Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Lord Wraith I love your analysis of Jiao. Me next. Me next! :P

I'm not nearly as experienced here as the other writers, but I'd like feedback as well. Especially considering my initial power had complications during the review process.

Cheers!


I'll take some time to do Benjamin later today (maybe :P), if only because I'm working on the IC opener, Noah's first IC post and a post for another RP I'm fairly involved in.

But Benjamin's sheet is pretty fresh in my head as I was just looking over it to figure out where he would stand with Noah. The outcome of said reading is that the two probably haven't interacted as Benjamin is new to the school and has no listed extracurriculars or particular interests at this time so they'd probably be neutral or just not have a relationship currently.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
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@Lord Wraith

Well if u can. No worries if you can't get around to it.

I keep having to remind myself that Ben is new to the school and wouldn't really know anyone. Which contradicts the bio I created for him, which already has him somewhat established. I'll just say that he had to take some summer classes to catch up since classes don't always transfer when u move to another country. That could explain while he is relatively familiar with the place, but still doesn't know anyone really since most kids aren't in school during the summer.

Cheers!
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Tackytaff After a final review with Roman, we are pleased to accept your sheet. Please move Chloe to the Character Tab at your earliest convenience.

I'll update the relationship sheet accordingly.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Dion
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@Odin As promised, some commentary on your sheet.

The first thing that attracted me to your sheet personally is the amount of detail presented in your abilities section. As that is a very key component of the RP and due to the effort that I myself put into designing Hyperhumans and how their abilities work, I love seeing someone else put that same effort into explaining their character's abilities. The ability section covers not only how Jiao's gifts work but also discusses them and lends itself to explaining development and applications. The limitations and weaknesses are also equally thought out and everything is well said, no leaps in logic required to follow your thought process.

His skills stand out, like his abilities they are well detailed and lend themselves to helping explain the character and your characterization of him. This is particularly noteworthy with his final skill of dissimulation. The appearance description isn't long or wordy, not that it has to be. You've clearly and concisely described Jiao's appearance in a way that doesn't repeat the other information on the sheet but rather enhances it to give a fuller picture.

Jiao's backstory is sweet and concise, it doesn't waste details nor does it lack them. There's still plenty about Jiao that can be discovered in the IC but nothing that's apparently lacking or would make the reader wonder about the character. His personality sets him apart from other characters in the RP and I fully expect him to cause nothing but friction but that's a reason why he was accepted because he does have a three-dimensional personality and it only further enhances the cast which for the most part is made up of less abrasive people.


thamk u boss

I've knocked down one essay and have 2 more to go, so I'm still out of the running for a week or so (maybe?) but I'll try and keep track of what's going on OOC wise.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Aeolian, alright here's what I cam up with for your review:

Firstly, let me start with your great attitude in the iCheck and subsequently, the OOC made it really easy to consider you for acceptance so even when Roman and I asked for some edits to be made, you remained positive and didn't make a fuss about it. I can not stress how much more enjoyable that makes GMing, so for that, I want to thank you.

Moving on, Benjamin's abilities caught our eye and while it might not be as detailed as some of the other sheets it was also an ability that stood out. Whether as Astral Projection or the revised Intangibility, Benjamin's skills bring a nice niché to the RP that isn't displayed in the other characters. As I said, the ability section isn't the longest but that's okay because it doesn't need to be, the powers are straightforward and easy to understand and you have beefed it up with some 'science talk' of your own. The limitations and weaknesses check the power and keep it balanced plus much like his abilities, you gave him a neat little niché skill that could be a topic of conversation later one.

Benjamin's appearance section rounds out his physical details and begins giving an insight to the sheet's personality section. His backstory captures him even further and you can start to really see how the character is going to take shape in the IC. Taking influence from his parents perhaps, Benjamin comes across to me as having the most potential to be the cast's 'only sane man.' He's disciplined and responsible, level-headed and caring. Which brings us to the portion of the sheet that stuck out to Roman and I the most, the personality section.

The personality section is what made Roman and I want to ensure you had a chance to rectify and clarify your ability section. The writing and insight shown in the personality section made us feel like Benjamin was the first fully formed character in the RP. He personality comes across as very alive, it's three dimensional and could just as easily be your next door neighbour as it could be a fictional character.

The Miscellaneous section is used well without adding too many details, giving us just a bit more insight into Benjamin and his family.

Overall, it's a very solid sheet and I am looking forward to seeing him in the IC.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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I should have done this yesterday but...

◼ W E E K 0 0 2: With the IC right around the corner, what are your hopes for the plot? What sort of conflicts are you hoping to face, whether external, internal or otherwise? Do you have any plans for your characters, any particular path you want to grow and develop on?


New weekly discussion, let me know!
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
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@Aeolian, alright here's what I cam up with for your review:

Firstly, let me start with your great attitude in the iCheck and subsequently, the OOC made it really easy to consider you for acceptance so even when Roman and I asked for some edits to be made, you remained positive and didn't make a fuss about it. I can not stress how much more enjoyable that makes GMing, so for that, I want to thank you.

Moving on, Benjamin's abilities caught our eye and while it might not be as detailed as some of the other sheets it was also an ability that stood out. Whether as Astral Projection or the revised Intangibility, Benjamin's skills bring a nice niché to the RP that isn't displayed in the other characters. As I said, the ability section isn't the longest but that's okay because it doesn't need to be, the powers are straightforward and easy to understand and you have beefed it up with some 'science talk' of your own. The limitations and weaknesses check the power and keep it balanced plus much like his abilities, you gave him a neat little niché skill that could be a topic of conversation later one.

Benjamin's appearance section rounds out his physical details and begins giving an insight to the sheet's personality section. His backstory captures him even further and you can start to really see how the character is going to take shape in the IC. Taking influence from his parents perhaps, Benjamin comes across to me as having the most potential to be the cast's 'only sane man.' He's disciplined and responsible, level-headed and caring. Which brings us to the portion of the sheet that stuck out to Roman and I the most, the personality section.

The personality section is what made Roman and I want to ensure you had a chance to rectify and clarify your ability section. The writing and insight shown in the personality section made us feel like Benjamin was the first fully formed character in the RP. He personality comes across as very alive, it's three dimensional and could just as easily be your next door neighbour as it could be a fictional character.

The Miscellaneous section is used well without adding too many details, giving us just a bit more insight into Benjamin and his family.

Overall, it's a very solid sheet and I am looking forward to seeing him in the IC.


You have no idea how much I love this! Thank you very much! :)

It makes me want to be a better writer.

I'm definitely lacking, but I'm glad I did good on some parts, and now I know what I didn't do so good on. :P

I can't wait to see where this story goes!

ALSO, I will respond to the second weekly discussion later.

Cheers!
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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Lionhearted
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@Lord Wraith Would it be too much to ask for you to do one more constructive criticism? I definitely love that you're very critical with your players, and I would love to see what it is that got me accepted! BUT -- if you don't have time then I totally understand too <3

◼ W E E K 0 0 2: With the IC right around the corner, what are your hopes for the plot? What sort of conflicts are you hoping to face, whether external, internal or otherwise? Do you have any plans for your characters, any particular path you want to grow and develop on?


I absolutely love that this roleplay can be totally character-driven! There's a lot of controversy that mirror current events of today, ranging from the characters trying to fit in within a time of oppression to the power that the youth have to influence society and world issues. There's so much color in the roleplay already even though there is no established moving plot, aside from the world that they live in being a plot in itself. Moving forward, I'm definitely hoping to see all the angles of this world emphasized -- the oppression, the bonding of characters, a possible rise and rebellion of hyperhumans, the unification between communities, the characters discovering themselves as new identities, etc.

Felix is definitely going to face a lot of internal conflict, questioning a lot of his past decisions. Coming out from a strict childhood and now living more carefree, Felix feels lost and misguided. During the RP, he's going to indulge more in the movements against oppression for the hyperhumans -- after he accepts this as his identity, of course. With given plans to become someone that uses his powers for lawful reasons, he'll find his niche within the world and understand other reasons to achieve greatness that contrast his past motivators. The need for acceptance and the avoidance of disappointment are both embedded in Felix's brain, but he learns to break free of these anchors to create a clean slate for a new and improved personality. Felix will probably break down and become reshaped into a better person in this RP.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Lionhearted I will see about doing that later today.

To Everyone Else, all accepted players are free to post in the IC now.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Tackytaff
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Niicee I'll get started on a post later today.

Just a question @Lord Wraith I get that you probably don't want to list a teacher for every subject under the sun but seeing as there is physics, could we also get bio and chem classes? Or should we just be making up teachers that aren't on the faculty list?
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Niicee I'll get started on a post later today.

Just a question @Lord Wraith I get that you probably don't want to list a teacher for every subject under the sun but seeing as there is physics, could we also get bio and chem classes? Or should we just be making up teachers that aren't on the faculty list?


I have been meaning to finish the faculty list but I got sidetracked.

That said, if you want to create teachers in the IC for subjects not yet listed in the character tab, I'll follow your lead and use that teacher moving forward.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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Just to let everyone know, I've added 3HA to the NPC info post and began updating the teachers some more. I will be adding more teachers at a later time, probably once I finish the ones I already have.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Eleven
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@Lord Wraith If you're still accepting, I've got a sheet for you. Hoping she fits in.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Dion
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Dion JIHAD CHIQUE ® / NOT THE SHIT, DEFINITELY A FART

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@Eleven ay bro just wanna let you know the image is throwing up 404's and gang signs so it's probably behind a sign-up wall on a website that disallows hotlinking

try saving the image and reuploading it to imgur

EDIT: wait it's ezgif, you can't directly hotlink from ezgif
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Eleven
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@Odin Thanks! I thought I had switched to the imgur link! Changing right now.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Eleven It is my pleasure to let you know your sheet has been accepted. Please move it to the Character Tab at your earliest convenience and feel free to post in the IC as well.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Dion
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@Lord Wraith I'm guessing you want us to copy your formatting, or at the least the header, right?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Lord Wraith I'm guessing you want us to copy your formatting, or at the least the header, right?


Up to you, I'm flattered if you want to copy my formatting but you're under no obligation to do so.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Dion
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@Lord Wraith I'm gonna do it for the sake of uniformity anyway but I might give it my own spin, if I think of something.
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@Odin, sounds good!
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