The concept of Heat is acknowledged in the scientific community. As such, your CS can now go to the CS tab, Heat.
Ellri Member
Lord of Eat
Relic
STATUS:
Peace is a Lie, there is only Passion. Through Passion, I gain Strength. Through Strength, I gain Power. Through Power, I gain Victory. Through Victory, My Chains are Broken. The Force Shall Free Me.
7 yrs ago
- Last Seen: 3 yrs ago
- Old Guild Username: Ellri
- Joined: 12 yrs ago
- Posts: 3731 (0.82 / day)
- VMs: 5
-
Username history
- Ellri 12 yrs ago
-
Latest 10 profile visitors:
-
Most recent →
Ohm,
kingeditor,
Armed Forces,
Forsythe
Status
Recent Statuses
7 yrs ago
Current
Peace is a Lie, there is only Passion. Through Passion, I gain Strength. Through Strength, I gain Power. Through Power, I gain Victory. Through Victory, My Chains are Broken. The Force Shall Free Me.
3
likes
8 yrs ago
"Never was, never will be."
8 yrs ago
We find that our favorite damage type is collateral.
8 yrs ago
We do not corrupt mortals. We teach them enlightened self-interest.
8 yrs ago
Peace is a lie. There is only passion (for cookies).
2
likes
Bio
User has no interest in writing a bio yet.
Most Recent Posts
Time for criticism of your sheet, @Feisty-pants.
Your character is ridiculously overpowered.
It takes a lifetime to master a single lightsaber form. Nobody, no matter how prodigious, masters three in a fifth of that time.
We ran a quick Mary Sue test on your character, and it failed. Miserably.
105 points, to be precise. That is more than twice what you need to be in the extremely high chance range.
Your “flaws” only make your character work better, not weakening it. When something is normal for Jedi, then it is not a flaw for a Jedi.
The one thing that might have been almost a flaw, you reversed to an advantage. You do know that flaws detract from a character’s function, not add to it, right?
As mentioned above. Even mastery of a single lightsaber form at the young age of 23 is beyond improbable. Mastery of three forms doesn’t happen.
Your other skills have no explanation for how she gained them beyond them being extremely convenient to have.
Telepathy is highly unreliable in star wars. Its not used to read minds. For most, it can send vague concepts, a few can send words.
Most humans become padawans around the age of twelve to fourteen, or in wartime or if they’ve been raised from infancy as Jedi it might be a few years earlier. Becoming one at the age of seven isn’t “at last”. It is very, very early. Initiate training takes much more than four years.
You give no details about how she’s of any use in anything other than combat. Nothing to explain other skills.
Not even a prodigy can easily defeat someone with many years of experience in actual combat. Sith who aren’t mere apprentices (which is the great majority) are extremely powerful. If they’re not masters of combat, they are highly skilled with the Force. For someone to rise to the rank of Sith Lord, they will have fought their way up for decades, been on the watch against their peers the whole time. Even Jedi masters can be in trouble when faced with a trained Sith Lord who has mastered either combat or especially the Force.
Again, rising to the rank of Jedi master takes decades, not just a few years.
The final secret has no reasoning or logic behind it. The citizens of the Empire are raised to hate the republic and all it stands for. The Sith even more so. One of them would hardly abandon that cause when they are finally getting their revenge, let alone for a life in poverty.
To sum it all up:
Your character has no flaws of note, has skills for someone ten times her age, has no depth to speak of and is lacking in logic.
Your character is ridiculously overpowered.
It takes a lifetime to master a single lightsaber form. Nobody, no matter how prodigious, masters three in a fifth of that time.
We ran a quick Mary Sue test on your character, and it failed. Miserably.
105 points, to be precise. That is more than twice what you need to be in the extremely high chance range.
Your “flaws” only make your character work better, not weakening it. When something is normal for Jedi, then it is not a flaw for a Jedi.
The one thing that might have been almost a flaw, you reversed to an advantage. You do know that flaws detract from a character’s function, not add to it, right?
As mentioned above. Even mastery of a single lightsaber form at the young age of 23 is beyond improbable. Mastery of three forms doesn’t happen.
Your other skills have no explanation for how she gained them beyond them being extremely convenient to have.
Telepathy is highly unreliable in star wars. Its not used to read minds. For most, it can send vague concepts, a few can send words.
Most humans become padawans around the age of twelve to fourteen, or in wartime or if they’ve been raised from infancy as Jedi it might be a few years earlier. Becoming one at the age of seven isn’t “at last”. It is very, very early. Initiate training takes much more than four years.
You give no details about how she’s of any use in anything other than combat. Nothing to explain other skills.
Not even a prodigy can easily defeat someone with many years of experience in actual combat. Sith who aren’t mere apprentices (which is the great majority) are extremely powerful. If they’re not masters of combat, they are highly skilled with the Force. For someone to rise to the rank of Sith Lord, they will have fought their way up for decades, been on the watch against their peers the whole time. Even Jedi masters can be in trouble when faced with a trained Sith Lord who has mastered either combat or especially the Force.
Again, rising to the rank of Jedi master takes decades, not just a few years.
The final secret has no reasoning or logic behind it. The citizens of the Empire are raised to hate the republic and all it stands for. The Sith even more so. One of them would hardly abandon that cause when they are finally getting their revenge, let alone for a life in poverty.
To sum it all up:
Your character has no flaws of note, has skills for someone ten times her age, has no depth to speak of and is lacking in logic.
Its in the skills section, first Para.
Kinsa's belief isn't really problematic. Unless we go out on a deep tangent away from plausible canon, it is not as if the theory will actually be possible to test.
Kinsa's belief isn't really problematic. Unless we go out on a deep tangent away from plausible canon, it is not as if the theory will actually be possible to test.
that makes more sense, Frettzo.
and we figured on the Tattooine bit... it was just too chuckleworthy not to mention.
and we figured on the Tattooine bit... it was just too chuckleworthy not to mention.
Good luck to you too, @SimplyJohn.
Provided the sheet meets the requirement and fits the RP, there is generally always room for more prisoners, @Feisty-Pants.
@Frettzo
There are a few points here too.
----
Your listing of Force Capabilities is a bit scarce, especially considering her status as a Jedi Master. We were under the impression she was to have Psychometry as well?
----
How deeply inside the planet was Kinsa when she fought that Sith lord?
----
There is a small numerical error in your sheet.
With Kinsa being 39 years old, the attack on the temple she was in at the age of 8 would have happened 31 years ago. Considering that the Sith returned to the Galactic scene 28 years ago, they could not possibly have attacked that temple three years earlier.
We see two options here.
Either you change her age at the time to at least 11, probably 12-13.
or
You change the number and don’t make it clear who the attackers were. We don’t know of any Jedi academies destroyed around this time, but perhaps it could have been a far-ranging praxeum ship?
The best might actually be a combination of the two. Move her to a far-ranging praxeum ship that was attacked early on in the Great Galactic War. Only luck prevented its destruction and most of the Jedi on board it died.
----
Also, space wasn’t a problem in the Jedi academies or the Jedi temple. Especially not with the war going on.
---------
Finally, the Jedi as a whole don’t think that they can destroy the Dark Side of the Force anymore than they can remove the laws of nature or such. They do wish to eradicate the Sith and all others who use it, but they can’t exactly destroy part of the Force. We’re pretty sure thats what you meant, right?
There are a few points here too.
----
Your listing of Force Capabilities is a bit scarce, especially considering her status as a Jedi Master. We were under the impression she was to have Psychometry as well?
----
I specialize in the Ataru lightsaber form, though I also have a certain skill in Soresu, which I forced myself to learn after a fight with a Sith Lord in Tattooine.
How deeply inside the planet was Kinsa when she fought that Sith lord?
----
There is a small numerical error in your sheet.
With Kinsa being 39 years old, the attack on the temple she was in at the age of 8 would have happened 31 years ago. Considering that the Sith returned to the Galactic scene 28 years ago, they could not possibly have attacked that temple three years earlier.
We see two options here.
Either you change her age at the time to at least 11, probably 12-13.
or
You change the number and don’t make it clear who the attackers were. We don’t know of any Jedi academies destroyed around this time, but perhaps it could have been a far-ranging praxeum ship?
The best might actually be a combination of the two. Move her to a far-ranging praxeum ship that was attacked early on in the Great Galactic War. Only luck prevented its destruction and most of the Jedi on board it died.
----
Also, space wasn’t a problem in the Jedi academies or the Jedi temple. Especially not with the war going on.
---------
Finally, the Jedi as a whole don’t think that they can destroy the Dark Side of the Force anymore than they can remove the laws of nature or such. They do wish to eradicate the Sith and all others who use it, but they can’t exactly destroy part of the Force. We’re pretty sure thats what you meant, right?
@Genni
There are a few points that feel wrong to us.
The nicknames seem… off… Something doesn’t feel “star wars-ey” about them.
The appearance and other basic details are ok. Nice explanation for tattoos.
When you refer to gaseous environments… Do you mean anything with a fairly normal atmosphere?
You put her as being grievously wounded, but had her brought to the temple for healing. In this era (3653 Before the Battle of Yavin), the best healers aren’t on Coruscant. They are found in the H’Ratth Academy, on the planet H’Ratth. Perhaps you had her first treated there, then brought to the temple for the final bits of recovery before redeployment?
You mention she’s not good at deflecting blaster bolts back, yet give her Force Deflection. That doesn’t exactly rhyme. We’d suggest having only the tutaminis there. The way tutaminis works, she could absorb the energy from blaster bolts into her body and either diffuse it or channel it away completely. For regular deflection, use the lightsaber. Its much more reliable.
we assume you mean “Glee Anselm” rather than “Glee Anslam”, as the latter doesn’t appear in the wiki.
Jedi recruiters are fairly effective and as such, planets fairly distant from the front lines while still deep in the republic would be skimmed frequently for jedi candidates. How old do you imagine her being when recruited?
As the galaxy is at war, the Jedi was not too strict on age for their recruits. Against the Sith, they needed numbers.
Recruits weren’t typically selected for a certain path of training, but they were often encouraged towards a path they were good at. If she showed aptitude for a guardian role, they would have encouraged her towards that.
When you reference ‘fly on the wind’ is that a figure of speech for force acrobatics? Or are you referencing actual levitation through the Force (which is an advanced and rare development of Telekinesis). If it’s just acrobatics, thats fine. We’d prefer not to see levitation in the game though, and if you were meaning that, going for just being a really good Force assisted acrobat would be advisable.
Failing the trials the first time is an interesting choice. Its nice to see someone not succeed on the first try.
I notice you mention Yoda and Anakin in your biography… Neither of them have been born yet, and won’t be for several thousand years. The RP is set just prior to the events of the game ‘Star Wars: The Old Republic’ 300 years after the events of the game ‘Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.’
Also as a note, romantic involvement is allowed in this era, though it is not taken lightly. Typically it requires council approval for serious relationships to continue though, so her actions in that area can stay the same.
Your secret seems ok and acceptable, as does having Battle Meditation.
There are a few points that feel wrong to us.
The nicknames seem… off… Something doesn’t feel “star wars-ey” about them.
The appearance and other basic details are ok. Nice explanation for tattoos.
When you refer to gaseous environments… Do you mean anything with a fairly normal atmosphere?
You put her as being grievously wounded, but had her brought to the temple for healing. In this era (3653 Before the Battle of Yavin), the best healers aren’t on Coruscant. They are found in the H’Ratth Academy, on the planet H’Ratth. Perhaps you had her first treated there, then brought to the temple for the final bits of recovery before redeployment?
You mention she’s not good at deflecting blaster bolts back, yet give her Force Deflection. That doesn’t exactly rhyme. We’d suggest having only the tutaminis there. The way tutaminis works, she could absorb the energy from blaster bolts into her body and either diffuse it or channel it away completely. For regular deflection, use the lightsaber. Its much more reliable.
we assume you mean “Glee Anselm” rather than “Glee Anslam”, as the latter doesn’t appear in the wiki.
Jedi recruiters are fairly effective and as such, planets fairly distant from the front lines while still deep in the republic would be skimmed frequently for jedi candidates. How old do you imagine her being when recruited?
As the galaxy is at war, the Jedi was not too strict on age for their recruits. Against the Sith, they needed numbers.
Recruits weren’t typically selected for a certain path of training, but they were often encouraged towards a path they were good at. If she showed aptitude for a guardian role, they would have encouraged her towards that.
When you reference ‘fly on the wind’ is that a figure of speech for force acrobatics? Or are you referencing actual levitation through the Force (which is an advanced and rare development of Telekinesis). If it’s just acrobatics, thats fine. We’d prefer not to see levitation in the game though, and if you were meaning that, going for just being a really good Force assisted acrobat would be advisable.
Failing the trials the first time is an interesting choice. Its nice to see someone not succeed on the first try.
I notice you mention Yoda and Anakin in your biography… Neither of them have been born yet, and won’t be for several thousand years. The RP is set just prior to the events of the game ‘Star Wars: The Old Republic’ 300 years after the events of the game ‘Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.’
Also as a note, romantic involvement is allowed in this era, though it is not taken lightly. Typically it requires council approval for serious relationships to continue though, so her actions in that area can stay the same.
Your secret seems ok and acceptable, as does having Battle Meditation.
© 2007-2026