Hunger Games: THE SPAM BOWL: End of the Year Championship Round

[BrokenPromise]

Is it bad that I needed to use google to figure out exactly what I gave Obama?

And I think this is the worst Hitler has ever done, but I could be mistaken.

[ClocktowerEchos]

Ahh sweet jesus, I got my hand cut off? ßrü†ål

I wonder what Trump is doing right now with MLK is him trying to get both the black and the homosexual ote.

[Vilageidiotx]

And I think this is the worst Hitler has ever done, but I could be mistaken.

@BrokenPromise

well, there was the holocaust.

[Dinh AaronMk]

And since Robbie Rotten is still alive:

[Keyguyperson]

Not my boy Mevlut!

[Majoraa]

Theres gonna be a betrayal kill in the reptile (and wrestler) team, I'm calling it.

[Vilageidiotx]

Broby's on the warpath against the news media, Arnie bullies contestants smaller and weaker than himself, and the flag of the United Kingdom flies over a Cornucopia recently liberated from the Nazi's. All of this happened on the first day. Now the sun goes down, night gathers, and our tributes do things they might never dare do in the light.



Mr Rogers brings Bowser and Pokemon GO together to sing a song. Nearby, CNN climbs a tree to rest, and to get a birds-eye view of the news before it is news. Perhaps CNN can see Trump down below, tending the wounds he received fom receiving Martin Luther King Jr.

Carrie Fisher is tired of being picked on. First she was bullied by Arnie, then she was bullied by her own clumsiness. She takes her frustrations out on Broby, the journalistic crusader, and slices him wide open. Broby dies, his only regret being that he left some news alive to report the events of these Hunger Games.

Having constructed a shack, Haley now builds a hammock. Everybody else is playing Hunger Games, while she is playing Minecraft.

Harambe attacks MLK jr, but Trump's familiar, the Trump Pepe, protects his boss's lover and kills Harambe. The only dicks that'll be out this time will be Trump's and King's.

MSNBC, no longer hunted by Broby, uses a trick from Broby's book and kills Muhammad Ali with some taint.

Lincoln shows that, even if he is scared of the outdoors, he at least knows how to handle himself here. He builds his fire and tends to it responsibly. Chapa, on the other hand, can't even get a fire going.

Shoryu takes the trail mix he received from VarionusNW and makes a shelter out of it, and then he invites President Obama in with his Chu-Ko-Nu to share it with him.

The Basket of Deplorables makes fun of Shifty Kebab (git out our cuntry ding-derned mooslam!). Shifty, usually a patient man, rages on twitter somehow.



Stefan Karl Stefansson mocks Jill Stein, causing Alec Baldwin to join in and start fighting with Mrs Stein.

Clocktower Echoes, dazed after having lost his hand to Arnie, wanders hapless through the woods unsure what is going on.

Arnie joins the Democratic party and sings songs. Possibly in Hillary's mud-hut where Arnie and Bernie, who has thus far only achieved bullying a Waifu, can swap stories about being mean to people.

Dat Boi is such an amazing guy that Gene Wilder is star struck, and perhaps a little aroused, by meeting him.

Meanwhile Putin, lost from his hunting group, walks confused through the woods with a basket of bread still splattered with Chapa's nose blood.

A Waifu, Gary Johnson, and Leonardo DiCaprio trade ghosts stories with a phantom. Phantom's probably going to be good at this, Japan can do a ghost story, and Leonardo can probably just tell Shutter Island, but what does Gary Johnson have? "Once a city came out of the mist, unheard of by anybody, called Aleppo..."

Prince isn't sure if he is sane, though all he has done is grab a taco and then help MSNBC. Meanwhile, Betty White doesn't seem to question herself at all as she drinks her own piss on top of a hill.

Duterte and Birdie Sanders visit Boris Johnson in his newly anglicized Cornucopia base and just sort of chat about what is going to happen next. You can just imagine them sitting there, using Hitler's corpse as a bench, Birdie nursing his sprained ankle, Duterte dipping the sliced pieces of Hot Wing into the honey he gathered earlier, gossiping with Boris Johnson about the other players.

David Bowie tends to his genitals, they having been man-handled by a man-hungry Trump.

Death posts a Harambe meme. I guess he's probably mocking the recent death of Harambe at Trump Pepe's hands. Though perhaps in a few decades when somebody decides to write a monograph about 2016, "Death Posts a Harambe Meme" is as good a title as any.

[Dinh AaronMk]

Since there's no other election-themed We Are Number One meme, and I want to acknowledge Stefan:

[BrobyDDark]

In the end, I'm alive irl so SUCK IT, FISHER.

[Dinh AaronMk]

In the end, I'm alive irl so SUCK IT, FISHER.

@BrobyDDark

Don't speak so soon because IRL we're all playing the Hunger games.

Except it never ends because we keep bringing in new contestants.

[Majoraa]

Mah boi death had to make a harambe meme, hadn't he?

[Vilageidiotx]

Pat yourselves on the backs, ladies and gents, you've survived to see 2017. As we all recover from the partying we did last night celebrating the new number we have to memorize for signing paperwork, lets look back with pity on the surviving tributes of our Hunger Games still trapped behind us in the iron jaws of 2016. Only one of them will have the privilege of joining us in this brand new year. Today we'll see a fresh list of people who won't be that lucky one.



Hillary benghazis Obama. Sure it was Trump who beat her this year, but he's from the other party, that's what they are supposed to do. But Hillary didn't forget eight years ago, and she settles the score now.

Birdie Sanders, still suffering from a sprained leg, injures himself yet again. Nobody has done anything to Birdie Sanders mind you, he keeps doing this to himself. Lets hope the Phantom of the Opera isn't hunting for squab.

Bernie isn't doing too well either, and he just sort of falls in a frozen lake and dies while Jill Stein looks on from her Clinton style mud shelter. What's worse, CNN dregs his corpse out of the cold water and tea-bags poor Bernie one last time.

Pokemon Go, Trump-pepe, Putin, and Stefan Karl Stefansson team up to take out Lincoln. Honest Abe still has it. It took a pretty powerful team (and PokemonGO) to take him out despite his handicapped fear of the woods.

Gary Johnson goes exploring, trying to find any other places he may not be aware of.



HaleytheRandom takes time out of her busy construction schedule to go visit Betty White drinking urine on a hill and ask her for the sweet release of death. Betty White refuses, and HaleytheRandom is forced to look for another DIY to keep her occupied.

Bowser discovers a river, showing himself a better explorer than Gary Johnson. He then secretly gives some of this newly found water to Chapa.

Dat Boi doesn't abide bullies, and he kills Arnie in the back, killing him.

KnightShade collects left over schnapps from last night's festivities and gives them to his two favorite people in the world: Mr Rogers and Clocktower Echoes.

The circuit is dead in Shoryu Magami's trail mix house, possibly damaged in the blast that killed his roommate, Obama. Hopefully he gets that fixed. I'm also going to assume that he has inherited Obama's Chu-Ko-Nu.

Trump Chases MSNBC, probably trying to get himself some Joe Scarborough ass.

Rodrigo Duterte, leaving the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Ireland, and Cornucopia, is blessed from on high by AaronMK with life-giving memes.

A Waifu, illegally immigrating into the Cornucopia, accidentally catches a glimpse of it's leader bathing in a stream. The Waifu stays, captivated by the pudgy frame, the middle aged skin covered in hair and discolorations, and she spends the afternoon watching.

An unknown sponsor heals the Prince, feeds the Baldwin, and arms Ziggy Stardust.

"Death shouts his battle cry." I should be writing down all these death events for later book titles.

The Deplorables look for water, not knowing of the Bowser River. Gene Wilder also goes looking for something. But for Leonardo DiCaprio, it is the matters of the heart that mean the most. He wants a thing he cannot find by exploring; he wants home.



Fifteen lay slain on the field of hunger games. Thirty three still live.

[KnightShade]

I see Hillary took the title of Founder of ISIS in the traditional manner

[Dinh AaronMk]

You know, I'm not going to post a We're Number One meme today.

[Chapatrap]

I didn't realise I was involved in this at all but now I'm excited to see how I will survive yet another RPGuild Hunger Games.

[Vilageidiotx]

The second day is over, and the second night begins. And though we've lost many; Broby to the blade-master Carrie Fisher, Obama to the vengeful mind of his 2008 primary opponent, Lincoln to a complex assassination plot, and Bernie to a lake, there are plenty of other tributes on the ground ready to fight for their lives.



Broby gets revenge beyond the grave? A trap of unidentified make ensnares CNN and leaves that network dangling helpless above the forest.

Leonardo DiCaprio stops feeling sorry for himself, puts home out of his mind, and arms himself with memes to take down Shifty. But Shifty knows memes, and he absorbs the attack, becoming a powerful meme unto himself. 2017 will be the year of the Shifty Kebab Seller.

The first night, Mr Rogers cheerfully sung songs with PokemonGO and Bowser. Night two however sees Mr Rogers drunk on the Schnapps he received from KnightShade, putting him in an angrier mood and inspiring him to make weapons.

HaleytheRandom receives clean water. Hopefully this will put her back on her feet after her breakdown on Betty White's piss mound.

Rodrigo Duterte wishes he was Bowie. Was this a revelation fed to him by the memes he received from Aaron? Or is Duterte jealous that a big strong man like Trump would chose David Bowie for his experiments with man-pussy?

Birdie Sanders, suffering from a sprained leg and another separate injury, tries to keep calm and sing himself to sleep. He is a bird, so the singing shouldn't be that difficult.

Bowser, sleeping next to his newly discovered Bowser River, has nightmares. He hasn't done much this time around to warrant those nightmares. The first thing he did upon entering the arena was find a canteen full of water. And just now he has found a river... maybe that's it. Maybe all this water is keeping him up. I bet he's having those pee nightmares, where he has to go in his dream but he just doesn't for whatever reason.

Pokemon GO doesn't have Mr Rogers and Bowser to sing with, so he quietly hums his theme song and tries to get some sleep.

The Phantom of the Opera looks up. Somebody gives Britain a Weapon of Minor Destruction. Shoryu, both his roommate and his circuit dead, has had a bad day, and he cries himself to sleep.



Putin kills Trump Pepe in a stunning upset. The two worked together to kill Lincoln, but even with the emancipator's blood still warm on both their hands, Putin turns around and brutally kills the Pepe. The last thing Trump Pepe sees is Putin's smiling face, a knife in his hand, Pepe's blood splattered all over him.

Alec Baldwin received fresh food last time. Now he eats a worm. I guess the worm must have been the fresh food he received? Or maybe he's just really hungry. Fighting with Jill Stein might have taken a lot out of him calorically speaking.

Meanwhile, Trump is in love. MSNBC, the one that got away, having literally ran away, now has Trump's heart. He spends the night scratching "MSNBC" into a tree.

Somebody rewards Carrie Fisher for killing Broby by giving her bombs.

Many of our tributes form temporary truces and spend the night in conversation, but not Betty White. She sits alone on her hill and bitches about the Waifu on the internet. This isn't the first time the Waifu has been shit on like this; Birdie Sanders scared her right out of the gate, and Bernie Sanders followed it up by flipping her off unprovoked. The only victory she can really claim this season is an extended viewing of a naked Boris Johnson, if we are going to consider that a win.

Somebody sends Dat Boi first aid. Dat Boi is just dat cool. He had a really bad ass intro, he made Gene Wilder blush, and he killed the bully Arnie because bullies are not cool. Of course people are going to give him things! He deserves those things!

Stefan Karl Stefansson is cornered by Martin Luther King JR and Death himself, but in an amazing twist, he kills them both. This means that, in 2016 when death was taking celebrities left and right, Stefan Karl Stefansson fought back and killed death.

Hillary finds out how everybody has been tweeting all this time. Clocktower Echoes looks at the stars, but Prince looks into the void, seeing what the world will be like in 2017, and it scares him.



The loser at the beginning of day three is the bees. Hillary and Chapa take off with their honey and leave them destitute.

Alec Baldwin fishes. Seems like he could have saved that worm and used it for this? We'll give him a pass, there is no reason to think he'd have this survival stuff down before our games started.

A Waifu is starting to get creepier than Donald Trump now. Yesterday she spent all day watching Boris Johnson bathe, today she spends all day watching Dat Boi do the same. Maybe all the hate she was receiving is justified.

Trump gets the same disease that killed Ted Cruz. This is where the joke about Republicans being full of shit comes in. For Trump though, I think this is simply what happens when you spend precious survival time chasing after men.

David Bowie flips off Gary Johnson. Don't know what Gary Johnson did to provoke Bowie, but it could have been worse since Bowie is also armed with explosives.

Leonardo gets away from Jill Stein by jumping from tree to tree. It's a brilliant get away plan because Jill Stein will stop and hug each and every tree along the way, and Leo will get away quickly.

A Basket of Deplorables and Pokemon GO are together I guess, but then they stop being together and search for resources.

Keyguyperson, having given a rifle to the Basket earlier on, now arms Rodrigo Duterte. Duterte has done pretty well for himself. Though he failed to be Bowie, he did manage to retrieve a sword, some honey, some memes from Aaron, and now a Mosin-Nagant from Keyguyperson.

Putin, his desire to kill not sated by the murder of the Pepe, drags a fish onto shore just to watch it drown in the open air.

Shifty Kebab is surprisingly allowed into Boris Johnson's Britain, and they join up with Stefan Karl Stefansson to hunt for other tributes.



MSNBC constructs a place to hide from Trump's exploratory probing.

Haley, just calming down after her emotional breakdown on night one, is scared witless by Bowser and forced to run away. Bowser now has the run of Haleytown, the area where she did her earlier construction projects.

CNN joins up with Prince to kill Gene Wilder and Mr Rogers. Turns out Mr Rogers drunkenly carved spears weren't enough.

Clocktower Echoes, having spent all night staring at the sky, spends the day sleeping.

Birdie Sanders recovers enough to help Carrie Fisher search for resources.

The Phantom of the Opera is having a nice time. So far he has shared resources with Leonardo DiCaprio and Alec Baldwin, just stood there and admired Jill Stein, went hunting, watched the night sky, and now he picks flowers. He's having something of a vacation here.

Betty White leaves her hill on the third day and joins a romantic liaison with Shoryu.



Some of these are surprising, other ones not as much. The death of death seems like a proper send-up for 2016. I will mess the "Death does X" statements though.

[Majoraa]

One does not simply "kill" death.

They have many incarnations..and will come back bigger and badder, but not for now..one day death shall get back to work, reaping souls of the dying mortal and sending them to judgment.

meh,idk why I felt like writing that.

[Dinh AaronMk]

>tfw Robbie murders death
>tfw he isn't even one of your tributes

[Vilageidiotx]

Welcome back! It's night three now. Trumps love quest has been detoured by him shitting in a hole, Boris Johnson's Britain has welcomed the Shifty Kebab Seller with open arms, and Shoryu is shacking up with Betty White. Like Mr Rogers with his javelins, we are whittling down our contestants (while muttering), and the competition is growing thinner.



Dat Boi eats berries, but berries are poisonous to frogs. We consign this beloved meme to 2016 now, forever and ever.

MSNBC sees Boris Johnson and tries to kill him, most likely mistaking him for Donald Trump who has been stalking MSNBC. But Boris Johnson manages to correct that error, and MSNBC halts its attack. It is at that moment, when MSNBC is blushing and saying its apologies, that Boris Johnson lashes out and kills the cable news network. Now only CNN remains to tell us the news (god help us all).

Carrie Fisher mocks Alec Baldwin, but Alec Baldwin doesn't believe that famous people should mock other famous people, and he shoots Carrie Fisher in cold blood.

David Bowie cooks his food. The Basket of Deplorables gazes longingly at the night sky. But the world isn't so serene elsewhere. Putin continues his killing spree and kills Stefan Karl Stefansson. It appears that, by killing death, Stefan Karl Stefansson has merely let Putin ascend to the role, and as the new Death, Putin settles the score for his old predecessor.

Rodrigo, armed to the teeth, screams up at the night "WHY AM I NOT DAVID BOWIE!?!"

The Phantom of the Opera and the Waifu have no interest in violence. He has spent the games having a pleasant time, and she has spent them staring at naked men. They retire for the night together, where he may bathe in perfumed water, and she may watch from the closet.

Pokemon GO uses fire, but it failed.

Betty White screams for help. Which is worrisome since she is with Shoryu. Perhaps she is simply unaccustomed to civilized life after her two days on that hill?

Somebody gives Jill Stein vaccines, much to her annoyance.



Okay, I think we can safely say that Shoryu and Mrs White's relationship is breaking down. She is screaming for help in one room while he whittles sticks and mutters in another.

Birdie Sanders, who has spent the games mostly hanging out and injuring himself, commits a stunning upset when he takes Trump and burns him for warmth. Trump, having spent the whole day with dysentery, is probably dried out enough to burn easily.

Chapa, suffering from performance anxiety after seeing what Birdie did, fails to start a fire.

CNN admires Shifty Kebab Seller. Boris let Shifty into Britain, now CNN is admiring Shifty... Everybody loves Shifty!

Prince has yet another vision pertaining to 2017 and is again frightened by it. If Prince truly is clairvoyant, we are in trouble.

Gary Johnson spends every night in conversation, and tonight is no different.

HaleytheRandom had a reason to be scared of Bowser when she ran away from him earlier. He finds her again, and this time she doesn't escape. Bowser, having conquered her little personal village, now ends her life.

Hillary fails to start a fire too. Seems like she made one hell of a fire out of Obama earlier in the games, but in his death she seems to have shot her wad.



Putin, a man so brutal he replaced death, takes the gentlest of all the tributes and makes him his hunting partner.

A Waifu, saddened by the loss to Putin of a man who actually volunteered to spend time with her, injures herself.

Prince, having seen the evil 2017 shall bring, starts righting those wrongs. He starts by killing Gary Johnson and Alec Baldwin. What those two will do in the future is known only to Prince.

Shoryu takes his javelins from the night before (and maybe Obama's Chu-Ko-Nu) and invades Britain. The flag of Shoryu Magami now flies over the Cornucopia, this being the second time it has changed hands in the game.

Clocktower, having had just one conversation with Gary Johnson the night before, wakes up to find he no longer can find Aleppo.

Bowser, blood still dripping from the sword he used to slay Haley, runs terrified from Leonardo DiCaprio, so much so that he sprains his ankle in the flight.

Jill Stein receives an explosive from somebody, perhaps the same person that sent her medical supplies. They sit in a pile inside her mud hut waiting for use.

Something like a quarter of our survivors form a temporary team.

David Bowie almost kills Shifty Kebab Seller, but the love that Shifty compels in all living beings stays the hands of his would-be killer, allowing Shifty to survive another day.

Chapa might not be able to make fire, but he is able to make a slingshot.

Betty White tries to find Aleppo. Is Gary Johnson contagious? His condition prior to death seems to be spreading.

The Basket of Deplorables prepares for the next night's fire. That one is pretty anti-climactic.



This is a pretty sad list. It begins with the death of a legend, and ends with the conquest of Britain. With only thirteen still alive, the games are about to speed up toward their finish.

[BrokenPromise]

"In mother Russia, your waifu watches YOU bathe in a stream."

Also there's something oddly poetic about birdie sanders being the one to take out trump.

I def on the shifty kebbab seller hype train.