BrokenPromise

The Mysteries of Awilix (A Planetary, Magic RP)

K E E F E R B E R N S T E I N

Male ● Twenty-Seven ● Carpenter

_{P E R S O N A L I T Y}

Tends to be care free and in high spirits. Keefer makes an effort to get along with everyone, even people who might not like him or visa versa. Regardless of their past or how they treat him, Keefer doesn't wish ill will on anyone. While he gets along well with most people, Keefer does like to keep to himself most of the time. Despite his apparent carefree nature, Keefer can become very serious when someone runs the risk of getting injured or killed. He tends to be more aggressive when using his lunos.

_{A P P E A R A N C E}

Has shaggy brown hair and wears the cloth of the working man. Keefer has no problem being seen as a brainless grunt. Comfort is more important than design. Despite the disrepair his attire may be in, he has better hygiene than most people. A squeaky clean man in rugged clothes.

When he does go to socialize, he keeps to his motto of comfort before fashion. He's not so uncouth that he'd wear sweat pants to a birthday party however. He likes to layer his clothes, usually dark exterior shirts over brighter undershirts. Keefer is very much into versatile wear, like hoodies, and loves things with decals and symbols on them.

_{B A C K G R O U N D / H I S T O R Y}

Keefer had what you would call a fairly boring past. He was raised in the country, and spent most of his teen years helping out on the farm or working as a handyman. He couldn't afford higher education, but eventually decided to specialize in construction. Everyone really liked Keefer's work ethic and quality, but he was kind of clumsy. Sometimes tools or things around the work site would just disappear. He always took responsibility, it was never anything of much value, so no one had the heart to punish him. It wasn't like Keefer was stealing, right?

It was a miracle that Keefer even got aboard the Noah II, being such an unremarkable human. His father was, however, and passed away from illness days after receiving an invitation to come aboard. Because they had near matching names, he was able to board unhitched. (Same first and last name, same middle initial. However because the middle name was different, he's not a Jr.)

His life hasn't changed much, save for the loss of everyone he ever knew and loved. His sister being the only exception. while it's not nearly as large an issue as Eidolon, some are concerned that Keefer looks two or three decades younger than his profile says it should. There's also the matter of his entirely different skill set.

_{L U N O S A B I L I T I E S}

Dead Cell
_{» C A P A B I L I T I E S}

When active, Dead cell suppresses other human's abilities to control Lunos within a ten foot radius. That's a twenty foot diameter sphere FYI.

_{» D R A W B A C K S}

He can not exclude people from it's effects, and the longer he keeps it activated the higher his blood pressure gets. This gradually makes him more aggressive, triggers his adrenaline, and can cause him physical harm if not properly managed.

_{W E A P O N S}

Aside from his tools, Keefer doesn't really carry anything that can be used as a weapon. However, you never know what might disappear from a job site...

How many bumps?

It's not always your RP that might need to be scrapped, it could be the presentation.

I can't speak for this forum, but I personally never bump topics without making changes or giving people something new to look at.

There are no bad RPs, just ones with better presentation and ideas appealing to the masses.

The Mysteries of Awilix (A Planetary, Magic RP)

Keefer: The only questions I have about this character is how the Lunos actually works.

Dead Cell suppresses the activation within the area, but what if a Lunos was already active while in the zone? If it does suppress an active Lunos then maybe the word nullify might be a better option. A little more clarity on how it works would be advisable so people can understand any consequences for if they interact with your character.

The drawbacks might need some expansion as well. People can enter the Dead Cell with an active Lunos, but it doesn't tell us the consequences of entering, ie: does the ability deactivate or is it still active? There is also the limitation of use. While I don't like time based abilities, as time in a roleplay is indefinable, how long does this ability last for with opposing players and is there anything preventing the character from spamming the ability?

@NuttsnBolts

I had a much longer version written up, but it seemed cumbersome and confusing. I guess what's left of the description needs some editing.

In a magical setting, Dead cell would be an area where everyone who enters it has "silence" cast on them. If you're in dead cell, you can't cast spells. if you're outside of dead cell, you can cast spells. It's that simple.

It's impossible for me to say how someone will be affected entering dead cell because i don't know how everyone's abilities will work. Entering dead cell suppresses the part of the human genome that allows Lunos to be used. If your lunos was to make a car appear out of thin air, you could get in it and drive into dead cell unafected. However, if your ability required constant input, like if you could fly or emoliate yourself, those abilities would be shut down as soon as you entered dead cell. Or in the case of flying, you might just not be able to change direction. I think other players will have a much better idea of how their lunos abilities will be affected by dead cell than I do. But if I had to guess (and as an example) here's what would probably happen to your characters.

I get the impression Jackson is constantly in control of gravity, and it's not something he "sets up." So entering dead cell would immediately cause gravity to return to normal.

Cerridwen could go either way. If she's actually placing her contentiousness inside a machine, dead cell would only prevent her from returning back to her own body, provided the original body was inside dead cell. But if it's a proxy thing, like she's controlling a robot remotely, dead cell would cut the communication off instantly.

Eidolon could teleport into dead cell, but not out.

There's nothing preventing Keefer from "spamming" the ability, but keefer doesn't really have the tools to exploit it. He's a carpenter, not a body builder. He also doesn't have access to firearms. But if we wanted a drawback, I guess it could be that his blood pressure rises, causing him to get increasingly irritable and for his adrenaline to start pumping. Over usage could cause him to black out, if not have a stroke.

Lenna/Holla: To be honest this character confused me a little bit until I reached towards the end of the character sheet, but I'm still scratching my head a little bit. I'm assuming that they are the same person with two different personas? It's just a little vague on some of these details to help grasp the image on who the character is as a whole. Remember, this is OOC information so if you need explain something here and state that it's not IC knowledge, then other players should take that into consideration when interacting with the character.

NuttsnBolts

The character is intentionally difficult to grasp. I enjoy surprising people, and I feel that revealing the impostor's true identity takes away from some of the fun. I feel that understanding both of these "personas" should let people interact with her well enough, better so than if they knew the full story. If that's not a satisfactory answer, then i'll gladly explain things over PM. But if I have to write down the impostor's true identity for everyone to see I'd just as soon not roll them.

The Imposter ability does raise a question, not to do with the ability, but how it will be played. What sort of indication will you be using so that players don't interact to your character and refer to her by the wrong name?

NuttsnBolts

If she's Lenna, I'll call her Lenna. If she's Holla, I'll call her Holla.

I guess it would also be okay for people to call her impostor if they feel confused, or they look at my last post and scan for the character's name. The personas are so radically different it shouldn't be too hard to tell who appeared in the last post. Of course, people who plan on interacting with my characters should be reading my posts in full anyway.

...Right?

Did you have any plans of eventually showing off their face claims? (Just a curious thought, not related to the critique)

NuttsnBolts

Keefer I might do. I don't really like browsing for art much, but if I see something that makes me say "That's Keefer!" I'll put it up.

Impostor would be tough, if not impossible. Lenna would be easy enough to get a picture of, but Holla changes her look so much it would be hard to find something that matched her every form.

EDIT: I made the following changes to Keefer's ability section:

_{» C A P A B I L I T I E S}

When active, Dead cell suppresses other human's abilities to control Lunos within a ten foot radius. That's a twenty foot diameter sphere FYI.

_{» D R A W B A C K S}

He can not exclude people from it's effects, and the longer he keeps it activated the higher his blood pressure gets. This gradually makes him more aggressive, triggers his adrenaline, and can cause him physical harm if not properly managed.

Also, his aggression is no longer something he does automatically, it's triggered by his lunos.

The Mysteries of Awilix (A Planetary, Magic RP)

K E E F E R B E R N S T E I N

Male ● Twenty-Seven ● Carpenter

_{P E R S O N A L I T Y}

Tends to be care free and in high spirits. Keefer makes an effort to get along with everyone, even people who might not like him or visa versa. Regardless of their past or how they treat him, Keefer doesn't wish ill will on anyone. While he gets along well with most people, Keefer does like to keep to himself most of the time. Despite his apparent carefree nature, Keefer can become very serious when someone runs the risk of getting injured or killed. He tends to be more aggressive when using his lunos.

_{A P P E A R A N C E}

Has shaggy brown hair and wears the cloth of the working man. Keefer has no problem being seen as a brainless grunt. Comfort is more important than design. Despite the disrepair his attire may be in, he has better hygiene than most people. A squeaky clean man in rugged clothes.

When he does go to socialize, he keeps to his motto of comfort before fashion. He's not so uncouth that he'd wear sweat pants to a birthday party however. He likes to layer his clothes, usually dark exterior shirts over brighter undershirts. Keefer is very much into versatile wear, like hoodies, and loves things with decals and symbols on them.

_{B A C K G R O U N D / H I S T O R Y}

Keefer had what you would call a fairly boring past. He was raised in the country, and spent most of his teen years helping out on the farm or working as a handyman. He couldn't afford higher education, but eventually decided to specialize in construction. Everyone really liked Keefer's work ethic and quality, but he was kind of clumsy. Sometimes tools or things around the work site would just disappear. He always took responsibility, it was never anything of much value, so no one had the heart to punish him. It wasn't like Keefer was stealing, right?

It was a miracle that Keefer even got aboard the Noah II, being such an unremarkable human. His father was, however, and passed away from illness days after receiving an invitation to come aboard. Because they had near matching names, he was able to board unhitched. (Same first and last name, same middle initial. However because the middle name was different, he's not a Jr.)

His life hasn't changed much, save for the loss of everyone he ever knew and loved. His sister being the only exception. while it's not nearly as large an issue as Eidolon, some are concerned that Keefer looks two or three decades younger than his profile says it should. There's also the matter of his entirely different skill set.

_{L U N O S A B I L I T I E S}

Dead Cell
_{» C A P A B I L I T I E S}

When active, Dead cell suppresses other human's abilities to control Lunos within a ten foot radius. That's a twenty foot diameter sphere FYI.

_{» D R A W B A C K S}

He can not exclude people from it's effects, and the longer he keeps it activated the higher his blood pressure gets. This gradually makes him more aggressive, triggers his adrenaline, and can cause him physical harm if not properly managed.

_{W E A P O N S}

Aside from his tools, Keefer doesn't really carry anything that can be used as a weapon. However, you never know what might disappear from a job site...

L E N N A / H O L L A

Female ● Twenty-Three ● Miner-Overseer / Fame Seeker

_{P E R S O N A L I T Y}

Lenna is serious, and can be very intense during a disagreement. Jokes and small talk tend to annoy her, as she prefers to only talk about the task at hand. In relaxed settings she can be more approachable, but most are put off by her abrasive nature. Those that can deal with her rough edges often find her a dependable, passionate person.

Holla on the other hand tends to be bubbly and takes little of anything very seriously. Her flirty, friendly nature makes her easy to get along with. She can seem like a bit of a spaz, and has a reputation for being an air head. But those that know her are aware neither of those are true.

_{A P P E A R A N C E}

Lenna likes to look business like, always in uniform, always with black curtain hair. This doesn't ever change, even when off the job site. You can feel her presence as a professional when she enters the room. This isn't to say she doesn't switch up her colors. Her favorite uniforms are white, grey, navy blue, and crimson. With an exception to white, Lenna tries to avoid wearing bright colors, and never wears black.

Holla on the other hand likes to look feminine and cute. That's what she'd tell you, but there are plenty of guys (and some girls) that find her outfits provocative as well. It isn't far from the truth to call her outfits costumes, as her clothes are typically inspired by maids, nurses, club wear, and the like. She also loves to accessorize. Holla also has long, golden hair that she styles differently each day.

_{B A C K G R O U N D / H I S T O R Y}

Lenna was always the family favorite, which is why she was too damn proud. As the oldest daughter, she took over her parents family owned mining operation and became owner, manager, and overseer of the entire mobile operation. This happened after years of studying and putting time into her job. She ruled with an iron fist, suspending pay or firing people who couldn't keep up with her. But those that could enjoyed pay and safety that only Lenna's expertise could provide.

Not much is known about Holla's life on earth, but she was a huge internet sensation. She never worked with any official companies, but the world of mass media was flooded with her pictures and videos. She stared in some home made movies, and did singing as well. She never became famous in real life, but she was an internet sensation that spent a fair bit of time in the lime light.

Lenna's fame and Holla's charm were both things the people felt could be useful in a new world. while both received invitations, only one of them boarded the Noah. It's unclear who entered and what became of the other woman. What is known is that miraculously, both woman are now on Awilix.

Lenna has resumed her mining, but Holla has gone from becoming an internet sensation to a real celebrity. She's started appearing in holo magazines and rumored to appear in the first movie ever filmed on Awilix. The survival efforts aren't really focusing on the return of modern entertainment at this time, but Holla is still pushing strong for this. In her words: "The only way to return to the modern times is through entertainment! We will stop being survivors when we can sit down and enjoy stories about tantalizing woman, and the men who abduct or save them!"

_{L U N O S A B I L I T I E S}

Impostor
_{» C A P A B I L I T I E S}

When active, She can alter her physical body to look like someone else. Specifically, she can grow out or shorten her hair, change her hair's color, skin tone, body shape, and apparent age. She cannot change the shape of her skeleton structure, sex, or change her mass.

_{» D R A W B A C K S}

Her eyes will always be lit up when she's using imposer. This can make people suspicious of her, and makes it almost impossible to take the form of certain people.

_{W E A P O N S}

As a miner, Lenna has access to lots of deconstructing tools, from mining tools to explosives. She seldom carries such tools on her person. However, the two tools she's most likely to carry are...

Vein Buster: This device isn't much bigger than a pistol, and acts like a caulk gun in it's operation. The Vein Buster rapidly pushes out an explosive gel. The gel formulation is fairly stable, and will only detonate when electricity is sent through it. Miners detonate the gel by inserting a microchip into the gel, and then commanding the chip to spark with a remote. The Vein Buster is also used by law enforcement to breech locked doors, and by assassins to set traps.

Pocket Pickax: As the name implies, it's a one-handed tool for chipping apart rocks. It works by shooting photon bullets designed to break up smaller rocks. while surprisingly accurate, the tool's bullets aren't very strong. This lower energy level is to ensure the tool lasts long enough to do it's job and not throw debris into the miner's face. while effective on harder substances, the bullets aren't as effective at breaking apart softer objects like human tissue. Getting shot with this feels a bit like getting punched by a bare knuckle boxer. Head shots have the potential to knock out people at close range, but often just daze tougher people.

Holla on the other hand is always in possession of a home made "pepper bomb" to ward off overzealous fans and lustful stalkers. The pepper bomb is actually made from a native plant called "Venus thorn." The red plant is ground up, mixed with distilled water, and then stored under pressure in a fogging canister. Venus thorn is poisonous, but non-lethal. Touching the poison on it's ground up flesh causes a severe yet momentary burning sensation by tricking the nerves into thinking they are on fire. As soon as the poison is absorbed into the body, the effect wears off. The effects seldom last longer than four or five seconds, but the pain makes it almost impossible to stand or handle tools properly.

Cara's Originally Titled OoC Hangout Thread ♥ (Still)

gloomy bear = panda?

@Michellin

Or do they mean...

Cara's Originally Titled OoC Hangout Thread ♥ (Still)

...She changed the costume on me.

It's not a bunny, but I don't really want to comment until the event is over.

Is anyone else dressing up?

1x1 Combat (D&D Style)

People in free-form battles get away with waaaay too much crap, no need to regurgitate that again in this topic. I was once fighting a mutant sausage that I'm pretty sure was borderline god modding. I can call him cheap because I won, but only because I was able to bait him into doing something reckless by going after his girlfriend. It was amusing, but rules would have made the experience that much better. I don't know how you balance a monk that fights with "sonic paint" and a sausage that can use attacks from every foe he's ever slain. And that sausage had done a LOT of dueling!

When I say "won at character creation", I'm not referring to the dice rolls. A sorcerer will naturally be at a disadvantage to a paladin because of the paladin's higher magic armor and the sorcerer's lower physical armor. Stat allocation and skill choice also play a bigger roll in more closely evened out duels. Basically, the winner is the one who prepared the right way, rather than made the best moves.

To help make things interesting, maybe giving both parties some gold to spend on weapons, armor, and utility items would be best.

1x1 Combat (D&D Style)

The only D&D rule sets I've played with are 3 and 4, so I'm not sure how 3.5 makes mass miss streaks a thing of the past. But I wonder if it would be better to go to an even earlier version that didn't require a game grid. Was it version 1 or 2 that didn't require miniatures?

I'm typically not very interested in combat, mostly because it is free form and there's no skill involved. You're expected to try to win by way of arbitrary rules. However, the idea of playing with actual rules might make things more interesting for me. If you need someone to test this... I might be in the mood to try it out. If nothing more than a test.

My only concerns thus far is that there won't be much depth. You don't get very much strategy at level 1, and I'm afraid the battles will be won at character creation instead of the arena itself if you catch my drift.

Cara's Originally Titled OoC Hangout Thread ♥ (Still)

So my mother's doing something to promote their business, and she wanted to make me dress up as a headless person with a head in a jar for this event. The head in the jar is going to be my head, so that's cool. as long as I'm not a bunny I think it'll be okay.

Are we expecting too much from newbs?

What I wanted to say has already been said.

All I'm going to add is that if you're a huge dick in OOC, people will tell you your writing sucks to deflate your ego. Also, I'd keep the whole "I'm 13 and have mental problems!" thing on the down low. Regardless of why you have mental instability, it's not something most people want in their OOC. Enough drama without that shit.