Hunger Games: THE SPAM BOWL: End of the Year Championship Round

[Dinh AaronMk]

>Robbie is dead

RIP. Let us sing the funeral song.



But at least Birdie's burning of Trump makes him the new lead contender.

[Vilageidiotx]

Here we go again! Night four, with only nineteen of our forty eight alive. Who will the winner be? Birdie Sanders, who burned Trump alive despite being a little bitty song bird? Putin, who has become death after killing Stefan? Or maybe Prince can use his prescience, or Shoryu use the fact that he conquered Britain.



She just can't understand it. Bernie died, Trump died, and she herself killed Obama, but she still hasn't won this thing. Is it too much to ask that she win something for once? She screams out into the night, hoping that somebody might come to her assistance.

Jill Stein and Pokemon go move to Britain with Shoryu, and they share guard duty with him.

CNN questions his sanity. He has discovered that it doesn't matter Broby killed Fake News, because the Fake News is inside all of us.

Birdie Sanders, on a roll after killing Trump, hacks into Bowser's e-mails. How much of a scandal will it cause when his minions discover exactly why he keeps kidnapping the princess? Probably won't be a game-changer for us, since e-mails aren't a prime worry of Hunger Games.

Betty White, living in Shoryu's old hut all alone now, rests her weary head.

Fire-starting has been difficult for Chapa in these games, but he comes up with a solution. His clothes burn quick enough, but since he has no clothes, he can't play that trick again.

Putin and the Phantom of the Opera teamed up last time, but even together and with Putin's powers, they meet their match in the Basket of Deplorables. Putin and The Phantom forgot that a few days ago Keyguyperson sent the Deplorables a Mosin-Nagant with five shots. It only took two to defend himself this time, with three bullets left for later.

Duterte has had an interesting time. He did good early on, collecting weapons, preparing himself for war. But his mind slipped and he began to wonder why he wasn't David Bowie. This question drove him insane, leading up to exactly this moment when he kills the real David Bowie in an attempt to become him. Also, for his supplies I guess.

Prince woos the Waifu. All she ever needed is somebody weird enough to accept her kinks, and she might have found it in this man with a symbol for a name.

Leo goes to sleep and dreams about Clocktower Echoes. They never ran into each other, and Clocktower Echoes has done little else notable than lose a hand, but he is still at the center of Leo's thoughts.

Shifty, having been wounded by David Bowie during the day, nurses his wounds and revels in the fact that David Bowie himself met a cruel fate at the hands of Rodrigo Duterte.



With the blood of Putin and the Phantom of the Opera still dripping from his wickerwork, the Basket of Deplorables shouts his battle cry.

Shifty, feeling better today, takes a walk.

Dicks out for Birdie Sanders. Come on guys, lets do it. He's earned this.

Pokemon GO pleads for his life, but to no avail. Leo dedicates this kill to Clocktower Echoes.

CNN sues Kellog for something. Kellog must wonder why tributes in the 2016 championship games are so eager to sue them.

One-handed Clocktower Echoes hasn't done much in these games until now. Bolstered by Leo's thoughts, Clocktower stabs Betty White in the back.

Hillary, an unoriginal politician to her dying day, copies Bernie Sanders and dies exactly as he did.

Chapa, completely naked, owns nothing in this world but a slingshot, some honey, and some fresh water. Jill Stein steals these from him, leaving him with absolutely nothing but himself.

A Waifu joins CNN in what is becoming a class action suit.

Rodrigo, perhaps still in his Bowie delusion, goes on the warpath.

Shoryu catches some fish but doesn't eat it. He didn't conquer Britain for the cod.

Prince moves straight from kissing A Waifu and makes love to Bowser. Prince is only two S's away from Princess, which is close enough for Bowser.



The only surprising one here is Putin. I thought he had a shot. But like so many mid-game front runners before, he hit bad luck like a brick wall. That's six dead, leaving 13 still living.

[BrokenPromise]

Prince is an otaku confirmed.

Didn't expect the deplorables to be mighty enough to kill Putin.

[ArenaSnow]

Didn't expect the deplorables to be mighty enough to kill Putin.

@BrokenPromise

Never underestimate the power of the deplorable...

[Dinh AaronMk]

The race tightens.

[Vilageidiotx]

Putin has been killed, David Bowie was murdered by an identity-confused Rodrigo Duterte, and the Chapatrap has no clothes. We start today's round of games with 13 living tributes. By the end of this post, only six will still draw breath.



Bowser, his e-mail compromised, spends the fifth night whittling javelins and planning his revenge.

Chapa, naked and afraid, proves no match for Rodrigo Duterte with his gun and sword. Still, Rodrigo stays his weapons and instead resorts to cucking Chapa. I honestly don't know what that word means anymore, so I certainly don't know what it means in this context.

A Waifu, having thus far spent the games chasing love and sneaking peeps at bathing men, comes out swinging and kills Birdie Sanders. Birdie spent the early game perpetually wounding himself, but he become impressive in the mid-game where he burned Trump to death and received an official Dicks Out.

Shoryu seemed to be doing well when he conquered the Cornucopia, but his behavior since the conquest has been uneventful. First he caught fish he didn't need, now he fails to climb a tree, not only breaking his neck, but Leonardo's too. The last thing Leonardo was thinking about before he was smashed by a falling Shoryu was no doubt Clocktower Echoes.

Shifty, having explored the arena, finds a place overrun with bats. He fights them off though, claiming a previously unexplored place in the arena as his own.

Jill Stein, after seeing the Basket of Deplorables kill Putin and shout a fearsome battle cry, falls in love, and convinces the Deplorables to reciprocate the relationship.

Prince follows Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton into the drowning lake. You'd think a man capable of seeing into the future would know how to avoid such a simple death. But maybe he had not reason to avoid it at all, and seeing into 2017 he chose to take his own life in the most comfortable way he could think.

CNN, having sued Kellog, gets cornered by the government for tax fraud. Is this revenge, or did the lawsuit show discrepancies worthy of an audit?

Clocktower Echoes receives food from an unknown sponsor. Probably the now dead Leonardo DiCaprio doing his version of that movie where Patrick Swayze is a ghost trying to use Whoopie Goldberg to bang a Demi Moore.



Clocktower Echoes avenges David Bowie and Chapatrap by killing Rodrigo Duterte. Clocktower is getting brutal, having just killed Betty White the day before. What would Leonardo DiCaprio say about this?

Bowser, a hand full of javelins, joins the class-action suit against Kellog.

A Waifu, the little birdie blood of Birdie Sanders dripping from her sickle, builds a shack to store Birdie as a trophy and prepare for the late game, where he newfound capacity for violence makes her a serious candidate.

"Dicks our for Jill Stein" is the new battlecry of the Basket of Deplorables.

Shifty shows us how he fought off the bats, with his shifty bow and shifty arrows.

Maybe not all was good in paradise. After cuddling with Jill Stein for one night, the Deplorables make a sudden desperate attempt to climb out of the arena. They fail and die.

CNN goes looking for corners of the arena where the IRS are not.



We lose a few potential power players today. Though it shouldn't be a surprise that Chapa died after he burned all his clothes and had all his weapons stolen, there are some impressive names here. Rodrigo, despite being delusional, was well armed and on a succesful war path. The Deplorables, having killed Putin of all people, looked like a real contender right up until the moment they kill themselves escaping the tender grasp of Jill Stein. Shoryu conquered the Cornucopia, only to die in an accident falling out of a tree, meaning the Cornucopia itself, having first been held by Hitler, then by Boris Johnson, then by Shoryu, now lays abandoned. And Prince? He could see into the future, but he's still dead all the same.

That leaves us with Jill Stein, Shifty Kebab Seller, CNN, Clocktower Echoes, A Waifu, and Bowser still in the running. One of those six will be the Champion of 2016. Next time, we will find out who takes the crown and goes home.

[BrokenPromise]

Clocktower is doing pretty good for a one-handed dude.

I knew Shoryu had at least one kill left in him, I just didn't expect it to be Leonardo AND himself.

[Vilageidiotx]

This is it. After tonight, we will not only know who the champion is for these Hunger Games, we will know the champion for all of 2016!

Will it be Jill Stein; who chased Leonardo DiCaprio while he swung from vine to vine across the arena; who stole the last of Chapatrap's stuff after he burned all his clothes; and who fell in love with the Basket of Deplorables, causing him die in an attempt to flee from her?

Will it be Shifty Kebab Seller; who ascended to memehood after Leonardo DiCaprio failed to outmeme him; who was admired by CNN and spared by David Bowie; and who fought off bats with a simple bow and arrow?

Will it be CNN; who bashed in Rio's head with a mace at the very beginning of the games; who survived Broby's pogrom against the news media; who teabagged Bernie's waterlogged corpse; who spent a night escaping a net, then the very next day helped Prince to kill Mr Rogers and Gene Wilder; and who is currently being investigated for Tax Fraud?

Will it be Clocktower Echoes; who on the very first day lost a hand to Arnold Schwarzenegger and was left wandering delirious through the arena until he was revived by schnapps given to him by KnightShade; who forgot where Aleppo after a single conversation with Gary Johnson; who was the dream of Leonardo DiCaprio despite having murdered Betty White; and who later went on to kill a confused but well armed Rodrigo Duterte?

Will it be a Waifu; who was bullied by both Birdie and Bernie Sanders; who watched Boris Johnson bathing in a stream one day, was bullied on Twitter by Betty White, then went straight to watching Dat Boi bathing on the next day; who had a short relationship with the Phantom of the Opera until he died, then went on to a relationship with Prince until he committed suicide; and who then killed Birdie Sanders and constructed a shack to store his corpse in?

Will it be Bowser; who had so much water on hand that it gave him nightmares; who terrorized HaleytheRandom from her carefully constructed home before killing her with a sword; and who had his e-mail hacked by Birdie Sanders, causing him to take the edge off by making love with Prince in the shade of a tree?

Well, let's find out.



Jill Stein is absolutely certain she has this thing in the bag. And this is not the mere certainty of a third-party candidate: not a series of hollow positive words that must be said because nobody is supposed to admit defeat. No, this is dead certainty. She knows she is going to win, there is no doubt about it.

Shifty Kebab Seller, however, will not be winning. He wasted his time shooting at bats to scare them off, and even though that worked, it doesn't seem like he killed any he could eat. Alone, on the far corner of the arena, he starves to death after his last arrow whistles uselessly into the sky.

CNN discovers how to access twitter. With Trump dead, there isn't much on twitter to interest CNN though.

Clocktower Echoes finds it difficult to start much of a fire with only one hand, and he gives up on trying.

A Waifu, meanwhile, is starting to take this survival stuff seriously. She sits in her hut with the corpse of Birdie Sanders, drinking her own piss, preparing for the end.

Bowser doesn't take it as well as his eskimo sister, however. Hounded by an e-mail scandal and with Prince no longer here to console him, Bowser makes a suicidal attempt to escape and dies.

Two down, four to go. The runners up now are Jill Stein, Clocktower Echoes, CNN, and a Waifu.



While Jill Stein practices her archery for the victory she is so certain of, the rest of the tributes make a pact to kill her. With the odds now three to one against her, Jill Stein's confidence is beginning to look misplaced.



At sunset, two cannon shots call out the death of Shifty and Bowser, both essentially self-inflicted.



CNN injured himself and stays behind, leaving the other two members of the Grand Alliance against Jill Stein to go ahead without him. Jill Stein somehow learns about this alliance and realizes the odds are now stacked against her. She becomes desperate and screams for help, hoping maybe that one us, the faceless watchers, might intercede.

But little does she know that help won't be necessary, because not too far away treachery strikes our Grand Alliance! A Waifu realizes the opportunity that has been presented to her now that she has Clocktower Echoes alone and unwitting in these woods. She strikes fast, bashing Clocktower Echoes head against a rock, killing him and officially dissolving the alliance against Jill Stein.



A Waifu comes to an injured CNN and tells him what she just did to Clocktower Echoes. CNN has to admit it was a good move, and admires how well she has played the game.

But Jill Stein doesn't know what has just transpired, and scared witless that the Grand Alliance is still together and out to get her, she attempts to scurry out of the arena and fails, dying an unnecessary death.



CNN and a Waifu knew about how Clocktower Echoes died, but they didn't know about Jill Stein. It's when the cannon fires two shots that they know the full story about what has happened.

It's down to the two of them. CNN, and a Waifu. The sun sets. It's inevitable. One of them must die. Is a Waifu's plan complete, and CNN helpless in the hands of this master survivor? Or does CNN have something up his sleeve that will turn the tide? When you are ready to find out

Open

The

Hider!

And the winner is...

CNN was helpless after all. His admiration for the Waifu didn't come from a place a safety where he knew he had her no matter how clever she was. No, that was the admiration of a news network that knows the ratings have came in against him, but accepts his fate with dignity and respect for the girl who defeated him. A Waifu really was that good of a player. Even as CNN's brains still dribble from the rock she killed him with, A Waifu is brought into 2017 alive and victorious.

From now on, until we are all old and shopping for urns to be dead in, 2016 will be remembered as "The Year of A Waifu". It is her year, and she is it's champion.

Post-game Stats

[Chapatrap]

All Hail A Waifu!

[ArenaSnow]

Blimey. There went my primary, fallback and double-fallback picks...

[BrokenPromise]

Amazing narration as always Vilageidiotx.

[ClocktowerEchos]

Well, I'm impressed with how far I got; already won one before so I can't complain lol
I'm just wondering which waifu did me in in end since it could either be expected, unexpected or "y u do dis"

[Dinh AaronMk]

Holy shit Jill Stein almost had a pacifist run there.

But lo people: if you're now wondering if there'll be another don't get too upset (or, do, if that's your thing). When the dust of this New Years has settled the Arena will be thrown back into life, its corpses removed for another round of games ran by your truly.

And the twist of the games: you shall be in competition with another site.

Yes, that's right! You will be sharing the arena with not just yourselves and your own submissions but those from elsewhere. Memes will ensue next time on: Super Hunger Games Z:GTX!

Find out tomorrow, tonight, next month!

[JaceBeleren]

What is the software used for this?

[Vilageidiotx]

What is the software used for this?

@JaceBeleren

brantsteele.net/hungergames/reaping.php

and MSpaint

[Dinh AaronMk]

<Snipped quote by JaceBeleren>

brantsteele.net/hungergames/reaping.php

and MSpaint

@Vilageidiotx

Or if you're me, Photoshop.