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@ViolentViolet
If you're even remotely self aware you know that her moral stance isn't the problem. If you're willing to work on it and actually accept some criticism(though I know I haven't been kind about it) then by all means stay. But if you're going to stand by your character, then yeah, leave.
If you're even remotely self aware you know that her moral stance isn't the problem. If you're willing to work on it and actually accept some criticism(though I know I haven't been kind about it) then by all means stay. But if you're going to stand by your character, then yeah, leave.
If VV edits, I will. But otherwise, yes, I'm sure.
Murtaugh only ever gave into Galbatorix's indoctrination when Thorn's egg hatched. He said himself that that was his doom, because the love he had for his dragon overwhelmed everything else in him. His self preservation, his love for his brother, his desire to do the right thing, all of them fell by the wayside in favor of his dragon when he was in danger.
This is the same. Z poses a threat to Ashwing when she's most vulnerable, this(in conjunction with Ashwing's own aggression towards her) coaxes Alph into action.
It doesn't help that Zyloria literally aims the sword for him either. What a strange thing to do.
Murtaugh only ever gave into Galbatorix's indoctrination when Thorn's egg hatched. He said himself that that was his doom, because the love he had for his dragon overwhelmed everything else in him. His self preservation, his love for his brother, his desire to do the right thing, all of them fell by the wayside in favor of his dragon when he was in danger.
This is the same. Z poses a threat to Ashwing when she's most vulnerable, this(in conjunction with Ashwing's own aggression towards her) coaxes Alph into action.
It doesn't help that Zyloria literally aims the sword for him either. What a strange thing to do.
Alph kept the blade pointed toward her until she let it press against her. He was grappling with not only his won feelings, but those of his dragon as well. He could keep calm in the face of a threat, but Ashwing didn't have that knack, and all he felt was fear-filled aggression from her.
When the red headed girl reached for her own sword, the anger came from his own mind as well, and he was overwhelmed with it. He almost plunged the blade in, but at the last second she moved her hand away, touching the egg instead, and his own stance relaxed some.
Alph took the last steps down the stairs, but kept his sword out. He didn't trust her, not after she took an egg, and not with an unknown threat lurking. But then, she had been in the village since they were both small, and unlike Alph she hadn't left for any extended period of time. How could she have created the mess they had found in town?
When he spoke up again after the tense moment, his voice cracked on the first few words. "She's right, actually. We don't have time. Not to argue and not for anything else. Three people have been murdered in town. By magic. The family who lived in the big house," he added, with a reassuring look to Gale who still had family in Mashal.
When the red headed girl reached for her own sword, the anger came from his own mind as well, and he was overwhelmed with it. He almost plunged the blade in, but at the last second she moved her hand away, touching the egg instead, and his own stance relaxed some.
Alph took the last steps down the stairs, but kept his sword out. He didn't trust her, not after she took an egg, and not with an unknown threat lurking. But then, she had been in the village since they were both small, and unlike Alph she hadn't left for any extended period of time. How could she have created the mess they had found in town?
When he spoke up again after the tense moment, his voice cracked on the first few words. "She's right, actually. We don't have time. Not to argue and not for anything else. Three people have been murdered in town. By magic. The family who lived in the big house," he added, with a reassuring look to Gale who still had family in Mashal.
@ViolentViolet
Okay, honesty time.
Your character has been mildly irritating me this entire time, and she just tipped the scales to pissing me off.
There's no reason for anything she does or has. Every one of our characters make sense, but she doesn't.
Demund is a smith, because he's the son of a smith. His interest in swords is from a metal working standpoint, as opposed to Alphonse who mostly cares about them from a misguided chivalrous point of view.
Galen is the son of a woodworker, he carries an axe because he's often sent to acquire wood. He knows herbology and general woodsmanship from his parents as well.
Gren is an urchin, his skills and general rough and tumbleness come from necessity surviving in the wilderness.
Alphonse is a well traveled bard, he's quick witted and sharp eyed and knows how to ride and survive on the road. He has a sword because he needs to protect himself during his travels, though the only fights he's ever been in are tavern brawls. He's more for posturing and looking tough and talking his way out of things.
Zyloria has throwing knives and a short sword... because she thinks they're cool? Where did she get it, why does she have it, who taught her how to use it? Why is she so calm in the face of literally every other person in the room being an enemy?
Oh, and you're making assumptions about my character's stance? What? His ability to project confidence to avoid fights is literally a part of his character, I wrote it into his bio.
Everyone else is writing interesting and realistic characters, but you've got a serious case of main-character-itis going on and you need to check yourself.
Okay, honesty time.
Your character has been mildly irritating me this entire time, and she just tipped the scales to pissing me off.
There's no reason for anything she does or has. Every one of our characters make sense, but she doesn't.
Demund is a smith, because he's the son of a smith. His interest in swords is from a metal working standpoint, as opposed to Alphonse who mostly cares about them from a misguided chivalrous point of view.
Galen is the son of a woodworker, he carries an axe because he's often sent to acquire wood. He knows herbology and general woodsmanship from his parents as well.
Gren is an urchin, his skills and general rough and tumbleness come from necessity surviving in the wilderness.
Alphonse is a well traveled bard, he's quick witted and sharp eyed and knows how to ride and survive on the road. He has a sword because he needs to protect himself during his travels, though the only fights he's ever been in are tavern brawls. He's more for posturing and looking tough and talking his way out of things.
Zyloria has throwing knives and a short sword... because she thinks they're cool? Where did she get it, why does she have it, who taught her how to use it? Why is she so calm in the face of literally every other person in the room being an enemy?
Oh, and you're making assumptions about my character's stance? What? His ability to project confidence to avoid fights is literally a part of his character, I wrote it into his bio.
Everyone else is writing interesting and realistic characters, but you've got a serious case of main-character-itis going on and you need to check yourself.
I'm going to officially drop out of this, actually. I've just lost interest, a lot is going on and it just feels like a chore to keep up.
Alph put his heels into the horse's flanks, hard, and the two of them sped off as fast as she could carry them. She was no charger or destrier, but she was fast enough on the half decent road that Mashal had, and in a matter of minutes they were crossing the bridge again. He had to slow down shortly after the bridge, to guide the horse safely down the hill and across the flooded valley. It was about midday when he lashed the tired beast to a nearby tree and went back inside after a quick look around to make sure no one was approaching.
"OVER MY DEAD BODY, EGGTHIEF!"
The thought threw Alph into action before he had properly digested it. The emotions, the anger and the fear, coming to him from his dragon spurred him on faster than anything else could have. He was drawing his sword on his way down the stone stairs, but he stopped short just behind one of the other dragons(he didn't recall which one).
He hadn't expected someone to already be here, but even more he didn't expect to recognize the threat. She was a local, the one with the strange name. Zyloria. He didn't know what the situation was, but Ashwing was accusing her of theft.
"Aye," he said aloud, standing a few steps up with his sword held ready, "I would put that down."
"OVER MY DEAD BODY, EGGTHIEF!"
The thought threw Alph into action before he had properly digested it. The emotions, the anger and the fear, coming to him from his dragon spurred him on faster than anything else could have. He was drawing his sword on his way down the stone stairs, but he stopped short just behind one of the other dragons(he didn't recall which one).
He hadn't expected someone to already be here, but even more he didn't expect to recognize the threat. She was a local, the one with the strange name. Zyloria. He didn't know what the situation was, but Ashwing was accusing her of theft.
"Aye," he said aloud, standing a few steps up with his sword held ready, "I would put that down."
Calm down.
Alphonse converged on Demund on the main road, as both of them walked toward the smoke. They looked at each other, but didn't say anything. Alph noted that the both of them were armed now. He knew that Dem was interested in learning to make swords, and thought that this was perhaps a secret project of his. It certainly looked new.
The two slowed to a stop some five yards away from the source of the smoke. Alph for one didn't feel the need to get any closer to the still smoldering ruins of what had been three of the townspeople. He pulled his undertunic out from under the leather jerkin he wore and covered his mouth and nose with it. Looking past the bodies, he saw that their house had been ransacked as well, someone had been looking for something, and apparently weren't happy that they had failed to find it. The eggs? Alphonse couldn't think of anything else worth having, or worth killing for, in Mashal. It seemed a staggering coincidence, but at the same time, it wasn't particularly likely that all four of them had eggs hatch for them.
"Dem," Alph said, looking at the younger boy. "We need to get back, and fast." He put a foot in the stirrup and mounted his horse, then held a hand down for Demund. "Get up and hold on tight." The horse was old and well traveled, but they didn't have far to go, and neither of them were particularly heavy either.
The two slowed to a stop some five yards away from the source of the smoke. Alph for one didn't feel the need to get any closer to the still smoldering ruins of what had been three of the townspeople. He pulled his undertunic out from under the leather jerkin he wore and covered his mouth and nose with it. Looking past the bodies, he saw that their house had been ransacked as well, someone had been looking for something, and apparently weren't happy that they had failed to find it. The eggs? Alphonse couldn't think of anything else worth having, or worth killing for, in Mashal. It seemed a staggering coincidence, but at the same time, it wasn't particularly likely that all four of them had eggs hatch for them.
"Dem," Alph said, looking at the younger boy. "We need to get back, and fast." He put a foot in the stirrup and mounted his horse, then held a hand down for Demund. "Get up and hold on tight." The horse was old and well traveled, but they didn't have far to go, and neither of them were particularly heavy either.
Trouble is they require special metal, and we only know of one source in the whole world, and Eragon uses it.
But there are other kinds of magic weapons, and other materials.
EDIT: And prepare for a bite from Ashwing, I imagine.
But there are other kinds of magic weapons, and other materials.
EDIT: And prepare for a bite from Ashwing, I imagine.
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