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Very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.

There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

Most Recent Posts

Swapped all my images over to the Guild's hosting system, so hopefully that fixes the problem for our UK peeps.


Same.
RPGuild itself has an image hosting feature. If you go to your profile, it's under this tab:



(The Images one, obviously.)

Otherwise, I have no idea what a good alternative would be. Imgur's all I've used for the last decade and some change.
Cool, we have a Punisher.

...

Shit, we have a Punisher.


Why would I dare rip off the expansive mythology of Iris Flash?
Second post isn't nearly as long as I wanted it to be, but it's up.

I promise not to have Spidey fighting King Shark for another five posts. Mostly because I'm running out of fish puns.

...someone reinventing Squirrel Girl as a Green Lantern, who is also an agent of SHIELD, undercover with the Guardians of Galaxy, and the current avatar of the Phoenix Force.


Is it too late for @Sep to change his pitch?

If it isn't an application for CapWolf, I strongly urge @Half Pint to deny.

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