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7 yrs ago
dissertation done. can actually post again. yay.
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Coin Fairies in the Darkwoods

turn 5


Cherry on Top, level 6 [adventurer], level 12 [flower fairy], crept through the dark and dingy passageway hunting a deadly menace.

As she did this, she reflected on how she’d ended up here.

They’d been in Sanctuary for a while now, her, her tribe, and they’d since been joined by a few others that Monpau had picked up like stray kittens before he’d started getting proactive about improving the lives of her kind where he found them. In that time they’d learned the ups and downs of living among big people.

Positives:

They scared off anything really big, and could be relied upon to help if a pike or something came along.

They produced massive amounts of food that was, for the fairies, incredibly cheap (a single loaf of elven bread, or better yet, a cake, could feed a whole tribe for a week).

You could sell to them

Some of them were very nice

Negatives:

Their cities attracted vermin that were at worst an indirect threat to them, but could be ever so dangerous to a fairy.

You had to worry about being squished by them on accident

It was kinda hard to find work that’d pay any good (they couldn't exactly compete in the physical labor market much), and the merchants were already well situated so competing with them was hard, especially with how little capital the generally down on their luck Coin Fairy tribes who had been invited here had had on them.

Not that they were at risk of starving or anything, Sanctuary had an acorn dole thanks to how productive its nut gardens were, but it wasn't very dignified, and a Coin fairy could not live off nut bread alone. They craved sugar. Not to mention the not quite innate but very common desire to buy and sell that also needed sating. Plus, after living on the edge for so long, the fairies wanted to buy everything they could that could improve their standard of living, both to use and to reverse engineer and miniaturize.

So what they needed most, desired most, was money. Coins. After all, what, really, was a coin fairy without their namesake?

Thus, Cherry, skulking around in this dank dungeon, fighting monsters in the dark.

At least she was better prepared this time. Much better prepared.

Her body was clad in armor made from crab carapace. In her hands, one of flesh, the other a rather beautiful arrangement of stem and cherry red flower petals Ferngaurd had personally made for her to replace her lost arm, she held a long spear with a poisoned barb at the end that she’d grown herself as part of the drudic training needed to control her replacement limb.

She’d need all of it, because her foe, oh, it was an alien beast with great pointy teeth, blood red eyes, shape sense, a scaly tail and ok look this isn't going to have the same impact a second time so i’ll cut to the chase.

She was hunting rats in a storeroom. The foreign pests had come in with a sack of grain someone bought at the bazaar and they needed rooting out, and the fairies could do it far better due to being able to squeeze into all the nooks and crannies the pests could.

Was it glamorous? No. Was it dangerous? Well, when you were inches tall and the rat had a few more on you? Yes. Though they weren't the worst thing creeping around the walls of the city.

So she was grateful when she did find one, the great big rodent snacking on a looted piece of redwood deer cheese.

Its whiskers twitched as she crept up behind it, and the fearsome beast turned its head back to look right at the fairy … and then went to make a run for it.

“Drat” Cherry cursed her lack of stealth skills, but rather than run after it she smacked her spear against the pot she’d squeezed past and made a chittering sound mimicking a ratty cry as she [taunt]ed it.

The rat, who’s honor had been sullied by her bespoke breakdown at its lack of virtues, turned to fight, though as this was no [enrage] it came in carefully, dared into battle but not foolishness.

It stalked forwards, carefully, carefully, and then looked to its left and gave a squeak of confusion. The fairy took her chance, springing forward with a [quick stab] that grazed the rat with her thorn spear. That was enough, venom sinking into its veins. It cried out in pain and lunged to retaliate, but already the toxins were dulling its movements giving the fairy the time to buzz her wings to reverse her lunge faster than any big person could, pulling her back out of reach.

It came after her still, driven mad by pain, and the fairy had to lean into all the, kinda brief, training she’d gotten to avoid becoming a statistic, using her spear to ward away its bites, smacking its head aside, trusting in her armor to ward of scratches, and then finally driving her speartip right into its eye.

If the first stab hadn’t done the trick, that certainly did. The rat squealed, stumbled back, and then fell to the ground, blood tinted green by her poison drooling from its wounds.

Cherry gave a little sigh of relief that it was over, only for it to catch in her throat as purple light suddenly filled the ruined eye, and the rat began to rise once more.

“Ooooooh goddess” she swore both as she saw this reanimation, suddenly remembering the rat squeaking to her left and glancing that way as well, just in time to spot a wall of purple goo oozing between the pots. As the fairy swiftly backed up the ooze spread out and out, beginning to fill the space, and three dark spots slipped in to examine the area, two voids like eyes and third eye that looked like a hollow nose, which joined together along with with a jagged maw below giving the impression of a grinning skull.

The slime opened that maw wide, and the undead rat gladly leapt into it, joining the bones and glowing eye’d skulls of its kin to be digested. Its devourer looked content for a moment, before it turned its eyes to the horrified fairy … and started moving towards her too.

The fairy did not even bother attempting to strike the gelatinous mass with her spear, she knew enough about these monsters to know there was nothing to stab. Instead just quipped “guess I don’t need to [taunt] you” with a voice that did nothing to mask the fear hiding behind that attempt at levity … and then turned and made a run for it, calling out “Slime!” in warning to the others also sweeping through the store room.

The necro slime looked a bit peeved that its next meal was running instead of dutifully feeding itself to it, but, well, it had ways of making that happen. While it began devouring the flesh of the freshly dead rat, it spat out the bones of two others, which picked themselves off the floor and went racing after the fairy, bones rattling as they scampered.

“Oh no no no yes!” Chery panicked as she was hounded by the animated skeletons right up until she burst out into an intersection of sorts and saw that her call had brought aid to her side, a pair of fairy [adventurers] having come to her aid. With little shrieks they launched themselves forwards, clashing with the bone constructs with thorn blades. Cherry whirled around to fight with them, but all three quickly found that their poisonous weapons were rather ineffective against the skeletal foes.

“Gosh darn it heck” she cursed as she beat the skeleton over the skull with her spear to little avail, the fairies swiftness affording them little but survival, none of the three having the strength or arms to smash the bony foes aside.

Then, suddenly to their left, a crackling sound which was the only warning before light flashed and a sound like a tiny, tiny thunderclap roared … and one of the skeletons recoiled as a miniature lighting bolt struck its skull, blasting it to bits. Cherry shook her version clear, and then glanced to the side to see a fourth fairy, a mighty [dragon tamer], and her reptilian charge … which she was carrying in her arms like a cat. The diminutive berry dragon, small even for its kind in everything except plumpness, made a happy little chirp as its trainer praised it for its annihilation of one of their foes.

With (further) numbers on their side the fairies fell upon the remaining undead, jabbing blades into holes in its skull and then pulling, ripping it from the body and tossing it on the floor to be splintered by magical breath

Yet even as they succeeded in disabling the last undead rat, its master began to ooze into the scene. The [dragon tamer] gave it a blast of lighting, but that just tickled the necro slime, and made it mad.

“Ok, time to go! I’ll draw it out! Blooped bloop get [taunt]ed slimy!” Cherry yelled at the her companions and the monster, and they collectively scattered, the slower [dragon tamer] breaking away in one direction, while the nimbler [adventurers] raced forwards, luring the slime on and on and then suddenly they burst from the maze of pots, sacks, and boxes, and into the light.

They breathed a moment of relief, only for the slime to follow them out into the open, the mass of slime taking on its true round blobby form on the open floor, and starting to roll at them, worryingly fast, a triumphant look on its face.

Even when the fairies took off into the air, slowed somewhat by their armor, it was not discouraged, the necro slime pulling acid sharpened bones out of its internally stored collection preparing to fire them at its fleeing prey. Dark magic coalesced around the bones, drew them back, and then lost them in a volley … which smacked harmlessly into a wall of porcelain as an elf the fairies had paid to lend a hand if things got dicey popped a jar over the top of the slime. Then he slid a stiff leaf that the elves use as paper under the rim of the cup, trapping the slime within like it was a spider he was going to politely toss out of his house.

“Oh nice, you got another one? What’s this one do?” the elf asked as he picked up the pot, lifted the improvised lid, and instantly regretted it when he got pinged by some rat bones for his efforts.

“Hey, hey, is that new one?” Cherry asked eagerly as she hovered over “oh and thanks for the save big guy”

“Ow…yes. New one” the elf informed her, rubbing his unharmed face

That got a cheer from the coin fairies, one to the tune of “We’re going to get so many discovery discounts!” while they linked hands and spun around in a circle through the air

That was one of the advantages of being small, you got to find new stuff the big folks overlooked, and new stuff could be handed in to the adventurer guild in return for a finder’s fee in the form of stacking discounts. Already there were pots containing all sorts of unique slimes, from forest slimes to apple slimes, crab slimes, bread slimes, and more, and each and every one was a saving to be made for the Coin Fairies.

Compared to that, the reward they were getting for their pest extermination was ever so secondary.

“Alright girls, that’s enough celebrating” Cherry said after she decided they’d indulge in cheering for long enough, the fairly re-equipping her spear and declaring that “There’s more money to be made!”




Elsewhere

The elves of a little village in the woods peaked their head out of their [druid] grown homes at the sound of titanic hoof falls. These were not unusual in the dark woods, no not at all, for all who lived there knew of the Huwu’idang, those titanic deer of growth who rivaled the trees themselves in size, who dwelt within the forests. That said, not all had actually heard those sounds first hand, let alone seen one of those majestic beasts, for they tended to keep to themselves, and only intervened if nature was disturbed or, so the rumors went, if a child were in danger.

As such, it was a touch concerning to hear one coming towards the settlement, rather than just passing by in the distance. Their first instinct was to chatter, checking if anyone was missing or there were any other alarming things going on. There were not. Which got people a mix of concerned and curious. Had they upset the great guardians of the forest somehow? Was this a coincidence? Was there danger none of them had foreseen? These and more were all suggested as the elves chatted quietly while preparing for the worst, just in case.

They were all wrong, something that became quite clear when the Huwu’idang rolled into town carrying on its back a small compared to its own size yet quite substantial in the general number of finely crafted and beautiful painted vases, all of them lashed carefully to it via a nest of living vines.

Or, no, not vases, not all of them anyway.

As the elves peered closer they saw many of them were created into shapes other than simple jars. Some, several, looked like… homes. Homes which, as the giant deer pulled up next to the village, divulged a flurry of golden skinned beings. Coin fairies. And entire bustling towns worth of them, traveling on the back of one of the titanic protectors of the small.

And as they hovered out of their homes they pulled down little signs, throw open little shutters, and called out all sorts of things, like:

“Hi hi elves. Wanna buy some herbs? Grown by level 15 or over [herbalists]?”

“Best bread from Sanctuary, kept fresh by our [storage managers]!”

“Clay pots, plates, bowls? We got, em all and more. Never eat off a leaf again!”

“Our [plant shapers] are the best in the business, we got tiny hands to make the tiniest of changes! Get yourself a perfectly grown thorn knife today. You deserve it dontcha?”

As the trading town unleashed an entire market squares worth of sales pitches on the village, and, well, with an entrance like that, how could you possibly not buy something?






The Koopa Troop

wordcount: 840 (+2) +11
Bowser: Level 11 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (219/110)
Bowser Jr: Level 11 EXP: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (98/110)
Kamek: Level 11 EXP: ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(97/110)
Rika: Level 6 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (30/60)
Location: Under - The Ruins


After the Troop had finished ripping up thanksgiving dinner they gathered together and bathed in more of Jr’s Medica pulses and some targeted Cures to patch up the worst of their wounds from the fight. The former of these magics seemed to catch a certain fellow in a cloak who Jr had not realized had followed after them till the moment he picked himself out the flower bed and quickly made himself the prince’s problem.

That’s what good deeds got you, the boy guessed. Specifically it got you no thanks, sass, a backstory, and a pile of questions

”We’re the seekers, and we’re” the boy’s explanation as to what they were doing, namely working their way up to slaying galeem, proceed to just slide off of the galeeming man’s think pan without him noticing it had happened due to that great multiverse destroying glowball’s curse, before the boy concluded with ”and your now at the bottom of a pit full of monsters”

”The creatively named ‘under’ … or ‘underground’ according to F, the one who dropped us down here” Kamek interjected

”F? What kind of a name is that?!” Jr asked, to which Kamek just shrugged, leaving Jr to turn his focus back to the self-titled Adventurer and saying ”Well whatever. Long story short, your ways home are up” he stabbed a finger up to the massive tunnel they’d fallen down, and then moved it to point vaguely in the direction the monsters had come from ”or uh… somewhere down there?”

”I believe there is another train station somewhere deep down below that we were meant to go straight to before we were redirected up to dirtmouth … which I am going to blame F for as well” Kamek helpfully informed them both

”Right. So… I guess you can stick with us, if you're useful in a fight. Or as monster bait. Either works. Or you can go wander off and face that on your own” Jr concluded, jabbing a thumb over his shoulders at the monsters.

Unfortunately his point was slightly undermined by what he ended up pointing at was Bowser laughing in the face of one of the little monochrome monsters due to how pathetic they were, followed by them being effortlessly mind controlled by Sectonia.

”… Look, the ones that we're here before you woke up were way scarier, trust me. Here see …” he held up the spirit of the monster the troop had killed, and, well, let us just say that the fork welding turkey was not very intimidating either in this diminished state

”Look, unless you are some legendary butt kicker, you don’t wanna go out there on your own if you wanna live … and if you are a legendary butt kicker we could kinda use you on the team” Jr said, but ultimately it was up to the adventurer.

Speaking of going off on your own, that was exactly what Bowser realized Nadia had done (after he was done picking on the Loox that was) which had him a bit worried.

”I’m going after Ms. Fortune!” he announced after a few moments thought, which Rika quickly followed with a ”Me too!” before she went thruster boosting off into the darkness after the cat girl, leaving the king to go stomping on after her, the ship girl easily track-able due to the pair of torches glowing in her Brachydios styled rifle gauntlet’s eyes.

They almost caught up with their flighty feline at the fragile platform filled cavern due to her getting distracted by bits of paper (that the pursuing pair had no idea what the deal with was), but then got left behind again as the aforementioned fragileness of the platforms resulted in one or two… interior redecoration moments when heavy turtle dragon met architecture made for light bugs.

As a result, when the huffing king and not at all winded ship girl arrived the bout of misfortune was already over. The kind guardian of the ruins was dead, and the evil king was free, not that they knew anything about the character of the former. They were, however, just in time to hear the genie Nadia had apparently freed from the bottle offer her a favor in return for freeing him.

Bowser gave a single gawf of a laugh at hearing it, kinda undermining the moment a bit, before commenting ”Classic stuff from an unbottled evil. Bit overdone maybe. 7/10. Good to see you're still on form Ganondorf” with just a little bit of sass.

”Huh, you know this guy?” Rika asked, while giving the king an odd look.

”Yeah we go back a bit. One of the smash crew. Oh and Link’s nemesis too” Bowser said, before remembering one important detail regarding their prior interactions that caused his brow to furrow. Then a moment later the expression was gone and, with a fair bit of cheer, the king actually said hello to the familiar fellow ”So yeah hey there, my ol partner in crime, how’s this hole the ground treating you?”
I think what you've got would actually work fine if you made the location the Ruins instead of the Barge, as in he's 'coming to' in the flowerbed that broke everyone's fall through the Chasm as the fight with the monsters concluded, having been stunned by the fall himself


This is what I'll be working off anyway, otherwise things get all squiggly time wise

The Koopa Troop

wordcount: 5,695 (+6)
Bowser: Level 11 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (206/110)
Bowser Jr: Level 11 EXP: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (85/110)
Kamek: Level 11 EXP: ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(84/110)
Rika: Level 6 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (17/60)
Location: Dirmouth


”yeah yeah I’m coming! Bowser called up to Primrose as he, having been stopped from racing into a battle that was already over by Kamek, turned and started stomping all the way back up the crevasse’s slopes to meet up with her at the spot they’d meant to meet up, but which no one had been at.

Once he was back he let out a little breath of exertion from the climb, then a bigger one his eyes goggled at the sight of all the stuff they had acquired.

”Oh. Wow. You two did waaaaaay better than we did huh?” he had to admit after a few moments, embarrassedly scratching the back of his head. It was certainly better than the bundle of torches they had gotten, that was for sure.

”It… certainly seems that way Kamek, who had flown back up along with his king, was forced to agree.

Oh and, my apologies for running off. Some of the others headed down early and got into a spot of trouble. Not to worry though, it all has been resolved without any death or injury, and now we seem to have acquired a small insect knight friend as a result of their, ah, spirited heroics” He then explained, while Bowser took on the vast bulk of the spare equipment, grumbling a little bit about having to act as a pack mule, but infinitely more suited to that task than the two smaller humans or the even smaller magikoopa.

After that, they headed back down a second time, met up with Rika and Jr just beyond the bandit barge (the prince hauling his car above his head due to not wanting to fly around in it in its busted up state) and headed down. Whether the (formerly) wounded fellow on the roof would follow after to give the thanks Jr had demanded, well that was all up to him.

Once at the bottom, the troop (sans Kamek who was just going to fly) piled onto the wooden platform along with the others. Bowser and Rika both did what they could to reduce their weight, the king using his shadow magic to go down to his smallest size, while the ship girl ramped up her antigrav to the point that it was as if she was standing upon the moon.

Jr made no such concessions, instead plonking down his clown car to take up space, pulling out his bright yellow GDI tool case and then getting to work trying to patch the thing up after it had taken a whole load of bullets and an entire harpoon to the casing.

As they descended, Bowser dumped the load of gear on the platform for people to pick though while they rode down. The troops’ own supplies, and anything that was left over after, was shrunken down by Kamek, and then stuffed into Jr’s car’s hammerspace glove box for safe keeping.

The elevator trundled its way down rather slowly, meaning that even after the gear sorting was done there was still a long way to go. Soon enough the troop lapsed into air-filling conversation, with Bowser and Rika taking a load off while Kamek followed the progress of the elevator down upon his broom and Jr tinkered away, quietly cursing the hat kid for running off with his quick fixing mallet. As a result they were taken quite by surprise by the appearance of one crazy sunchild appearing on the rope of their transportation.

”How many of you jerks are there!” Jr yelled as he, along with the other three platform riders, scrambled to their feet to dodge/block the incoming show of sparks. Bowser ducked down and blacked them with his shell, Rika’s sunglasses flashed as the ones around her slowed enough to be avoided by some quick footwork and finally jr just ended up taking more hits on his clown-car as he lifted it over his head as a shield.

Then the floor fell away below them due to the Consul’s destruction of public infrastructure, sending everyone plummeting down into the dark.

Yet they were not helpless.

”Hold on, I’ve got you kids!” Bowser called out as he used his shell mounted water cannons to adjust his fall, catching Rika and Jr in one arm, and then boosting over to the wall of the pit they were plummeting down, cat clawed hand reaching out to meet it. A horrific sound echoed, 10 times worse than chalk on a blackboard, as Bowser’s claw started ripping through the stone and leaving a trailing cat scratch as he ever so slowly slowed their fall.

Suddenly, a shower of projectiles slammed into Bowser’s back as he sought to stall his downward momentum, although the thick shell dulled their impact. Up above, still clutching the now-severed rope that now dangled freely in the Chasm’s center, the Consul tilted his head. “Stubborn, huh? Like a big ol’ turd stuck in the bowl, you just don’t wanna go down.” He adjusted his arm, pointing a finger gun at the stone around Bowser rather than the armored Koopa himself, and let rip. A spray of magic bullets began to pummel the rock, destroying Bowser’s handhold so that his own weight would carry him down. “If you’re a king, I guess that makes this a royal flush, heeheeheehee!”

”Gaaaaaaah you tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerp” Bowser yelled out as he was blasted away from the ledge and then fell. The king trying to use more water jets to correct his fall, but the blast had sent him spinning, and the Koopa was no cosmonaut, his wild blasts turning his fall from a drop into a pinballing ricochet, the king shielding the youths in his grip as he himself went crashing from side to side of the tunnel uncontrollably to the tune of ”OOf! Ow! Ouch!” .

That left only one member of the Troop to counter the minor menace’s ploy and it was the oldest among them.

”Hold on! I’m coming!” Kamek called out as he dived down, broom handles stabbing towards the depths as his robes fluttered around him. Around him descended his indistinguishable doppelgangers and then, with a wave of his (and their) wands, they were joined by a squad of toadies who, flying upside down, attempted to catch up with and then gradually slow the falling heroes and villains.

Once Bowser fell, the Consul relaxed with a sigh. “Too easy,” he complained. “Maybe S was crying wolf again, after all. Good thing I didn’t get my hopes up.” He looked up, however, which a miniature fleet of Toadies and clones whizzed past him to try and rescue the fallen. “Trying to ruin the moment, huh? What, not dramatic enough for you?” Smirking, F extended his hands downward, creating a picture frame around the scene with his thumbs and index fingers that he peered through with a bright red right eye. “Of course it’d be even better if they…” He then raised his right hand and snapped his fingers with a yellow spark.

Just as they reached out to grab hold of the Troop members, the Toadies, Kamek clones, and Kamek himself all blipped back up the Chasm. It was instantaneous and unceremonious, with only a slight chime noise before their hands closed around nothing. Down below, the other heroes continued to fall disappearing into the darkness far beyond reach. Overhead, more mocking laughter broke out. “Slipped through your fingers, heeheehee!”

”Wh-what…” Kamek stammered as from his perspective the team teleported away from him, at least until he glanced back to the source of the taunting and found it ever so close. Disorientated and aghast at his failure the mage did the only thing that could counter the building despair.

He got mad.

The mage turned on the Consul and retorted with an ever so eloquent ”Die!” as he raised his wand up and magic flared. Dark portals opened around the mage, disgorging a squad of Jr clones, which joined the toadies in body charging the tiny terror. As the mini horde of magical constructs charged the mage pulled out a stereotypical magician’s wand and gave it a wave, causing 5 rings of flaming rabbit skulls to form in a cage around his foe as his doppelgangers copied his move.

“Hah!” Barely moving, the Consul teleported in a flash of purple sparks, leaving the severed rope behind. He reappeared by one of the Chasm walls and shot three bundles of thorny vines from his back, embedding them into the stone to keep him there. The earth continued to rumble, however, and after another second their ends burst from the rock again to surround the Consul like giant tentacles. They swatted away the mindless minions that charged him as Consul hung between them. “Leaving you friends to die, huh? Or did you know about the flowers down there? Either way, that’s actually kinda interesting.” He held his fingers up, pinched close together with only a slight space between them. “Just the tiniest, little bit, anyhow.”

”Flowers?” Kamek asked, coming out of the red haze he’d been in at this news that, if this person had let that slip and wasn’t just messing with him, his family, friends, and allies were going to be ok.

As for attacking rather than running again, he’d mostly acted on instinct fury, though a little part of him had had a sensible reason, one that he explained to the Consul while winding up his next attack ”I can’t help them if you’ll just bring me back again can I? So you have to go down!”

“...You’re serious?” The Consul clapped his hands together, hooting with laughter. “Now that’s funny! Got a deathwish, or something? I mean, not that I mind swatting you here and now. It just won’t be any fun. Amuse me for thirty seconds, and I might even let you live.”



“You can call me F,” he said as he swirled a hand in a spinning motion, creating a ring of magic bullets above his head like a halo. “Let’s kill ourselves some time, eh?”

”F? What a coincidence, that will be the grade I’ll give you in evil after this battle is over, child” Kamek taunted with five voices in return before he and his clones scattered into evasive action. As they flew, they waved the mages’ original wand and sent out bursts of flame using the Fire Materia embedded in the end of it, using the simple logic of fire beats plant for this opening gambit.

In reply F extended his fists, surrounded by their own rings of bullets, and opened fire. As if fired by two gatling guns, a fusillade of the glowing projectiles rained down. Most missed, but there seemed to be no end to them, and with the sheer speed plus quantity it would only be a matter of time before the clones got ripped up, one by one. As the fireballs came in, the giant vines slapped them away from F, scattering the flame. What damage they took the Consul didn’t seem to mind, and their thrashing around ensured that any ignition quickly got blown out. “Like it’d be that easy,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. His right eye flashed red again, focused on the Kamek with the robes of the original color. “Can’t call this a battle if you’re just gonna buzz around, is it?” He ceased fire to make a flicking motion with his hand, which caused all three vines to suddenly shoot forward toward the real Kamek in quick succession, wide as subway tunnels.

”Oh crumbs” the mage said, before each of the vines smashing forth in turn, before leaving a gray cloud in their wake as they withdrew back to the Chasm wall.

Then from on high there came a call of ”Sorry to rain on your parade” as Kamek, surrounded by a dissipating puff of smoke that was the byproduct of his own teleportation, brandished a crimson rod and summoned a bloody raincloud, right above where F had rooted themselves, from which drops of corrupt ichor raining down.

“Tch.” Eye flashing red again, F pulled himself into the stone wall to dodge the attack, traveling through the burrowed tunnel left behind by his vines’ activity. A moment later he emerged through one of the three exit holes, but this time rather than anchor himself with his vines he used them to crawl across the wall like the legs of a spider. He opened fire again while moving, trying to shoot Kamek down.

Time spent tunneling was time Kamek used to put away his rod and summon more clones, each one the same color as him such that who was the real one was indistinguishable

”I see a little roach. Let’s squash it!” the Kamek squad taunted together as they moved to evade with varying success, all of them raising their wands and summoning a series of massive blue glowing fists ever so close to the skittering F. Each one smashed down in quick succession, sending stone shards flying and leaving craters when they impacted with the cave wall, the mage burning a hefty amount of mana to do so.

The consul opened his fists, causing his next projectiles to appear as an array before his palm rather than a ring around his wrist. These bullets burst forth like shotgun blasts to fight against the fists, although the spread of shots didn’t lose power as they traveled. As he used the originals to stay on the move from the fists, more vines erupted from his back, quickly growing in size to the Sequoia-esque thickness of the others. While his spread shots riddled his foes, the vines snaked through the air to swat the Kameks from the sky.

Kamek hissed with pain as the magic bullets clipped his body, each one only stinging individually but the sheer number of shots where taking a toll, the illusions dissipating again under the barrage while the mage himself merely hurt. In contrast to those where a. his own frustrating inability to land a solid hit on F, and b, the vines F was using, which would pulp him if they hit.

So when they started to target him rather than swatting at clones the mage teleported to get some distance again. He reappeared in the shadows of one of the caves, deployed some strikers, and then teleported again into another's shadows, making appear, when he drifted out of it, as if he’d not made that detour.

At this second offshoot he summoned a pair of Rika clones to unleash a retaliatory barrage of shell and gunfire upon the scuttling F to further draw his attention away from the two stealthy snipers lining up their shots.

The mage had disappeared again. Once F arrived at his destination, he began to paint copious amounts of bullets in the air. “More feeble tricks,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. He pounded his fist and palm together his head, creating a brilliant rupture that expanded into a field of outer space around him that sparkled with stars. Then the comets burst forth, flying through the air to track Kamek down wherever he’d wandered off to. They suddenly changed direction midair, announcing where the sorcerer had gone. No sooner did Kamek summon the Rika clones than their position received a deluge of explosive starlight. “I’m losing interest fast, old timer,” the Consul groaned. “Come on out and…play.” He snapped his fingers.

The Strikers vanished as if they never existed. Kamek himself blipped directly into the center of a spherical field of floating bullets, which then collapsed inward.

”What?” the once again confused Kamek started, only to cry out ”Gah,” in pain as he made the snap decision to fly though the wall before it completely collapsed, trading pain of some shots vs the certain death of being hit by them all.

”Grrr, fine, then you shall have my mightiest trick!” the mage declared, before pulling a single Wisp from the air.

And then pressing his wand to its body and chanting

”Boil and bubble
Here comes trouble…!”


“Right you are!” A barrage of star bullets struck him square in the chest. F shook his head, incredulous. “...What, did you think I’d just wait for you to finish?” He extended his armored hand, only for it to tear apart as a big mitt of twisted vines grew out to seize Kamek before he could fall. With his arms and wand pinned, F brought him closer, putting his mask in the old sorcerer’s face. “Killing you would be the easiest thing in the world, you know. But hey, you did last thirty seconds. So consider me ‘entertained’. Next time, bring your A-game, will ya? And all your little pals too, ‘cause you’ll need ‘em. Until then…”

He tossed Kamek into the air, and with his oversized hand flicked him away. “...Enjoy the Underground!”




Down down, deep down below where the mage had tried and failed to take on the tyke alone, the seekers had landed harmlessly on a patch of flowers, just as F had said they would.

”UUUUUUURGH, My head. And arms. And legs. And everything” Bower complained, as he slowly started to sit up, only to pause when a ”wowowowow” as Jr, who was laying on his chest, started to fall off.

”Wow wow I gotcha” the king said as he reached out and caught his boy before he could fall onto the …. Flower patch? That was odd, he thought, and then startled as there was a little yelp as Rika, who he had not realized was also in trouble until it was too late, fell off of his shell and hit the ground with a light rustle.

The king bolted upright, still holding his son close and asked ”Wow, are you ok?” to which the ship girl gave an unhelpful ”Mmm” sound in response, before she also sat up, shook her head and realized ”I. Huh. yeah. But… how? Didn’t we fall super far? It felt like that pit was practically bottomless. Until it wasn’t I mean“

That was the question, one that caused them all to look up into the darkness, and yet they found no answers there. For a few seconds. Then the form of Kamek came fluttering down and impacted with the flower bed upon which he bounced rather than went splat, as if it was a bed made of mattresses rather than one made up of plants. That would have provided the answer to the question the troop had been wondering about … if they hadn’t all been too panicked about the blasted state the mage was in to care about said question any more.

”Ka””me””k!” came their triple cry as they rushed over to his side. They huddled around the mage, who was out like a light and covered in wounds.

Bowser immediately called on Heel, the rabbit supporter, to stabilize the mage, but that wasn’t enough to do more than keep him from fading out.

”I can fix this, I can fix this!” Jr declared in a half panic, searching desperately around for his paintbrush and then spotting it embedded, handle first, in the ground near the edge of the meadow they had landed in. It must have gotten knocked out of his car, he reasoned (said device had been allowed to just freefall after Bowser had grabbed him and was laying elsewhere in the clearing).

Unfortunately, before he could go grab it, the welcoming committee arrived, as the darkness divulged a swarm of freakish horrors that came cavolcading into the flower field, maring its beauty with their mere presence. Not that the troop, unlike Sectonia, actually cared about the aesthetics. What the problem for them (barring the obvious threat of injury and death) was that, as the circus of horrors came storming in, they ran past the embedded paintbrush, making retrieving it far more complicated than walking over.

”Alright, which one of you weirdos wants to die at the fist of the Koopa King!” Bowser roared, stepping forwards ahead of the youngsters despite his body being pretty beat up as a result of his pingponing from wall to wall during their fall.

In response to his taunt an absurd monster that looked exactly like a cooked turky stuffed with skulls and snakes, and wielding a knife and fork, charged them while letting out cry that sounded a bit like what a turkey’s gobble would sound life it if had been marinated in sulfuric acid for a million years, baked in the fires of hell and then bass boosted beyond any reasonable amount.

Despite this it still seemed was kinda silly, right up until Rika hopped out from behind Bowser and opened fire, prompting the Turkey to return fire in turn, flaming screaming skulls soaring forth from the slit in its gut that collide with the heavier shells mid air, leaving only the bullets to rake its vital-less body in-effectively.

Then it retaliated by spewing a shower of snakes out of its neck hole, the serpents showering down into the grass before them and then swarming forwards, hissing and baring their fangs.

”Ha ha, is that it? Get Cooked!” Bowser retorted to this, crouching down to bring his maw low and then letting out a torrent of firebreath. It ripped through the snakes (and the pretty flowers) lighting all of them aflame… and sending toxic green smoke billowing up from the snake’s funeral pyre.

The king coughed and backed up, while Rika and Jr (who was carrying Kamek’s dazed body) both quickly hurried to the side to get clear as the towering undead turkey came storming forwards through the toxic cloud, the pre-cooked meal ignoring the lingering flames as it raised its cutlery to stab down into the poisoned king eyes.

Before it could strike however a heavy fist slammed into its side, Rika, her mouth sealed tight and nose furrowed inside her not at all airtight helm, using her new thruster module to do a rocket powered punch right to the thing’s side. The monster, big as Bowser, was not hurt or distributed too badly, but it did knock off its aim just enough that the cutlery hit Bowser in an armored spot rather than his vulnerable eyes.

That still stung like hell however, the knife and fork leaving a set of 1 and two puncture wounds in the king’s shoulder and cheek respectively.

The king stumbled backwards, crying out in pain, but at least that got him out of the gas enough to breathe fresh air. It didn't cure the poison however, and so the King’s retaliation was practically blind, though fortunately the turkey was big enough that firing up the jets of his kinetic strike module and blindly swinging still resulted in him landing a punishing blow that showed up Rika’s own punch up by a fair margin.

Or showed it up until the secondary explosion caused by the Brachydios goo her punch had left behind went off, which rocked it with a third strike, this one blowing a gash in its side. Which more snakes spilled out of.

”Uuuurgh” Bowser complained as Rika backed off out of the stinging poison smoke, pursued by serpents.

”Nonono. Shoo!” She shouted at them, racking the swarm with gunfire that was only moderately effective at thinning their numbers. The rest came on, lunging at her legs, and though some fell to her kicks and hull blade slashes a few snuck through and gnashed at the girl's flesh … only to find it was graded to be resistant to anti ship (girl) weapons. Sharp fangs broke on or only lightly scratched her skin, the serpents finding themselves unable to inflict their deadly venom.

Actually this was kind of a problem everywhere they looked, as the rest of the troop all had touch scales that were ever so difficult to chomp through. So the snakes did the logical things:

Some tossed themselves into the still simmering grass fire to make yet more airborne gas, serpents slithering forth while burning alive to spread the cloud of poison.

Others acted as constrictors, wrapping around Rika and Bower’s legs to bind them and stumble their movements. Which became quite problematic when the Turkey backed off into the toxic cloud for a moment, and then sent screaming flaming skulls firing up into the air from its neck gap, which swirled around its absent head for a few moments before shrieking down to bombard the king and ship-girl.

Bowser instinctively ducked down, the shower of skulls hammering his shell. Then he jerked back upright with several snakes now biting onto his face or grappling his arms. Rika meanwhile used her sunglasses to slow the shots, but the grapple on her legs meant she had to try and counter battery the incoming skulls instead of dodging out of the way.

The glasses massively increased the success rate of this, but one still slipped through and that was enough, the burning head smashing into her own one and causing the stunned girl to fall into the flowers again, only this time her soft landing was followed up by being swarmed by snakes. The fact that she was wearing a helmet prevented them from biting her softer eyes, lips, or nose, but they could still grapple her arms and, worse, her neck. The ship girl began choking as her windpipe was constricted, and her cumbsy gauntleted hands were unable to pull off the wretched serpents.

Things were looking a touch grim to say the least, at least until a cry of ”I got it!” came from beyond their battle. There, the koopa prince could be found, still holding their hurt mage over one shoulder and raising his paintbrush triumphantly in the other, the boy having artfully dodged though all the others fighting to retrieve the implement.

The first thing he did was point it at Kamek and cast ”Cure!” to heal him back to consciousness. The second thing he did was look back and see the farce of a fight he’d left behind.

”Oh jeez. That is one dangerous turkey” he noted, to which Kamek, coming to, groaned in confused agreement upon seeing the scene out of hell. Possibly the ring of gluttony specifically, which fit Bowser quite well.

It was time for the boy to step back into the fray. He used the butt of his staff to flick one of the pokeballs strapped to a bandoleer on his chest free, batted it up in the air in a tennis serve and then smacked it in the direction of the fight using the end of his brush.

”Go Dazzle! Use Icy Wind to blow that gas away!” he commanded, as the ball split open and released Dazzle the Poppilo into the fray.

“Pop pohhhhh” the mon chimed out as it blew up several bubbles in quick succession, tossing each one up to burst and let for a gush of freezing cold air that swept through the gas cloud, picking it up and carrying it away. Then the boy had him use water gun to put out the fires, preventing any more gas from spreading, before he called the mon back to his pokeball before the snakes could get that juicy soft bodied target.

With the gas free and unable to re-poison his papa, Jr pointed his wand forwards and cast ”Esuna” to free him from the toxins coursing through his body. Just in time too, as the king was pulling the last of the snakes off of his face when the turkey came at him again.

”Haha, oh no you don’t” the cured king cried out, flicking on his mecha mit’s shield to block a cutlery strike, before deploying his canons over his shoulders and point blank blasting the titanic turkey with torrents of water to stager it. He was about to smash it with the kinetic strike module again when the monster repaid him in kind, a shotgun blast of snakes and skulls blasting out of its belly and into his own, causing him too to stagger back.

They faced off for a heartbeat… and then both roared with fury and charged each other again.

As Bowser and the big bird duked it out Rika, struggled to rise, serpents swarming over her, gauntlets preventing her from reaching her own body … until she fumbled the latch jr had installed and ripped an arm free from its old prison, hand gripped the snake around her neck and tearing it free. She gasped, lungs filling with fresh air rather than deadly gas thanks to Dazzle’s icy wind, and the rush of oxygen to her brain let her think straight and gave her a moment of inspiration.

A moment later the ship girl was blasting into the air, trailing one of her gauntlets as she used her back mounted thrusters to burst out from the swarm. Then cannons roared as she fired her rigging’s turrets in two different directions, causing her to spin in the air, shedding serpents that were clinging to her body in the process.

Yet the ground was still swarming with them as they poured out of the holes turkey’s body seemingly without end. Which is where the troop’s own swarms came into play. From atop Jr’s shoulder, Kamek tiredly raised his wand and summoned forth a horde of Dry Bones, while Bowser called out for ”Marie!” to summon the former skullgirl and his striker. The maid arose, looked at the mess with contempt and then summoned skeletal soldiers to battle the snakes, and a barrage of skulls of her own to meet the turkey’s head on (literally).

Undead humans and Koopas swarmed forth into the battlefield, and began stamping the snakes wherever they found them, their bony bodies entirely immune to anything the serpants could do to stop them.

Rika, then, floated down among them after correcting her spin, and was only lightly accosted by snakes as she slipped a hand back into her other gauntlet and took in the situation. Jr, carrying Kamek, was still re-approaching, while Bowser was duking it out with the Turkey itself. He was winning, but the lack of vitals was making it hard to actually put the undead thanksgiving dinner down. Worse, all it would take was one knife or fork stab getting through his guard and hitting the eyes it was aiming for for this battle to become costly, and by the looks of the scratches on Bowser’s face scales, it had gotten awfully close more than once.

Time to end this quickly.

The ship girl ran forwards towards them, and shouted ”Toss me up!” at a set of skeletal troopers in the way. Marie herself raised an eyebrow at this from where she was plugging one of the turkey’s wounds with a vacuum cleaner to see if sucking out its insides worked (it did not, there seemed to be zero end to its stuffing), and then had her minions do as was asked.

They put their hands together and held them low, and when the ship girl stepped a foot on their palms they tossed her skywards in a team jump.

Rika soared up, titted herself in the air a bit to angle her fall towards the turkey, and then fired up both her maneuvering thrusters and her rigging cannons, blasting them up into the air and sending herself shooting down like a comet, canon gauntlet holding the top of the rifle one.

Chainsaw bayonet wiring.

The mechanized blade caught the back of the Turkey, and the force of her fall turned the buzzling blade into a guillotine that scythed down through its cooked flesh, tearing its back entirely apart … and sending its stuffing spraying out towards Rika, who shrieked in alarm as the bottomless pit of death spilled forth.

She had a heartbeat to react, and only because her sunglasses counted the mass of snakes and skulls as projectiles. Legs shaking from catching her own landing, she was sure she was about to risk it all on a point blank barrage when Marie, who had entirely seen this coming due to her unsuccessful attempt to drain the turkey, summoned a wall of skeletons between the ship girl and the snake wave.

”I… Thank you” she gasped, to which the skullgirl simply shrugged.

Beyond the wall, Bowser punched the somehow still alive turkey in the gut to get some space and then pulled out a massive pair of shears that he was wearing on his belt like a sword. The blades snicked open and were then driven down on the monster’s front and then squeezed shut, scything though the string holding it’s turkey breast. The king ignored the wave of stuffing that spilled out in response in order to drive his cutting implement down again, and the second snip slicing through its waist as well, tip of the shears meeting the trailing edge of Ricka’s cut when they met, allowing Bowser to fully complete Rika’s bisection/

This caused it to literally explode, whatever the infinite source of serpents and skulls inside it briefly surging in response to the lack of continent, and then burning itself out a heartbeat later as the twin sides of the turkey vaporized into ash, and left its spirit on the floor. This quite fortunately took the sea of snakes with it as they too disintegrated upon the death of their creator, the serpents having been an inherent part of its construction.

With the beat finally dead Bowser, face cut up and body ravaged by the fall and the, fortunately now gone, poison, sunk to the floor with a gasp, himself desperately in need of healing.

Fortunately that was on the way, jr rushing in to rejoin the group half a moment later and casting ”Medica” to heal everyone in the surrounding 15 foot radius. Including the flowers, who’s beauty was touchingly restored as the healing magic washed over all the victims of their battle, and also over anyone else who gathered up with them after it.

Given that the monsters had been quite the toughies, it was likely he might have his work kinda cut out for him.


“What do you mean you are leaving?” Fernguard demanded to know, the [Warden] of the Darkwoods having been interrupted during a briefing about rumors of mysterious castles popping up on the plains beyond their forest home by her god so he could deliver this news.

“Well, not leaving, but, I mean, come on. I am a god of adventure! You can’t exactly expect me to just, you know, sit around here all day every day. I need to get out there every now and then! Find new people, new places. Go to the moon! You know. All that jazz” the god, who had draped himself over her desk the moment he came in, explained.

“Well yes but … wait what is jazz?”

“Oh you poor poor uncultured elf you” the god said as he shook his head solemnly

The elf in question frowned at him and then a touch exasperatedly asked “So are you gonna tell me what it is or not?”

“Not till someone invents it and names it wrong.”

Ferngaurd sighed and then tried to get back on topic “I, ok, look, let’s go back a step. You are leaving. This is bad. I mean, your already out a lot and this is gonna be worse”

“Awww you want me around that much?”

“What? No! I mean yes… look, if there are things like that big musical tentacle friend, but, you know, hostile, then we need you around. Because what am I going to do about that? I have a handful of [guardians] and mid twenties level [adventurers] and they can’t take Sanctuary sized monsters!”

“Not to worry I’ve got you covered” Jeon said, before rolling off her desk and beckoning her to follow. The god tossed open her door once they reached it, stepped out and cried out “behold!” as he dramatically pointed towards… nothing

“What.. am I meant to be looking at?” Ferngaurd asked after she stepped out

“What. huh. Where did he go?” Jeon asked the empty air, palm raised over his eyebrows as he scanned around the city, only to find his eyes on Stagstep, the [Ranger], first [guardian] and Ferngaurd’s closest companion.

“You wondering where that big leggy snake went?” he asked, and when he got the obvious answer of “yes!” from Jeon, the elf pointed off to the south and informed him that “it went that way as soon as you entered the building to go talk to Fernie…. I mean Ferngaurd” which caused an exasperated god to toss up his arms and yell out “what the fuck” in the direction his surprise had vanished off in.




Grasping claws and a serpentine body traveled through the forest at breakneck speed, yet at the same time the writhing body was agility sliding between trunks without even grazing a twig, it’s claws touched ever so lightly on the ground that ner a flower was disturbed and its great branch like antlers left the canopy entirely undisturbed. Keen senses, from sapphire eyes peering out from between green scales, catfish like whispers and its long keen snout, all of which bade the lung dragon run forth.

The call?

Well, you only had to ask, as the Shadow Guardian did when the dragon approached the Umbral woods. Then answer? It came in a deep and kindly from the creature’s lips, its, his,mossy beard shaking softly as he spoke “The cries of the small”




Rain was falling in the Umbral woods, water streaking down from the heavens and lashing the leafless trees of its frightening night time visage. There were, however, some leaves still around. Those that fell, lingered, and someone had used them to make a camouflage covering for their home up in the branches of one of the trees, a disguise that worked very well in the day, and moderately well in the night despite sticking out like a sore thumb to anything with a lick of self awareness.

Tragedy, however, had struck, as the particularly hard rain storm had weakened the protective walls of the home, and then sent a section of it crashing down when a horrible monster had stomped across its roof.

Surrounded by the debris the monster observed the horrified homeowners into whom’s abode it had fallen with its cold uncaring eyes, its twin lenses black as the abysses. Then it raised up a pair of wicked crushing claws and started slowly stalking forwards on far too many barb covered legs.

The poor frightened woman scattered away from the beast in a panic. All but one, who instead charged it with a crude rock on a stick that no one in their right minds would be found wielding these days. But it was all she had

“Die monster!” she shrieked in just the highest pitch voice, only to be outdone a heartbeat later by an even higher pitched cry of “Cherry, nooooo!”

Cherry, headless of the cry, made a flying leap over the monster’s wicked claws and swung her primitive club with all her might right between the eyes, only for the rock to bounce harmlessly off of its thick sunset hued armor. Adrenaline fueled daring quickly turned into panic as the offending arm was grabbed by two smaller ye equally as horrible claws set right next to its maw. It squeezed her arm tight, causing her to drop her weapon.

“I’m coming!” called the one who had shouted her name cried, but as Cherry watched as the inevitable occurred, and her struggling arm was drawn into the monster’s maw she took her last moments to call “No! Go! Save babies and treasure! Run away!”

And then there was only pain as the horrible beast crunched through her arm with its horrid jaws, leaving the poor brave soul collapsed on the ground, her arm a bloody stump, too shocked by the pain to move or do anything but cry, her tears mixing with the rain pouring through the hole in their home.

Then, all of a sudden, the rain stopped as a great green mass suddenly blotted out the sky, and, after a moment of confusion from all within the home, a savior appeared: a great green claw descended, grasping the monster and pulling it up and away. A moment passed, and Cherry’s tears turned to ones of sorrow to ones of joy as her tribe hurried to her side to pull her out of the rain.

Outside, curled around the tree, was the mighty lung dragon who had come all the way from sanctuary to respond to the first cries of panic, now held their cause in its claws:

A humble orange crab.

Not a giant crab, or even a pretty big crab like a Asu’epit. No it was just a regular ol crab. Well, yes, it could fly due to being a Tonnokala, and it did so when the dragon flicked it away into the rain, but that was all that was special about it.

Of course, when you were the size of a tennis ball, even a regular ol crab was deadly dangerous. As were about 90% of the other things in the woods which meant that the coin fairies, because that was what these poor wet folks were, had it pretty rough going.

Not that you’d be able to tell most of the time. When things weren't awful, such as when a big person came around, they were bubbly and cheery as could be, happily chitter chattering away as they tried to get you to trade a spoonful of jam for a shiny beetle shell.

Right now however, their home was waterlogged and there was a big green thing outside which, despite it saving them, was still making them very nervous. It made them even more nervous when a great sapphire eye suddenly filled the hole in their home as the lung dragon peered in.

Then the fear dissipated as there came a deep warm voice, “Do not fear, small ones, I am Monpou, friend of the small”

“A friend?” one of the fairies asked

“A person? Not a monster?” another deduced

“A customer!” a third cried out in realization, a cry that was picked up by several of the others who rushed off to the back of their nest in an excited flurry.

“Girls, is this really the time!” another, the one who had been so worried about Cherry and was presently holding the bleeding out fairy in her arms, yelled after them, but the fairy in question just patted her with her intact arm and said in a strained and pained tone “let them have some excitement Bon-Bon, don’t let me bring down the mood”

“Do not worry, little one, let ol Monpou clean you up” Monpou interceded, before the sapphire eye peeking in briefly flashed a brilliant emerald green, and in a moment Cherry’s bleeding mangled stump became simply a stump of smooth flesh instead.

“Ah! Oh? Ohhh. Oh my goddess” Cherry marveled as the pain vanished and her wits returned to her. She started at the closed wound for a moment, and then up at the colossal eye and suddenly looked very embarrassed “Oh. Oh my gosh I am so sorry Mr Monpou! You’ve saved my life twice and I haven't thanked you, or even introduced myself! I’m Cherry, Cherry on Top, and I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for this” the little fairy rambled off, before ducking her head down in thanks.

“There is nothing to repay, small one. Helping those like you is simply what I do” Monpou insisted, and before Cherry could protest she first had the air squeezed out of her by a tight hug from an incredibly relieved ugly crying Bon-Bon, and then was drowned out as the other fairies returned holding varicose tiny goods.

“Hey, hey, Mr Monpou, look at this shiny rock, don’t you wanna buy it?” the first called, holding up a tiny chunk of copper ore.

“Or this butterfly wing” another called out

“Or this sharks tooth that I found and polished up real good” asked a third

“Little ones please, I am not here to buy anything, I only came to help” the Lung dragon gently insisted

“Awww” the would be sellers all coursed, before one asked “Wait, does that mean you're leaving?” and then quickie realized “oh no, but what about the hole in our nest? If you move, more stuff can get in to attack us!”

“Even if it doesn’t the rain will” Bon-Bon said through sobs, before hugging Cherry even tighter and making the other fairy wheeze “and it will ruin everything even more”

Indeed, the water had done quite a number on their crude construction, and bits of it were gradually falling away right before Monpou’s eye, and that was with him blocking out the rain. If he moved, well, there was a real risk the nest would be completely flooded and collapse.

“Can you stay? Please? We’ll pay you anything to give us the time to fix the hole” Cherry asked, having slightly freed herself from Bon-Bon’s deathgrip

“If we even can,” the fairy holding her added morosely “all the leaves are gone, or wet on the floor. And we can’t go out to get sticks”

“Till.. till it’s dry then?” Cerry tried, very hesitant to ask for even more help when so much had been given freely

The Lung Dragon wanted to, but he could hear a distance calling, ever so loud and yet terribly far away. “I’m sorry little ones, but my remaker is calling, and I should best return before his anger turns to alarm or worry” Monpou said, only to swiftly add “but. First, Let me ask you this, little ones. Are you at all attached to this location in particular”

“Huh?” “It's where our stuff is” “You mean like, the tree? No, it’s not great.” “Must be out of the way, we haven't seen any people since that Fang guy with his big scary monster” came a string of replies that added up to a no.

“Well then, little ones, would you like to come back with me?” Monpou asked “To a place far less dangerous than this”

“Back? Back where?”

“Why to Sanctuary of course”

“Sanctuary?” “oh that place with all the elves!” “with pie so good a god gave away her crown for a slice!” was the chitter chatter of responses he got. It seemed that even these out of the way folks had heard of one of the two great settlements of the area, even if only though rumors

“But isn’t it really far away? Really really far away?” Cherry asked

Monpou smiled, though they could only see it in his eye, before he told them simply that that was the case “Only for a mortal”




“I swear, that ungrateful big jerk! You give someone the power of a god and then they just… run off with it on you!”

“Wait, you did what? You can do that?” Ferngaurd removed her hands from her ears to ask, Jeon’s divine yelling at the clouds having been quite deafening. Then she thought for half a second and added “Wait, you gave someone devine power, and you were going to introduce them as help for my whole [warden] thing.. Why the heck didn’t you just give me that power? It would have made things so much easier!”

“Oh honey, because that would have been sooooo boring. Also it would have blown your mind” Jeon told her “so i gave it to someone with a bigger brain, aaaaand more experience with this whole forest guardian thing” Jeon turned to tell her, giving her a patronizing pat on the shoulder, before spinning sound and yelling “Which I expected would make them responsible and not be prone them to run off like this!” back at the forest.

Right in time for a mass of leafy green scales to burst from the canopy, as the serpentine form of Monpau soared up into the air with a mighty leap, and then landed delicately as a feather right before them in the branches of Sanctuary.

Stagstep practically leapt out of his skin in surprise, and did literally leap over his [animal companion] Doe to land behind her, the cowardly [ranger] ducking down behind the entirely nonplussed redwood deer. Ferngaurd took a half step back and reached for one of her thornblades instinctively, but Jeon seemed entirely non perturbed by this sudden arrival.

Actually he was just mad, yelling “There you are, you big jerk! You ran off and made me look bad, so you better have a good excuse” while jabbing an angry fist towards them.

“I am sorry, but I heard the cries of these little ones and had to come to their aid” the lung dragon apologized as he ducked his head low, in the process revealing the tiny figures nestled in the grassy mane running along his neck and back.

“What in the world?” Ferngaurd asked as she peered closer, and saw ting winged the figures that were wearing ratty and simple clothes reminiscent of what her kind had worn back in the day when the world was young. They carried with them very little: a few crude tools, the odd shiny thing, and a number of babes swaddled in leaves like bee grubs.

They also looked absolutely amazed, which, to be fair, wasn’t unusual for someone seeing Sanctuary for the first time, but the way their eyes lit up and sparkled with hope was both unusual and ever so adorable.

As was the way one of the piped up with “Please Mr Jeon, don’t be mad at Mr Monpau. He saved us from an awful crab that was trying to eat us, and then offered us a new home here because the rain ruined our old one” her voice the sweetest thing any of them had ever heard.

“I... huh… well...” Jeon said as his anger was smothered by cuteness “Ah, I can’t be mad when you put it like that. And it is kinda what I empowered him to do anyway so”

“But… who is this?” Ferngaurd asked, her mind tinged with familiarity muddled with nonrecognition she was finding hard to parse. There was a connection there that she could not place.

“Do you not recognise me, my dear Fern” Monpau said, as he gently tugged on that very real and magical connection, causing Ferngaurd gasp as she realized who it was that Jeon had changed: it was her druidic patron, and the patron of many of the other elves of sanctuary: the Huwu’idang who had saved Stagstep’s life.

“But, I, how! You can talk. And you're a snake… thing…”

“Lung dragon” Jeon clarified, before leaving the Avatar, because that was what Jeon had raised the titanic stag into being, and the [druidic adventurer] to their reunion/first real meeting and focusing his attention on the forest creature’s passengers.

“So, what are you little guys huh? Or girls, I guess… huh you’re all girls” he asked/noted as he stepped towards the disembarking fairies, who fluttered down to land on a set of waiting tables Fern had outside her [Warden]’s office. Cherry, however, fluttered towards the god and landed, boldly on his outstretched hand, the one armed woman ready to speak for her people.

“We’re coin fairies Mr Jeon, and we are ever so grateful to you and Mr Monpau. If you had not changed him, and he had not come, I would be crab food right now”

“Eh, you can mostly thank him” Jeon brushed off this thanks he didn't deserve, before asking “so, I take it ms shadows and trade made you,? You don’t seem to fit the vibe I've gotten from her, but she has to have been the one just based on the name, right?”

“Miss Ashevelen? Yeah, she made us, or at least that’s what people say anyway” Cherry agreed

“Hmmm, half made you more like” Jeon said as he peered close at her

“Huh?” Cherry said, confused, before trying and failing to cross her arms while declaring that “That’s very rude to say!”

“Nah, it's true. Here. watch” Jeon said, before calling Stagstep over

“Yeah hi what can I-” the [ranger] who was mostly focusing on how his boo was talking with a giant forest snake lizard several of times her size with worried trepidation, started saying when he walked over, only to go “ow, what was that for!” when Jeon jabbed him in the forehead

“Huh wait, what did you do that for?” Cherry echoed, equally flummoxed by the move

Jeon simply raised the jabbing finger and told them to “Wait for it”

The elf, who had rubbed his forehead in annoyance, suddenly stopped, as his eyes widened in revelation for a few moments … then he just looked a bit annoyed as he said “..... ok. So I know how to make real nice pots out of clay now? Great?” more than a touch dismissively

“See,”Jeon said, not letting Stagstep’s attitude get him down, before saying “now, watch this” and poking Cherry in the forehead too

“Owwww” she said at the poke, followed by “oooooooooow” as she got the worst headache

“See, she didn’t fully form your minds, so I can't stick new knowledge in there, and you can't really pick it up too fast either. You are doomed to always be 3 steps behind and…. Are you ok?” the god was explain when he realized that Cherry was swaying unsteadily on her feet

“Head … getting worse” she complained, sitting down in his hand and clutching her noggin, which caused a very worried Bon-Bon to rush to her own boo’s side for the second time today.

“Oh.oh that isn't good um. Let me just. Um. no.” the god half panicked as he realized that maybe he shouldn't have tried to shove the knowledge of pottery into a brain not fit for divine revelation

“ahhhh, nuts to it” he suddenly resolved, and poked her again, which caused every single coin fairy in the world to black out for half a second, if not then, then as soon as they were somewhere it was safe to do so. Then they woke up, and it was as if a fog had lifted, and they could finally think clearly for the first time.

In many cases, the first thing they thought after ‘wow’ was ‘hey, i could make that thing I saw/got form the big people., only smaller’

Well, except Cherry. She woke up knowing about pots. Which she found about as underwhelming as Stagstep despite how useful it actually was.

Bon Bon, who had landed, hugged Cherry, and then fainted, was still in the, ‘gosh my mind isn’t fuzzy anymore’ phase, and so it was she who asked: “what was that”

“That is what becoming a proper person feels like!” Jeon replied dramatically, before pausing for half a moment and then back peddling “actually no, a proper person sounds like its pretty offensive to anyone who isn’t that. Um. hmmm. Look we’ll workshop it but basically, congratulations, you are done. You, uh, ah you were like a mass of clay before, but now you’ve been fired and finished!”

“What?” Bon-Bon asked, not getting it, which put her in the company of all but 2 mortals in the entire world, to which one of those who did said “yeah, it's a pot joke. Not worth the migrain of divine inspiration to get, trust me.”

“Bah, just you wait. Three weeks from now you’ll all wonder how you ever did anything without ceramic bowls, you’ll see” Jeon retorted. Was pottery his most inspired gift? No. But it was something and he was getting in a bit of a mood about how no one was appreciating it.

“Yeah, sure” Stagstep replied before focusing instead on the new arrivals and saying “Hey uh, little ladies. If you come with me, I can set you up with a house?

“How much?” one asked immediately

“Ah it's free, we’ve got like, a tone to spare still” the [gaurdien] replied with a casual wave of his hand to dismiss the notion

“Wow, really, you must be rich” the asker said in awe. There came a flurry of thank yous from the fairies before they all set off with the [ranger] (several riding on the back of his [animal companion] and being amazed that that was a thing you could do) to go find their new safe and secure home.

“Three weeks and then you’ll see, you’ll all see!” Jeon yelled after them as they took the world’s collective knowledge of ceramics with them, before sighing, taking one look at where Monpau and Ferngaurd were still chatting away and went “ech, nuts to this. I’m going to go have a drink” and then wandered off to do just that while leaving the job of forest protecting in a set of good hands and claws.








wordcount: 2783 (+4)
Midna: level 8 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(107/80)
Location: Gutsford
Warp Charges: 0


Sakura Level 8: 78/80


Midna hopped from shadow to shadow, tailing the bikers through the streets, and, sure enough after finishing their joyride the small gang rolled up to what looked like a hideout of some kind, one next to a gas station and mechanic’s shop of some kind.

She gave a quick glance to said shop, eyes drifting over the weird wrench jugglers and instead spying Tora and Poppie walking away from it. Which was good. If she needed backup they’d be nearby. Unbeknown to her, of course, there was already backup on the scene, something she found out at exactly the same time as the punks as she slipped on into their den before the door shut.

Kasugano Sakura had been led there by Edge. She had swung open the door dramatically upon arrival, only to find no one there. Thus, she set her plastic bag full of radios down in the corner and tried to look as cool as possible, crossing her arms and leaning against a table. It wasn’t long before the bikers arrived.

”Well, well, well. Look who it is-” Sakura began coolly, only for the bikers to react immediately and with violent intent. This immediate escalation took Sakura aback.

”Woah, woah! The door wasn’t even locked!” Sakura said defensively. She got into her light-on-her-feet stance as the green haired one approached, dukes up. Face Paint joined him, looking to reach Edge, but Sakura was feeling greedy. She ducked underneath Green Hair’s punch and shot her foot out towards Face Paint, interrupting his approach on Edge. Then she jabbed Green Hair on the mouth and torso twice, forcing him backwards. Both of them were surprised by just how much the blows hurt, and Sakura grinned.

”Listen- you win, you get all the money I got on me and these cool radios. I win, I get your bikes. Deal?” She offered.

“What the hell’re you talkin’ about?!” Green Hair said angrily. Face Paint turned his attention to her, his nasty looking spiked brass knuckles catching the light. “You’re in for it now, little girl.”
”That’s Miss little girl to you.”

”and you can call me your royal highness” came a voice from behind the goons as Princess Minda rose up from the shadows, giving those that turned a vicious little toothy grin while adding ”when your begging for my mercy”

The blond one with the dragon tattoo’s jaw dropped, causing his toothpick , tiny cigar or something (Midna had no idea what it was) to drop to the floor, while the big guy who thought a padlock was a fashion accessory responded by trying to punch her in the face.

”Rude” Midna told him as she raised her spiky shield to block the blow, causing the guy to go “yowch” and back off shaking his prickled fist. Then he looked up agog at the bright glowing hand Midna’s hair had turned into

”Mines bigger” she informed him, before slamming the brawler into a wall with what she judged was enough force to hurt, but nowhere close to squish.

At Midna’s sudden arrival, Sakura was as surprised as the punks. She deflated slightly, then perked back up. ”Guess a two on one will have to do. Look just don’t hit these guys in the back of the head, okay? ” Sakura said to Midna.

Face Paint and Green Hair rallied, looking to tackle her to the ground. She leapt just above their heads and moved her legs out to the side, shoving them underneath her. As they turned around, Green Hair was blasted back by a Hadoken! That sent him crashing into a table. She rushed forward and fired off a series of jabs towards Face Paint, forcing hims arms upward. She grabbed said arm, breaking his block, and threw him over her shoulder. ”Easy!” He hit the floor with a thud and then stood back up to his feet. She grabbed his arm and threw him over her shoulder. ”Easy!” She said again. He rose again, slower, only to get grabbed and thrown over her shoulder. Breathless, he didn’t get up. ”Now I just feel bad.” Sakura said, setting her fists on her hips for a moment before turning to face Green Hair, who had picked up a heavy looking wrench.

”So far so good, Edge-kun!” She said to her observer, who had elected to just enjoy the show after all. Green Hair rushed her, swinging his heavy wrench towards her head. Sakura Focused, briefly channeling an inky black energy. The wrench bounced right off her skull, much to Green Hair’s dismay, before he received a crumpling knee to the chest. He was knocked around by an elbow, a pendulum-esque double fisted attack, a spin kick, and a rising uppercut that sent him crashing into the wall. Sakura landed, bouncing on her feet.

”I like your outfits, but, other than that, you bring shame to punks everywhere. Where’s your heart-of-gold and sense of community?” She chided her fallen opponents before turning to see what Midna was up too.

Midna had found her own two goons to be a rather annoying combination of squishy and durable. The big guy she’d introduced to the wall had, remarkably, picked himself up right afterwards, very much worse for wear but still spoiling for a fight. Yet she did not want to dig into her growing arsenal of weaponry, because all of it was all way too cutty or burny or toxicy. Even her shield was pointy and potentially lethal.

”I should get a beat stick if I’m going to do any more arresting” She said to herself as she sidestepped a kick from blondie, and then made to grab him. Yet as she did so she found the big guy rushing in, fist raised and then slamming down into her helmet, which was not too sore, but it did let blondie dance away from her grabbing hand.

”Ow.. Uh oh”

She skipped back another step, but the two were on her, and the inability to just stab them or smash everything lest she damaged the bikes meant she was going to have a bit of difficulty fighting them two on one when compared to how easily Sakur had handled that.

So the princess just evened the playing field

”Sike em” she commanded, jabbing a finger forward as she summoned her Wolfos, which proceeded to do just that. The beast raced out of the twilight realm via a portal, dodged around a shoddy kick from a startled big guy and then darted in to bite him.

Right on the butt.

What this meant was, that when Sakura turned to see how Midna was doing she did not see the princess embarrassingly on the defensive, but instead her snatching up blondie like a doll with her shadow hand, and the big guy running towards her, or rather, away to the happily painting wolfos that had bitten a hole in his pants, the two playing the parts of unfortunate postman and territorial housepet respectively.

”Miss Princess Midna, this…this isn’t very sportsmanlike.” Sakura said, no-look kicking Face Paint in the side as he tried to get up. She watched the wolfo chase the poor punk around the room. ”You’re not gonna let your magic dog eat him, are you?” She asked.

”I think it deserves a nibble, don’t you?” she joked, before responding to the point about being sportswomanly with ”I think coming two on one against a pretty lady who was never taught how to throw a punch is the real unsportsmanly thing to do” before turning to look at blondie, who she was holding upside down in her massive magical shadow hand (which could punch through a squads of men in a single strike) and saying ”don’t you agree?”

The thug nodded in desperate agreement which earned him a ”Good boy” from the princess before she turned back to Skura, indicating to the man with a dainty gesturing hand, and said ”See? Even he agrees he’s in the wrong here”

Sakura winced out a smile and walked over and picked up her plastic bag of radios. ”Let’s just wrap this up, okay? It’s pretty clear we win.” Sakura said, a little uncomfortable with this level of gloating.

”Fine fine” Midna replied, before whistling to call off her wolfos, and then tossing blondy at the big guy to deal with the both of them.

”One of the reasons I came here was to grab their motorbikes. I figured maybe we could use ‘em?” She said, looking the vehicles over. ”Yay! The keys are all still in the ignition.” Sakura said.

”Ahhhh, same here” Midna said as she floated over to check out the bikes ”So they’re like mechanical horses instead of mechanical chariots I guess? Interesting. Want me to stash them?” she asked, before leaning in a little closer, the imp floating at just the right position to look like a devil on Sakura’s shoulder from where Edge was standing, and saying ”ooooooor do you wanna give them a go?”

Sakura glanced up at Midna from where she was sitting on one of the motorcycles, already attempting to give it a go. At some point she had yoinked Green Hair’s green goggles and had them resting on her forehead. ”Eh? Stash them?” She asked. ”Where? We need them, don’t we?” She glanced around at the other three motorcycles.

”...Huh. How are we gonna get all four of them out of here, anyway?” Sakura asked, having not thought that far ahead. Sakura was both one step ahead of and two steps behind the proverbial devil on her shoulder. Midna had mentioned her ‘pocket dimension’ in passing during the Meet and Greet, but Sakura both forgot that part due to the impressive display afterwards, and also didn’t know what a pocket dimension was in the first place.

”Oh, right, you don’t know” Midna said, before beckoning her wolfos over and giving him a pat on the head before saying ”Watch” as she summoned a portal and had the wolfos duck down into it back home. Then she ducked down herself, patted the same portal, and pulled a long sword out of it, standing back up and hefting the blade it over her shoulder as she explained: ”So yeah, as you can see, I can stash stuff in my home realm for storage. Beasts too. Just no people. Because they turn into beasts”

Sakura scratched her head, impressed. ”Wow, cool!” She glanced down at the motorcycle between her legs and sighed. ”...I guess you’re right. We should probably do that. Instead of riding them out of here. In a really cool way.” She began to reluctantly step off her new motorcycle, convinced by Midna’s rational and reasonable plan of action.

”Nonononon. Sit. Siiiiit” Minda insisted as she very lightly pushed Sakura back down onto the bike’s seat using her shadow hand, while at the same time floated around and tapped the other bikes to send them away for storage (though not before also re-storing her sword). Sakura’s mouth formed into a small ‘o’ as she hunched her shoulders, placed back onto the bike. Then Midna plopped her butt down on the metal rack sticking out the back of the bike the street fighter was on, both legs dangling off one side ever so unsafely, and commanded:

”Let’s ride!”

”Oooh, okay. If you insist!” Sakura said, smiling. She brought up the kickstand with her foot and then walked the cycle around.

”Bye, Edge-kun. You really helped us out, so thank you very much! We gotta get these back but, afterwards you and I have a fight, okay? It’ll be fun.” She turned to face the exit. She felt bad both about leaving Edge still Gleaming, and also the short walk he was left with, as they needed all the motorbikes.

”Oh, uh. The garage door is still closed. We need, um…we need the switch.” She glanced around for it. ”There! See that little grey box on the wall? Can you use your giant magic hand to flick it, Princess Midna-san?”

”San?” Midna asked about the little addition to her name, even as she did exactly that, a big orange hand reaching up and , after a moment of squinting from the princess as she endeavored to get it just right, delicately flicked the switch.

Sakura pumped her fist as the garage door began to slide open. ”San? It means ‘Miss.’” She explained. She pulled the google down over her eyes, covering the world in a vibrant green.

Minda raised an eyebrow, only for said eyebrow to be covered up a moment later when she slid the half section of a psycho mask she’d tinkered with and tinted up to lock in with her helm. ”Seems a bit redundant after princess, but sure thing” she said, voice muffled by the air purifier now covering her lips.

”...Huh. I think you’re right.’” Sakura realized. The long standing habit of hers didn’t really work if they already had a title. She also remembered something and nodded her head to the plastic bag slung over her shoulder. ”Oh! These radios- or walkie-talkies, haha- can you put them in your magical pocket for now, Princess Midna? They’d be safest there.” Sakura asked.

”Sure thing” Mdina agreed, picking them up with her shadow hand while still sat upon the bike, like she was some kind of crane attachment, and then lifting them up and over so she could touch the bag and store them for later. ”Also if you just want to call me Midna-san, or just Midna, that’s fine. We’re part of a team after all, so no need for honorifics if you don’t wanna use them. I’m no full of herself Queen Sectonia, that’s for sure”

Sakura nodded. ”Sure thing, Midna…san.” She couldn’t quite leave the suffix off, it just felt rude, which the princesse found quite endearing.

Once all that was settled, Sakura adjusted her grip on the handlebars, palms sweaty.

”Ready? Hold on tight.” Sakura said, turning the ignition and revving the engine. ”It’s loud!” Raising her voice over the noise, she looked back over the street. Pulling on the handlebar lever the motorbike accelerated far quicker than Sakura anticipated, and for a moment the front wheel left the ground. ”Eep!”

Midna was for sure glad she’d taken Sakura’s advice, her claw like fingers gripping the bike rack nice and hard meant that she only almost fell off. As it was she only gave an equally embarrassing, if muffled, yelp of surprise alongside the schoolgirl.

Sakura cleared her throat. ”Pretend I said something cooler than that.” Gaining confidence, Sakura treated the motorbike like a bicycle she didn’t need to pedal, and began to head back to the agreed upon meeting point in a distinctly street legal way. ”Wee! Defeats walking!”

”You’ve got that right!” the imp agreed from where she was riding side saddle behind her, before giving a big shadowhand of a wave to Torra and Poppie as they raced on by them, the pair of biker girls still entirely ignorant of how much actual danger was lurking in this sleepy old university town.

Sakura’s plan was to drive them back to the meeting point she had mentioned earlier- the train station.
Q-T Brackman


”Finally!” came a muffled happy cry from the box in Almira’s new room, before it sprung open and the ape sized bot practically leapt out of it, and proceeded to stretch her mechanical limbs after that cramped confinement. It didn’t actually have any helpful results like it would on a stiff human, but it still made her feel better.

While she did this she listened to the captain’s explanation of their polite confinement, and once it was done joked ”From a small box to a slightly bigger one huh?”

She immediately regretted said joke when the captain began scheming about having her sneak out under the guise of a stealth program.

”What no i don’t have anything like tha-” she began to protest, and then gave a : | face when it turned out the captain was carrying that kind of thing around. Not that it was against the rules or anything, but with the captain having stripped down to as light a garb as modesty would allow the moment she was able to, you did have to wonder what she herself would be using it for.

“Go for it Q-T, you can go have an adventure while we keep the captain company” Neilsy encouraged her to go, the way she had copied the captain in lightening her garb not helping Q-T’s assessment of the situation. Or how flustered this was getting her.

”I mean… won’t they think it's weird that the door opens and then closes for no reason?” the bot asked a question which Riley answered by just pointing over to the window to suggest it as an alternate option, which was a final betrayal in the bot’s eyes, at least until the woman spelled out her logic.

“You’ll just get frustrated being in a ‘slightly bigger box’ trust me. I know we will. Just send us back a feed and we’ll get to live vicariously through you” Riley suggested which got the bot going : O as she got the plan.

A couple of moments later, and the human astronauts had set up a futuristic projector showing Q-T’s field of view and, after a bit of amusement at the infinite loop created when the bot looked at it, the now invisible bot slid open the window and clambered up onto the roof of the building all ape like.

Once up, she had a look to and fro, and then set off, doing a six limned run towards the edge of the roof, and then leaping across the street to the next row of buildings. Little maneuvering thrusters flaring, hidden by the stealth field, slowed her fall at the end of the leap, letting her land near silently on the opposite roof

“Really, the first thing you do when out is do parkour?” Riley asked through their network link, “because I am 100% with you there. Go stretch those legs girl”

”Don’t need to tell me to do that. Now. hmmmm where to go…. Ah I know” the bot mused, before coming to a decision and racing off across the rooftops, the stealth field working overtime to muffle her disturbances as she moved swiftly to the tallest building in town, and immediately began clambering up and up and up it, till she reached the very peak.

From there, she did a slow, panoramic scan of the entire city, subroutines buzzing away to make a map of it as she and the trio of voyeurs just drank in the sights and sounds of the city from on high.

”Soooo, where to next, captain?”

wordcount: 461 (+1)
Midna: level 8 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(103/80)
Location: Gutsford
Warp Charges: 0


Midna was having a somewhat frustrating day, as her attempt to turn up transport had come to naught. She’d harangued a whole host of folks, from truck drivers to various logistics and garage personnel, and it all turned up the same answer. There was just no kind of regular travel between this town and the city that they could, legally, make use of. She found this quite bizarre until she got a scant bit of info about how the ‘wastes’ were a dangerous place.

That somewhat explained it, as did the map she acquired, which was more of a pamphlet really that she ‘borrowed’ from the trade hub. Made for the workers there in, it mostly laid out the key logistics of the city that they were a cog in the machine of. Their main two tasks were transporting resources from a ‘Satisfactory’, and food from Meridian Farms, to the city, and so that, along with the transport routes across the winding and dangerous roads of the wastes, was what she now had a knowledge of.

That would be better than heading out into the wastes blind, but the problem of how they would actually make the journey still remained.

There where a whole host of very sub-optimal options that the princess could think of:

  • traveling back and forth 3 to 5 people at a time in the warthog
  • getting into some big scraps to ‘harvest’ the necessary energy to open more twilight portals, and then putting one here and one in the city
  • acquiring mopeds or bicycles and going it slow (but still far faster than walking)
  • heading all the way back to home base to get more cars
  • bribing a bus or truck driver
  • stealing a bus or truck driver
  • sneaking in with some truck cargo
  • just walking forever


But as she sat on a rooftop and scribbled them down with a pencil she had also ‘borrowed’, the princess found she did not particularly like any of them, or at least not liking any of them over any of the others, when she heard the screeching of tyres and the yelling of panic.

Upon hearing the commotion she folded down her map/notepad and took a look down into the street to watch as four rowdy young men went blazing across a pedestrian area, forcing people to duck and dodge out of their way, and then almost caused a crash of a school bus before racing away from the scene of their crime, leaving the shouts of detain and derision from their victims in their wake.

”What a load of jerks. Someone should really do something about that” the princess said to herself, acting the bystander, before flipping the map back up to return to her scheming.

For about 3 heart beats.

Then she flipped it back down, her eyes widening just a little as she realized that ”Wait… I could do something about it!” and flashing a spiky toothed grin before she put her map away, hopped into the closest shadow, and started shadowing the motorcycle gang to see if she could find their lair. If she did, well, then she could confront them and administer some good old fashioned vigilante justice.

Or considering she was royalty, it would, in her opinion, be entirely legitimate justice she’d be handing out. Specifically, she’d start off with a fine, which they could pay her back using their ever so disruptive two wheeled devices of terror that they had used to commit their crimes in the first place.

The Koopa Troop

wordcount: 1,376 (+3)
Bowser: Level 11 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (200/110)
Bowser Jr: Level 11 EXP: /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (79/110)
Kamek: Level 11 EXP: ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(78/110)
Rika: Level 6 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (11/60)
Location: Dirmouth


”Couple of groups of rough looking people down there” Rika noted offhandedly as she idled, back leaning against a building with her new helmet held under one arm and her eyes looking up and to the right as she watched her scout plane’s feeds.

”What, rougher than this lot?” jr asked, jerking a thumb towards the closest group of miners, ”How they manage that?”

”You know. More weapons than diggy things. Loitering around rather than using said diggy things like the others down there. Oh also one group of them yelled at one of the diggy thing people till they handed over something they had on them. That kinda stuff” Rika replied in a very detached manner

”Huh. Sounds like bandits or robbers or something…” Jr said idly, then had a thought and yelled ”Hey! Kamek! Ask that guy about the armed thugs in the canyon or whatever!” at the magikoopa in question, who was trying to negotiate for some surplus goods with the Troops’ not exactly impressive stash of money. Or rather Kamek’s not particularly impressive stash of money, because the other koopas were broke, and his promise that Rika’s money was all her’s still stood.

The people, or rather, person in question he was talking with (with Bowser looming over them all in a failed intimidation check) was a brain in a jar leading a couple of cyclopean robots who seemed to be both quite well armed and rather well geared given that the digging equipment they had were technologically advanced cannon shaped devices that their owner had been more than happy to show off, the digging tool boring a impressive hole in a rock in mere seconds.

These futuristic diggers which were, naturally, way out of the troop’s budget. Something the brain seemed to enjoy lording over them. Fortunately, Jr’s interjection interrupted the snobbish corporate gloating from the brain unit, which turned its glass dome towards the boy to admonish him for being so rude as to interrupt him.

”Ah, hmmm, that does not seem like it is constitutive to a safe working environment” Kamek noted once the unit had got gloating and complaining out of his system, before inquiring ”Don’t suppose you could tell us about what to expect from these, ah, ‘armed thugs’?”

”and hey, maybe we could ‘take care’ of them if you make it worth our while” Bowser added with a crack of his knuckles.

“Hah. Those low lifes are no threat to the likes of me and my magnificent Techion machines” the brain unit replied in a slightly synthetic man’s voice, while one of his robotic troops racked a shotgun for emphasis (and then had to crouched down to pick up the shell it had ejected) “So I hardly need to take you up on that offer”

”Really? There’s quite a lot of them” Rika asked, having wandered over seeing as her scouting was the basis of this whole run of the conversation

“Yes yes but they have all the coordination and unity of a bucket of crabs, so they can’t get together to do anything of note. So instead of being kings of the pit they are a bunch of flocks of territorial magpies, cawing at anyone that comes near, and only distracted from their scavenging in the muck if they spot something shiny. They aren't worth the trouble interacting with, and they certainly aren't worth the trouble to put out a hit on. Anyone with half of brain knows you just need steer clear of their rather obvious holdings and not flaunt any big findings and you’ll be golden“

”Huh? But I just saw someone get into trouble with some of em?” Rika said, genuinely confused by this attitude

“One of these brainless county bumpkins no doubt” the brain replied dismissively “I don’t see how that affects me. I’m not exactly running a charity here, I have quotas to fill”

Attempts to point out that he could very well be next to fall prey of the bandits fell on deaf ears, and the same went for the next few groups Bowser attempted to convince into handing over stuff in return for vague promises about dealing with the bandit problem. The general consensus was that if you know how to avoid them, the bandits were no threat, and if someone got caught out, well, clearly it was because that person was an idiot.

In the end the troops lack of real negotiation skills meant that all they could really boast from the whole string of encounters with the miners was being fleeced out of all Kamek’s souls for a stack of tourches

”Well. Having more sources of light can’t hurt I suppose” Kamek said, trying to find a literal bright side to the situation. When it came down to it, however, this wasn't a complete disaster, as the Troop had (unintentionally) brought some gear that would help, and powers too.

Kamek had his new wisps and an Abyssal Lantern he’d picked up some time ago to shed light into the darkness. Bowser had his fiery breath and would be turning himself into a lamp by eating up as much light as possible before they descended. Jr had glowing fiery goop, Mimi’s electro balls in a pinch and, rather importantly, drill arms on his clown car that would help with any digging they might need to do.

That left only Rika without any light of her own, unless you counted muzzle flares, and so it was to her that the majority of the torches ended up going too, with the ship-girl almost immediately point two in the ‘eyes’ of her Brachydios gauntlet, giving it some spooky glowing eyes which everyone agreed was very cool.

”Well that’s all we got” Kamek admitted once the rest of the group who had stayed topside gathered back up again, ”So I suppose we head down now?”

”mmm. I’ve got an easy path down there that avoids lall the bandit camps all scouted out, so yup, we can go whenever” Rika informed them all as her planes came back in for a landing in the little hangers on her gauntlets.

”Excellent…” the mage replied, before realizing something and asking ”wait, what happened to my whisps, hmmm?”

The mage turned, raised a hand over his brow and spied out over the canyon, but it was jr who first pointed up at the glowing motes hovering in the air close to a building that looked like a barge.

”There they are … Are they making an arrow” he asked and, sure enough, the dots of sentient mana were doing just that, creating the rough shape of a glowing arrow pointing at the area where an incident seemed to be ongoing. One involving some of their crew and some rough looking fellows. Quite possibly the bandits they had been informed only an idiot would get close too.

”Oh come on! He can’t go like an hour without causing trouble!” Jr tossed his arms up and cried out, blaming all of this on Omori, before slapping his hands down on the rim of his clown car and declaring ”Guess we’ll have to go and bail him out. Again!”

With that, the prince took off, swooping down towards the barge, though odds were he’d arrive after whatever was going to go down. An ever nervous Kamek went after his young master, worried about both children, and leaving the ground pounders behind.

”But… my path… aw” Rika said, a fair bit dejected that her route wasn’t going to the one they used.

”Eh, their fault for running off before you could make it. Besides, we’ll still need to go down the rest of the way so, uh, maybe re-jig it a bit and it’ll be good?” Bowser told her encouragingly with a pat on the back, ”now come on, you can beat your disappointment into a bandit or something if things get messy”

With that poor advice given, the king set off at a stomping jog, occasionally leaping over obstacles or Meowser scrambling up them. Rika revved her chainsaw bayonet once at the thought of working out a bit of her frustration, and then set off after him, floaty jumping and thruster boosting herself after the rest of the Troop.


turn IV


Jeon watched from the shadows and from on high as a team of tenticular Rirakuri hauled ore out of one of the many many hidden caches he’d dotted about the labyrinth city. It had meant to be a hard won reward, but also one that he did not have to worry about being unguarded for a while because none knew how to work that metal yet.

Then, from out of nowhere, the Rirakuri. They did not know how to farm or weave, to build or to bake, but they knew how to forge metal into tools, it seemed. Given that their king had been chosen by violence, he knew what they were going to make most of with their new forges, and it wasn’t going to be plowshares, that was for sure.

“Well, that’s going to be a problem now isn't it” the god said to himself “so how about we contest those resources a little eh? Sorry folks, but the free samples are over, now you’re gonna have to work for it”

The god snapped his fingers and pointed at an inconspicuous part of the warped landscape that suddenly… started moving. Stone crumbled away as four massive legs of living metal strode out from the disintegrating structure, showering dust and masonry across the wide empty road that made up the center of this tunnel.

It paused there, for a moment, and then turned a central head around towards the stunned Rirakuri, and with a flash beam of light coming from three massive red eyes lit up the ore thieves, despite them being several stories up from the floor of the tunnel.

An alien sound like a distorted foghorn roared with displeasure, echoing through the labyrinth’s tunnels. This was followed by a wet mechanical sound as, unseen to the cowering Rirakuri, something, or rather several somethings, dropped to the floor from the base of the titan’s torso. They would not remain unaware of these for long however, as beneath the gaze of their metal mother scurrying things raced up the walls of the labyrinth on skittering legs, bright central eyes glowing and barbed tails poised above, ready to strike.

Upon spotting them a single Rirakuri writhed out from among its kin, a taskmaster of some kind if Jeon where to guess, given they had been the only one armed, and also the only one who had not been doing labor. Brandishing several crude copper spears, and confident they could take these things that where only a third of their side, they thrust at the closest skittering thing, only for the brittle blade to snap upon contact with its black biomechanical carapace.

The taskmaster cried out in horror and surprise, before being impaled in turn by a barbed metal stinger at the end of the swarming thing’s tail. A blow that was followed a heartbeat later by numerous other stinger strikes from its fellows.

As their leader fell, the Rirakuri workers turned and fled, harried by the swarming things till they were out of sight. With the ore thieves gone, the metal mother claimed its prize, tendrils at the base of it’s body reaching out and plucking the abandoned minerals which it pulled to the cavity beneath its body the swarmers had come from. Then it began spawning more soldiers, in anticipation of retaliation.

Come retaliation did, the settlement the ore thieves had responded to the news of this titan by sending out all of their warriors, many hardened fighters from the early cannibal wars, and others taught the new dark arts of abyssal sorcery.

They ran into more of the same swarming creatures first, spread out as sentries perhaps. Several of the Rirakuri ‘s number fell before the fighters realized that to kill these machines they had to strike the glowing red eyes at the front of the creatures, several times till a sort of crystal that was there shattered, causing the life to fade from them entirely. They seemed to freeze in place once dead, turning into stiff jagged statues of brittle metal in which, disturbingly, no soul could be found.

The army pushed on despite this lack of a meal, confidence growing now that they knew these things could be killed.

Folley and arrogance both.

They returned to the site where the ore silo had been found and discovered a line of towering brutish figures, nearly twice as large as the Rirakuri themselves, hauling armfuls of ore out onto the causeway in their crab claw-like arms. These minerals were then dumped into a pile upon which their metal mother feasted.

Outraged at this thing taking what was rightfully theirs, the Rirakuri attacked, swarming forwards to attack either with crafted weapons or with parts of their body that they hardened into jagged claws.

They ran into a hail of death.

While the Brutes were still moving to respond to the appearance of the attack force, smaller, more human sized monsters popped out from hiding spots dotted around the bizarre cityscapes’ improbable architecture. Each one had an arm that looked like a useless handless stub till light flared from the tip and a bolt of energy shot out. A veritable wave of these projectiles arched out from all around the Rirakuri, and where they struck they blasted off chunks of flesh.

As the melee troopes panicked, mages raised their tendrils and called out the abyss to protect them and to strike down their foes. Walls of summoned tentacles rose up to form cover for the mages themselves, before they brought forth unholy lumbering beasts and swift fliers to send against their attackers.

The troopers blasting them where swarmed by bizarre combinations of bats and squids, yet these creatures where too stupid to target the glowing red weakpoints on the machine’s chests, and so most where cut down using stinger like armblades before they could strike those spots by luck.

Beasts charged forwards, only for the ore carrying brutes to open up with their own arm cannons, red energy exploding and blasting chunks out of the monsters, or vaporizing small groups of Rirakuri.

Then, from above, dropped predators which seemed akin to a serpent whole’s head had been grafted to a body of pure muscle, yet with its tail still intact. Vicious claws tore at the spellcasters while the massive tail extending out the back of their head swatted aside those trying to protect them.

The Rirakuri had numbers on their side however, and so, perhaps, if they kept their nerve, they could still win the day.

Jeon did not stick around to find out, because even if the squatters did win, he could always make more of his new labyrinth sentinels. Something he was going to do regardless.

He didn’t just make more machines however. That would be dull to him. So he spiced things up a bit in between sentinel seedings. In the deepest parts of the labyrinth, where the rock turned hot and magma spilled through the streets, he injected a little something into the mantle of the earth that then rose up to meet him, or any who dug too deep and too greedily. A bull of molten fury who would destroy all who attempted to plunder the depths for its mineral riches: the magnataur.

That should make the task of simply digging up more ore a touch trickier for the Rirakuri if they gave up on the silos.

Then, for fun really, he added that most quintessential monster to the world at large: the humble slime. Born of damp and a bit of lingering divine might, slimes were simple spheres of goo that hopped or rolled around their homes, eating just about anything and everything. Any fluid would do, and any power too, which caused all sorts of strange and fantastical slimes to come into existence, from blood slimes, to magma slimes, to ice slimes born in different climates, to coin slimes, forest slimes, kung-fu slimes and abyssal slimes born of different essences.

A somewhat dangerous new addition, but one that could be a source of great power, for the slimes held the essences of their origins even after the soul had been cleaved from their bodies, and who knew what an inventive mortal might come up with if they could get their hands on that.

Having made life thoroughly more interesting for the Rirakuri down in their labyrinthian home, Jeon decided to call it a day. He snuck out of one of the castle entrances, just in time to see the first trees being felled in the name of industry by a gang of industrious Rirakuri.

Then a little bit later he got to see the those same Rirakuri being gored to death by several dozen redwood deer, the forest kin’s eyes glowing red instead of their usual green as nature defended itself from civilization.

“Huh. I forgot I made them do that. You relearn something new every day” the god noted from the branches of another tree, as the settlement who had gone to war against the sentinels got a second helping of death added to their day as the would be lumberjacks briefly fought and then fled from the deer herd.

Given the furosity shown down below however, Jeon did not expect this would be enough to keep Rirakuri kind as a whole away from the woods for long. Forges needed fuel, and there was little to none to be found in the labyrinth. He hadn’t exactly put coal down there after all.

So. Best do something to prepare for that little problem




“So… you’re telling me you want me to, what, form an ‘army’ of elves to protect the forest?” Fernfriend replied to Jeon’s request incredulously “I don't even know what an ‘army’ is! Also protect it from what? Are we not doing a good enough job at that already?”

A deep grunt resounded from her Huwu’idang companion (the treesized life preserving deer) which was, probably, an agreement that she was doing well. Certainly the [druidic adventurer] had not been idle since she’d received her duty to the woods, which had mainly involved spreading the wisdom of Druidry and plant shaping to other tribes, so that the lure of tree cutting in the name of construction could be cut off at the pass. The same thing that the Rirakuri had just learned had certainly prevented much in the way of that so far, but offering up an alternative prevented resentment and jealousy from erupting, and also put a lid on any planning to try and get around the forest-kin inflicted lumbering embargo, was certainly helping.

Add to that a bit of smacking the odd pyromancer over the head with a stick to knock some sense into them, and Fernfriends days were both busy and productive.

“All true, but while you’ve been productively shimmying around the woods, I’ve been getting out and about just a bit, and let me tell you, it’s a busy and dangerous world out there” the god replied, leaving out the specifics. Like how apparently someone or something had laid waste to swaths of human kingdoms to the north. Or that they were warring among themselves. Or just, the Rirakuri’s whole deal.

The god wasn’t one to hold hands, but he was one to give tools so that the hand’s he wasn’t holding could do something about their own problems.

“Let me put it this way, there are people who live outside the darkwoods, and some of them will want to cut down the trees, and unlike you all, they don’t need to live here, and can mitigate the consequences. Consequences that will affect you, because, well, one, you do live here, and two, all of the forest-kin running out of the woods to fight woodcutters isn't going to be good for the ecosystem, trust me”

“Huh? If this is about shadowton then I already talked with them. They’ve got their own forest after all, and there was this whole talk of, urgh, ‘limited supply being good for profit margins’ or something when I told them we could still get them some of our unique trees and plants sustainably” Fernfriend retorted

“And that is one direction out of four. Like I said, world’s been changing, and new neighbors are moving in”

“Huh? Who?” she asked, which caused Jeon to give a disguised Rirakuri fumbling its way through excuses as to why it knew nothing of wood elf culture a heartbeat’s worth of side eye before looking back to Fernfriend, shrugging, and saying “you’ll just have to find that out for yourselves”

“Very helpful”

“I know I am, which is why i’m not just going to tell you to do a thing, but I’ll give you a little leg up too, by titling you as a [Warden]” he offered

“Is that a good one or?”

“Not quite a [monarch], but it's up there” he insisted, but she did not seem convinced “Tell you what, I’ll give you the class, and then all you need to do is look into the whole neighbors situation and you can decided whether it’ll be a good idea to pursue my idea or not”

There was a long, long pause while the two stared each other down, till at least the [Druidic adventurer] agreed “Fine”

“Excellent, then by the power vested in me as the creator of these woods, I now anoint you it’s [Warden]” he declared, before pulling out a fresh circlet he’d made for her, which was made out of ferns with kite shield shaped fronds and telling her that “also your name is Ferngaurd now”

“I.. fi-” she agreed with a sigh as she took the circlet and then paused, listening to level up notifications and skill acquisitions while replacing her old one with it.

Once they were done she asked “So what is a [guardian] then, because I can apparently anoint those now”

“You’ll just have to find out” the god replied in a sing-song voice, already backing away while giving her finger guns, before calling back “I wish you good luck with this whole thing! Toodles!” and then darting away.

“Uuurgh” the elf groaned, before calling out “Hey Stagstep, you can stop hiding from Jeon now. Now come over here, there’s something I need to try out”

And thus, after a bit more conjolng, the first new member of the Darkwoods Guardians joined its ranks. It would need to gain plenty more as the world only grew more dense with terrors.






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