Akayaofthemoon

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308

Sorry to hear that you didn't sleep well. I know how that is and I hope you get a nap in today. At least think of it this way, at least you have coffee. Coffee puts me to sleep

We Are the Crystal Gems

@Saarebas

Morning ^_^ I am good. How are you?

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308

Yeah, it is true that happens. It is really an experience thing and I didn't understand at all until that point in my life. I also understand it from other sides too. Romantic love or not but I don't like when others push about you have to have it. You don't need romantic love to be happy. It is just something I find is hard to explain how it can effect you in the weirdest and most wonderful of ways. Anyway you are right that it is super late and we both need our sleep ^_^

P.S. Sorry for anyone who read the convo and was weirded out. I know heavy topics and romantic talks can be blah for some people

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308

I look at some of my past relationships and they were meh. Some I loved them dearly but they were bad for me. Some were just miscommunication. My husband was the first time I just knew. It was how we matched and didn't match. That I felt happy and cloud nine when he was near. I thought I loved some of my past boyfriends dearly but as I said it was always me giving more or expressing myself and going bad or no communication. With my husband, everything was in the open and when I said something he didn't like, it wasn't thrown at me. He told me his thoughts. We could be open

I know it is silly but they mean it when they say love just hits you. It doesn't have to make sense. It just happens when you least expect it or aren't even looking.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308

I know all this and I have put the blame in the past. No matter what my mom says though, it is a regret. I should never have lied but it has happened and I can't change it. I think I am stronger for it. I know it is a scar on my heart but it doesn't hurt anymore and it is rare that I every fall. I can honestly say that love from friends, family, and even the one I love more than anything has done even more to my already healed heart. He knows my bad. He knows my good and sees more in me than I can sometimes see in myself. Love is strange. It is torture and wonder. It is nothing you can explain until you feel it for yourself. It will just hit you. I went on two dates and I knew. This is the man I want to be with. This is the person I want to share everything with. This is the person I trust my heart too. This is the person that will see me for me. This is the person that can read my mind or shares close thoughts. This is the person that can see when my mask is on and no one else can. He knows when I am mad. When I am sad or what I need to be happy.

I can't say romantic love is everything but it is worth having. Sometimes your family and friends just can't support you the way your lover can. I know that is silly if you haven't felt romantic love or don't want it but it is true.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308

It took me a long time to move past it and every now and then I revert back, I crumble into a crying mess with his words on repeat and I'm sorry is the only thing I can say. It only happens when certain people yell. I think it is a tone or attitude that triggers it. I have moved on a great deal. I can take freely of it and it has no power to hold me back or hurt me anymore. Sometimes I am afriad...afraid he saw something in me that was right cause I can't stand the thought of losing me husband in anyway but then I think, he is wrong. I am so much more than he ever saw. I know I am and even though he took my ignorance of everyone is wonderful away, he also opened my eyes to steer clear of those like him. A wolf in sheep skin.

I blamed myself for a long time because I could have made us leave sooner. I thought my mom was happy so when she asked me if I was happy, I lied and said yes. I didn't realize she was unhappy and looking for a reason to leave. It will forever be my biggest regret. This is why I don't lie or try my best never too. I tell it how it is or try to say nothing at all.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308

I will try my best ^-^ Love you all and night night. Sweetest dreams.

Loony I am sorry for not speaking up on the relationship thing. I understand where you are both coming from but I am a romantic at heart and I have found a person just right for me. He is my best friend and the person I share everything with. This has nothing to do with where I was born but more to do with my family. I had both my great grandparents well into my teen years and they had known each other all their lives and had been married for more than 75 years. The made me see and believe in the love people could have.

I am not without my hurts. For awhile I didn't believe in love and thought I would never have it plus didn't want it. My mother had an abusive boyfriend and for awhile I blamed her for letting it happen. For my pain and her pain. Not understanding why she was staying. Then he started to emotionally abuse me. Calling me horrible things, saying I couldn't do anything without help and saying that no one would every love me and that if I found it that I would lose it for sure. The hurt me more than I can say. I still can't stand certain people yelling. Through all this I still believe in relationships and love. Romantic or otherwise. I think the whole, you need to get married and find love is too heavily pushed in America but I don't think it is just that. I think people want to believe in that kind of love my great grandparents have. That good or bad you will have someone by your side that will keep loving every part of you.
It is something most people have a hard time finding.
I wish people did focus on love of family and friends because I feel strong love for them. It doesn't always have to be romantic type like most people are so focused on writing or in general.
Sorry if this was weird to say.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308

I think we will all need Halloween soon after this

We Are the Crystal Gems

I will proabably be going to bed soon too now that the long sad post is done cause I have a long trip tomorrow. I am not even sure I will get to be able to get on tomorrow.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@Kronshi

Nighty night