Dion

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Naruto: Black Sun

Review in red
Done!

Hope it all checks out.

Cheers!

Nana Benzaiten

Nana Benzaiten

“I'm in no hurry. Take your time.” ok, i took my time with reviewing this yeah
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▸ Name:

Nana Benzaiten.

▸ Nicknames:

Ben; He hates it though because it means poop. no english names, no matter how convoluted your reasoning. i'm not having it -- this isn't some wapanese attempt at making interesting kumogakure names like Ay and Bee, this is you going 'I wanna roleplay as Ben' and finding a way to make it happen

▸ Clan:

Nana Clan.

▸ Rank:

Genin.

▸ Sex:

♂ Male.

▸ Sex appearance:

♂ Male.

▸ Age:

13 years old.

▸ Age appearance:

He looks about his age.

▸ Sexuality:

Homosexual.

of course
▸ Birthplace:

Amegakure.

▸ Village:

Amegakure.

▸ Affiliations:

ｘ Nana Clan.
ｘ Amegakure.
ｘ The Amegakure Animal Shelter. in the midst of war and poverty, we do still have to find time to help strays for some reason

▸ Chakra natures:

Primary nature:

Yang Release. why

Secondary nature:

Yin Release. why

Tertiary nature:

Earth Release.

▸ Wardrobe:

His attire in general isn't anything particularly special. For combat purposes, he wears the standard Amergakure genin uniform, though his is a slightly more form fitting to fit his thin frame. He wears the Amegakure band around his left ankle and the insignia of his own clan is engraved on a bracelet he wears around his wrist.

Outside of combat, he wears simple clothes like a t-shirt and jeans this is Naruto, not New York City circa 2018. i dont think jeans are around. Benzaiten is also known to wear garments resembling overalls and a large straw hat why. He tends to like this style for some reason. Apparently his grandfather makes a living as a farmer somewhere in the Land of Fire, so he seemingly mimics his grandfather's style whenever he comes to visit him and his sisters farmers in feudal japan farm, well, rice. I'm not sure that wearing overalls and straw hats is conductive to the image of a feudal japanese farmer. He can often be found carrying around a small drawing book that he sketches in when he is bored.

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Biography

The Nana Clan
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▸ History:

Born and raised within the confines of Amegakure, Ben always found his hometown to be somewhat ruffled. Even from a very young age, the perpetual rain was something that he could never completely attune to. This was a common complex amongst the members of his clan, a clan of cat-like shinobi who somehow settled within a city with which they had the least compatibility with of the major nations. Cats in a rainy city? What gives?

Ben had always been shy and bit withdrawn, opting to remain indoors due to the natural climate of his village. Instead of playing in the rain like the other children, he'd spend hours gazing out the window, drawing and sketching the images of the world and the people that passed before him. Like most in his clan, he would eventually learn to somewhat acclimatize to his village as he got older, but a lingering despondence would forever linger. Though still a wallflower, he would make friends like any other school child, his bloodline ability to turn into a cat especially a hit with the ladies. so you mean a literal henge no jutsu. that's not a kekkei genkai

Not that he liked girls anyways, he'd realize once he got a bit older, though he had a profound respect for them. Ben was finally entering the typical genesis of a young adolescent, discovering who he was and what he liked and so on and so forth. It didn't take long for him realize that though. He practically stalked one of his male classmates in his feline form for half a year. As the middle child of 7 siblings, life was always interesting in his clan; two of his siblings being pure felines made for interesting situations. if his homosexuality is a pivotal point of his personality instead of a side-piece of information i'm gonna be mad

When his father came back from war, it was invigorating to see him again, proud and strong and nimble, with a keen feline intuition and elusiveness. When he wasn't helping at the local animal shelter, he spent his time training in the ways of his father. Losing his mother when he was 12 was difficult to come to terms with, but he's come to realize with she will always be with him, in mind, body, and soul. you devoted more time to his respect for women and his homosexuality than the loss of his mother -- which was worth a measly 1 sentence

▸ Personality:

✓ Gentle.

Ben is known amongst his siblings as having always been the most agreeable of the bunch. He is sweet-natured, adorable subjective, and mild in temperament and speaks to others in a soft-spoken and gentle manner. This generally makes him endearing, loveable, and easy to talk to.

✗ Shy.

He is a wallflower through and through. Ben oftens feels awkward around new people and it takes longer for him to get to know them. He can be somewhat mistrusting of others. Ben gets embarrassed easily, but appreciates it when people approach him first.

✓ Patient.

One of his strongest qualities is that he is extremely patient. It's rare that he gets flustered by time. He has an uncanny ability and willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. This makes him perfect for prolonged situations where patience is a virtue.

✗ Sensitive.

Ben can sometimes become easily emotional due to surrounding factors. He cries relatively easily it's like you made him into a stereotype homosexual tbh and his feelings can get hurt easily as well. Even simple things like a starry night can make him feel nostalgic what. His siblings say he is the crybaby of the family. When someone hurts his feelings, he often distances himself from others.

✓ Gentlemanly.

Like a knight, Ben is very courteous and chivalrous, especially towards girls. m'lady He does quaint things like open doors for them and let them eat first. Despite being shy around people, he is actually incredibly brave and gallant, a trait that makes him quite charming.

✗ Pensive.

His thoughts are always flowing, so much so that he sometimes becomes a bit pensive, getting lost in deep reflective thought. He can become so introspective at times, that he can seem a bit absentminded and melancholic and lose sight of what's ahead or miss important things that someone said. Ben is known to daydream often and can appear a bit lazy because of it.

✓ Cat-like Intuition.

Like a cat, Benzaiten is nimble, agile, and very perceptive of his surroundings and has a keen sense for danger. He has a very strong "escape" instinct, so when he feels cornered or trapped, it provokes an uncharacteristically powerful fear-based escape behavior within him, where becomes aggressive and hostile. (This can be a good or a bad thing)

✗ Insecure.

He doesn't have the greatest confidence in himself or his capabilities. Ben sometimes doubts himself, especially when he cannot achieve something that he really set his heart out on doing or when people around him are stronger. Because he can become easily discouraged, it is important to reassure him otherwise.

I skipped the rest, it reminds me too much of angel eyes
▸ Dreams and hopes:

ｘ Befriend a Legendary Beast.
ｘ Become a famous artist.
ｘ Rescue as many animals as he can. how noble
ｘ Become a chunin.

▸ Desires:

ｘ Meet his favorite painter. I didn't know he was into culture
ｘ Befriend different types of animals.
ｘ Go on vacation. when you live in an isolated country that has been wartorn for 100 years and has been trampled on by literally every other country, this is what you wanna do
ｘ Cat Naps. ok angel eyes

▸ Fears:

ｘ His sisters or father dying before he does.
ｘ Nightmares of his mother's passing.
ｘ Animals suffering and not being able to rescue them.
ｘ Losing his arms and hands. i think we can safely say that only the moronic or the insane do not fear this, so this feels a bit unneeded

▸ Motivations:

The world is a canvas. And he sees each part of the world as an important stroke to complete the grand masterpiece. same deal here as the background. you've devoted 1 or 2 lines to his artistic ability, but somehow it servers as a great motivation for him. i'm not sure why you opted to go that route, but it does not make sense to me why you'd choose to highlight this when your backstory says that it's more important that he can change into a cat, is nice to women (?) and is gay He desires a world where everyone can be themselves and stay in balance with nature and animals. He fights for peace and to prove to himself that he is more capable than he gives himself credit for. To fight like his father, to honour his mother, and to protect his 6 sisters.

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Military

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▸ Kekkei genkai:

Feline Metamorphosis ok angel eyes, at least it's not the ''emotional sensing'' thing

▸ Description:

Members of the Nana Clan have the natural ability to transform into a cat/feline so.. henge no jutsu, taking on all the skills and attributes associated with them. This form varies between the members, some taking on more domestic forms while others appear to take after the wilder variety. Members of the Nana Clan can remain in cat form indefinitely so as long as they sustain themselves like a normal cat would. Members of the clan who get pregnant and give birth while in cat form what the fuck. no fetish shit in my rp, have offspring who are born as cats whAT and are unable to transform into humans for their entire lives. Because of this, the clan has a mixture of human and pure cat-form members, though communication between both remains the same. Members of the Nana Clan cannot communicate verbally with other people outside the clan while in cat form, but rely on transmitting faint chakra signals that share an impression of how they are feeling or subtle desires here's the emotion thing i was talking about. it really is you. Some people understand these signals better than others.

▸ Strengths:

This kekkei genkai not only grants the clan members all of the strengths, instincts, and skills of their feline form which are?, but they also possess enhanced regenerative capabilities when they rest >!?!?! why? explain it!! you just explained that they can have cat-sex and cat-babies but it says nothing about why they can regenerate by ''sleeping''?? is this a trait ALL cats have? and their saliva can be used to enhance the regenerative processes of wounds to heal others by licking them. ?!?!?!? why!?!? normally when people write stuff without explanation, it is relatively easy to figure out why they did a certain thing. but this, i just cannot comprehend honestly.

▸ Weaknesses:

Remaining in cat form for too long will slowly cause the cat mentality to take over until they lose/forget to return to their human form all together okay. They are privy to all the same weaknesses as a normal feline while in feline form which are? the inability to grab weaponry because no thumbs? this is so vague it can mean anything. if i kick a cat in the head hard enough it'd die, so basically you're saying your character transforms into a weaker version of a human that is objectively just gonna be more useless during a fight.. They are especially susceptible to steel while in their feline forms, and are unable to heal properly if they are wounded by a steel-based object. so........ literally 90% of all weapons used in naruto

▸ S-rank Techniques

N/A

▸ A-rank Techniques

N/A

▸ B-rank Techniques

N/A

▸ C-rank Techniques

Altering Terrain Technique
Demonic Illusion: False Surrondings Technique
Forbidden Technique: Mud Golems

▸ D-rank Techniques

Knows all the basic genin-level D-ranked jutsus.

▸ E-rank Techniques

Knows all the basic genin-level E-ranked jutsus.

▸ Custom Jutsu:

Cat Nap: Restoration
▸ Rank:

C

▸ Range:

Self

▸ Description:

While in feline form, Ben can put himself to sleep, allowing his body to regenerate and heal his wounds. for how long, why, how does this work, is it a normal sleep?

▸ Weaknesses:

The greater the wound, the longer he has to sleep i'd fucking hope so. The healing process is disrupted and will not function properly if the injury was caused by steel.

▸ Custom Jutsu:

Cat Nap: Projection
▸ Rank:

C

▸ Range:

Long

▸ Description:

While in feline form, Ben can put himself to sleep. While sleeping, he project an astral projection ok angel eyes of his human form, which he can control. The project of himself is corporeal and can interact with the environment how. His feline body will remain sleep until he recalls the projection or it is destroyed. He can also cast jutsus from his projection. what's the point of becoming a cat if you can literally just project yourself out and become an intangible corporeal form that can fight?

▸ Weaknesses:

His cat form remains in slumber and is left vulnerable until his projection returns to it.

▸ Custom Jutsu:

Cat Nap: Dream
▸ Rank:

C

▸ Range:

Area of Effect

▸ Description:

While in feline form, Ben can put himself to sleep. While sleeping, he project his dreams in an area around himself, creating a genjutsu that traps thoughs near him within it.

▸ Weaknesses:

This genjutsu can be dispelled in the same manner that someone would dispel a any other C-ranked genjutsu. This genjutsu ends if he wakes up.

▸ Custom Jutsu:

Heal Lick
▸ Rank:

C.

▸ Range:

N/A

▸ Description:

While in feline form, the enzymes in his saliva can heal the wounds of others by licking them. so it's the enzymes and not the chakra? cat enzymes are good for wounds now?

▸ Weaknesses:

Not as potent as a normal medical technique. Licking wounds leaves a bad taste in his mouth wow what a weakness. More severe wounds just cannot be fully healed with this technique.

▸ Equipment and weaponry

Altering Terrain Diagram Scroll
▸ Type:

Scroll

▸ Description:

This is a unique scroll that creates a diagram of the surrounding area and terrain as he moves around. This scroll is used as a medium for his terrain altering technique, that allows him to instantly make changes to terrain by modifying and altering the diagram.

Honestly I can't accept this sheet. You're giving me serious flashbacks to Angel Eyes and I strongly suspect (if not have it downright confirmed) that you are him.

First of all your insistance on playing with an English name is not good -- I specifically requested Japanese names, numerous times in the discord. Multiple people have asked for this, so it's not just me. I don't care that ''technically'' Benzaiten might be vaguely Japanese, having him call himself ''Ben'' is just dumb. I'm looking for some serious immersion here (yeah haha it's naruto, immersion??) and this won't do.

Secondarily, I just feel like you rushed yourself through the sheet, it's not complete (even if all the fields are filled in) and frankly does not come up to the standards of the other sheets I've received. Everything seems to be made specifically just so you can RP as a cat and while I don't really... mind, it does feel like you just didn't put in the effort that I have expected of others, who have gone above and beyond to create expansive sheets and expansive history with other characters/existing Amegakure lore. Some parts are short, lack explanation and feels pieced together from previous things or things you found that made you go 'hm I like this' -- it's just not cohesive.

I get that he's a genin and I get that there's not a lot of history you could write about his own history, but certainly his mother's death was worth something more than 1 line. Same goes for his father. We didn't even know he fought in a war (despite the last great war being 150 years ago) until the very last paragraph.

So I'm sorry, but I can't accept it -- both because I don't want to, and because the teams are pretty full as is and I need the space for characters that make more sense within the universe. It might be better to seek your RP experience elsewhere.

@Aeolian

Naruto: Black Sun

@Raijinslayer If you can, please join the discord. It's on the front page underneath the title banner.

Naruto: Black Sun

raisinslayer

Naruto: Black Sun

@Raijinslayer looks pretty fine to me, I'll forego a full review because I just woke up and I feel lazy + got invited to play a new game (thank @Tuujaimaa for that) so I'll pass on that for now.

The only question I have is how do the various chakra natures effect your jutsu? It's one thing to say it's weak to water which makes total sense, but if you use the jutsu, how would a doton defensive barrier fare? Things like that are much more interesting for people to know, as opposed to saying 'well just target the lava area'.

Naruto: Black Sun

@Raijinslayer yeah don't bother writing nice prosé for a character sheet -- it's a reference for me mostly, so just do the nice prosé in the backstory and everything else can be plain.

Naruto: Black Sun

I can sort people into a team if they post semi-complete sheets (read: has most details already) that I deem good enough, but otherwise it'll be a tough sell.

Naruto: Black Sun

@Charmander We are starting the next monday at the very latest and possible earlier, so if you want in, you'll probably want to hurry at least slightly.

Naruto: Black Sun

@Raijinslayer I think I'm confusing that one with Renny, maybe. :thinking: Either way that sounds fine -- you know I'll review it and any issues we can iron release out anyway.

Naruto: Black Sun

@Raijinslayer The one that makes metal constructs, or the one that made his own sword?