Hokum

A Goat Named Jed

5

All those remaining outside stayed where they were. They all kept their eyes on the Dragon, all except the horse who continued to think that looking away from the little beast was a better idea.

One of the two young men that had been walking down from the end of town, shrugged at Torn, as though he had no idea what to do. Torn pulled a face in response to suggest that he didn’t have an answer. He wasn’t an expert on Chilli behaviour. No one was, really. Everyone stayed where they were. They regarded the Chilli, they regarded each other. They were all too afraid to move.

The Chilli, however, didn’t seem to care. Once Amber and Jack had retreated indoors, it lost interest in everything else but itself. It started to nibble at an itchy spot beneath its wing. Maybe a flea.

‘Hm.’ Torn noticed this behaviour, and looked back over his shoulder at his wife standing on the porch. ‘Go back inside.’ He told her, keeping his voice at its standard tempo. Believing in her husband, she gave a nod, turned slowly, and went back inside their house.

The Chilli continued to groom itself, paying no mind to what Torn said, or the fact that his wife had gone back inside.

Everyone else watched Torn, to see what he would do next.

But he didn’t do anything next. Instead, the guard made the next move, and accordingly, everyone’s attention went to him. Somehow, for whatever reason, the guard - previously too scared to get closer than 30 feet from the chilli - had now decided it was his lawful duty to do something about this situation. The hefty man was walking up the road as if walking a tightrope, one foot carefully in front of the other, and his sword held at the ready in front of him, as if to help him keep balance. He stopped beside Torn, lowered his sword just a little.

‘Go back home,’ said the guard, ‘I will deal with this.’ He then looked around at everyone else, all of them still standing and staring apprehensively at him. ‘Everyone go home!’ He demanded. ‘I’ll take care of this. Nothing to see here.’

The Chilli didn’t seem to mind that the guard was getting closer, didn’t seem to mind that the guard had raised his voice to tell everyone to go home, either, the little creature continued to groom itself, now licking contently at a particular spot beneath one raised wing.

Nobody moved, though. They didn’t give a shit what the guard had told them. They all just looked at him as though he was an idiot.

‘Are you sure that’s wise?’ Torn asked the guard. ‘You are one man. Best that we all just walk away, one by one, including you.’

‘Nay….’ The guard narrowed his stare on the dragon as he replied to Torn, ‘It is my duty to protect Greenfalls. The threat must be removed.’

‘This is not a good time to play hero.’ Torn told him. ‘Turn around. Go back to your post. The creature only appears to care about the visitor, Jack. We should be safe enough for now. No reason to test fate.’

The guard ignored this and lifted his sword again as he continued to slowly approach the Chilli.

‘Are you joking?’ Torn said, looking at the guard as if he had lost his mind. He then turned to the children and told them to run along home. The kids complied without question or hesitation. He then glanced around at everyone else, and told them to leave as well. Everyone listened to Torn, retreating the way they had come. Even Theolan stepped backwards through the doors of the Inn, but not fully. He remained in the threshold, doors open, wanting to watch the show.

‘Have it your way,’ Torn said to the guard, and turned to walk away as well.

A Goat Named Jed

4

Torn had raised one finger to his mouth to ensure the kids remained quiet and didn’t move. The obeyed.

Everyone was still again.

The guard, at the bridge entrance to town, caught wind of current events and decided, after all, that there was finally a reason to draw his sword; now holding the weapon in both hands, but coming no closer than a very cautious 30 feet or so from the miniature dragon. Torn’s wife had appeared, on the Blacksmith shop porch, also now watching on from a distance, her hands clasped nervously in front of her. Theolan had also stepped out from the Inn about the same time Torn’s wife made her appearance. He just stood there too, blocking the doorway to the Inn, his jaw angled strenuously to one side, eyes wide with careful discernment - He went to say something, but then thought better of it. Meanwhile, two more townsfolk who had been making their way down from the end of town - be them two young men - had also caught wind of the situation. They stopped still to watch on eagerly about 20 feet from Amber, Jack and the Chilli. There was also the horse-drawn carriage, parked along the road several feet from the end of Amber's property, the black-and-white horse of which was acting rather nervous with its head down, eyes turned away from the Chilli’s direction, its front left hoof toeing the dirt in a timid manner.

Now that the kids had been stilled, and the growing number of silent spectators had accumulated, the Chilli - very slowly - shifted its attention back to Jack and Amber, but mostly Jack.

In order to relieve a little stress, Jack cussed a few words under his breath as Amber proceeded up the next step to her porch. At this point, their casual manner had been completely dispelled. Both of them were moving rigidly. Nothing cool or smooth about their behaviour at all.

They managed to reach the landing of the porch, though, where Amber finally remembered to breathe. She took two more steps towards the door, opened it, and slipped inside the shop. Jack turned his head, giving the Chilly a small speculative glance before following in after Amber.

The Chilli’s feathers ruffled, her scales stood on end, as she watched the pair disappear into the house.

A Goat Named Jed

3

Jack and Amber stayed close, while walking slow and as casual as they could pretend, across the remaining distance of the road towards Amber’s porch. Torn watched on, his one eye squinting pensively, arms still folded.

Jack was feeling a little silly. Seemed odd to be so cautious over such a small animal. After all, how much damage could it do, really? When the Chilli attacked him earlier Jack had been given a serious run for his money, but still. Relativity had some say in this. Physical size did mean something, he was sure.

The first step of Amber’s porch creaked under her weight. It creaked even louder under Jack. The Chilli, now less than two meters from their position, remaining perched on the porch railing, straightened its body some, attentive, cocked its head, eyes opening a little to peer at them inquisitively. The little beast paid special attention to Jack.

‘Just keep going…’ Amber whispered gently.

‘I know,’ said Jack.

It was then that the two children Jack had met earlier came running around the corner next to Amber’s house. Laughing and hollering about the new game they were playing. The two kids were quickly stopped when they saw Torn standing in their way. The man’s mountainous presence certainly commanded attention, and it was obviously unusual to see him standing seemingly idle on the road away from his shop at this time of day. It took the kids all of a few seconds for them to notice what had gripped his attention.

The young boy went pale at the sight of the Chilly.

The girl let out a sharp squeal-like gasp.

The sudden commotion caused Jack and Amber to freeze.

The Chilli shifted on it perch – sharply turning its head toward the kids.

A Goat Named Jed

2

‘Looks like you’ve made a friend.’ Said Torn, though it sounded like he may have been half joking, turning his one eye to peer at Jack.

‘Looks that way…’ Jack agreed, though he still didn’t know why.

The Chilli, which looked identical to the one Jack had encountered earlier in the woods, was perched on the railing on Amber’s front porch. It appeared to be rather comfortable, body crumpled down like an accordion, feathers and scales puffed, eyes heavy like it was about to drift off to sleep at any moment.

‘What did you do to her?’ Amber asked.

‘What do you mean what did I do to it?’

Torn chuckled softly.

‘I mean,’ said Amber, ‘a Chilli following a human is so rare it is almost a myth. And the only time they are said to do so is because the human has done something that the Chilli must think is worth becoming submissive to.’

Amber and Torn were keeping their voices low, Jack figured he better do the same. He said;

‘But why are you so certain it is following me. It looks like it’s just stopped to have a sleep.’

‘She is waiting for you,’ Amber said, ‘at a place where your scent probably lingers the freshest.’

‘She, then,' said Jack, 'but how do you know she's here because she is following me?’

Torn said, ‘Because she is here.’

‘That’s right.’ Amber agreed.

‘What?’ Jack was a tad confused.

‘Chilli’s next to never come near human civilisation,’ Amber explained, ‘the fact that she is here at all speaks volumes. This is… it’s a momentous occasion. Unbelievable, actually. I never thought I’d see this.’

‘Agreed,’ said Torn.

‘So what do we do then?’ Jack had to ask, ‘What does she want? What will she do?’

‘We don’t react surprised.’ Amber said. ‘We keep calm. We carry on as if she isn’t there. We go into my shop. We walk casually, like nothing is wrong. And we see what she does.’

‘Good plan,’ Torn approved, with a stern nod of his head, and remained standing on the road to watch pensively. 'May the divine ones grant you luck with that.'

A Goat Named Jed

1

‘Oh no…’ Amber stopped in her tracks half way across the road from the tavern to her house. She lifted one hand to the side to stop Jack going any further as well.

Jack had already stopped, though, when she had. And saw the same thing she had seen, the thing that made her stop.

‘Oh no…’ he agreed, but added, ‘what does this mean?’

To their right, also standing in the middle of the road, was Torn. He had his arms folded, brutish face actually looking thoughtful with just a sliver of furrowing across his brow. He had obviously been lured away from the work at his shop to take a better look at what all three of them were now gawking at. A Chilli.

‘No sudden moves,’ whispered Amber to Jack, ‘just calm and easy, natural movements.’

‘Okay….’ He relied. ‘But why is it here?’

She told him, ‘That is actually the bigger problem.’

A Goat Named Jed

Part 5

A Dragon

A Goat Named Jed

12

After an uncomfortably long period of Theolan receiving no answer to his question, he decided to persist with further enquiries. Directing his first to Jack.

‘Soon after I left you by the side of the road, I did hear a rather large blast-like sound. It did come from roughly your location. At first I thought it was a call of a Huntstan, perhaps, though it did not take me long to think better of it. Although it has happened before, it is ever doubtful a Huntstan should be wondering these part. May I ask what the sound was, do you know, Mr. Jack?’

Jack appeared a little bored, a result of his mild disdain for the man. He slightly shrugged one shoulder and replied. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Very well.’ Said Theolan, turning his prying glare toward Amber. ‘And how about you, my dear lady? Did you hear the sound I speak of?’

Amber had heard it, yes, while taking a bath earlier. But she somehow didn’t feel right in that moment telling Theolan about it. More than anything, like Jack, she just wasn’t appreciating his self-important presence.

She said, ‘I didn’t hear anything, either.’

‘Intriguing,’ said Theolan, ‘because as it happens I have already taken the liberty of asking a few others in town if they had heard the noise, all of whom had indeed heard it. Seems odd that neither of you did.’

‘Intriguing, sure.’ Jack said, voice flat, a note of mockery.

‘Were the two of you acquainted before today?’ Asked Theolan, looking to Jack, then to Amber. ‘Previously friended? Lovers, perhaps?’

Amber snorted.

Jack chuckled.

‘Excuse me?’ said Amber, ‘I don’t see how that is any of your business, stranger.’

Jack’s body continued to jiggle a little, quietly chuckling.

‘I mean no disrespect, naturally.’ Theolan sipped his drink. ‘Despite Jack’s obvious need for attention and his general lack of attractive qualities, I did not find it too farfetched to consider the prospect of intercourse with the opposite sex. Possibly.’ He paused to look Amber up and down, slowly, undressing her with his eyes. ‘Love making, after all, is perfectly natural. Is it not?‘ He smiled something wet and unpleasant and sleazy, and then introduced himself to her, apparently still in love with the sound of his own name. ‘My name is Theolan, Sir Mallicone Starlip Theolan. And you might be, pretty lady?’

That was it for Amber. She was already put off by Theolan inviting himself to their table. Rude still was the unneeded insult to Jack. And now Theolan was quickly turning into a pompous sleaze. She stood from her chair without answering his question, and gave Jack a soft jerk of her head to suggest they should leave.

‘We were just about to leave,’ she told Theolan, ‘enjoy your trip to wherever it is you’re going.’

Jack smiled, still a little humoured by the whole event – not insulted by Theolan’s remark - and raised from his seat as well. He took the bag from the table and slung it over his shoulder. He followed Amber out the door.

Theolan watched them leave, saying no more.

A Goat Named Jed

11

Before Theolan arrived, the bag was zipped closed with gun hidden inside. Jack and Amber sat back in their seats, casually pretending nothing was a matter. Theolan stood by the table, looking down his nose at them both, apparently awaiting an invitation to join them.

‘Welcome to Greenfalls.’ Said Amber.

Theolan nodded his greeting, looked at Jack.

‘Can we help you?’ Jack asked.

Theolan raised one brow conceitedly. ‘Hardly,’ he said, ‘was simply wondering if you wished to share in a drink.’ He looked at one of the vacant chairs at the table. He looked at Jack, at Amber, wondering when they were going to do the courteous thing and invite him to sit. After a little while the look on his face suggested he was starting to feel embarrassed for standing there so long without invitation. ‘I see you made it to town safely, then.’ He said to Jack.

‘Yeah, you noticed,’ Jack replied, looking down at himself before regarded Theolan with an exasperated look, ‘And for the love of god, just sit down if you want to sit down so badly.’

Theolan pretended returned courtesy with a nod and took a seat. His skinny butt wriggled as he settled in the chair. He pulled a drink from his cup, then set it on the table. He regarded them both, then regarded the duffle back, which was still on the table.

‘So….’ Theolan requested in an assuming tone, ‘…what may be the topic of conversation?’

Jack and Amber looked at each other. Amused grins.

A Goat Named Jed

10

Amber, less apprehensive than she was letting on, decided to stay and see what Jack had to show her. She couldn’t very well not give in to her curiosities, after all.

His duffel bag was taken from the floor, now placed on the table between them. Amber possibly displayed more intrigue for the zip function of the duffel bag than she would for its actual contents. Bag open, Jack tapped his finger on the handgun sitting on top of the other items inside.

She shrugged. ‘What is it?’

He stayed quiet a beat, thinking he didn’t know why he was expecting more of a reaction from her.

‘It’s a futuristic weapon.’ He told her.

‘What’s it called?’

‘It’s a gun.’

‘It is well crafted steel, I’ll say that much,’ She squinted and looked the weapon over like she were analysing a peculiar species of rodent. ‘Never seen that sort of design before. Somebody knew what they were doing. But that doesn’t mean it’s from the future. Torn could maybe craft something like that if given enough time.’

‘You make it sound easier than it actually would be -’ said Jack, ‘it isn’t actually steel, to start with. This particular weapon is crafted largely of a special advanced material we call polymer. But I can see how you might think it is some type of unique steel. And it isn't just fancy workmanship, either. Everything has to be of exacting measurements, not the slightest bit out.’

She considered this.

‘Okay, I’ll entertain you,’ she said, ‘Why are you showing me?’

‘Because this is why I came to see you. I want you to make a holster for me. It’s like a sheath for a knife or sword, only to hold a gun.’

She queered at him thoughtfully and then reached in the bag for the gun, wanting a better look. As her hand grabbed the gun he quickly grabbed her wrist again to stop her. His eyes darted to the bar where Theolan had taken a break from drinking to look over his shoulder at the pair. His own curiosity was peaking. He had been glancing over at them and attempting to listen in on their conversation since Amber arrived. The pompous man now looked like curiosity was going to get the better of him. And it did. As Amber looked over at Theolan to see why Jack had stopped her, she saw Theolan rise from his stool, drink in hand, and started walking towards their table.

A Goat Named Jed

9

Jack answered, ‘Space.’

She queered at him. ‘Space?’ She looked around as if to analyse the air surrounding them. ‘Is that some sort of clever remark about the air surrounding us all? Or… is space actually the name of the place you are from?’

Jack considered this for a moment before replying. ‘I see “space” holds an entirely different connotation for you than it does for me.’ He reconsidered his answer, and said, ‘I was born and raised in a place called Bundaberg.’

‘And where is Bundaberg?’ She narrowed her eyes.

‘On another world. In a future Era.’

Amber played with this thought for a while, eyes jittered left and right as if speed reading an invisible scroll. Jack stared flatly at her, observing, watching the subtle expressions of her face change with the progress of her thought process. In the end her eyes widened, partly quizzical, partly angry.

‘And what might this other world be called?’ She asked him. Her tone was impatient, irritated, patronising, like she were addressing a child with an overactive imagination and couldn’t shut up about it.

‘Earth.’ He said, continuing to stare at her soberly.

The legs of Amber's chair scraped across the ground as she pushed away from the table to stand up and leave.

‘So you did know I was lying.’ She concluded with a shake of her head. ‘Why didn’t you just say so?’ She thought a little more about it. ‘You know what, I’ve suddenly got a bad feeling about you, and I really don’t see why telling me where you are from is such a big problem for you. What could it hurt? Looks like we can’t trust each other then, huh? You eccentric type are all the same.’

She started to push up from her seat to leave. He reached quickly across the table and grabbed her by the wrist.

‘No,’ he said, glaring at her with all seriousness, ‘let me show you I’m telling the truth. He paused to release her wrist, and added, ‘I need someone here to know who and what I am. I trust you….’