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9 mos ago
Current I'm tempted to say "I've lost better friends than you" to a lote of people lately. I'm not sure what I ever want to say to the better friends that I've lost, though.
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Bio

Twelve years ago, I said something on this website that continues to embarrassing me to this day. I was a stupid kid, like most, but I've never quite gotten the taste out of my mouth. Anyone who knew me at the time can tell you about it.

I love this website. I'm pretty sure my phylactery is stored wherever the webserver is and a significant chunk of me will just disappear when it ceases operation. Until then, it comforts me. I should go to the hardware store and paint my bedroom walls with the same soft, brownish grey that the background color has been for the last twelve years. Some of my friends can't wait for the site to go offline but I don't know of any other places that offer the same sense of community.

I'm an omni-gamer. I like board games, tabletop roleplaying games, admire tabletop war games, suck at riddles, and have an absurd library of video games. Survival horror is basically my favorite genre. Otherwise I'm a fan of esoteric, occult bullshit and punk rock. But disco's cool. Disco is what humanity sounds like when it chooses to be happy. Between you and I, I'd like to hope that the days of my life can sparkle like a disco ball, accreting like sparks from a grinder held up against the unwavering dark of deaths own shadow. Burn baby burn.

You and I, we're gonna die. We should be friends first, though. Write some checks we can't cash and make eachother smile. Make believe for a while.

Most Recent Posts

<Snipped quote by Inkarnate>
Will it also have blackjacks and hookers?


And indents.
Anyone interested in partnering with me to make this game into an extremely ameteurish audiobook?
I would love it if Lex Luthor ran for president and the way that the heroes got around this was by running for president themselves. You could put Bruce Wayne or Ultimate Hush in the oval office, or an actual President Superman.
@Retired The most unfunny thing in this thread was you replying to that on each of your accounts. I swear to god.


I knew it was Rade.

There Weren't Really Any Clocks Around
The Weapon X Facility, Canada


The air is every bit as wet as Michael Phelp's favorite towel and, even worse, the mists smell like what would rise out of that towel if you pissed on it, doused it with expired milk and left it under your laziest siblings bed. Awful, right? Yeah. Now imagine that you can have the nasal-cognitive coordination to tell whether the individual who'd soiled that towel was pregnant or not, how much they weighed and how many times they'd shaken more salt onto their most recent meal. The man Cornelius was waiting on could practically differentiate how many grains had landed on your plate.

Now, Doctor Abraham Cornelius had walked into the room. The man wasn't necessarily the most classically masculine of people to have ever existed nor was he the pregnantest, but his muffintop easily could've concealed a gestating scientist that would one day take the world by storm. Or maybe his generous physique held a crew of little people that was piloting his frame like an old FORD whose power steering had gone out. It would certainly explain the clumsiness.

"Goddammit," Cornelius barked, calling upon a being who almost certainly wasn't listening. "Hines, get over here."

"Yes, Doctor Cornelius!" a being marginally more invested in Cornelius's dealings chirped before springing to his side.

"Where is Patient Ten?"

"Mr. Logan, doctor?"

"Yes, Logan. Who did you think I meant? Bernie Sanders?" he snarled, grumpily.

"Ten is in the den, sir."

"Fantastic. Go get him. Be sure to let him know that he's late," Abraham bitched before driving the young lady out of his sight. After watching his assistant's great personality exit the room, he angrily bashed his papers together like action figures, pretending to sort them. In his left hand, he held the Cobain Doctrine, in which Mr. Logan had signed away his personhood in exchange for Weapon X to take extinguish the flames of his suffering. In his right hand, he had an excerpt from William Bunting's brilliant new short story as it was scratched out in the spiral notebook that it had entered this world through. Sitting in front of him, like a dungeon master's screen, was a collage of x-rays, blueprints, essays and news clippings that he had to reference often.

Even minutes before the first step of the operation was scheduled to take place, he was still tinkering with his designs. A masterfully inked sketch of Logan's skeleton was on a regular piece of printer paper, sitting with a sweet suite of translucent wax paper print-outs staggered on top of it, each one sporting a slightly different build of possible augmentations. Attempt Number 10 for Weapon X: A man whose healing factor made surgical options so versatile that he could become anything. Abraham postures the venom glands on X's arm, he licks his teeth and spreads the gyro-ribcage corset over the model's core, and he giddily slides the retractable grapnel-claw attachment before reaching for his favorite bit--

"Doctor," Carol interrupts him, "Patient Ten is here.". His expression is as flat as a board. His blood runs cold. In his embarrassment he gashes his finger with one of the laminated weapon sketches before squeezing that finger. The patient's eyes flash open and he crouches ever so slightly, like a tiger getting ready to pounce on a piglet. Dr. Cornelius face flushes rosy red. He may as well have been masturbating for all the embarrassment he felt when they walked in.

"Um, hello Mr. Logan. Glad you could make it."

Logan nods his head, keeping his mouth shut. His throat crushes itself, like a wet sponge, demanding he lubricate it with some blood to keep the motor running. He resists. The place smells like death to him, but not in the sense that he smells shit and wants to get away. The death in the air hits Logan's nostrils like sizzling bacon grease hits just about any American nose.

Like a tour guide, Miss Carol Hines breaks the air and says, "Alright, we got all your paperwork squared away. We got your medical documents and we got everything we need to get started today. We'll just run some preliminary tests, get'cha a dose of the good stuff and we'll have you invincible in no time."
If that's what you're using the images for, use this one instead:

Okay @ErsatzEmperor. That was deeply conflicting. On the one hand, your backstory is definitely more than four paragraphs, but on the other hand, slapping your sample in the middle of your history was so slick.
<Snipped quote by Dedonus>

Never considered myself particularly virtuous.


Ditto.
Hi there!

How much longer would you expect sign-ups to remain open? I'm interested in doing a take on Iron Fist (secondary idea: Doom Patrol), but can't promise getting it up within, say, 24h. Probably want to revisit Fraction's The Immortal Iron Fist and make sure I can do it jusssssstice (disclaimer: I can't).


These things usually don't close.
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