Hunger Games: THE SPAM BOWL: End of the Year Championship Round

[KnightShade]

Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia

@Dinh AaronMk

I despise you right now

[Vilageidiotx]

Added. Also added Boris Johnson and Rodrigo Duterte. We got three more left. If you think the year itself has been milked dry, don't forget we can add previous champions so long as they appeared in two games or more and are not RPG users.

[BrokenPromise]

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Forth of jully/ Variant appears in happy holidays)

Abraham Lincoln (Forth of July/ Halloween)

Does that work?

EDIT: Under tale was only in Halloween, but the creator toby fox appeared in ye-old-sacrificial games. Not sure if that counts or not.

[Vilageidiotx]

Latter probably a stretch, but we'll throw Hot Wings in there and call it good.

[Vilageidiotx]

And here it is, the finest line-up in Spam Hunger Games history.

[BrokenPromise]

I'm not sure why hot wings are there, but okay!

Other than that, one hell of a frickin' line up.

Are you still taking custom events, or has it more or less started?

[Vilageidiotx]

I'm not sure why hot wings are there, but okay!

Other than that, one hell of a frickin' line up.

Are you still taking custom events, or has it more or less started?

@BrokenPromise

Probably not running the game tonight, so go ahead and post extra events if you want. I do have to warn people about those though, not all events written into the game actually appear. It's pretty standard for a few to just not happen. So if you event doesn't show up in the game, it doesn't mean I didn't add it.

Also, Hot Wings were in two games (actually as Buffalo wings both times now I look back). Halloween, and the Fourth of July.

[ArenaSnow]

Right, I'll just stake my money on Breitbart, the basket of deplorables and Putin in that particular order.

[Vilageidiotx]

I may or may not have almost gotten Villageidiotx sued

@ArenaSnow

wat

[Duthguy]

(Player1) makes plans to build a wall to keep the other contestants away

[Vilageidiotx]

(Player1) makes plans to build a wall to keep the other contestants away

@Duthguy

heh, beat you to it. added a "Build a wall" event last night.

[BrokenPromise]

<Snipped quote by ArenaSnow>

wat

@Vilageidiotx

He's had that for a while.

might of been a reference to how he suggested Soryu and you initially used him without his consent, if I had to guess.

[Duthguy]

@Vilageidiotx Not surprising, it's an obvious one.

[Vilageidiotx]

<Snipped quote by Vilageidiotx>

He's had that for a while.

might of been a reference to how he suggested Soryu and you initially used him without his consent, if I had to guess.

@BrokenPromise

oh yeh. i should have guessed that.

[Vilageidiotx]

I have already ran the games, so no more events.

[ClocktowerEchos]

Wait I'm in this?

Wait, my entries of shifty looking kabab seller and buffalo/hot wings are also in this?

I am much impressed/shocked.

Wait, there's no event relating to having insane weebage rambling or channeling your inner angry old black man to make a weebishly delicious interest check?

Wait, Broby isn't a hamburger?

I am much disappoint.

Shame on you @Vilageidiotx, I'm going to sue/kill/eat/cuck/sew/decorate you now too. >T

I hope you die in post office Azerbajan after choking on a 5 foot long garden hose that's actually a snake which the town mechanist and abortion doctor who was trying to save you ran you over in a jeep 4x4 when he confused you with a fetus, surrounded by angry Danish nudists after you told them Danish pastries were from Daneland and go to hell but not burn since its actually cold as fuck down there accoridng to the bible and fairly empty after Doom guy cleared it out leaving you to be perpetually shivering by yourself for eternity.

[Vilageidiotx]

2016 passes from us with the grace of an Elephant in heat, and as we watch it trample villages of indigenous children, we reflect on a solid year of hardcore Hunger Games and what it has meant to our lives. There has been joy, drama, banal pop culture references, and blood poured into these games. Today we gather here to watch some of the all time greats, both of our games and of the year in general, duke it out to see who will rule in 2016.

Forty eight pedestals surround a steel sculpture; a cornucopia, its design not unlike a lazy modern-art installation you might see next to a Midwestern Community College. In its center, pouring out like R. Lee Ermey's yard sale, is a selection of survival equipment and esoteric weaponry. The pedestals rise, our tributes enter the arena, the horn sounds, and the games begin.



Lincoln, the mighty woodsman, the man who nearly dominated the Election Year games, quakes in his oversized boots at the sight of trees. His survival now seems dubious.

Prince finds a tasty taco and flits gracefully out of sight.

The Chicago Cubs lust for a gym bag but the Trump Pepe grabs it first, then proceeds to strangle the entire baseball team. That means the Chicago Cubs are the first blood, and the last-place loser of the 2016 games. Legend has it an old curse prevents the Cubs from winning anything until the next time Bill Murray is sad.

BREAKING NEWS: CNN BASHES RIO!
Citizens wonder if a sudden increase in bludgeoning deaths is related to sales of assault-maces.

Chapa is in the games because he was a champion in the first half of the year, but his prior success doesn't protect him from Putin, who breaks his nose for some fuckin' carbs.

Shifty Kebab finds a large fork and, knowing how to use cooking utensils, decides to go with that. The Basket of Deplorables finds alcohol and a rag, maybe for Molotovs, or maybe just to sniff.

Trump sees everybody grabbing stuff and he goes to grab the only thing he knows how, but he fails at this and gropes a dude. Their thumbnails tell us everything we need to know about the aftermath of the exchange.

Hitler annexes the cornucopia while Bowser runs off with some water.



Hillary walks up to the podium. "Lincoln is scared of the outdoors? I too have been scared of those outdoors. Great leaders in the past have been scared of places outside of American buildings, and I agree with them, the outdoors is scary. I have seen the outdoors. My parents both had some outdoors back in the midwest, where they nurtured me from infancy to adulthood as is typical for American parents to do. If you make me your President, I promise to follow in the footsteps of Great Americans by quaking in fear at the sight of things out of doors."

Dat Boi makes a memetic introduction that instantly endures him to the audience. He's like a friend we haven't seen since highschool, unicycling in from the early summer, when college didn't have us down, when Brexit hadn't stunned the world, when Bernie was still in the running and a Trump presidency seemed impossible. There he returns, telling us jokes like those days never left, reminding us of a world where everything was jokes. If he wins, our youth wins, and who doesn't want that?

Birdie Sanders scares a Waifu somehow. Are Waifu's typically scared of cantankerous leftist songbirds? Is that the mouse to their elephant?

Gene Wilder finds alcohol, but Fake News finds some explosives. Though I don't know if I should trust fake news on this. Did they find a bag full of explosives, or just a few firecrackers? Was there even a bag?

Duterte and Johnson grab swords. Arnold has no use for pansy weapons, but instead wants bread, and he is willing to punch a girl for it.



HaleytheRandom does the most barbaric thing imaginable: using a utensil when handling hot wings. Leonardo, The Phantom, and Alec Baldwin gather the supplies and, like typical liberal actors, they socialism the supplies amongst each other.

The survivors scatter into the woods, except Hitler who settles obstinately into the Cornucopia and declares it lebensraum while nearby the corpses of all the Chicago Cubs lay dead among the cut-up remains of hot wings. Two dead, forty six to go.

[Dinh AaronMk]

Go Robbie!

[BrobyDDark]

Will this be the one I win? Or will I just end up killing a bunch of people and dying of an easily treatable disease?

[Vilageidiotx]

Our tributes scatter, leaving Hitler alone in an empty Cornucopia pretending to be a conqueror, the bodies of the Chicago Cubs, Rio de Janeiro, and sliced up hot wings laying in the dirt nearby. The forest will decide who lives and who dies.



Alec Baldwin flees a baffled conservative.

Broby strikes a blow for journalism, tainting the fake news feed with cyanide and abandoning it to die in the forest. Will Broby set his sights on any of our other journalistic tributes?

Give it up, 2016! Betty has the high ground!

Boris Johnson shows his distaste for all continental Europeans when he Brexits his way into the Cornucopia and kills Hitler. That leaves four dead at the starting point, and the British flag waving over the Cornucopia.

Bernie flips off A Waifu. This is after Birdie Sanders scared her. This might confirm that Birdie is in fact acting as Bernie's familiar in this round. Why they are picking on A Waifu is beyond me. Perhaps she is wealthier than we all realize.

Shifty Kebab is a lone predator, and he hunts solo. Bowser, Muhammad Ali, Dat Boi, and Trump Pepe are pack predators, and we see them team up to strategize.

Lincoln might be scared of the outdoors, but he's still the enterprising frontiersman, and when confronted with a river he uses his resources and hard work to construct a bridge.

Prince finds MSNBC suffering suspicious wounds (did Broby come this way?) Prince is a compassionate artist, and he gently cares for the milquetoast-left organization.

Hillary sees Lincoln building something, and she quickly flies into action copying him. But years in legal and political practice does not produce the same skills as a frontiersman, and Hillary ends up wish a mushy pile of mud. Maybe this'll get her the redneck vote though.

Mevlut the assassin falls into Chapatrap's Chapa Trap and dies. Chapa learns that, though he might not be able to take Putin head on, he can at least kill from a distance with sneaky tricks.

HaleytheRandom shows a better understanding of construction than Hillary Clinton and builds herself a place to stay.

CNN hears about Broby and arms itself.

More hunting parties form. Stefan Karl Stefansson is also a lone hunter, but Mr Rogers, Leoardo DiCaprio, Harambe, David Bowie, and Putin move in a pack.

VarionusNW gives Shoryu Magami a bag of trail mix.

Carrie Fisher, having broken her nose, injures herself in another way, having a hell of a time out of the gate.



Duterte goes straight to the survival business and robs some bees.

Ted Cruz dies as he lived: being a giant shit.

If you are hunting for Pokemon, don't go to Aleppo. This is a public service announcement sponsored by your friendly Hunger Games organization.

BrokenPromise gives Obama an automatic weapon.

The Phantom of the Opera supports the Green Party.

Birdie Sanders sprains his ankle. Not sure why he didn't just fly. If Birdie Sanders is unwilling to use his bird powers, he's not going to survive long.

Keyguyperson gives a gun to the Deplorables.

Breitbart steps on a landmine and dies. Where did that landmine come from? Is it a coincidence, or did Broby plant it? Could he even guess where Breitbart would be?

I like Death's name in this game. Anything Death does sounds poetic. "Death practices his archery" sounds like it is supposed to mean something, even though I don't know quite what.

Arnie punched Carrie Fisher, and now he cuts off Clocktower's hand. Arnie hasn't killed anybody, but he has been a bully.

Meanwhile, after his mistaken run in with David Bowie, Trump has gained a taste for man-pussy, and he finds an unlikely partner.



There they are, the seven most unworthy players in 2016. Look at their faces and boo.