IceHeart

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

At the moment yet though I'm probably gonna close this soon.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

<Snipped quote by IceHeart>

The back story was a way of explaining a human being with great powers since humans in dbz are not very strong. I wanted to create a character with a mysterious feel to him and that would wear a smart suit. I'll try to fix up the grammar but I really want to use this character

@Weird Tales

Well in the end my biggest complaint was certainly grammar issues, so as long as you can fix that up I'll probably approve, which it looks like in the CS you have already done so good job there. Ya, if you can keep your grammar I'll accept your character. Oh and, just saying but ya missed a period at the end of this quote. Forgive me but I tend to notice things like this pretty easily, heh.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

@Weird Tales

Well to be honest I was not really sure what to make of your character. The abilities for the most part are fine, but the back story is a little wonky. I mean, its one thing to recreate a body into an android but splicing DNA and creating essentially a superhuman formula is a bit much. When Dr. Gero created Cell it was from the ground up with DNA after all so the body could actually grow up and incorporate the various race powers. Also I have a bit of a thing against not capitalizing in a character sheet after a colon mark, doesn't look very good so that could be fixed. Overall the character just doesn't seem a good fit for a Dragon Ball roleplay and along with a few spelling errors I'm going to have to not approve this character.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

Hrm....

I'm just Gonna scrap Bea. Dunno why, but as a character She's just not sitting well with me. No idea why...but that's usually a bad sign.

Already got another character in mind though, so she'll be up soon~ xP

@Rune_Alchemist

Well good luck on your creation then, will look forward to it.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

My character...

Draining Field is a fun ability in DB Xenoverse, and thats basically what Void Shield is, just with a name change.

Void Siphon is a way for her to beat regenerating world busters like Cell / buu / ext since she can't just hit them with a giant energy blast and vaporize them.

With no numbers, its hard to say what the rate of her abilities / her drains would be.

if she was a Majin, she probably wouldn't change much, besides losing the metal weakness and gaining the rubbery body and candy beam, making her more powerful. the idea behind that weakness was to make her a threat to the big bads, but a Mr. Satan would beat her pretty soundly or somehting.

@Archmage MC

Yes Drain Field is a good ability in DB Xenoverse, it also only creates a barrier in front of the person, not around them like your Void Shield, meaning that it is possible to shoot around the Field Drain barrier if you're smart enough. So what you are saying here is that as a Majin she would retain pretty much all the same abilities and then some, which is not what I had in mind and I would be even less likely to approve in that event. Now I can see what you were trying for here and certainly you wouldn't be able to single-handedly take on a lot of the tougher villains that will appear; however, think of it like this, your character, as she stands, has a rather large advantage over most of the other player characters which easily creates an imbalance during the roleplay. The character does not seem fun to fight in a normal battle, nor fun to take advantage of because of her weakness to silver and iron.

Also that whole 'fade from existence' part is just plain ridiculous for a player character to have. So I have to stand my ground here as the GM and still say not approved. I don't like not approving characters with obviously some good thought put into them but a GM has gotta do what a GM has gotta do.

Let me end on a lighter note by saying I thought the Adaptive Regenerative Essence was a cool idea, being able to temporarily boost one's defenses against a particularly annoying skill to help in a quick rematch. A nice idea that added a bit of strategy to the character since it was only temporary and not a permanent defensive boost.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

@Chev
Seems legit, that explanation sets aside any qualms I had before so should be good to go.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

Honestly she is full demon, since I don't think a demon can be half, they just become a new type of demon. Thanks though I will try to correct the spelling as much as I can. Should I post her into characters?

@Kitsune

You may put her into the character sub thread.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

@Chev
Android 26 seems pretty complete, one question though. In the bio he says he has an unactivated ability to draw power from the surrounding area. What kind of power are we talking about first of all and what are the sources for this power? Other than that question the character seems fine.

@Kitsune
Good to see a demon character, even if only a half-blood. Tried to find something to critic but nothing stood out other than a few minor spelling errors that could be corrected. Noticed you put "dose" instead of "does" a few times but aside from spelling mistakes the character herself is solid so good job.

@Rune_Alchemist
Well for a first time Dragon Ball character not bad. Only thing I would say is that since Majin characters are naturally magical beings you could have added some kind of magical element to her but not required of course. Majins are known for unconventional tactics and turning people into candy after all.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

Can you look at mine?

@HaltingBlooper

Abera seems fine, nothing bad to say, fits the bill so to speak.

Dragon Ball - To Whom the Planets were Sold

I can also make her a majin instead if you want.

Name: Light

Appearance: Light is a 1.65 meter tall pure white humanoid with a skinny neck, overly large head with equally large black/orange eyes (like a majins eyes, just bigger) No nose and a smallish mouth with blue jelly featherlike hair and aquatic looking ears. She had comically large forearms and hand with no visible wrist, wears a white dress with a blue top and blue trim, the front of the dress which is open with a tabard coming from her waist to cover her front. (think lab coat looking tails with a tabard in the front) Her legs end in points with Light having no feet, and her fingers are razor sharp.

Age: '24'

Race: Void Daemon

Gender: Female

Personality: Light enjoys fun and freedom more than anything else, and does what she wants to do. She views things as a game, and has a poor grasp of the severity of situations because of this. While this might make her come off as an airhaed, Light is quite intelligent and uses that perceived notion to her advantage.

Bio: A being from the Void, Light made her way to Earth through a combination of a rogue cult and her interest in the physical plane. Due to her appearance, she could pass herself off as a Majin very easily and started to enjoy the experiences of the physical realm for herself. Of course the fact that she was from the Void causes lots of problems with the physical realm, most notably in the fact she has to constantly be on the move from city to city as if she stays in one place too long, imprints of her body can be found where she was sleeping which irritates quite a few humans.

Aura Color: Void/space black/purple

Preferred Fighting Style: Melee. Light is incapable of using Ki blasts.

Signature Combat Techniques:

-Melee-
Void Shield: Light creates a shield of Void energy around herself, absorbing all energy that hits it. While using this shield Light can't move. Energy absorbed by this shield is used to either replenish Light's own energy or used as a short range explosion.

Void Siphon: Physical contact with Light causes whatever she is touching to slowly lose energy. Energy lost due to damage Light has inflicted is siphoned to her to use. Given long enough contact, this will cause something to eventually fade from existence. Creatures with a tie to the void are immune to this technique.

Reality Step: Light can conjure a void portal to take her between two points in space. The first location is always next to her, the other can be any location that she can sense energy, see, or remember. Others can not interact with the portals, besides overloading them with energy and causing an explosion.

Fusion Punch: Light channels energy into her fist, unleashing a massive surge of Void energy to the next thing she punches. This punch has a slow wind up, but is devastating if it hits.

Shatter Reality: Light's ultimate ability. She shatters reality in an area around her, causing a tear in space that cuts off whoever is caught in it from using magic, and all energy based moves that are not Void based are greatly weakened. Staying in this area for those who are not bound to the Void will slowly drain their vitality. Energy can not be sensed inside this area, and observers will only see darkness. Attempting to leave the arena or enter it causes whoever is entering or leaving to drastically slow down as their essence reconfigures to the presence of reality or lack of.

-Other-

Adaptive Regenerative Essence: Light can regenerate from nearly any injury, even supernatural ones such as being turned into candy. Afterwords Light gains a huge amount of resistance to the last thing that hurt her for a few hours, adapting body appendages or skin textures or whatever she needs to in order to adapt to resisting whatever she was hit with. Light can not adapt to an injury caused by Silver, and injuries caused by Iron have a reduced adaptive resistance, however she can still regenerate from both types of injuries. Obviously regeneration takes a good amount of energy, especially if it was inflicted using Silver or Iron. If Light dies, her essence drifts back into the void to reform instead of going to Otherworld.

@Archmage MC

Its cool you're trying to make a new race but a few things seem a little off about this character. First of all you make the character be a melee only fighter, but then give her a Void Shield, which completely negates distance fighting with ki blasts, though I suppose they could still at least throw large heavy objects at her. On top of that she has the nasty Void Syphon ability, which makes close combat fighting fairly hazardous and given the fact that enemies can literally 'fade from existence' on top of syphoning energy when even dealing damage to enemies is way too overpowered.

Certain androids had similar abilities, minus the whole 'fade from existence' thing, but even then they were limited in how they could absorb from opponents, such as their absorbers were on their hands only and they had to either grab their opponents or absorb the incoming blast with their hands. Adding on to these rather powerful abilities is Shattered Reality; on its own the Shattered Reality is only a little overpowered, basically making an advantageous environment for the character to fight in, but that in combination with the other abilities makes this bubble of reality super deadly. Basically the character as she is has way too much synergy, also the weaknesses to silver and iron, while interesting do not fit all that well in the dragon ball universe, as only a few characters in the series tend to use weapons. Certainly there are some who use swords, like Trunks, but its not something that occurs that often so the weakness will barely be taken advantage of.

An interesting character but too powerful as is. Its up to you rather you want to try to tone her down or if you just want to scrap and change her to a majin like you said at the start.