[OOC] Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

[BurningDaisies]

Hmmm... back to the drawing board then~

Thanks guys!

[Raineh Daze]

@NightinGem You could have just stopped at "the ability's too broad and too powerful, and the character's got no drawbacks to balance it". Brevity is valuable. :p

[byteoflogic]

Ugh, doublesend. Plz remove!

[byteoflogic]

I recommend looking at some of the other characters, so you can see more or less what we're going for.

@BurningDaisies

[Raineh Daze]

And bear in mind that these are starting abilities. It's possible to build up to something far more powerful over time.

Hell knows how much trouble I'd be in if Noriko had her intended skill from the outset.

[NightinGem]

Thanks for the help, guys. I always struggle with socialization and what's appropriate, and overexplaining is rather common for me. x_x Good advice, too.

[BurningDaisies]

@NightinGem

I don't really think the over explaining was a problem. Not for me at least.

I can sit here and try to defend the conceptual merits of the character as I envisioned them, the I actually agree with the assessment you and @FeyBlue gave. Not all of it obviously, but enough for me to consider scrapping the character altogether. Neither of you were disrespectful when presenting your opinions, so I don't see an issue.

Thinking back to it, it was a kid in the candy store moment. "oh this sounds cool! and this seems cool! And I want that, and that, and that, and that...."
It was the sort of mindset you have when you get so caught up in your own work that you don't see the flaws. Happens~

Anyway, back to brainstorming!

[TheFake]

Reposting here

Himura Shizuri/Magical Girl Kuroe The Writer

• Name: Himura Shizuri
• Magical Girl Title: Magical Girl Kuroe the Writer (Also her pen name)
• Age:17
• Gender: Female
• Appearance:
  
• Magical Girl Appearance: In her Transformed state Shizuri wears a black suit with a cream colored vest and pink tie. Her ordinarily messy hair is done up into a ponytail and her glasses are absent entirely.
  
• Personality:
  In the flesh Shizuri is almost terminally shy, reluctant to act around people that she knows and entirely useless around strangers. Any attention drawn to her is unwelcome and she does not readily express herself without being prompted, even around good friends.
  
  Though the anonymity of the internet she is outgoing and opinionated. Shizuri is passionate about anything that she takes an interest in and can be driven to show her anger with a small amount of provocation. She isn't a naturally angry person but more vibrant emotions more easily rise to the top if she is caught off guard. These traits even carry through to her magical girl form. Nobody could possibly mistake shy Himura Shizuri for Kuroe the brash magical girl.
• Skills: Writing, playing and mixing music and video games.
• Abilities: With her Marker Shizuri can modify the properties of objects by writing on them and impose her will upon the world. Longer, more detailed passages have greater effects. She can change the shapes of things and even give them magical properties for a limited time.
• Tool: The Black Marker
• Brief History:
  Himura Shizuri merely passed through life to this point. Her shy nature and inability to make friends meant that she made as little an impact upon those that she crossed paths with as they did upon her. The origin of this might have been her families constant moving with her fathers work and the very brief nature of any friendships early in her life.
  
  With the absence of any other people to spend her time with, Shizuri filled her life with more solitary activities such as writing and other hobbies. Behind her online nickname Kuroe she found a way to express her thoughts and feelings without having to meet face to face with anyone.
  
  While in her first year of high school she published her first romance novel under this same nickname. It was a success and afterone year of high school she dropped out to write full time, moving into an apartment of her own and living a life of solitude. She now publishes at an astounding rate, living out her own fantasies on the pages she writes. Beneath it all, what she possibly desires most is the ability to interact with people face to face, like those in her stories.
  
  It is of course open knowledge that Magical Girl Kuroe and Kuroe the author are one and the same.
  
  • Fairy Name: Fid
  • Fairy Appearance: Fid is a diminutive Fairy, even among her own kind she is considered small. Fids hair is a brilliant white and what passes for her wings and even her clothing is an indistinct darkness that flows around her body like scraps of black silk with her wings coming from four small points on her back. In flight she looks like a pinprick of light followed by a rippling inky trail.
  • Fairy Personality: Fids nature is a direct contrast to that of Shizuri. She is always outgoing and will rise to any challenge, especially anything that might directly go against Shizuri herself. Fid will poke fun at anything and any one meaning that nothing is off limits if the mood strikes her. She is in tune very intimately with Shizuri and is able to convey her feelings for her.
• Theme Song:
  

[Rin]

@NightinGemDon't worry so much. People who can actually be constructive with their criticisms are a depressingly rare thing in this day and age, after all, so it's nice to see there are still people like that I guess.

[byteoflogic]

Your character concept is pretty cool and has a lot of potential, but I'd suggest fleshing out your ability some more, as it is somewhat ambiguous.

@TheFake

[Raineh Daze]

@byteoflogic I would refrain from giving unsolicited commentary unless it's badly needed--i.e., outright duplication of powers.

[VitaVitaAR]

So um, quick note to everyone!

This RP has gotten pretty big very fast and I'm concerned about keeping up on bios and plot by myself, so I've now appointed @Raineh Daze as my co-GM!

[byteoflogic]

@byteoflogic I would refrain from giving unsolicited commentary unless it's badly needed--i.e., outright duplication of powers.

@Raineh Daze

Sorry, I was only trying to help >.<

[byteoflogic]

Shimura Akiko (v3)

Name: Shimura Akiko
Magical Girl Title: Valkyrie
Age: 14
Gender: Female

Appearance

Average height, average build. Akiko has short, orange hair and usually wears midnight blue.

Magical Girl Appearance: When transformed Akiko wears a long midnight blue overcoat reaching mid calf over an orange dress reaching mid thigh. Bright orange stockings and platform shoes complete the look. The shoes act as a magical capacitor, allowing Akiko to trickle feed into them for her Effortless Bound, spreading the energy over time and allowing her to take less damage from further jumps at the cost of time.

Personality: Akiko is of a rash nature and very extroverted. She loves being the center of attention. Akiko relies on others’ validation as she has little to no true self esteem, yet she exudes false confidence. Even if she does desire to help others, that is almost always secondary to the validation a simple “Thank you” brings her. Her reliance on others can cause her to be fairly gullible, and she often regrets her choices upon reflection. Akiko always holds the door, and cries in solitude.

Skills:

• Detachment: Since becoming a magical girl, Akiko has learned to detach herself from the sensation of pain during battle. Currently it is only partial, but as Akiko gains more combat experience, she will get better at nullifying the pain caused by her abilities and inflicted by her enemies.
• Friendly: Akiko’s outgoing and charismatic nature enables her to easily make the acquaintance of unlikely allies.
• Independent: Though she greatly relies on others’ emotional support, Akiko knows how to take care of her physical and environmental needs.
• Intuitive: She is relatively “street smart”, and usually finds the obvious solution to a problem, if there is one.

Abilities:

• Lead Barrage: Akiko can imbue any firearm she holds with magical energy, causing it to empty the clip in a split second in most cases. Depending on clip size, requires more magical energy.
• Recall: She can pull ammunition back into a firearm, usually causing exit wounds and reloading her weapon. Energy cost depends on distance and integrity of the rounds. Takes longer and costs more if there are more rounds to reload.
• Effortless Bound: By sending magical energy through her feet into a surface, Akiko can leap extraordinary distances off of nearly any surface. This damages enemies depending on the force applied.
• Combat Focus: Unlike most magical girls, Akiko typically has human-range physical abilities. Instead, she can expend magical energy to apply moderate boosts to things like reaction time, agility, and strength.

Blue abilities work like any typical magical ability, expending only magical energy.
Orange abilities are much more dangerous, as Akiko sends rampant and uncontrolled magic through her body. In smaller doses, this simply causes physical pain, but if unchecked Akiko can easily come to harm or even die.

Weapon(s): Twin magical pistols, gunmetal black with a blue sheen to them. Similar to a mundane pistol, they can only fire 15 times apiece before being reloaded. Strangely enough, rather than having a clip, they function as ridiculously large revolvers.

Brief History:
When Akiko was just a child, her mother left her financially-dependent, alcoholic father with next to nothing. Shimura Tetsuya needed to seek rehabilitation, and left Akiko in his estranged father's care. A bumbling old man, Akiko’s grandfather was not the most attentive caretaker. She tried to take solace in her friends’ companionship, but always felt a bit isolated, even when surrounded by others. After Tetsuya exited rehab, he took up a couple part time jobs and bought the cheapest apartment he could find for two, and took Akiko back into his care. He often came home too worn out to properly take care of Akiko, so she had to learn to live on her own at a young age. She has trouble keeping her recently realized identity as a magical girl, especially due to the praise it's reveal would bring her.

Fairy

Fairy Name: Belladonna

Fairy Appearance

Fairy Personality: Despite her unassuming visage, Bell is a manipulative and cruel fairy. She has little concern for the wellbeing of others and will do most anything to further her position. She acts affirming and caring around Akiko, and although this is only to gain her ear, she falls for it wholeheartedly. In many ways Belladonna is the single most dangerous individual to Akiko.

Theme Song: TBD

[Raineh Daze]

<Snipped quote by Raineh Daze>

Sorry, I was only trying to help >.<

@byteoflogic

It's understandable, but unless someone's inviting criticism, then it's generally advisable to let the GM have the first say. xD

[byteoflogic]

I'll keep that in mind! Thanks for the tip!

@Raineh Daze

[byteoflogic]

Is Akiko good to go yet?

Honesty

[VitaVitaAR]

I'd like to know more about the basic traits of the pistols, though looking better!

[byteoflogic]

Instead of reposting, I just edited. Don't want to spam the chat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[VitaVitaAR]

@byteoflogic: I think she's good now!