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3 yrs ago
Current A Perpetual Motion Engine of Anxiety and Self-Loathing

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So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

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Marc had finished the food and abandoned the tray somewhere around the immense mansion and was making his way down a hallway. After eating he’d received a note left on his bed, requesting he wear a full three-piece suit that was laid out for him on his bed by Samuels and meet him in the sitting room as his employer had left correspondence for him. Marc donned the suit fine, his days in the Marine corps had served him well for maintaining crisp presentation when it was called upon him to do so. But the clothes felt very foreign, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, borrowed.

He walked back into the sitting room and saw a folded letter sitting on the mantelpiece, beneath the familiar portrait of the bearded man and his wife. Perhaps this was the letter which had been left for him?

He picked it up and scanned through. No. This wasn’t for him. It was a monthly balance and holdings for the Steven Grant who l--

“Steven Grant. Maa Kheru.” Samuels uttered the words from behind him and they whistled through his ears like the desert sands carried on bitter winds.

Once again his spine straightened. Eyes flickered. And he dropped to the floor in a seizure, his mouth agape.

Just then, as fate would have it, Marlene and Jean Paul were walking past the room to make for the pool. Marlene rushed over once more to tend to Marc and roll him to his side once more.

“C’est pas vrai?!? Again? No more delays, Samuels. You will tell us now! What do you keep doing to him?”

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In a space between places the man in white fell. He landed with a solid bump, despite the desert sands. He was in a perfectly white suit, tailored immaculately as if by the gods themselves. With an all white face as well, marked with a crescent on his forehead that denoted his patron, he was helped up from the sand by a man in desert camouflaged military fatigues, he dusted himself off and adjusted his suit. He began to walk.

The traveller in white walked the cosmic sands with the soldier until they came upon another. One with the head of a jackal took his hand.

And just as Khonshu would assist many in finding their path, the jackal-headed Anubis led the Traveller in the white suit and the Marine to exactly where they needed to be.

There were a set of scales with no marketplace. A ship which sailed the cosmic winds with an audience of deities. A beast. And the scribe.

Anubis walked to the scales and removed the pure white feather of Ma’at. He asked the Traveller in White for a request so politely that he could never refuse, and with permission granted, tore the Traveller’s head off and rested it on one side of the scales where the feather had once been.

Anubis called and Khonshu brought forth what had been requested.

It was a small doll dressed in a three-piece suit. It squirmed between the grasp of both gods’ touch. It ran on moralism and unrealistic conceptual ‘high-minded’ ideals. Highly critical, prone to whine. The Marine scowled. The headless man in white held him in reassurance.

Anubis held the doll at an arm’s distance. Ammut licked her crocodile lips.

Anubis dropped the doll onto the scales, and then set to work adjusting the scales.

The sides reached balance. Thoth nodded his ibis head to the god of death. He picked the head up off of the scales and threw it back to the Traveller in White. The soldier stepped in front and caught the head comfortably. He handed it to the man in white who held his forearm in thanks and gave the “OK” sign with his other hand. Anubis threw the doll to Khonshu who approached his avatar. His chosen one.

The Traveller re-attached his own head. To do otherwise would be impolite in the company of gods. Khonshu approached.

The god of the Moon grabbed the Traveller in White by the back of his head, his head snapped back as he screamed silently. His mouth opened from the god’s shockingly strong grip. The god held the figure above the Traveller’s gaping maw, the instant seemed to last for a minute. The fall seemed to last forever.

Steven Grant felt himself being consumed. He felt himself consume. He once again had form.

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Steven Grant coughed, hacked and rolled onto one knee.

He turned to Samuels and nodded his head.

“In truth, Mr DuChamp. I’m rebuilding your friend’s mind.” The Frenchman and blonde looked at each other in shock.

“And I’m not done yet.”

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Flint drove his dark green BMW from the plaza down to Central with the video running through his mind.

“They’re politicking this.”

The Superintendent himself gave the word on this, so the word was coming from the very top.

Flint furrowed his brow.

Maybe even City Hall.

Flint didn’t like the thought of that. The Superintendent was a role appointed by the Mayor’s office. Was this coming from the top brass down, putting the message in the the mouth of the man at the very top, so it held extra weight? Or was this coming from a Superintendent who was acting as a mouth-piece for the Mayoral office?

Hope said that it was police making police policy.

But Flint wasn’t a terribly hopeful man.

Was Chicago really going to allow itself to be a social experiment for the costumed vigilante justice?

Was this really all it took? A single crazed wild animal cutting a swathe through the city and they’d turn justice over to any wild card?

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"Sorry bro, I left mine in my other personality's pants..."
Oh, and I read Batman Damned, the aforementioned book that features Bruce's Wang.

I actually liked it quite a bit and highly recommend it as something that deals with Batman and the supernatural in freaky-ass ways. Bruce even hallucinates a couple of times in the book, making me feel as though Azzarello's been reading my stuff.

If you read it digitally, you won't even have to be treated to the sight of Bruce's Bat-Pole, as DC censored it out for those not wishing to see a penis in their comics! Huzzah!


Double page splash or GTFO.
Gotta get those scans ready for later in the game


'Having finished at the urinal, I shook it off three times taking my trademark preparation against drips and returned "Robin" to my pants... My parents were unprepared against the wet once and took a detour down an alley to keep out of the rain. Never again.'
So apparently DC's new 'Black Label' imprint is kicking off with a story where you see Batman's wang.

I assume we won't be seeing MB all that much for the next couple of days.


The scheduled season's end makes me think he had the inside track on this months ago...
@Master Bruce: Dicktease-in-Chief.
I love that Marvel's solution for the origin story problem is this:

WRITER 1: People are kind of tired of origin movies.

WRITER 2: Yeah, but Captain Marvel's not a household name, so we've gotta cover it.

WRITER 1: Yeah... oh, I know! What if she's already got her powers, but she has amnesia? That way, we can skip straight to the superhero stuff, but also cover the origin as she recovers her memories!

It's genuinely genius.


This game's Moon Knight:
<Snipped quote by Sep>

Only a Skrull story lets you have your hero punch the shit out of an old lady on the bus.


Or, possibly Hot Fuzz. As Simon Pegg said "Sometimes you've just gotta dropkick Granny in the face."


Lavender soap and jasmine.

Marc woke with her head on his chest, her scent filling his nostrils as the late morning sun shone through the windows making him squint.

“Mmm-mmm.” she mumbled, rolling over to change positions. She opened her eyes and looked at him, a smile growing across her face. She kissed his chest and then rolled back.

Marc rolled out of bed and she flopped onto the bare bed.

“Come back to bed.” Marlene asked him.

He grunted and reached for clothes. He threw on a shirt, underpants and a pair of pants and grabbed his shoes and socks to finish dressing in another room in this house.

Marlene pouted and rolled back into the blankets. He’d got what he wanted. And then he got the sleep he wanted and now he was going. There was no stopping him.

Marc finished tying his shoes just as the cook’s path crossed with his own.

“Good morning, sir. What can I get you this fine morning?”

“Breakfast?”

Nedda chuckled. “Mr Spector, I’m a private cook and housekeeper who lives on site. If I suggested there was ever not a time for anything, I wouldn’t keep this job. Eggs overeasy on country white toast, bacon, mushrooms, British breakfast sausage and beans sound good to you?”

“Good. And no--”

“And no tomato. Yes, sir.”

Nedda left without further comment and Marc got out of his chair. He crossed the floor and looked at the artwork. Quickly becoming bored, he walked out and left for the gymnasium.

Jean Paul intercepted him in the hall on the way.

“Coucou! Ca va, my friend?”

Marc stepped around him and continued on his way, making DuChamp stop in mid-stride and look at his friend out of curiosity. Spector opened a door off the hallway and walked through.

Nedda returned. “Your food should only—oh! Good morning, Mr Duchamp. Have you seen where Mr Spector went?”

“He went down there.” He pointed to the door.

“Ah. He must want his breakfast in the gymnasium. That’s fine. I’ll get a tray prepared.”

Jean Paul furrowed his brow, scrutinizing the development.

“So he asked for food, and then just disappeared without telling you he was going.”

“That’s fine Mr Duchamp.”

“It’s rude. He’s been like this for—“

“It’s fine, Mr Duchamp. I imagine Mr Spector has just been under the weather of late, and has been feeling a little off colour. Perhaps his blood sugar has dropped low. Is there anything I can get you, Mr DuChamp?”

Jean Paul looked on at the older woman’s manner in contemplation.

“No, thank you, Nedda. I’ll be fine until lunch.”

The housekeeper turned on her heels and returned swiftly to the kitchen.

“Prend la tête… You know more than you’re letting on too…” The Frenchman muttered under his breath.

Marc pounded the heavy bag rhythmically. He began wailing on the bag with increasing ferocity. He put a small tear on the left side of the heavy bag and he adjusted his workout accordingly, digging in deep lead hooks into the tear until the bag burst open and spilt its contents onto the floor. He stopped and panted as he watched the grain pour out.

“Your breakfast, sir.” Nedda announced, leaving a tray on a chair by the door.

“And I believe Mr Samuels said he will need to see you once you’ve eaten.”

Spector grunted, as he watched the grains fall.

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“Gentlemen, gentlemen… If I can call you that, despite all evidence to the contrary. There’s still time.”

The Profile stood before the Committee trying to get them all back on the same page.

“How did your damn plan work out, Profile?” Carruthers sneered. “We’re no closer to regaining control of either asset.”

“The plan is working fine. Already Spector has sought out the werewolf. Another night still remains and if it weren’t for the chosen terrain for their first conflict we would have been in a position to retrieve both. We know more than we knew yesterday. Spector took the bait once and he will again. We pool all field resources for tonight and we make sure that we at least regain control of the Werewolf.”

“So did you review the footage of the fight between the two personally, Profile?” Ms Conway asked, leering knowingly.

“Fuck off, Conway.” The Profile responded, shuffling papers as he prepared to leave. No witty retort, perspiration clear to all. He was over this job, and everybody could see the cracks starting to form.

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Flint walked through the parking lot for Magnus Labs and across the plaza to get to the Chicago Police Department Tech Labs. Will Magnus gave his own time to operate as a CSI Tech in major crimes in the Illinois area, as a result when he opened his own private laboratories after leaving the Chicago Branch of STAR Labs under Dr T. O. Morrow he chose a site within close proximity to the CPD Tech Labs. With the high publicity nature of the events from the previous night, the city wanted to be able to say they had their best on the job. So a late night call was sent to Dr Will Magnus, and with the offer of a potential werewolf and costumed vigilante that Chicago might call it’s very own Magnus had jumped at the opportunity, even if it meant a very early start to his day.

Flint still had a few hours before his shift started and was curious to get the lowdown on the findings for his previous night’s work, even without receiving any official caseload from that night. He walked in the main entrance and passed the front reception desk without a word. He took the lift to the third and showed his badge to the woman working the smaller reception desk.

“Is Doc Magnus in?”

“Yes. But I think he’s about to leave. He had an earl--”

“Yes. I know, he had an early start. I worked the case last night. Detective Sargent Flint. I just want to discuss his findings before he goes home for the… early afternoon.”

The receptionist hit a button for the door’s magnetic lock and Flint walked in, offering a final wave.

Flint walked down aisles of computer bays and cubicles before knocking on an office door at the end. The laboratory work was done on another floor in sterile conditions. Most of these computer terminals were for maintaining DNA and fingerprint databases whilst the offices acted as hubs for daily communication for the bigger techs.

Will Magnus looked weary, but still the empty pipe hung between gritted teeth out of the corner of his mouth.

“I’m gonna have to buy you one of those pipes that blow bubbles.”

“You’d be too late. Morrow bought me one of those one year for Kris Kringle.”

“How’d you know it was Dr Morrow? Aren’t those things supposed to be anonymous?”

“I may not be a detective, Flint. But the kind of people who work in laboratories… Let’s just say yours and Dr Morrow’s sense of humour kind of stand out.”

Flint exhaled sharply out of his nostrils, before getting right to the point. “So, what’d you find out about last night?”

“Well, gee Flint. What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you’ve got.”

“Alright. First, about your possible werewolf theory. I’d say it scans.”

“How so?”

“I tested the bloodwork twice. Once as soon as I got into the lab and again at 10 this morning. Blood was collected from the same splatter source. Tested positive first for lupine blood at 4:10 am. Tested positive for human blood at 10:07.”

Flint’s eyebrows raised collectively.

“Only problem is, he’s a ghost.”

“What?” Flint’s Chicagoan accent went into overdrive in surprise. “The werewolf’s a ghost??”

“Of sorts. Blood came up as a Jack Russell, formerly known as Jacob Russoff. We had DNA from an incident years back in ‘09 where he was speeding home. Police said he was very agitated and he took tickets at the time, but he surrendered himself to police for fingerprinting, DNA and provided an updated address the following morning. They updated the report to say he must have been running late at the time, and that he was generally very compliant.”

“Jesus… how did this never come up?”

“Simple. This was well before any talk of mutants and metahumans. DNA testing was purely about obtaining identifying markers for identification purposes in the future. Basic DNA identifaction just picks out those markers and makes an identification. Recognizing a person as having some kind of secret metahuman powers was never the intention in the first place.”

“And you said he’s a ghost.”

“Ah, yes. He’s listed as having died in an automobile accident two years ago. His death certificate has been filed. The coroners also confirm date of death as October 2016.”

“So… what? Is this some kind of zombie thing? He died and came back a werewolf?”

“I’m not an expert on previously-believed-to-be-mythical creatures, Flint. Give me science and I’ll give you answers.”

Another sharp exhalation, before changing tack.

“Alright, what can you tell me about the man dressed in white?”

“Probably not a professional welder, but he likely has some kind of basic engineering background.”

“Based on what?”

“The joins in his homemade hang glider. Made of lightweight aluminum framing and ultralight white canvas. The canvas is probably the more expensive and tougher component to come up with. He clearly made it himself so he’d be less prone to identification. You go out and buy a bunch of straight white hang gliders… somebody’s going to notice.”

Flint considered this for a second. “How much do you think it cost?”

“The glider? Hell if I know. My guess would be several thousand.”

“So he’s probably either wealthy or pulling down 6 figures a year and obsessive?”

Doc Magnus thought for a moment.

“Well… obviously, this isn’t a scientific estimate but…”

Flint waited.

“...I’d say at least high five-figures. If he’s out there again with another glider tonight though I think we could safely rule out the 5s. I mean, a hobbyist could knock something like this up. If he had an engineering background and some knowledge of aerodynamics.”

“Hmm. Did you get anymore on that silver crescent thing?”

“Not yet. Getting clearance for further testing on it at Magnus Labs.”

This made sense. Will Magnus’ specialty was in metalwork. It came as little surprise that the metal expert would want to use his own private laboratories for a full battery of testing on the treated silver that interested him the night before.

“What are you doing anyway, Flint? You sound like you’re getting ready to catch this guy.”

“Haven’t heard anything from the top brass yet either way. Just getting the inside skinny from you in case they’re telling me it’s going to come to that.”

“So you haven’t heard yet?”

Flint sighed. “What have they done?”

Magnus tapped away at his keyboard. “There was a press conference this morning. Right from the top. Superintendent Robran declared that ‘the Chicago PD welcome the assistance of concerned private citizens who are seeking to end the scourge of crime in this city in the interest of improving community policing relations.’”

Doctor Magnus turned the screen and a video of the morning’s press conference played.

“Jesus… this is some nutcase in a white cape, and they’re rolling out the red carpet for Superhero Neighbourhood Watch…”

Magnus grunted through his pipe between gritted teeth. “Nn-hnn.”

“Thanks, Magnus.”

Flint walked out, shaking his head all the way.

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Jack Russell walked the streets in agony. Even now, in his regular human state, the wounds refused to clot from the silver and his shirt was patchy from his own blood seeping through.

He’d been in two minds as to whether he should even leave the factory at all. With only one night left where he was vulnerable, why would you even risk it to go outside in the first place?

But the truth was, Jack knew just how little influence he had over the wolf within, and the fact of the matter was that the wolf was influenced more by outside stimuli than in any way by Jack’s own wants or desires. If the wolf came to the fore in a warm, safe, familiar location the first thing it would look to do is hunt anyway.

So Jack would push on and hope. Hope that when the next transformation took place the wolf would push further in that direction. And away from this city and all the troubles it had brought him of late.

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Look out everyone! Grab hold of your Urichs!
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