Darin wasn’t sure she believed most of what came out of Ridahne that time. People could and did lie to others and to themselves. The human had not doubt that the Elf thought she was telling the truth. It may have even been a version of the truth. That didn’t change the fact that to Darin’s, admittedly untrained eyes, that the warrior had been running all her life. Then again, what did Darin know about the world? She had never left home before this after all, and it wasn’t Darin’s job to call out people who may or may not be lying. It was her job to plant The Seed. It wasn’t a job she wanted, but she was going to do it to the best of her ability.
Darin was suddenly exhausted. Anger was not an emotion she had experience with. She had been exasperated, frustrated, slightly ticked off, but never angry before. She wasn’t sure that she liked it. It had drained so much energy out of her. All the human wanted to do was collapse to the ground and sleep. She wasn’t sure that she could do that though. She thought that might ruining the message she was trying to send to Ridahne. She wasn’t even really sure what message she was trying to send, but she was going to send it at best she could. Maybe she just wanted Ridahne to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she was Seed-Chained. She wanted the Elf to know what that meant. The only problem with that was that Darin wasn’t even sure what that meant.
She had never heard those words until she had said them just now. Thomas had been the first to call Darin Seed-Bearer, and that strange title had made sense. Darin was the person carrying The Seed to where it belonged. The burden of this mission fell on to her. No one else could do it until it was done. She didn’t even want to think about what would happen if she failed. However, she wasn’t sure what being Seed-Chained meant. If Darin had to guess, which she thought she might have to do, being Seed-Chained meant that Ridahne’s fate was tied to The Seed the same way Darin was but not in a good way. Being the Seed-Bearer conveyed a sense of honor. Being Seed-Chained had no honor whatsoever. While Darin might not want it being the Seed-Bearer was a privilege. Being Seed-Chained was a punishment. In this case, it was a punishment foe threatening to leave.
Darin suddenly knew what she wanted to say next, “You don’t get to know my mind. You do not get to assume that I would cast you off. You have no right to assume my thoughts unless I share them with you.” She turned to leave the fire, “I’ll be back. Do not follow.” Then as she reached the edge of the small clearing she turned back, “Oh. And I did not think that you cared about your Azurei law. So that’s not a good excuse for what you did to him.”
The animals at the edge of the campsite scattered as the Seed-Bear came towards them. What had happened here tonight was over. All of Astra could sense that. Darin watched them go with question on her lips that she did not voice. Tonight, had been too much. So, even though it meant she was doing it two nights in a row, Darin was leaving the camp to think. She really hoped this didn’t become a habit. She shouldn’t let it become a habit. She stopped as she got to the stream. Then, without thinking, Darin let out a scream of frustration, anger, and desperation fill the air. She then fell to the ground to sob.
This wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair at all. She wanted to go home. She wanted her Mama. She didn’t want to be responsible for all of Astra. She had no idea why she was responsible for all of Astra. By The Tree, why did it have to be her? Surely there were better choices out there. She didn’t even know how to make friends with one person that she wanted to make friends with. It didn’t seem like it would be happening anytime soon. She couldn’t even spend a night with the Elf unless she was drunk. Darin wrapped her arms around her knees as she pressed her face to them in order to stop the tears. She wanted her Mama so bad. He Mama might not have to answers, but at least she would be able to help Darin think it though. \
Like the fact that if the human wanted the Elf to not assume to know what she was thinking Darin had to return the favor. Maybe Ridahne had told the truth. Maybe the Elf really was trying to just do her duty. Maybe the warrior was truly afraid of the fact that Darin might not want her. Darin could see that. If the Seed-Bearer didn’t want her the exile would have to go home to be killed. Darin gripped her knees tighter. She didn’t want to be fair. The world wasn’t being fair to her. Why did she have to be fair to Ridahne? She supposed she didn’t have a choice. At least she hadn’t accused the Elf of lying. She could, at the very least, keep her assumptions to herself for now.
Her stomach let out a sound of protest and Darin was reminded of the fact that she had had nothing to eat besides apples all day. That was not a pleasant thing to remember. It was also a chilly night. She should really head back to the camp. Darin just didn’t want to. She was surprised to feel something press against her back. She turned to see Talbot. She let out a watery laugh. At least she wouldn’t freeze to death tonight.
Then she sighed, “Why is this so hard Talbot? I never asked for any of this.”