GAME: Crush A Wish

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted, but the edge is so sharp it kills everyone who reads it. (sorry, I'm not good at this...)

I wish I had friends.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted but they use you for every penny you have.

I wish the outlets in this classroom worked

[Kalleth]

Granted, but you electrocute yourself and die. And smell like fried chicken.

I wish the contents of my bowels and bladder could teleport to the sewers, thus eliminating my need to eliminate.

[Lord Orgasmo]

Granted. But you are so empty your organs collapse in on themselves and you die.

Could I get like 5 bucks?

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. You get five adolescent male deer.

I wish I had a dragon that was friendly and killed no-one.

[Kalleth]

Granted, you get a dead komodo dragon. Mind the smell.

I wish I could become a sex god.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, you are omnipotent. Lingering in the back of your otherwise rational and omniscient mind, lies the ever stronger sexual urges to do it with all and everyone. Being omnipotent you do.

I wish for people to realize the connection between correlation and causation.

[Kalleth]

Granted, but people find ways to be even more stupid. Like realizing that even though they realize the difference, they can still use strawmen and false equivalencies to be just as infuriating as ever.

I wish humans no longer thought in fallacious ways altogether.

[Bishop]

Granted but now all humans lose the ability to feel emotion, only using rationality to base their actions on. They now focus entirely on advancing the civilization further until The Reapers come and eradicate them all to stop them from advancing further.

I wish that when I went in heaven after death, God was a young beautiful female....and I laid with her.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. When you ascend, God appears before you in the form of a pretty little girl. You're immediately sent to hell after you fulfill you desires.

I wish I was able to draw with a good amount of skill.

[Lugia]

Granted, but you can only draw stuff you hate.

I wish I could think of a wish.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, you wish for the first thing you think of, which just happens to be the death of you and your loved ones.

I wish that my feet didnt hurt.

[Reis]

Wish granted. Every other part of your body hurts instead.

I wish for... a soda.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. You get baking soda.

I wish I hadn't stayed up all night.

[Oxy]

Granted. You didn't stay up all night because night no longer exists, everywhere on earth is constantly illuminated by the sun. Worldwide ecological disasters the likes of which we've never seen begin; humanity dies out in a famine spawned by the destruction of the food chain.

I wish I could live completely alone without any responsibility.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, all life on Earth is gone, besides you. You won't live long, but you get to live perfectly alone and without responsibility.

I wish for all ice cream to taste like five times better, without affecting the rate at which people choose to eat them.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but icecream becomes greatly laborious to make and nobody wants to do the 4 hours of labor to pump out a single cone, so the industry dies.

I wish I could compose music.

[RinOkumara]

you can but REALLY bad music

I wish I don't need to live to here Ryazaki's terrible music

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but you go to the deepest layer of hell where they only play my music.

I wish people could spell my name (I have this issue IRL too haha).

[Kalleth]

Granted, people begin spelling your name correctly. And speaking only using your name. A new language eradicates all others, known as Ryuzaki-ese. "Ryuzaki Ryuzaki Riyuzaki Riyuzaki."

Ryuzaki Ryuzaki Ryuzaki Ryuzaki Ryuzaki Ryuzaki!