ember spun around, leaving with hurried steps.

”You’ll regret all of this! The club will find out in seconds, and then we’ll be toast!” Hotaru shouted after the schemer. But all she got in response was a shake of the head before Ember, too, disappeared in the messy streets of Hibusa Town.

Kurai Majokko: Tsundere Gekido

Why did no one respond to her call? Normally, even when they did not help each other or refused to, there would be something in Shuuko’s skull that she could sense. Yet it was completely empty. So much that if she imagined dropping a pin, then it would result in an echo coming back to her. Which meant she was completely alone for the first time in her life. It should have been as freeing as having this body to herself.

Instead, it drove a spike of terror into her chest. Just in time for the baseball bat to slam into her and send her flying. Normally, an attack like that would not be allowed to hit as Sylvia would have either warned the warrior, or she would have caused Shuuko’s body to take a step back, but without that protection, Hotaru flew through the air like a particularly graceless rock. Her gauntlets dragged her downwards face first, but at least she had the wherewithal to draw her arms in and tuck her head into the envelope she created.

She called out to Sylvia once again as she flew, all but shouting the protector’s name into the void. As expected, she received no answer. It had been a shot in the dark anyways, so the warrior grit her teeth as she tried to pull herself into a ball, knowing that the impact would hurt like hell without her comrade being there to shoulder most of the pain. However, it seemed that the Detention Club’s supervisor had other plans.

Nocnitsa emerged out of nowhere, catching the warrior by the torso, then spinning around to bleed off the momentum before switching to holding her like a saddlebag. The warrior had little time to react and even if she could, her focus completely slipped from the fight. Instead of paying attention, the only thing she did was stand, her expression frozen in a mixture of shock and betrayal.

Why….? Why had the others left her? Why did they no longer respond? Sure, she did not treat them exactly right if she was honest with herself, but did she really deserve something like this? Surely, she did not do something that had them disappear without even a word. Ember even tried to talk it out several times! Maybe they got upset she had not listened? But they were not listening either! They knew that light girls would only end up sinking their blades into their backs!

But Sylvia, she found even stranger. The schemer could do awful things for the sake of the greater good, but the protector would never hurt a fly. Or perhaps this is how she started out, abandoning the warrior when she needed the protector the most. The thought sent her into dark places and she barely noticed being set down on her foot, lost as she was in her own world. She barely even sensed Roche reaching out to her as she looked forward, trying to figure out what happened.

Even worse, as she rooted around in her own head, she could no longer sense the other bodies as well as before. Their presence seemed muted, distant and if she attempted to reach out to them, the distance turned effectively infinite. She might have been able to do it if she strained her magic to the limit and expended every mote, but that would leave her vulnerable to attack.

That was what snapped Hotaru out of it at the end. With a twisted expression, she returned to reality and prepared to rip apart the light girls for…

…

Where the hell did they go?!

The traitorous bitches disappeared into the aether as though nothing had happened. Hell, even most of the Detention Club vanished on her! What the fuck!

Hotaru slammed her gauntlet into the ground, creating a new-found crater in the pavement. Debris flew everywhere as she used all of her magic-augmented strength to vent her frustration, turning three or four inches of ground into shrapnel before she literally fell into her own trap, causing her knees to buckle. Then, just to add insult to injury, she hit her head on one of her gauntlets.

”Fuck!” She cried out. ”I can’t even sense Misera nearby…” Of course she could not. That was Sylvia’s job for the most part. She never learned how to really tune into her magical senses save for the instinctive understanding that every magical girl had, because she never had to. And now that her comrades were gone, she would be paying the price.

What even happened to them? Could they have been destroyed because of… whatever the hell happened back then? Were they dead? No, she could not think of it that way. She needed to find them somehow!