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6 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
7 yrs ago
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7 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
7 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
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8 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
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Bio

Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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In all honesty, I got a bit lost too on just where everyone is, so I present to you all...

PLAYER TRACKER MK I


Dining room: Sabrina, Oscar, Trisha, Alexander

An undefined hall past the destroyed vine wall, beating up dogs and girls: Justin, Raymond, Shane

An undefined hall at the destroyed vine wall: Junior

A bathroom near the study: Arabelle, Aileen

Through or just stepping out of a secret passage to a hallway by the study: Tuyen, Ezra (eventually), Georgie (potentially?)

At a coffee house, unaware of fucking everything: Nisha

Gone forever: Niko




Free scones? Free latte? A chauffeur? Okay, so it had been a cop and she had sat in the front seat, but it was still a free ride. Regardless, pretending to be rich was already paying off; Nisha could kick herself for not thinking of such a brilliant idea sooner. Instead, she just kicked her feet up on the table, sipped her latte, and nibbled on her scone as she amused herself by scoffing at the line of plebs who actually had to pay for their drinks. It only took a third of a scone before her interest faded, turning towards the bundled up shoppers outside. Allegedly, the Vanburen mark would send someone to come fetch her in a pumpkin carriage and Cinderella her away to her new, naive family.

The familiar sensation of falling hit her before the chair completely dipped back. As if on instinct, or perhaps thanks to Nel’s ever vigilant eye, the Long Arms burst out of Nisha and caught against the floor to rebalance the chair. The spike of adrenaline faded as Nisha looked around the room. The people seemed unfazed enough that her spooky arms either were invisible to them or a totally normal sight, although she doubted it was the latter. Nisha didn’t learn her lesson; seconds later her feet were kicked back up on the table as she resumed her waiting.

Five minutes passed. People watching grew tired, so she pulled out her phone, realized she had no service, and went back to people watching. Now that she was pretend rich she’d have to see if her new “family” could buy her a phone that worked in America. Ten minutes passed. She had jumped in line now to get one of those big blueberry muffins and another latte. Even now that she was a pretend rich person she wouldn’t let that allow her to disrespect the queue. Fifteen minutes passed. Cherry, the plump and pleasant blonde woman who had comped her first treat did so for the second. Nisha thanked her because she wasn’t going to be one of those pretend rich who lacked manners.

Twenty minutes passed and Nisha was about to burn the motherfucker down to get back at the rich douchebag who was obviously standing her up. It wouldn’t be the first time she was disappointed by an older man from a wealthy family and she doubted it would be the last. Nisha chewed on her fingernail as the clock’s second hand rolled all the way around again. They were wasting her whole life now and what did she get out of it besides a shitty free cup of coffee and a mislabeled biscuit? This was unexceptable, just unexceptable. Nisha wouldn’t stand for it, so she stood up, her chair clattering to the ground. Just because she was poor the rich thought they could shit all over her. Well she had news for them: this bum had enough shit! Nisha stormed the front counter like her landing craft had just hit sand on Omaha. No queue was respected when it came to getting the goddamn respect she deserved as a fake rich person. Nisha got up in front of Cherry, lifted herself up against the counter to appear taller, and snapped her fingers for the woman’s attention.

“Hey! What’s taking Ezra so long!?” barked Nisha.
<Snipped quote by silvermist1116>

Ideally yes.

But, given how these RPs go, I'm not going to make any promises. Some secrets already, I can feel, are gonna be more important than the others but I'm gonna try to work in the other ones.


I still can't believe that Sabrina was secretly a Parrothead this whole time.




"Hey, Ezra. Any idea on what these people could regard as stolen property amongst our father's collection? Sounds like he pissed off a lot of people in life, huh," said Alexander.

Ezra, annoyed but maintaining his composure due to Raymond calling him by that embarrassing nickname, turned and placed an arm over the back of the shoulder so he could get a better look at Alexander. As he turned, his Masterpiece spell on himself finished and the signs of stress evaporated from his skin. Had James pissed off a lot of people in his life? Undoubtedly. Ezra imagined that a fair number of them would be their mothers, especially considering how close some of his half-siblings were in age. Seriously, had dad been picking up women at the diaper parties? Ezra gripped the bridge of his nose: his dad’s game was the last thing he ever wanted to think about.

“I would take the things people who dress up in robes and animal masks say with a grain of salt, Alexander,” said Ezra, still rubbing the bridge of his nose. Was some of the things James owned stolen? Maybe, but Ezra didn’t know about them if that was the case. He couldn’t see his dad dressing up in a black jumpsuit and dipping beneath security lasers to nab a hot commodity like some kind of cat burglar, but it wouldn’t be difficult to imagine a scenario where James had inadvertently purchased a stolen art piece from a less-than-legal dealer. More likely, Morgana was either a “rah-rah the rich all stole from the poor” type to justify being a criminal or she had just been lying.

Thankfully, as Ezra spoke Raymond had stopped tearing up the house and Oscar used his magic to douse the flames in water—only for Raymond to take the opportunity to glide across the floor after the creeps. Ezra sat up in his chair, let out an exasperated sigh, and sunk back down. What was going to be a bigger headache: dealing with a repairman in the house all week, or coming up with a convincing enough lie as to how all of this damage had happened in the first place? He began making a mental list of who he’d have to call as Tuyen approached him.

“ I take it you haven’t seen these invaders before?” she asked. Oh, had it been obvious that his family was prepared to be attacked by a bunch of creepy cultists and their oversized hell dogs? Ezra scoffed and folded his arms, not even dignifying the question with a response. “Do you have any idea what they might be after? Anywhere they might go within this manor?”

“Maybe there’s some spare cash or jewelry laying around, but everything really of any value is either in the bank or in a stock portfolio,” said Ezra. He rubbed his chin and squinted as he thought of what else they might possibly be after. “Actually, there is James’ artifact collection. Most of it looks like junk, really, but a few of the items might be valuable. There’s a gallery past the ballroom, near the study. If you think it is safe, Arabelle can show...”

He really wouldn’t have sent their maid out into the mansion while there were maniacs running amok, but delegating a relatively small task to her was basically a habit at this point. Ezra glanced around to find the woman, standing so he could get a view through the hole in the wall. As far as he could tell, both Arabelle and Junior were missing. He let out a hmph and looked down at Tuyen, “I can show you where it is.”




Not many things ruffled Ezra. Not visibly, anyway. When his wife told him she was leaving he had only nodded his head as if he had anticipated it. When his father was found dead on Christmas morning he hardly reacted at all outside of perhaps the merest twitch on his lip. He rarely jumped at loud noises or cheap movie scares. The few times someone took a swing at him in anger he even managed to no-sell the hit. So when a giant hellhound burst through the dining room wall, destroyed the fireplace, and sent ash scattering across the room all Ezra did was raise his eyebrows, tighten his grip on the knife, blink, and thanked God that he didn’t shit himself.

A whirlwind of action unfolded around him, which gave him ample time to subtly step back and away from the fighting. If he was cowering he didn’t show it. Ezra stood with his back against the wall and arms folded, tapping the blade of the knife against his shoulder. If anything it appeared as if he was observing and analyzing his family, their supernatural experts, and the psychopaths that had raided his house. It was hard not to only focus on Tuyen’s shadow or Shane as they boxed with a couple of demon dogs, but Ezra forced himself to look beyond them to the three hooded figures who had stepped in behind the big distraction.

It became apparent that the one in the middle was calling the shots. Ezra took a couple of slow steps off of his security wall and felt the weight of the knife in his hand. Normally chef’s knives weren’t meant to be thrown, but a Masterpiece operated out of the realm of normalcy. It was perfectly balanced and wonderfully sharp. He tossed the knife and caught it by the dull side of the blade. It wouldn’t even be a challenge to sling it across the room and bury it into the ringleader’s heart. With the slightest hint of a smirk he lifted his hand, lined up the shot, and nearly got knocked down as a chained up Daniel was dragged past him.

By the time Ezra corrected himself, a wall of flames had emerged between him and the dog whisperer one of the others had called Morgana. He made a note of trying to commit the other person’s voice to memory. Justin leapt through the flames after the intruders, but to Ezra the most immediate threat was the house fire. Raymond was beginning to smother the flames with stones—stones that he got by tearing up Ezra’s goddamn floor. There was more than one reason why Ezra had wanted his family to leave it up to the experts.

Ezra heaved a sigh, shook his head, walked over to the overturned table, picked up one of the unbroken chairs, and sat down. He flicked his eyes over at Aileen, who had arrived late and almost looked eager to throw herself at all of the pishy caca the moment the fire was tamed. Ezra ran his hands through his hair, rolled his neck, and then chucked the knife across the room. It soared straight through the air before burying itself harmlessly into the wall near Raymond, far away enough to not seem threatening but close enough to get his attention. Ezra cleared his throat.

“Raymond, I appreciate you taking initiative, but maybe we can assign this to someone better suited for fighting fires. Wouldn’t you agree, Oscar?” said Ezra, turning and glaring with sunken eyes at his brother who could literally create water. His spell faded on the knife as he shifted in his chair, bracelet glowing a slight orange as he began to channel the spell back on himself. “The rest of you, please realize that this house is very old. Obviously defend yourself, but don’t bring the roof down while we’re all on the inside. It kind of...defeats the purpose.”







Vashti gripped tightly to Emily as the moped buzzed down the road, weaving in and out of crashed cars and fallen powerlines. Her boiling anger towards the Coven, and thus in turn Emily, had subsided momentarily. More accurately, it had been flash frozen by a terror that gripped her very soul. She hardly had a grasp on what the hell was even happening due to her own self-absorption, but she felt that even if she had kept herself in the loop about Annabelle she still would not have been prepared. She closed her eyes as Emily drove past the first dead body. It only made the screaming and howling that accompanied a city plunging into complete chaos that much worse.

A wave of panic broke through the icy terror as Vashti felt the Leviathan stir inside of her, wanting to do nothing more than to join in on the fun. She pressed herself closer to Emily with a whimper and began counting backwards from one hundred. There was a screech and a tire skid. Vashti felt her stomach sink while her body began to float. Her eyes snapped open. Everything seemed to crawl to a stop as she soaked in the scene of Emily rolling on the ground after the sliding moped; directly beneath Vashti was a Wendigo, its arms outstretched as it staggered towards the easy target. If Vashti wasn't so terrified knowing that she was about to break her neck she might've laughed: she'd known that Wendigos were more than myths.

The Wendigo picked up its pace as it worked its way towards Emily. Claws flashed as it let out a high-pitched screech and brought its hands down towards the injured girl—and immediately went flying into a car as the Leviathan's tail slammed into the Wendigo's side accompanied by the foley work of a perfectly timed thunderclap.





Dark storm clouds formed overhead in the moonlit sky as it began to rain. It was heavier than normal, as if the storm had been brewing for quite some time. The Leviathan looked down at Emily with her yellow eyes, roared as lightning lit up the sky, and then turned towards the Wendigo, the moped, and then back to the Wendigo. No fucking stupid scrawny ass cannibal bitch fucked with the Leviathan's royal ride. The Wendigo stood up to its full height and screeched as it recovered from hitting the car. It towered at least a foot over the Leviathan, but height wasn't nearly as important as raw fucking power. The Leviathan roared at her gangly subject, certain that would be enough to break the shitstain in two, but the long, lanky, wannabe regicide was too stupid to take the Queen's mercy. Fine. It'd get the royal execution instead. The Wendigo slashed out at the Leviathan with its long arm.

Big fucking mistake.

The Leviathan stepped into the attack and caught the Wendigo's forearm with her fangs, biting down hard enough to produce a pleasant scream but not to snap completely through. Then the Leviathan dug her claws in with one hand under the Wendigos ribcage, spun around its back while pulling the Wendigo's arm with her jaw, and latched her other set of claws in at the Wendigo's opposite shoulder. She then twisted and threw the Wendigo onto the ground, biting and shredding as she death rolled the Wendigo. Shrilling and shrilling screams gave way to nothing but a low, bassy growl as the Leviathan emerged victorious over the pulpy remains of the Wendigo.

The Leviathan, face stained with blood as she swallowed a hunk of Wendigo meat, looked yet again at Emily. Her eyes narrowed. This primate had failed to keep her Queen safe, plus she carried poison with her. It would be unwise to suffer the existence of such a disloyal subject any longer. Once, the vessel would react strongly against such thoughts of harming one that she seemed to be close with, but those blocks had been destroyed by a feeling of betrayal. The low growl grew louder. There was nothing holding the Leviathan back now and, really, rotten Wendigo meat was not a meal fit for a Queen. Fresh primate, now, that just might do.

With a crash of lightning and a clap of thunder the Leviathan hiss at Emily, her jaw opening wide, her teeth stained red with blood, and then she lunged in for the kill.

Emily screamed at the top of her lungs.





"You are not comfortable,"

"With leaving Lyss-Friend alone,"

"To fight that beast,"

"You want to go back,"

The Jaws gravely voice talked to Madison as she flew in any direction but there. She heard all sorts of sounds from there but she knew that she would die if she went back there... but, was it really right to leave Lyss back there? Especially since she had her back from the beginning. Madison sharply sighed as she kept pushing forward.

"We would have no issue,"

"In helping the Burns scion,"

"Even if it'd result in the death of all of us,"

"I don't want us to die," Madison answered as she came to a sharp stop. "I want to just... go back to the things were! Where we had Kayla, Izzy, and Claude - and we didn't have to deal with the feds or whatever the fuck that thing is!" Tears started streaming down Madison's face as she realized the severity of everything weighing down on her.

However, the Jaw's face craned around her body and then faced her head on. The thing was the minature skull of a T-Rex, but somehow she managed to extrapulate some type of emotion out of it.

"... Those days are gone, Madison Brown." Each head spoke in unison as she realized that she was acting no better than the likes of Vashti.

Speaking of which... she saw a conspicious dark cloud form overhead not too far away as she heard the cries of something. She strongly suspected that was Vashti, but how in the world did she transform? They were hauling ass away from the chaos, but the whole city's in flame. Madison wasn't certain but the new thing on her mind was making sure that Emily was okay. Vashti didn't look happy with the outcome.

She jetted off towards the eye of the storm and she was hoping that Vashti didn't do what she thought she was going to do. Unfortunately, when she finally arrived on the scene, Vashti was already transformed into the Leviathan and had turned towards a disabled Emily. "Fuck!" She whisper-shouted as she put both arms out and charged Vashti head on like she was superwoman.

"Vashti!" Madison shouted to get her attention off of Emily just for one second.

The Leviathan's claws dug into Emily's shoulders as her maw expanded to be large enough to snap off a good chunk of Emily's head. Upon hearing the familiar voice the Leviathan paused as the storm intensified around them, the pupils of her eyes narrowing into a thin slit upon recognition of the source. The Leviathan roared, spittle and Wendigo blood flying towards Emily's face, as she spun to face Madison. Her tail lashed around her as she turned, most likely smacking Emily away as she took two tremoring steps forward before Madison barreled right in to her chest.

As Madison hit her, the Leviathan reached out to grab the woman and force her into a death roll to quickly end it the same way she'd finished off the Wendigo. However, she was hit too hard and too fast to get a grasp. Instead, her claws racked against the girl, impossible to tell in the moment if she hit soft flesh or bone armor as the Leviathan was knocked prone. Somewhat dazed by the blow, she attempted to flip on her belly to lash out wildly at Madison while on all fours.

Mission complete.

Emily was saved, however, Madison had to save herself as fortunately the Jaws tanked most of the Leviathan's attack. Unfortunately, the Jaws was still weak from fighting Annabelle... The Leviathan didn't break through the Jaw's armor, but they definitely cracked it. Madison knocked Vashti off balance and when she hit the ground, she did a roll and landed on her feet. But, she barely had time to process things as she saw Vashti was on the ground. She quickly leap up into the air and raised her leg and got ready to bring it down onto Vashti's chest.

The Leviathan didn't even attempt to roll away as the stomp cracked a number of ribs with a sickening crunch. However, she took the opportunity to grab hold of Madison's leg with the immense grip of both of her hands. The Leviathan opened her mouth and snapped at Madison's leg, trying to take a crippling chunk out of the girl. At the same time, the Leviathan began to twist her body, hoping to bring Madison down to the ground for an easy meal.

The Jaws was cracking more and more under the pressure of Vashti's jaws, but he was holding on for now. She tried to fly upwards but the Leviathan brought Madison down to the ground with a painful bang - the impact felt like she fell off a one story building but she can still fight. She hissed in pain as the Jaws manisfested his three skulls and they quickly lunged for the Leviathan's throat, ready to rip it out.

The Leviathan caught two of the skulls with her hands but was unable to do anything to stop the third but jerk her head. It was enough to prevent the Jaws from tearing out her jugular, the teeth instead sinking to the muscle between her neck and shoulder. The Leviathan pushed up off of Madison, ripping both herself and a chunk of flesh free from the grasp of the Jaws. The Leviathan lifted its head back and let loose a roar that shook the streets as bolts of lightning struck an overturned car and the nearby street light. The rain pounded down heavier than ever as the dark clouds overhead began to swirl with an unnatural intensity. The Leviathan let loose another roar as she spun and swung her tail at Madison.

When the moment presented itself, Madison rolled over and landed on her feet. The rain intensified and it was already had to see with the Jaws active. Yet, she could see the faint blue glow from the cure - however, she couldn't protect herself from the swing that hit her right in the chest and knocked her right onto her ass. Of course, she was able to rebalance herself. This wasn't working and at this rate, the Jaws was going to give out before the Leviathan could. She eyed the potion again before she hatched a plan, a simple one at that. She quickly flew backwards as she put up her middle finger at the Leviathan,

"Come and get me you scaly-bitch!"

Naturally, the scaly-bitch planned to do just that. The Leviathan flicked out her claws as she stomped towards Madison, the wind whipping around her as the storm howled in unison with the Leviathan. She could see her prey weakening before her. The Pretender to her throne at the top of the Coven food chain was already dead, but she wouldn't be able to ascend until she turned Madison and the Jaws into bone dust. The Leviathan leapt towards Madison, claws ripping at the air, mouth open wide to bite her head clean from her shoulders, eager to taste blood and victory.

Thankfully, Madison's gambit worked - of course it did, regular Vashti wasn't all that smart to begin with. When the Leviathan charged at her, Madison jumped up into the air assisted by the Jaws. She quickly flew through the air and landed right by the potion, but she didn't pick it up yet. She turned around as she faced Vashti, giving her the middle finger again.

"... You said you were gonna kill me, right?" Madison shrugged. "Seems to me you're too fuckin' fat and lazy to get shit done!"

Madison's taunt could hardly be heard over the Leviathan, whose howling had morphed into a feral scream of pure rage. She finished rampaging against the space where Madison had once been and turned to find her prey yet again. The Leviathan's nostril flared as lightning streaked across the sky and popped against the top of a nearby building. Another bolt struck the ground between the two, sending up debris and smoke alongside a blinding flash of light. As the burst faded Madison could see the Leviathan charging through the smoke, claws held back and ready to slash through the woman.

Instead of dodging or even blocking the attack - Madison charged at Vasti as fast as she could - with her own fist cocked back. When she got close, she swung it directly at Vashti's stomach as hard as she could. The punch slammed into the Leviathan, the power behind it strong enough to stun her as it knocked the wind out of her. Now was the moment of truth, with her free hand Madison shoved the potion as far into the thing's gullet as she possible could. A tear streamed down her eye as she thought to herself: Forgive me, Emily.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


Emily screamed at the very top of her lungs in harmony with the roaring Leviathan, who began to claw at her own throat as she thrashed away from Madison. The Leviathan's tail arced around in a big hit, but faded before it ever came close to making impact. The scales that covered the Leviathan shedded and began to clink against the ground like raindrops while the storm overheard subsided with one last low rumble before dispersing. The animalistic howling was replaced by a girlish scream as whatever remained of the Leviathan was eaten away by the potion. Her fingers stopped tearing at her throat as she dropped to her knees and began to roughly cough in a way that made her whole body convulse, her lizard eyes shifting back to human as they widened in terror.

She was dying.

With one final cough a wave of dark bile expelled itself from the girl's mouth. A tiny, crystalized lizard embryo was also spat out. Vashti fell silent as the terror stopped smothering her. She wiped her lips. Her whole body had felt like it was hurting from the most intense hangover she'd ever had, but as with actual hangovers throwing up alleviated a lot of the pain. Vashti stared down at the tiny, bloodied embryo as it was swirled up by dark water from the dying rainstorm and unceremoniously carried away to a sewer grate. Was that it? Was the Leviathan finally gone? She still felt sick, but the swirling in her stomach was different. It was over. It was finally over.

Vashti looked up at Madison. She should rush to the girl and hug her, thank her for saving her from her curse even if it put her at risk of getting chewed on by the Jaws again. All the ill-will and all the petty drama had been washed down the sewer with the remannts of the Leviathan. Vashti only felt gratitude towards Madison. She should be radiating with happiness, yet why did she feel so miserable? Then she saw Emily, saw the horror on her face, and realized how awful she felt right now was nothing in comparison. Shaking, Vashti stood up as tears washed the blood and muck from her face as she carefully approached Emily.

"Emily..." said Vashti, unable to make eye contact. Her voice was strained and somber, utterly devoid of her usual manic energy, as she continued,"Emily I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." Vashti knew that if she hadn't come along this wouldn't have happened. If she hadn't have joined the Coven this wouldn't have happened. If she hadn't have been so hungry for magic powers this wouldn't have happened. Her voice cracked as she began to sob between words, "Your sister...oh my god...oh my god..."

Vashti reached out to hug Emily.

"... Get off me, you bitch!" Emily screamed at the very top of her lungs as she shoved Vashti away with her unbroken hand. She forced herself to her feet, almost falling over because she was in so much pain that she couldn't hold herself up onto herown two feet. However, a red hot rage shot adrenaline through her that was telling her to kill Vashti. She stuck her finger out as she accused her and Madison, pain and simple,

"... You two killed my sister."

The Jaws deactivated on command by Madison, and the girl tucked her hands into her pockets as she looked down. She realized the weight of her actions and just who Emily was fighting for. She felt as if she did the right thing by helping Vashti, but was it really the right thing? Save one person and doom another? Well, she couldn't really say it was the right thing to do, and honestly, she didn't have the right or the place to truly make that distinction. That was why Madison hung her head and not a word escaped her lips.

"That's not true," whispered Vashti, clutching her chest where Emily had shoved her. Vashti frowned and glanced at the dejected Madison; for a moment it felt as if she was going to deflect Emily's accusation. "You can't blame Madison. I...I would have killed you. You can't blame her. It was me. Only me. Emily, I'm so sorry. Maybe We could—"

Vashti stopped talking. There was nothing she could do or say to make this better. She choked out one final apology and hid her face.

"... Don't bother," Madison just said with a sigh, before she faced.

"You..." Emily turned towards Madison as the next words coldly cut into her. Reeking of a familar rage to Madison when she faced down the Hound just a few months ago. "... Should have let me die."

"Vash," Madison spoke to her, "Do you think you can get her out of here?"

Vashti lowered the hands guarding her face and nodded. She could try anyway. She had a vague idea of the area they were in and the howling of the Wendigos seemed to be moving further away. Still, she wouldn't be surprised if Emily wanted nothing to do with her and refused to follow. Before she turned to usher Emily away, Vashti asked Madison, "Where are you going?"

Madison was illuminated in a purple aura as she floated up a few feet in the air. She was quiet for a second, all because she was not sure whether or not this was a sane action to take. She sighed as she just said,

"... I'm going back for Lyss."




Outside, Ezra appeared unfazed by the chaos unravelling around him, his “sword” hand unwavering as he continued to burn their unwanted guests with a harsh stare. Inside, as Ezra took in everything around him it felt like there was noxious gas pouring out of a million cranks and valves while a bunch of frantic workers in hazmat suits ran around trying to prevent a total meltdown. Arabelle said others had infiltrated the house via a portal and were walking around invisible. Normally, when the help started saying things like that it was time to put up a wanted ad, but considering the day he was inclined to believe the teacher. Besides, out of everyone else in the room, her contribution to the madness deluge was mild in comparison.

Shane, Justin, and the fake Justin all played a game of volleyball, replacing the ball with a very expensive and soon-to-be very broken chair. Georgie and the fake Tuyen both disappeared into their own respective portals, although Georgie reemerged momentarily. Alexander practiced his magical bondage on the faker while the real Tuyen’s shadow stood up from the ground. Instead of swinging, Ezra hesitated as she approached him—the so-called experts might be partially to blame, but at least they hadn’t been the ones to ruin the upholstery—and tried not to look annoyed as Georgie and Trisha’s mailer-daemon ran by.

Oh, and at some point he had heard what sounded like hell opening up. Suddenly, having the power to overcompensate no longer seemed all that impressive.

“If you would let me past. Unless you want whatever that was to come in here.”

Well, at least she had courtesy. Ezra didn’t have time to respond before Georgie was already back in the room, heralded by what sounded to be his entrance hall being destroyed. He looked through the threshold but could only see the portal to the Garden. Escaping didn’t sound like a horrible call, but he hated the idea of letting whoever the hell was in their house to stay in their house unchecked. Besides, judging by how quick his brothers were with the chair and the chain he doubted they would follow along with any sort of retreat and retaliate strategy.

Regardless, he wasn’t going to order any of his family to do anything about the intruders. They had people to take care of that. Ezra let the Configure spell on the knife end, loosely gripping the handle as he began channeling a Masterpiece spell. He turned back towards Tuyen. He really hoped this girl knew how to handle herself, because he really doubted their family would be able to recover from being involved in the death of a young girl—they had power, but they weren’t the Kennedys.

“Georgie, just make sure no more lunatics get in here,” said Ezra, stepping to the side to let Tuyen pass by. An orange light passed over the knife, whatever microscopic knicks on the blade fixing themselves to form the perfect cutting edge. Ezra sniffed, steadied his breathing, and continued, “Guess this is your shot at proving yourself qualified to help my family. Try to avoid doing any more damage to the house. Please, after you.”

He gestured towards the door, certain his intentions to follow behind her were crystal clear. Again, couldn’t have someone dying in his house. He dropped the Masterpiece spell he had on himself and was washed in a passing orange glow as he cast Prodigy in its place. The knife felt good in his hand. He flipped it and caught it with ease, ignoring the tightness in his chest as he slashed a Z in the air. As Ezra followed after Tuyen he looked over his shoulder, revealing the dark, tired eyes of a man who was at his wit’s end. A pained expression crossed his face as he said to his family, “I doubt we can top the last funeral. Just let them handle this and stay safe.”




“No, no, tell the officer that won’t be necessary. It wasn’t James' way and it won’t be mine.”

Ezra heard the front door unlatched and quickly darted around the side of the house, careful not to pass by the windows of the dining room, as a trail of cigarette smoke followed behind him before quickly dissipating. As far as he knew, he’d kept his little habit secret from the family all of these years and he wasn’t about to be outed now just because they were all hovering around him like a bunch of blood-sucking mosquitoes. He poked his head around the side to see it hadn’t been one of his siblings coming for some inane request or storming out of the meeting in a huff, but Leonidas who had opened the door. He sighed and returned to his phone call, the voice on the other end asking him a question.

“Yeah, not the first time it’s happened, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Look, I’m in a meeting right now. Have her wait at Café, Oh Yay and I’ll take care of it as soon as I can. Oh, do me a favor and give Cherry a heads up. Let her know that I’ll cover whatever the girl wants. Thanks, Arnie. No, you did the right thing. I got to go.”

Ezra leaned his head back against a pillar and took a long drag. Well, today had just got even more complicated and he hadn’t even had lunch yet. He took a moment to collect his thoughts. He wasn’t in the slightest bit dressed for the chill December air but enjoyed the momentary escape from the family nevertheless. His keys were in his pocket. He could just hop in his Civic and leave...and go where? The moment he was out of Araminta he’d start looking like that statue of the WWII soldier that James had commissioned. He had tested it, naturally, after his family started reporting their strange condition. It was real, and until it was fixed he was stuck.

Ezra shivered. It was time to rejoin the siblings. He turned to walk back around the house when an alarming sight immediately had him twist back around the side of the house, the cigarette dropping out of his hand and dying on the icy grass. A chill ran down his spine. His eyes must’ve played a trick on him, because he swore he’d just seen Leonidas open the front gate for the two kids that his family was having a meeting with. He poked his head around the corner. They were dressed differently, but there was no question that it was the same two people. He didn’t know what it meant, but he had a sinking feeling in his stomach—he didn’t need supernatural experience to know that sudden doppelgangers was never a good thing.

As the doubles went for the front door, Ezra popped a mint into his mouth and headed towards the side entrance. It was used primarily by the kitchen staff when they had dinner parties to bring in supplies or by James to escort out whatever mistress he was hiding from his then-wife. Now, it was being used by Ezra to sneak into his own house because a pair of teenagers had thoroughly startled him. He walked over to a knife block, slid a chef’s knife out of its cradle, and slowly turned his head towards the cough that came from behind him. The actual chef, whose actual knife that was, gave Ezra a confused look as he stood over the stove where he had been portioning a finely crafted bisque.

“Smells wonderful. Sadly, lunch will have to be delayed. Oscar’s guest won’t be with us long,” said Ezra, pulling the knife the rest of the way out of the block with an audible shink. “Clean up and take the rest of the day for yourself.”

Before the cook could give any protests or questions Ezra was out of the kitchen. There was an orange glow around his wrist as the broken wire puzzle/makeshift bracelet twisted and melded itself back together as Ezra cast a Configure spell. In a matter of seconds the knife in his hand, that also radiated the same orange light, shrunk down to about two inches. He hid it in the palm of his hand, careful not to cut his flesh with the still sharp blade, as he turned down the hallway. He could now hear the raised voices coming from the dining hall, followed by what sounded like a wave smacking the shore.

Ezra doubled his pace, rounding the corner and stepping into the dining room. His family appeared to have been knocked to the sides of the room and their clothes were soaked; the fire Ezra had so ever lovingly brought back to life had also been murdered by the tidal wave. The original teen couple shifted forms. The girl clapped her hands, ripping open a purple tear in reality next to herself as Alexander lashed out at her with green chains that he seemed to simply materialize from nowhere. It momentarily caught Ezra off guard, the seemingly unflappable man’s jaw going slack for a moment, before he pulled himself back together. Ezra slid the tiny blade forward and cast Configure again to increase its size, simultaneously flourishing his hand out to the side as the weapon quickly grew from the about the length of a toothpick to a chef knife shaped longsword.

“Okay, I believe this meeting is over,” he said with a calm air of authority and a withering stare at the four intruders. He lifted the blade. It was already at its maximum size, but they didn’t know that. Ezra kept channeling a Configure spell, increasing and decreasing the size of the weapon by such a small fraction it was unnoticeable. It gave the oversized chef’s knife the bonus of constantly glowing a radiant orange light, Ezra’s attempt to bluff the home intruders into thinking that the blade was more dangerous in his hands than it really was. ”Get out of my house.”




Nisha stepped off of the train that had come to a rest at Williams Station located in the heart of Araminta and adjusted the backpack slung over her shoulder. In comparison to the crowds she saw while travelling from her hometown, including a layover in both Heathrow and JFK, the station was basically a ghost town. She walked at a brisk pace through the largely abandoned station, passing by shutters pulled over storefronts that likely hadn’t been raised in years, the synthetic material of her tracksuit making a swishing noise that echoed throughout the hall. Now that she had finally made it in Araminta the girl only needed to find where the Vanburen mansion was and start integrating herself into the family. She had no idea on how she’d actually do that, but she figured she could get by with a wink and a bit of charm. Maybe Nel would come up with something once they were closer.

However, before there could be any time for scheming, Nisha needed to settle the growling in her stomach. She spied a vending machine, half-stocked with what she could imagine were potentially expired snacks. Although candy never went bad, right? Sure, why not. She could regret it later. Nisha slung her backpack off her shoulder, unzipped it, and felt around for her wallet. Panic hit her as she shifted through random toiletries still stuffed inside of plastic bags before she realized that she’d stuffed her wallet in her other bag for safe keeping. Nisha rolled her eyes at her own forgetfulness and—

“Ah, you stupid fucking idiot!”

A slapping noise echoed through the station as Nisha smacked her forehead, clearly remembering putting her suitcase in a storage compartment where she had left it when getting off of the train. She turned on her heels and broke off into a dead sprint back to the platform. She wasted no time climbing the marble stairs to the second level, instead willing a pair of phantom limbs to burst out of her shoulders and grab hold of the railing above. She hoisted herself over the railing and continued in her sprint, unaware and uncaring if any normal person had just witnessed a woman appear to leap fifteen feet up a wall. Nisha burst out onto the platform just in time to witness the train departing; she cursed loudly, the f-bomb carrying throughout the station like a cluster strike.

Nisha flopped onto a bench. Not only was her money gone, but so were her clothes and phone charging—not that her phone worked over here anyway. She tore her book bag from off of her shoulder, slung it around to the front of her face, and dove herself into it as she vented her anger into a long, muffled scream. She kicked and jumped up into a sitting position and slumped forward. Actually, this could be beneficial, couldn’t it? Make her appear a bit more helpless, right? Surely that’d tug on the heartstrings of a couple rich, spoiled elites and help sell the illusion. Yeah, this was a good thing. A happy accident. Just one problem—she didn’t know quite where she was going, and she likely needed money for a cab. Nisha sighed. Whatever. She’d improvise. It was more fun that way.

Already feeling a bit better because of the excitement caused by things already going off the rails, Nisha jumped up from her seat, scowled at the station worker giving her a weird look, and headed for the exit. A bad feeling hit her as she left the station and found herself smackdab in the epicenter of the rust belt. Nisha walked the block, her arms wrapped tight around her as the chill air proved to be too much for her light jacket, and admired the derelict around her as she searched for a cab. It was odd to think that one of the richest families in the world lived in this city, which so far to her was nothing but closed businesses and gutted warehouses. Nisha peered down an empty alleyway, disappointed to not see a couple of bums warming their hands around a burning trash can. Perhaps they would appear later, but this was the kind of place she knew she didn’t want to be walking around alone after dark. Especially not after the fascists at the airport had made her ditch her pocket knife.

With no cab in sight, nor any money for a fare anyway, Nisha kept walking. Worn down buildings spliced with railroad tracks on railroad tracks slowly gave way to nicer, newer looking residences and shops that were neatly decorated with Christmas lights and oversized ribbons. It was all very quaint and served as a stark contrast to her first impression of the city. The streets weren’t necessarily busy, but there were enough people running around doing their holiday shopping to create a kind of buzz. Outside of one of the stores was a man dressed as Santa if he had a liposuction. The bell in his hand was ringing nonstop and people were dropping money into the bucket next to him. Nisha eyed the bucket, accepting that she was fully willing to stoop low enough to swipe some cash from Father Christmas, when the sign for the store behind him caught her eye: Vanburen’s Hardware.

Nisha smiled and entered the store, casting one look back at the bucket flush with cash. Another time, maybe. The store was fairly small for a hardware place, but neatly organized and well-maintained. The middle-aged man behind the counter gave her a smile and a nod as she entered and then continued to check out the customer he was helping. It didn’t take genius to realize that, clearly, the man behind the counter must be a Vanburen, hence the store’s name, and Nisha had just come up with a genius plan to get herself pulled into the family. She rushed the counter and slammed her hands down on it.

“Oh gosh I am so happy to—”

“One second, miss. Let me finish—”

Nisha did not, wedging herself between the clerk and the customer.

“But you don’t understand Mr. Ezra,” she said, pulling the name of one of the Vanburens out at random. She had done a light bit of research into the family beforehand. “I’m—”

“Miss, please, if you would just—”

“But I’m your long lost sister, Mr. Ezra! Finally come home.”

The clerk gave her a confused stare, which she mistook for him taking the bait and she queued the waterworks and dumped out the sob story. Almost in one entire breath she said, “And oh gosh, Mr. Ezra, I must be the luckiest girl in the world. I always knew my real family was out there, but it was hard being an orphan and all, and when I finally got dad’s letter I couldn’t believe it, but I spent what money I had from working in the factory to get a plane ticket, but when I got here somebody swiped my bag and with it the letter from our dad but I can just tell by looking at you that we got the same eyes so we gotta be brother and sister and oh am I just so glad to finally have a family to call me own and—”

“Miss I am not Ezra Vanburen, I just work for him,” said the clerk. He handed the customer their bag and receipt as Nisha stared at him dumbfounded, her crocodile tears momentarily paused, “Sorry about that. Have a good one.”

“But you know him, right?” asked Nisha, trying to go at it the same way but from a different angle. She sniffled to really sell it and pitched up her voice as she spoke. “Look you just gotta call my brother Ezra and tell him I’m alive and that I need help and I’m sure he’d reward you greatly for finding his long lost sister and I’d be eternally grateful and—”

“Stop, stop. I’m not going to bother Mr. Vanburen just because”—Nisha erupted into the most obnoxious, fake wailing she could muster, making heads turn as the clerk pumped his hands to get the girl to hush—“Look I’ll call him if it just makes you stop.”

“Oh you’re just the best!” shouted Nisha, instantly dropping the act.

The beleaguered clerk grabbed the corded phone near him and hit the speed dial. Nisha leaned against the counter, her eyes wandering as she heard the faint sound of a ring bleed through from the phone. They settled on a display of box cutters on the counter. Not necessarily a knife, but a solid alternative. She glanced back at the clerk as a loud beep came through the speaker and he asked for Ezra to call him back. He set the phone down and gave the girl a shrug.

“Call him again!” demanded Nisha.

“Look, you can just wait in the breakroom and I’ll let you know when he calls back. Mr. Vanburen is a very busy man.”

CALL HIM AGAIN!





Ezra could no longer take it. He slipped his phone out of his pocket as it vibrated yet again, rejected the call—six missed calls from the hardware store. Six! He had a number of unread emails and text messages as well that were just begging to be opened, but he overpowered the temptation. Georgie voiced her displeasure with the whole situation. Ezra found that he agreed with everything she said, but wished she had a little more tact. Sabrina shutdown her sister, pointing out that they had no other options. The edge of Ezra’s mouth tensed. Sabrina was wrong there. They always had other options; they just haven't found them yet. In part due to some of us already giving up, thought Ezra, looking away as he caught sight of Shane’s flask.

Their expert spoke up, “...most curses can't affect people with magic."

Ezra sighed and glanced over at Oscar. Did he tell these people everything? For all they knew these kids could be tabloid reporters. Maybe they should table this conversation until he could have their lawyer draw up some non-disclosure agreements and...what? Sue them if they leak anything mentioning magic or curses? Nobody would believe it even if they worked for the Times. Hell, Ezra hardly believed it and he’d once shrunk his desk on accident. He swallowed his frustration at Oscar and continued to listen. The boy asked them how much they knew about magic. Ezra’s answer to that question was more than he ever wanted to, although he imagined it barely scratched the surface of the secrets their father had been hiding from them.

He was about to reply openly when his phone buzzed again. He had forgotten to silence it. It was the hardware store yet again. Family was more important than business, but he also never had a business call him so many times in such a short duration of time. Ezra looked up at his family. It seemed like they were all looking back at him expectantly. They all wanted somebody else to do all the heavy lifting. He expected as much. James had spoiled them. Only...the phone buzzed again. Ezra nodded to Oscar.

“I have to take this. This is your forte anyway,” said Ezra. He headed towards the door but stopped before leaving and turned to add, “Whatever we do, despite our supposed differences, we’re going to do it as a family.”

It was Ezra’s subtle way of telling Oscar and the others to not decide anything else until he was back. He stepped out into the entrance hall and pulled the phone to his ear. The other Vanburens could hear a faintly bored “What?” through the doorway and the creak of the front door opening, followed immediately by a second louder, almost agitated “What!?” cut short by the slamming of the front door.




After almost forty years, Ezra still took the same spot at the dining room table: the one at the bottom left hand corner of the table. What the other Vanburens didn’t know was that this was the primo seat in the room. Not only did it offer a quick escape through the service entrance or main door, it also provided a nice view of the fireplace and the large bay windows to stare at whenever there was a lull in the conversation or James started up one of his long-winded toasts. However, the key reason why Ezra had chosen that spot for his entire life was because it was the furthest he could get from where his father typically sat without having to look across the table at him for the entire evening. Some might have expected him to move up to James spot like a cousin at a large family Thanksgiving finally getting to move from the card table to an actual table after someone’s aunt died, but he didn’t want the chair. It was far too emblematic.

The fire was getting low. Perhaps he could shrink father’s seat and use it for kindling? Ezra tilted his head and smirked at the thought. Trisha might’ve been able to pull something like that off, but something destructive like that was a bit too dramatic for the man. Guess he’d have to take care of the fire the old fashion way. With a soft groan Ezra stood, smoothed out his sweater, grabbed his mug, and sauntered over to the grand fireplace. He moved the logs around with the poker and the flames regained a bit of spirit, cackling in gratitude as Ezra leaned an elbow against the mantle and observed the room. His chair might’ve been the best seat in the room, but right here was the perfect spot. It offered warmth, something that he almost never felt when surrounded by his family, and a way to immediately end any unwanted conversation by immolating himself by jumping into the fire. It was perfect.

The sound of the fire was soon the only sound in the room. It would’ve been peaceful if Ezra didn’t feel the weight of about a dozen or so eyes staring at him as if he’d been the one to call this emergency family meeting. Instead of enjoying the calm, Ezra spent the time actively looking bored, occasionally poking the fire, and not pulling out his phone because the moment he pulled out his phone he’d immediately be sucked into work. He had mistakenly set it to vibrate only instead of just turning the thing off, and every few minutes he felt his pocket buzz. Ezra didn’t have to look at the pile up of missed messages to know that there was currently a fire somewhere else in Araminta and he was the one expected to put it out.

Ezra took a sip of his mug. Somebody coughed into their hand. A log popped in the fireplace. An ocelot purred. Finally, Oscar walked to the vacant spot at the head of the table, cleared his throat, and began. Ezra watched his younger brother with intent, although his eyes kept drifting over to the ocelot sitting in Sabrina’s lap. He didn’t remember which one of his siblings had twisted James' arm into getting them an exotic animal instead of something normal like a dog, but he could’ve sworn he’d donated that damn animal to the local zoo already. Had he forgotten to finalize the deal or had one of the others swooped in to stop the pickup? Either way, it was another task for the list.

“Supernatural experts?” muttered Ezra under his breath. He cocked an eyebrow, folded his arms over his chest, and stared his brother down as Oscar continued. Everyone, Ezra included, always said Oscar was the smartest one in the family, but that didn’t mean he was exempt from stupid ideas. Ezra highly doubted that anyone who called themselves supernatural experts were experts in anything but BS. Besides, this little curse of theirs was something Ezra thought was best kept within the family. They should be blathering about it to some weirdos who saw a couple episodes of Ghost Adventures and decided to emulate it. Ezra appreciated Oscar taking the initiative, but it would’ve been nice if the kid had come to him for some consultation before inviting what he imagined would be a couple of part-time Hot Topic employees into their house. Not to mention that Ezra had a feeling like he’d be the one to front the bill. He doubted that his siblings realized how expensive their silly whims ended up being.

"They should already be here, right about now..."

“Hold up. What?” asked Ezra, standing up from off of the wall. Anyone else would’ve betrayed their inner feelings at this point, but Ezra was a cool cucumber. For all the others knew he’d probably misheard Oscar instead of being upset. Ezra was about to dissuade his brother to call the whole thing off when Justin and Tuyen entered the room. He sunk back against the wall and gave the intruders a lookover. They weren’t the most professionally dressed and their all black everything getup made him inwardly laugh, but they weren’t as dumpy looking as he had anticipated.

Nor were they as old. Oh God, had Oscar hired highschoolers? Ezra felt something sink in the pit of his stomach. How much ridicule would the family face if word got out that they were now financing a couple that looked like they could’ve been cast in a Disney Channel original? The freshman girl asked for the bathroom. Perhaps she thought she needed a hall pass. Thankfully, there was a teacher present. Ezra turned to the girl and offered her tired, closed-mouth smile, as he gestured over towards Arabelle.

“It’s a big house. Arabelle will show you the way,” said Ezra. Despite his endless exhaustion his voice was as velvety smooth as ever, yet it still managed to sound almost dismissive. He shot Arabelle a look that said watch her. Ezra wasn’t about to allow a stranger walk around their house unsupervised after the break-in a few weeks ago.

"I guess while she's gone, you all can explain to me what happened and anything you might know,” said Justin.

“Perhaps you would like some introductions first? Ezra Vanburen,” said Ezra, offering Justin a firm handshake before leading him towards a chair. As he did he listed off the names of the people in the room and gestured towards them, ending with the one who had called the meeting in the first place. “...and obviously you already know Oscar. Now, I imagine he has already given you some of the details, but in case it his slipped his mind I suppose I can fill you in.” Ezra took his post back by the fireplace. “The short version of it is that my entire family is experiencing an extreme case of carpal tunnel, or perhaps a collective delusion, the moment they set foot outside of this town. Cursed, if you believe in that sort of thing.”

“And the long version will have to wait until you can prove this supernatural expertise of yours. While I trust Oscar, he can be a bit excitable when it comes to certain things. I believe my other siblings would feel more at ease if you can show us that you are what you say you are before we continue,”
said Ezra. The thin smile on his face disappeared as he stared Justin down and looked for any signs of dishonesty.
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