LadyAnnaLee

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

Thanks for the update. I look forward to it.

LadyAnnaLee's Interest Check.

BUMP! I made some edits! I'm excited to see what this bump brings!

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

Darin did not sleep as well as she would have liked. It was hot and she was still unsure about what was going on in her brain and how to make it shut up. She was also worried about what would happen if that one woman told Ridahne about what she had seen. Then again, Ridahne didn’t come storming in, so Darin could only assume that the warrior had not found out about the farmer’s knuckles. The human’s sleep was restless until she finally gave up right as the dawning started. This was the second night in a row that her own self-doubts and the heat had kept her up. Though it wasn’t completely the heat’s fault. The night they had been with Hadian had been just as hot. The only real difference was that she hadn’t been sleeping near Ridahne.

Darin slowly walked back to her assigned room with hay in her hair and bags under her eyes as she thought about that. For the past year and a half, it had been her and Ridahne against anything that came against them. Now that they had made it to Tasen Ajoran was here and Ridahne wasn’t spending her time with Darin. Was Darin jealous? She thought she might be, and she was mad at herself for that. It wasn’t far to Ajoran. More importantly, it wasn’t fair to Ridahne. The human had known this day was coming, the day that the two lovers were reunited. She hadn’t wanted Ajoran to reject Ridahne. She wanted to be happy for them. She was happy for them. It was just that she felt like an outsider … like an awkward guest … like … like … like. Like being back home.

Darin stopped as she let out a sound of half realization half shock and all dismay. That was exactly it. Back home her only real support had been Thomas and Milla. They had both been her friends. There was no other word for it. They still weren’t close friends and while Darin could and would rely on them, they had other friends besides her. They had duties that Darin understood couldn’t be ignored. They had each other, just like Ridahne and Ajoran had each other and others and jobs to do. There were other similarities. There were the elders and the Sols, both groups wanting Darin to be someone or to do something that she wasn’t sure she wanted to be or even could do. Both groups looked at her with expectations in their eyes and questions in their voices that she wasn’t sure she could meet, that she might not want to answer. And here, like there, she felt alone as she went about her work and day, part of the group, but removed by factors not entirely in her control.

She was supposed to talk to Ridahne about this. Darin knew she was supposed to talk to Ridahne about things like this instead of bottling it away and running to hide, but what was she supposed to say? How could she take Ridahne away from her fiancé to tell the warrior that Darin felt jealous of the man? How could she tell Ridahne that she felt like she was drowning in her desert home when her friend was so excited to be back? How could Darin do that? How could she be selfish like that? She had had Ridahne to herself for a year and a half. Ajoran hadn’t even seen her for just about two years and hadn’t even known that she was coming back to him?

Darin forced herself to resume her walk before she started hitting the wall again. She just needed sleep, and maybe a bath, and maybe some food. And, she thought as yet another person ducked their head towards her and called her Astra-Sol, she needed people to stop calling her Astra-Sol. Logically she knew it was a sign of respect. Logically she knew they meant know harm. It just she wasn’t a Sol, an Azurei matriarch. She was The Seed-Bearer of Astra, a caretaker to be for all of Astra. Except she didn’t think she wanted people to call her Seed-Bearer either. She got to her assigned room and fell face down on the bed. She’d try for more sleep before true dawn came and then go look for Ridahne. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but she had promised not to run, and she would do her best to keep that promise.

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

I completely and totally forgot my family was coming to town this weekend. I'll get you a post just as soon as I can I promise.

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

Bumpy is better then not at all. At least you are getting back to work. And weddings are super exciting!

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

Hello! I just wanted to check in. Are you managing to adjust back to working smoothly?

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

I am so glad to hear that you got back to work! That's so exciting! Best of luck readjusting. There's no rush with the post at all. I promise.

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

Darin gave her head a shake, “You misunderstand I have not decided to bring the rain to Tasen. Astra, The Sky, The Sea, The Stone, specifically of Tasen and the near by areas, have decided to bring this rain here.” There was a slight spiral of wind that lifted Darin a few inches into the air, but did nothing else as Darin laughed lightly in response, “ This is the first time in all my travels that I’ve introduced myself properly. I believe that Astra is celebrating.” The wind died and she dropped back to the ground, “I’m disinclined to disagree.” She turned her gaze back to the Sota-Sol, “I can’t go home. So, Astra is bringing home to me for just a little bit. The rain will only help Tasen. So, I cannot find fault with this plan, even if only for selfish reasons.” She sighed, the look in her eye forlorn, “Speaking of home, I plan on writing messages to send home via The Farm as I have messages for them as well. When they are written I would appreciate your help in making sure they are delivered.” She shrugged, “For now that is all I can think of.” She nodded again, “Thank you for your patience. I’ll take my leave now.”

She didn’t wait for a dismissal as she exited the room. Darin didn’t think that Ridahne would be able to find fault with how she handled the interaction, but for some reason she couldn’t help but wonder what Ravi would think. What would her mother think? She paused in a hallway with her fingertips lightly brushing the wall. Sometimes she didn’t think she acted like a daughter Talia would be proud to call her daughter. Darin wasn’t even sure that mattered. Talia basically took a year off from being her family, much less her mother. Then Darin never cared what Talia had to say about anything, running the farm herself, her short hair, wearing pants, not getting married. So, why did she care about the fact that Talia would call her rude for making the Sols wait and then just leaving when she was done? What type of woman was Darin turning into? Petty and mean? That was the last thing she wanted.

Darin clenched her fists tightly and she began striding back down the hall to the room she had been provided. This was not the time for attacks of self-doubt. This was not the time for crises of faith. This was not the time to slip into depression or whatever. The only person she had to help her with things like this was Ridahne, and this was her home. The warrior was having a mostly okay time. Darin didn’t want to get in the way of that. She knew she was supposed to talk to Ridahne about stuff like this. She had promised. Darin told herself that she would talk to Ridahne … later, much later. When she could get Ridahne away for Ajoran, which might not be for a long while.

Darin suddenly turned to punch the wall, “Stupid.” She quietly cursed in common as she continued to punch the wall, “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

She was just tired, and she knew this. That’s why all these self-doubts were plaguing her. That’s why she currently hated herself. That’s why petty thoughts about Talia and the Sols and Ajoran were sneaking into her brain. Darin didn’t really mean it; she didn’t think. She really needed to just go to bed. She knew that. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to stop punching the wall. She could only use one of her hands since Taja was on the other shoulder. Her knuckles were swiftly becoming bloody and if she didn’t stop, she might break something. Why couldn’t she stop? She wanted to stop. Didn’t she?

A clatter and a voice filled the air, “Astra-Sol!” Darin looked up to see a servant of some sort with their hands other their mouth and a dropped tray by their feet, “Is everything alright?”

The sudden noise shocked Darin out of her actions and she quickly took a step away from the wall. “I’m fine.” She inclined her head on the wall, “I apologize for the mess.”

The servant shook their head quickly, “That doesn’t matter.” They took a few hurried steps forward, “We need to get you to a healer right away.”

Darin quickly darted away form them, “I’m fine.” She forced out a hollow sounding laugh, “I just need rest.”

She ignored the cries of the servant as she quickly hurried on her wall. With her luck news of her little fit would be all over Tasen in no time at all. That was exactly what she didn’t need, but Darin at least understood living with the consequences of her choices. Right now, what she needed to do was get her knuckles washed and bandaged. She thought she might have some bandaging in her pack in her room. She would take care of that and head towards the stables. She couldn’t be alone right now but didn’t want to deal with people. Talbot could probably keep her from doing something completely stupid. Hopefully.

Somehow Darin managed to keep to the plan. She carefully washed her knuckles in the water basin filled with clean water and wrapped the clean cotton tight around her hand. Ridahne probably would have done a better job, but Darin didn’t want to see her. Well, she did want to see her sister, but just her sister, and she would feel guilty of she dragged Ridahne from Ajoran after so long apart. Soon, it would just be the too of them again, so Darin decided to try and be patient. She made it to the stables with out anyone seeing her and finally tossed Taja off her shoulder. The bird didn’t protest as he flew to the rafters to go back to bed. Talbot whinnied sleepily as his human pulled of her boots and sank into the hay near him. Now, Darin just needed turn her brain off and sleep. That might be more difficult that she wanted to admit. Her fingers hurt, reminding her of her many, many flaws.

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

Darin clapped with the beat as she watched Ridahne dance with Ja'heil. It was clear that they were both passionate dancers, but Ridahne had a touch more skill. Ja'heil looked relived as he traded places with Ajoran. Darin clapped a long for a little bit at the start of the new song, but then promptly forgot to as she watched the perfectly matched dancers basically fly across from each other. They were in such perfect harmony, in such perfect synch, that if the Red Hand came in right now, Darin fully believed that the two of them would deal with the threat without even missing a beat in the dance. Darin was thrilled to watch and almost upset when the hypnotic spell was broken as they came to sit back down.

She clapped vigorously, “Bravo!” She left off clapping as she leaned over the table, “Now that was a sight to see! I both eagerly await watching the two of you spar and dread it. That dance plus the inclusion of knifes and swords. I can only assume, correctly of course, that such a dance can be deadly.” She stood and tripped over the bench as she moved away from the table, “Ah ha!” She pointed at Ja'heil, “I told you! I’m clumsy!” She turned her attention to Ridahne, “I have on more errand to run tonight and then I am off to bed. I told you where I will be tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She bowed towards Ja'heil, “Thank you for your company this evening Hama Ja'heil. It has been an honor to get to know you.” She then pivoted about to head out of the dining hall, “Good night to all!”

Then she was into the hallways of the building just as fast as she could go. Darin had to ask for directions a few times, but soon she was heading in the right direction. She heard Taja screech and held out a arm to catch him as he dove from his flight. Darin had a suspicion that Taja had been given leave to fly wherever he wanted in Tasen. She had yet to see another bird inside the building, but it was possible that she just hadn’t noticed them. She paused for a moment as Taja walked up to her shoulder and pressed himself against her cheek. It took a moment, but soon the bird was comfortably dozing, and Darin felt safe to begin her trek to the Sols’ audience chamber.

Determined to be polite Darin stop at a respectful distance and bow slightly, “Good evening Sols.” She rose from the bow to look the Sota-Sol dead in the eyes, “I bring news from Astra regrading a peculiar weather pattern that will come to Tasen not tomorrow, but the next day. On that day it will rain steadily, but not enough to flood. The ground will be covered in water but will do no irreparable damage. The sky will remain grey.” She spread her arms out as Taja let out a mild sound of protest before settling down again, “Do you have any questions about this that I can answer for you and the people of Tasen?”

The Tree of Astra (LadyAnnaLee and Blackfridayrule)

The Seed-Bearer listened carefully as Ja’heil spoke of his training. It honestly sounded very similar to an apprenticeship. There were similar concepts in Eluri and in Orosi. She was willing to wager that every culture had a concept of taking in a young adult that wanted to learn a trade. Yes, it was true, that the Azurei version was harsher than others, but Azurei was a harsh land and being an Eija was a difficult job. A strict training now, meant a person would be less likely to perish in the future. It did explain some of Ridahne, and for that, Darin was grateful.

Darin considered what she had been told, “I guess an Elaitih, or any master teaching a student, is a bit like a parent. Protecting and taking care of a student in exchange for their obedience and willingness to learn.” She smiled at the boy across the table, “And you do seem willing to learn.”

In a way being The Seed-Bearer was like being an apprentice Gardener, not that there was a Gardener to act as her teacher. It was more like a self-taught apprenticeship. Suddenly, Darin was struck with a realization with blinding clarity. Ravi had said that it had always been her, that The Gardener had always been searching for her to give her The Seed. She always assumed that it was because she was a farmer. But what if was because she had been a self-taught farmer? She had learned how to take care of her tiny plot by eavesdropping and watching and listening wherever and whenever she could. She was basically doing the same thing now. She was learning how to take care of a land, a people, a home, by eavesdropping and watching and listening wherever and whenever she could. Planting The Seed was just sowing on a larger scale. Everything that came after was just farming on a larger scale. Suddenly Darin was reminded of the memories of The Gardener’s life before he received his Seed. He had been a gardener. She wouldn’t be The Gardener. She would be The Farmer, and somehow that was both easier to accept and harder to comprehend.

She whispered the two words in the language of her home under her breath and just to herself, “The Farmer.” Then she gave her head a shake as she forced herself to smile up at Ja’heil, “Humans dance.” She shook her head with a laugh and a toss of her hair, “I don’t.” She nudged Ridahne with her shoulder, “Taja Ridahne can attest to that! I mainly stumble around clumsily in a poor imitation of dance.” She shrugged, “Human dancing isn’t like Azurei dancing.” She paused as her finger came to tap against her lips, “I can’t really explain the difference. Both are beautiful and I’m bad at both, but it’s hard to compare the two.”

This was not the time to be worried about personal revelation. Darin hoped that no one had noticed her wide eyes and the brief moments that she spaced out from the conversation, but she didn’t have much hope. At the very least she knew that Ridahne had noticed. The two girls knew each other far too well, and the others in the room were either training to be or were Eija and Taja. Darin didn’t particularly care to answer anyone’s questions, save Ridahne’s and knew her sister would wait to ask. Maybe she could distract everyone else.

She smiled at Ja’heil, “I do like seeing Azurei dancing.” She flashed a smiled down the row towards one person in specific person, “Do you think your master would give you leave to demonstrate for me?” She playfully joked, “I can play The Seed-Bearer card if necessary.”