Avatar of Fetzen

Status

Recent Statuses

19 days ago
Current People are torn apart in the status bar ? Not me. I am heavier than iron, splitting me apart will release dangerous levels of energy.
8 likes
28 days ago
I got money, I'll just buy the whole prison including all inmates from the state, but not before placing a bet on the financial markets that crime rate will massively increase very soon and suddenly.
3 likes
3 mos ago
Colleagues told me I'd look like a viking. I'm not sure whether that's a compliment, a warning, something derogative or all of these things.
4 likes
3 mos ago
I'd change the name from 'President' to 'Presidentist' to troll the nation. If a press conference is too noisy, I let a piece of chalk screech on an old whiteboard in front of the microphone.
4 likes
6 mos ago
Why doesn't the US government order the invasion of their own country, North America got plenty of natural resources, too! *looks at ICE and national guard activities* Oh wait, they already are...
1 like

Bio


Welcome to my profile page!


Who the hell is this person behind those many miles of fiber optics and copper cable ?

  • I'm a 34 year old guy.
  • ... who's working as a software developer
  • ... and enjoys roleplaying as a casual hobby to distract himself from ongoing stress


And into which hell will I descend with you participating in one of my roleplays?

  • I'm a fantasy addict: medieval high and low!
  • I'd consider myself to be a low casual roleplayer, 3 paragraphs per post on average.
  • My schedule varies. It might happen that I won't be able to post at all for a week, but then again it might happen that I'll reach a sweet spot inside which I can go on a posting rampage. I'd say one can expect 1-2 posts a week from me, depending on the lengths involved.
  • English is not my native language, but so far I've not encountered anyone who had had trouble with me over that :)


Want to RP with me ? Shoot me a PM, but don't shoot me!



Thanks for visiting!

Most Recent Posts

What an undignified desaster! Couldn't these dipshitting blood pumps who already had the privilege at living over the top of society at least develop some priorities like escaping first and then feeding outside of the public ? As if there wasn't already more than enough to clean up. Balthazar did not exactly deem himself to be the most sociable person himself, but this was...

... an attack run coming for him!

Being in the middle of the parking lot, the demon's mind ran through his options: He could try the kickstart thing and speed away on the bike before this vampire could reach him, but that was more a faint probability of success than any real hope. He could alternatively release an incendiary blast, but as this as this was his secret favorite, it would likely added more people to the casualty list and maybe set his own escape route on fire. There was no lack of gasoline in the cars parked here.

Balthazar took a leap which was not exactly super impressive, but for somebody of the demon's sheer size surprisingly maneuverable still. A forward sumersault later and the vampire's momentum would hopefully carry him over Balthazar's now crouched position and onto a patch of empty concrete floor instead. No time to take a lot of aim himself really though, instead he just stretched his right arm upwards and released a plume of something shimmering in green and blue-ish color without even looking. The demon mentally prepared for the smell of burnt flesh.

First of all however, the brief burst of fire spread across the ceiling and made two of the adjacent strip lights pop. Mercury vapor mixed with finely grained glass ? Just the thing he needed to inhale for this rapidly deteriorating misery of a day!

You leave her only to pick her up later in a luxury car. With a massive blow to high society, there should be a few vehicles available on the market again. Gotta do things the knightly way, you know ?

I also have the feeling as if Balthazar might soon have some collateral property damage on his ticket.
Balthazar was a man of fire, one who just loved seeing things go up in flames and whose lungs had inhaled quite a lot of normally not so healthy smoke. Yet the sheer level at which this 'modern society' expended precious fuel for nothing but some time to smoke those disgusting cigarettes while sitting idle in a traffic jam every day was... a mentally challenging concept. The driver of the white sedan in front of him had just tossed out one of those petty tobacco pipelets halfway finished and the demon turned his head to see how far he could back up his motorcycle just to escape the smell.

He had stopped the engine over a minute ago already as no end to the queue of vehicles in front of him was in sight. Security measures for that overpriced wedding gala dinner shit everybody was trash talking about perhaps ? Great! And while high society was happy in the tower, he was stuck here down in the streets with bored and annoyed people staring at the huge man with sunglasses and his somewhat rusty, yet no less trusty bike. Hopefully some of those who caused them here to endure as this would end up in h...

The explosion was bright enough to make Balthazar squint even through the sunglasses. He could hear some car radios around him suddenly emitting nothing but static through the open windows and people pushed their heads forward to see upwards through the front window of their vehicles.

Maybe the buffet had been a little too spicy, causing the crowd of guests to fart all over the place until somebody felt the urge to smoke before air conditioning and ventilation had had a chance to intervene ?

Balthazar's hand rushed towards the ignition key as it dawned upon him that now was the time to think about something else. Power went out in a lot of buildings around him, but there was still enough light in the air high above to see the myriad of glass shards and the many bits of shattered aluminum framework on their ballistic ways to the ground deep below. Hidden for the lack of reflectivity were probably a lot of heavy concrete blocks and that was one hell of a reason for concern.

"Sorry!" the demon apologized very unceremoneously as he happened to ram and shear off the right side mirror of a passenger car. Others started to grasp the same issue he had figured out as well and, without having the same amount of maneuverability as he had on just two wheels, rushed out of their vehicles to find shelter quickly. It was a mess developing in mere seconds and Balthazar's own escape was a breaking move through the boom gate of an underground parking lot. The sound of shattering and solid impacts gave all the positive feedback he needed to think this had been perfectly justified. Wasn't that even some bloody torso that just happened to smash onto the hot asphalt ?

Among all the debris and screaming people, something else found its way to the entrance of the lot. It bounded of the ground, then rolled down the gentle slope until it stopped almost in front of Balthazar's feet. A small metal sphere with carvings on it he couldn't identify. It somehow didn't look like any ordinary piece of decoration, but in any case fancy enough for the demon to just pick it up and stuff into his jacket. Maybe that could be sold somewhere ?

Anyway, he needed to get out before the entire city block would be bristling with police and other emergency services.

Valthyr


Location: The hot springs



Valthyr managed to catch the large cloak so haphazardly that the piece of fur almost ended up slamming into his face. Well it... smelled a little bit maybe, but not only was that a pretty far cry away from the noble's claims about how filthy it would be, but also any potential degree of disgust it could have ever hoped to invoke just had no space left in the druid's mind at the moment.

He was profoundly pissed off. What did this ignorant opposite of a bootlicker -- the latter was eager to make people like him, not hate him as much as humanly possible -- even think ? That anybody here would dare to try and fulfill the role he thought they all had to bear ? That they'd kneel in front of him, not kiss his feet because of their dirty lips, and apologise all day for their mere existence ?

Valthyr stepped over slowly towards the mountainous man named Ivor and spoke in a raher low tone. "Apologies in advance. I originally came here because I wanted to talk to you about a small tree job for a new chair for Sya, but... He let go of a sigh that made his breast heave. "I stumbled upon this Ayel guy yesterday already and it wasn't pleasant. Now I am going to teach him how to have a miserable day." The druid handed over the cloak, then started to stare down Ayel the best he could while also approaching. It was only the very edge of the pool that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Alright, self-proclaimed pinnacle of the world. Do you think that Aelios her very self created you or how to interpret your overflowing arrogance ? Well if so, than I'll happily throw whatever kind of silly prophecy there is around in the wind as Aelios just being ashamed of her wayward spawn is just so much better of an explanation for anybody disappearing!"

Valthyr bent down to undo his organic shoes. The dense network of leaves and thin, flexible branches released its grip around his skin after a short, soft touch and he could wiggle his feet out of the few stubborn remainders easily. He had to resist the temptation to just launch them at Ayel's pampered face however.

"More reasonable than that theory however is that you are just a very exquisite Aurelian dipshit, but please don't take my mention of the kingdom's name as an offensive. You'd be just as much of a disgrace to Lunaris or an empire of maggots living on the moon."

Valthyr now removed the thin cord that served as a belt to hold his trousers in place.

"I think I've already put up the thought yesterday, but are you sure that all that cream and perfume you obviously apply doesn't contain some poisonous ingredients ? Like something that does more subtle long-term damage ? Again that's just a more plausible explanation that imagining not one, but two parents who are at the absolute limit of incompentency."

Now all that was left was the thin shirt to almost rip off and dump onto the humble pile on the ground.

"Feast upon my peasant's skin in all its magnificence, my lord! Or are you gonna yell for the servant not only bringing a towel, but also a knife so you can finally put an end to your eyesight and not have to endure our sight anymore ? Think about the blessing just the slightest bit of your very purest, most noble blood would be in this pool for everybody less fortunate, more humble underling coming in! This would be your temple!"

Valthyr cast a brief glance back at the others. He didn't even know all of their names yet let alone anything about their personalities, but given the barrage of insults that had been delivered at them he felt quite confident in his assumption that they would not stop him when he would try to get this proverbial elephant out of the room.

"I'm sure there's a towel in your residence, Ayel. If you like, you can also run to your bestest friend and I will happily report what you have done here. In any case you will lift your fancy ass out of the water and disappear from this place."

The last few words already had a slightly different sound to them. Valthyr's lungs and overall breathing apparatus were already in the process of realignment as he now concentrated on turning into the wolf. The last thing he could say was a half gurgled "You have half a minute to comply!"

It would be fun to watch the arrogant sloth run through town crying for servants that would never come. Not that he had any plans on leaving the hot springs as there were guards outside who could mistake the situation, but Valthyr counted on the fear of and the sheer amount of wet dog smell his alter ego would take on once he'd join Ayel in the water. Because... what was even a lot worse than dirty peasant skin ? Dirty peasant fur! Hadn't Ayel just demonstrated this by declining that cloak so thoroughly ? He'd hug the noble like a hugely oversized, happy pet wolf if needed. Maybe even lick him in a place that wasn't overburdened with wicked cream and shit ?
Hmmm, which mythology should I take inspo from...


The Poothology, of course. Basically, create your own!
Valthyr

Location: The Hot Springs
Interacting with: Ayel Raunefeldt (@Dezuel), Ivor (@Beard Dad)



Not knowing whether the this first location of his choice was the right one on his search, Valthyr was in anything but a hurry to reach his destination. There was enough time to listen to his own footsteps carving yet another path through the snow as if that one stood any chance of survival against the steady stream of icy reinforcements descending from dark skies above so relentlessly. There also was ample opportunity to ponder about whether he himself should take a bath -- a real one, not just a quick dip into the water.

However, the one puzzle far more difficult than all the others was whether there was any etiquette to follow. He had only seen the springs once upon his arrival and only so from a raven's perspective, but he remembered the sight of an adjacent building clearly standing out. Was that some sort of temple ? If common Lunarian customs happened to be quite dislocated from the center of his knowledge, then any memory about what might be appropriate and what not in a holy place of Aurelia was practically nonexistent.

He didn't even really know whether he was inadvertently approaching a temple after all and if so, which kingdom i...

[...] You constipated walrus! I've seen more charismatic rocks! [...]

A question just rendered completely irrelevant. Valthyr even felt some sort of relief inside him as he instantly knew that whatever kind of etiquette might have been appropriate at the place he was going to, it had just been shattered and broken most profoundly by someone else already. No need for himself to even try and ride a horse that was already dead anymore.

As much as he felt delighted about the signal just received, he didn't like its carrier wave. It was rough around the edges from just how much its sender had pushed his breathing apparatus for the transmission, but the characteristic was quite unmistakable still: the condensed lump of arrogance was looming ahead and it seemed more aggravated about the presence of 'peasants' than ever.

The druid's steps sped up ever so slightly without him really noticing. A sense of joy started to engulf his mindset as he hastened his approach towards what already was a verbal disaster zone. It was a somewhat irrational idea if one considered things calmly, as if pouring oil into an already raging fire hoping that it would cease burning because of overheating. Yet that was what Valthyr hoped for. Whatever was irritating this Ayel guy so much, his own presence would just double it. He wanted the man who had behaved in such an outrageous manner the day before to boil over, to completely lose control and suffer from his very own rage.

And then Valthyr meandered around the last corner blocking his line of vision towards the scene and he crawled to an almost complete stop. Was... was this Ivor ? He could only see the giant from behind, but that was quite impressive enough even though the difference in height between the two men wasn't really there. The druid's eyes also spotted the axe in hand. It didn't look as if the giant was about to attack anything, but why had he decided to draw such a sharp tool in the first place then ? Water couldn't be chopped up, could it ? Even if it was hot enough to steam in the frigid air.

A pair of naked feet barely protruded into the corner of the druid's now very focused field of vision and after a few more moments spent on Ivor's presence, he found the time to backtrack further along the legs attached to them. Was it impressive what he saw ? Not really. He could just hope that the petty man had made an effort of undoing all the perfume and creams plastered on his fragile skin before jumping into the water or everybody after him would come out more dirty than previously.

"Is there a problem ?" He addressed the noble as calmy as he could fake it, then granted Ivor a nod as a humble greeting. Valthyr did keep some distance between the two just in case for he had no clue about how the bear would react. He noticed the tattered remains of what had once been Ayel's precious clothes, but had not yet put together all the pieces in his mind.
Tentatively interested.
Valthyr

Location: On the streets of Dawnhaven, slowly on the way towards the hot springs
Mentions: Desmond @Theyra, Ivor @Beard Dad, Sya @PrinceAlexus



That had been a refreshing change! No superfluous nobles to be seen anywhere and more discipline in spite of none of the participants nominally be a soldier, quite contrary what had happened the evening before.

Valthyr held the two liquor bottles in his hand, half-absentmindedly weighing their potentially hefty content. It probably had enough alcohol for it not to freeze even if left standing outside in the next blizzard that might haunt this place, but that fact only reminded him to remain cautious. Moonshine... the name invoked an utter void in his memory, the decision not to talk to anybody about his educational gap in terms of Lunarian culture being a quick one to make. Or was this a local brew, or maybe one that could only be made since these special stellar circumstances had come into existence ?

He would open the first of the bottles later. The risk of just a gentle sip already tipping him over was manageable he deemed, given his rather hulking size, but there was the matter of discipline again: Accelerating one of the most intrinsic and yet ubiquitous processes of nature, the one of growth, was a matter that was performed best with the clearest and most well rested of minds. He needed to attend to his future house for a short while longer until he could leave it to its own devices for a good night's sleep or so.

Also, what would Desmond say if he'd arrive at the merchant's home to accept the generosity of having a room there while already bearing the scent of a drunkard ? No no, he would keep the liquor with him untouched until later this evening. Maybe Desmond would be happy to have a drink with him together ? Then at least, if things came to worst, they'd have an enjoyable team effort at sprinkling the floor with reverse produce before having a headache some time later.

As Valthyr guided his steps towards the pompous residence of Flynn's self-declared bestest friend, he once more realized in just how much of a dire need the place was for some compensation for that unbearable building. A few days tops he figured, then things would have improved a lot! He only needed to make sure he wouldn't end up living in the epicentre of the residence's exhaust. No matter whether that dipshit burned diamonds to heat his place, smoke was still smoke.

The runes he had started were still there, albeit covered in a fresh layer of snow he had to remove again carefully in order to know where exactly he had left off. As he continued drawing, nothing seemed to happen. Just intricate lines carved into the dirt, seemingly fragile and almost random in direction and width. Yet Valthyr knew better, he could feel that the process already started to focus the lingering energy of its surroundings. The winter was cold, but it was not that cold for that not to work anymore. It was invisible still, but that would change in a couple of hours and not only due to a common seed budding way too fast.

Hopefully the condensed lump of arrogance wouldn't come around and trample it while it was still small and fragile. Valthyr hoped for more snow to fall at the thought as that would act as a protective layer in terms of both warmth and sight.

The druid wanted to stick to the promise he had made: manufacture a new chair for the lamia named Sya. He needed to find the man named Ivor, but where to start ? Should he turn raven and have an easy time watching the streets from above or should he stay human and try his chances with talking to random individuals ?

Random individuals it was. Hadn't everything begun at some lovely hot springs he had dipped his bird head in ? Maybe that was a good place to start.
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