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FallenTrinity
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Recent Statuses
9 yrs ago
Current
Birds > Wolves
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10 yrs ago
Someone remind me to stop staying up into the next day. I'm way too tired to function as I write this.
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Bio
Hello people of this website! I'm a dude, I just really enjoy playing female characters, don't ask why 'cause I don't know. I'm something of a die hard Mass Effect fan, and that's about it.
Most Recent Posts
@Lucius Cypher
Honestly, Ananta and Greg are the worst here.
Honestly, Ananta and Greg are the worst here.
@Deos Morran
I fucked up~
I fucked up~
@FallenTrinity
Military technology has pretty much reverted to the 20th Century, so the most advanced you'll get for weapons systems will be around 1990.
The technology for railguns was first patented in 2003, so not exactly "railguns," persay. Maybe some kind of rudementary version, but not your traditional sound-barrier-breaking metal slug.
That's what the Duvari are for.
Camoflauge exists, though nothing like a tactical cloak has been developed.
Pls no
Cybernetics have already been discussed, they are not Adam Gensen tier yet, unless you find a prosthetic from before shit hit the fan. They're pretty bulky and serve heavy utility.
@13org
Makes sense, then.
Military technology has pretty much reverted to the 20th Century, so the most advanced you'll get for weapons systems will be around 1990.
The technology for railguns was first patented in 2003, so not exactly "railguns," persay. Maybe some kind of rudementary version, but not your traditional sound-barrier-breaking metal slug.
That's what the Duvari are for.
Camoflauge exists, though nothing like a tactical cloak has been developed.
Pls no
Cybernetics have already been discussed, they are not Adam Gensen tier yet, unless you find a prosthetic from before shit hit the fan. They're pretty bulky and serve heavy utility.
@13org
Makes sense, then.
@13org
The "You must choose it and it must choose you" bit. It's not a complaint, just sounds a bit cheesey to me.
The "You must choose it and it must choose you" bit. It's not a complaint, just sounds a bit cheesey to me.
@13org
Isis is good on my end, though I will say the middle paragraph of the backstory sounds a little cheesey. Maybe it's because I'm tired, wait for Deos' word.
Isis is good on my end, though I will say the middle paragraph of the backstory sounds a little cheesey. Maybe it's because I'm tired, wait for Deos' word.
Okay that post didn't happen, should be up Thursday.
@Dealdric
Okay, so there are quite a few issues to be had here, so I'm gonna start listing things. Don't wanna come off as rude, though this will clearly explain what's wrong and how it's wrong.
1. The grammar seriously needs to be cleaned up. Like, SERIOUSLY needs to be cleaned up, I can't emphasize this enough.
2. The role needs to be shortened to just Mechanic. While engineers exist, you've described Cornilius as someone that repairs, not creates.
3. This is how Cornelius is typically spelled. If that was deliberate, disregard this.
4. You've described his body as an amalgamation of power tools and some armor in a coat. Lore-wise, a Cyborg would be a bit clunky, but nowhere near what's been described. Something like what's in this hider.
5. Okay I physically can't say this any other way. The background is way too choppy and is, quite frankly, cringey. A lot of elaboration on his past is needed to justify why he's a brain in a machine, why he was cut apart twice on the streets, what went wrong to leave him in constant pain. Was he a victim of a random crime? Was it because he had made some enemies earlier in life?
6. What's caused him to hate those that think less of him? Is it a violent hatred, or is a passive and repressed thing?
7. What chemical reason is there for him to rust when scared?
All in all, there's a lot of room for improvement and the character could work in another setting, though this level of augmentation with technology from the 20th Century is damn-near impossible. I'd recommend either putting him on the back burner or completely rehashing the idea.
Okay, so there are quite a few issues to be had here, so I'm gonna start listing things. Don't wanna come off as rude, though this will clearly explain what's wrong and how it's wrong.
1. The grammar seriously needs to be cleaned up. Like, SERIOUSLY needs to be cleaned up, I can't emphasize this enough.
2. The role needs to be shortened to just Mechanic. While engineers exist, you've described Cornilius as someone that repairs, not creates.
3. This is how Cornelius is typically spelled. If that was deliberate, disregard this.
4. You've described his body as an amalgamation of power tools and some armor in a coat. Lore-wise, a Cyborg would be a bit clunky, but nowhere near what's been described. Something like what's in this hider.
5. Okay I physically can't say this any other way. The background is way too choppy and is, quite frankly, cringey. A lot of elaboration on his past is needed to justify why he's a brain in a machine, why he was cut apart twice on the streets, what went wrong to leave him in constant pain. Was he a victim of a random crime? Was it because he had made some enemies earlier in life?
6. What's caused him to hate those that think less of him? Is it a violent hatred, or is a passive and repressed thing?
7. What chemical reason is there for him to rust when scared?
All in all, there's a lot of room for improvement and the character could work in another setting, though this level of augmentation with technology from the 20th Century is damn-near impossible. I'd recommend either putting him on the back burner or completely rehashing the idea.
@Banana
Size is right, but Greg isn't thicc.
Size is right, but Greg isn't thicc.
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