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Cameron nodded and began to sprint towards the wooden beams when the woman on the opposing side entered her line of vision, blocking the pathway to her destination. In the time she took a deep breath, the woman began to charge at her quickly, and Cameron quickly ducked as a leg swung over her, the lack of impact causing her attacked to spin momentarily.
She blew a piece of hair out of her face as she widened her stance, and the woman approached her again, this time delivering a blow to Cameron’s side. Her eyes bulged – the woman hit her directly in the healing wound – and she lost focus for a moment. The woman scoffed, obviously not amused, and she began to slowly circle Cameron as she tried to catch her breath.
But the attacker’s attitude began to light a fire in Cameron, and without warning, she lunged at the woman and jumped in the air before connecting with her and bringing her to the floor. Her knees sat upon the woman’s arms, and she began to hit her in the face with closed fists, but only until the woman used her legs to knock Cameron off of her.
Before she was attacked again, Cameron decided to run for the beams, and as soon as her hands grabbed one, she swung it behind her. The woman dropped to the floor almost instantly after impact, and she ran quickly to check the attacker’s pulse to make sure she was still alive.
“Okay,” Cameron whispered, confirming a weak pulse, before directing her attention over to Justin and his attackers. One was out cold on the ground, but two still working to take him down. She began to sprint towards one of the men and leapt onto his back, then after a bit of a struggle, she wrapped an arm around his throat and squeezed tightly until she felt his legs buckle underneath him. Cameron dropped to the floor with him, and just as she did before, she checked his pulse quickly before popping back up into a fighting stance.
Justin had already taken care of the one remaining attacker, who now laid face down on the ground in front of them. She couldn’t help but smile; it all went much better than she originally thought it would. Maybe her anxiety was all for nothing.
Her hands were tingling down at her sides, and as soon as they were in her line of sight, Cameron could see the veins running down her arm raised and pumping blood through her body. “That’s weird,” she mumbled as she looked up to Justin. “Do you feel anything… weird?” she whispered to him, but before she could get an answer, four men appeared out of a door in the corner and walked to each of the unconscious attackers, and after some effort, removed them from courtyard.
“Very good,” Avery’s voice boomed over the loudspeaker. “Please prepare for phase two.”
At this point, Cameron had her hands on her knees and was catching her breath, but she stood up straight as soon as Avery finished speaking. They had mentioned something about creatures before, could that mean –
Another larger door whooshed open once again, this time on the opposite side of the courtyard, but no one was on the other side. It was dark. She looked to Justin with widened eyes, but only momentarily before placing her focus back on the door. A growl sounded from deep within whatever room the door led to, but nothing stepped of of the darkness to show itself. Not yet. Cameron stepped back closer to Justin until she bumped into him by mistake, but she didn't move away, instead grabbing his left arm with a tight grip as they both stared in anticipation.
She blew a piece of hair out of her face as she widened her stance, and the woman approached her again, this time delivering a blow to Cameron’s side. Her eyes bulged – the woman hit her directly in the healing wound – and she lost focus for a moment. The woman scoffed, obviously not amused, and she began to slowly circle Cameron as she tried to catch her breath.
But the attacker’s attitude began to light a fire in Cameron, and without warning, she lunged at the woman and jumped in the air before connecting with her and bringing her to the floor. Her knees sat upon the woman’s arms, and she began to hit her in the face with closed fists, but only until the woman used her legs to knock Cameron off of her.
Before she was attacked again, Cameron decided to run for the beams, and as soon as her hands grabbed one, she swung it behind her. The woman dropped to the floor almost instantly after impact, and she ran quickly to check the attacker’s pulse to make sure she was still alive.
“Okay,” Cameron whispered, confirming a weak pulse, before directing her attention over to Justin and his attackers. One was out cold on the ground, but two still working to take him down. She began to sprint towards one of the men and leapt onto his back, then after a bit of a struggle, she wrapped an arm around his throat and squeezed tightly until she felt his legs buckle underneath him. Cameron dropped to the floor with him, and just as she did before, she checked his pulse quickly before popping back up into a fighting stance.
Justin had already taken care of the one remaining attacker, who now laid face down on the ground in front of them. She couldn’t help but smile; it all went much better than she originally thought it would. Maybe her anxiety was all for nothing.
Her hands were tingling down at her sides, and as soon as they were in her line of sight, Cameron could see the veins running down her arm raised and pumping blood through her body. “That’s weird,” she mumbled as she looked up to Justin. “Do you feel anything… weird?” she whispered to him, but before she could get an answer, four men appeared out of a door in the corner and walked to each of the unconscious attackers, and after some effort, removed them from courtyard.
“Very good,” Avery’s voice boomed over the loudspeaker. “Please prepare for phase two.”
At this point, Cameron had her hands on her knees and was catching her breath, but she stood up straight as soon as Avery finished speaking. They had mentioned something about creatures before, could that mean –
Another larger door whooshed open once again, this time on the opposite side of the courtyard, but no one was on the other side. It was dark. She looked to Justin with widened eyes, but only momentarily before placing her focus back on the door. A growl sounded from deep within whatever room the door led to, but nothing stepped of of the darkness to show itself. Not yet. Cameron stepped back closer to Justin until she bumped into him by mistake, but she didn't move away, instead grabbing his left arm with a tight grip as they both stared in anticipation.
Jane had reluctantly made her way back to the bus to see that Rob had yet to return from his interview, let alone call her back. “Sam?” she called out as she walked down the aisle to find him laying down in his bunk. “Any word from the guys?”
“No, not yet,” Sam shook his head. “More shit online though.”
“What now?” she groaned as she took his phone from his hands. This time, it had nothing to do with Jane and Andy, but Zoe and Rob. A picture of the two on a bench, seemingly unhappy with each other, then one of Rob vomiting outside of the van, and then another of his encounter with the overbearing fan. Jane scrolled back up to the top image – of him and Zoe – and read the words that detailed a supposed break-up, with Zoe being the instigator.
She handed back the phone and ran her fingers along her scalp. “Fuck, man. I didn’t know it happened like that.” It was true, her and Rob really never discussed what happened between him and Zoe; Jane had always just assumed that he was the one that ended things between them. Obviously, she was wrong.
“I didn’t either,” Sam chimed in, turning off his phone screen and shutting his eyes. “What’s it matter, though?”
“What do you mean?” Jane asked, annoyance in her voice.
“I don’t know, J. You’re off doing your own thing with Andy. What difference does it make what happened between the two?”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Sam,” she mumbled as she headed towards her bunk, but immediately got the urge to vomit once again, and she made a detour to the bathroom.
After she finished, Sam came up behind her as she was wiping her mouth. “Pregnant?”
“No,” Jane replied quickly. “Just my nerves.”
“Got it,” Sam said flatly. “Look, I know we’re not that close or anything. But I know you well enough by now to give you a piece of advice.”
“Yeah?” Jane said sarcastically as she looked up to him. “What’s that?”
“I think life would be a lot easier for you if you would just start being honest with yourself.” And with that, Sam grabbed his phone from his bunk and exited the bus, letting a blast of cool air in from the weather.
Jane clenched her fists until she heard the bus’s door close behind him as if it would keep her from yelling something at him that she’d later regret. It wasn’t that Sam was wrong, but rather Jane having to hear a harsh truth she wasn’t ready for that pissed her off. She knew that the days of maintaining blissful ignorance towards the people around her were coming to an end and that she would soon be slapped with reality.
But Jane didn’t want that moment to be right now, so she quickly closed the door to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and splashed some water on her face so that she would look more awake before quietly opening the door and stepping out into the aisle. No one had arrived yet, thank God, and Jane quickly grabbed her bag and dashed out the bus’s door. Sam’s voice could be heard yelling after her, but she didn’t go back.
On the other end of the lot, Jane could see a cab pulling in, and her heart began to thump loudly in her ears as she walked around to the back of the bus, waiting until Rob and Austin entered it. Another minute or two passed – they seemed like hours – then the taxi she had called finally arrived. She nearly dove into the backseat, taking a deep breath and moving her hair from her eyes to see the man up front staring at her.
“Where to?”
“Um,” she bit her lip. “Just downtown. Anywhere there.”
“Okay.” The man began to pull out of the lot, and as Jane looked over to Vicarious’ bus, she saw Andy step out and give her a look of both concern and confusion, to which she only turned her head. Another person she didn’t want to deal with right now.
Jane had been aimlessly walking around the city for a few hours by now, drinking from a flask that was in her bag from the night before. She had even stopped in to a drugstore and got a pregnancy test, which now sat unopened in the bottom of her purse. Definitely something she wasn’t going to deal with right now.
Her sunglasses concealed her eyes, puffy from random bouts of crying, as she stepped into a pub off the street and sat down at the bar.
“What can I get for you?” a younger man with a thick, German accent asked as he set a coaster in front of her.
“Rum and coke, please,” she replied quietly without looking up.
“Ah, American,” he began as he grabbed a glass from the wall behind him, “Here with school?”
Jane snorted. “No.” She looked up to him and smiled faintly. “Tour. I’m, uh, I’m in a band.”
“Oh, I think I’ve seen the flier. Vicarious and um… what was the other one called?” He placed the finished drink in front of her.
“Thank you. And In Bloom. That’s my band.”
“You’re the girl I saw in the internet, no? Making out with some guy?” The man smiled as he leaned on an elbow in front of her.
“Unfortunately, yes. And that’s not even my boyfriend.”
“Well, now I know why you’re drinking this early,” he winked. “A friend invited me to your show tonight. Said both bands are pretty good.”
“Yeah, well I don’t know if Vicarious will be playing with all the drama going on. That was their vocalist in the picture with me. And the other girl, Zoe, well, the picture of her was with my boyfriend.” She sighed, but chuckled right after. “We’re all a mess.”
“Wow,” he shook his head. “That’s pretty confusing. You’re in an open relationship?”
Jane shrugged. “I think so. I mean, yes. But everything’s so complicated, I don’t know what the rules are anymore.”
“Well,” the bartender started, “you don’t look like a girl who follows the rules too much.”
The bartender stayed in a flat above the pub, and that was where Jane ended up after another drink or two downstairs. The flat was also where she began the second leg of her journey through this city, after of course, sleeping with him. His name was Conrad, a thirty-two year old who actually owned the pub, and had also dabbled in DJing over the years, a subject that Jane didn’t pay attention to as he spoke about it.
Yes, he was nice. And yes, the sex was decent, but it all offered only a fleeting moment of happiness in the midst of all the chaos that not only surrounded her, but her bandmates as well. And after that moment of satisfaction passed, it was as if she was worse off than when she started. Guilt was now added on the list of everything Jane was feeling.
Well, more guilt.
Her phone had been vibrating all afternoon, and she reluctantly pulled it out to check what she had missed.
Missed calls:
Harold, 8:43 AM
Harold, 9:37 AM
Andy, 10:45 AM
Harold, 11:32 AM
Andy, 12:19 PM
Harold, 2:56 PM
Harold, 3:31 PM
No Rob.
She decided against looking at the eleven texts she had waiting, but instead to get the call to Harold out of the way. She could imagine him pacing around his ocean-view office, red in the face, and frantic with all of the news that hit the internet, and it made her laugh.
“Hey, Harold, sorry,” Jane said, but stopped after knowing that he would interrupt her.
“What the fuck is going on over there, Jane? I’ve been trying to reach you all day. I’m getting calls left and right about the pictures, and Rob hasn’t talked much to me either. Are you guys sleeping with members from Vicarious?” He spoke quickly, but the harsh tone he used was the one that Jane had grown accustomed to when she got his calls.
“Yes.” Not only was she drunk, but she was growing tired of answering to Harold as if he was her father. “I’ve been fucking Andy, and Rob’s been with Zoe. That ended though.”
“Jesus Christ, Jane,” he nearly screamed. “Could you guys not fuck one thing up? Vicarious won’t answer any of my calls either, so I have no idea if they’re dropping tonight. Sam hasn’t been able to give me much information. What am I supposed to tell all of these people?”
“Harold, I need you to send me my insurance information,” Jane demanded calmly.
“W-what?” Harold was taken aback by the change in subject. “No, Jane. Just tell me your symptoms and we’ll ask your doctor here.”
“That’s not gonna cut it this time, Harold. Send me the information, please.”
“Whatever. Fine. But, please tell me what I’m supposed to do with this mess.”
Jane sighed. “Um, I don’t know.” She scratched at her head, not knowing if what she was about to do was a bright decision or not. “Tell them it was my fault. That I was the reason that Rob was all fucked up in that picture, and-and that the reason him and Zoe looked angry at each other was because he was venting about me. And…” she took a deep breath, “that what happened with Andy was a onetime thing. I don’t know, Harold, just make me take the brunt of it. I’m used to it.”
They both sat in silence for a moment before he finally spoke up. “Okay.” Then, the call ended there.
Jane wasn’t sure how it would go down, or how they’d react, but she did know that she still didn’t want to go back to the bus. She would probably regret telling Harold to spin everything to put the blame on her, but she felt as if she deserved it. Not only did she have to deal with Andy and what exactly their relationship was, and what truly happened between Rob and Zoe, but now she had slept with someone else. Granted, it didn't mean anything at all; Jane had simply just regressed back to her old ways of dealing with her issues. Which, really, wasn't dealing with them at all.
And the fucked up part of it all was, the person that she ran away from this morning was the only person she had wanted to be with all day. Call it pride, call it stupidity, but she couldn't force herself back to the bus, so she searched and searched until she found a small, quiet coffee house and decided that she'd stay there until she could go to the venue for load in. Perhaps she'd know what to say to Rob then.
“No, not yet,” Sam shook his head. “More shit online though.”
“What now?” she groaned as she took his phone from his hands. This time, it had nothing to do with Jane and Andy, but Zoe and Rob. A picture of the two on a bench, seemingly unhappy with each other, then one of Rob vomiting outside of the van, and then another of his encounter with the overbearing fan. Jane scrolled back up to the top image – of him and Zoe – and read the words that detailed a supposed break-up, with Zoe being the instigator.
She handed back the phone and ran her fingers along her scalp. “Fuck, man. I didn’t know it happened like that.” It was true, her and Rob really never discussed what happened between him and Zoe; Jane had always just assumed that he was the one that ended things between them. Obviously, she was wrong.
“I didn’t either,” Sam chimed in, turning off his phone screen and shutting his eyes. “What’s it matter, though?”
“What do you mean?” Jane asked, annoyance in her voice.
“I don’t know, J. You’re off doing your own thing with Andy. What difference does it make what happened between the two?”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Sam,” she mumbled as she headed towards her bunk, but immediately got the urge to vomit once again, and she made a detour to the bathroom.
After she finished, Sam came up behind her as she was wiping her mouth. “Pregnant?”
“No,” Jane replied quickly. “Just my nerves.”
“Got it,” Sam said flatly. “Look, I know we’re not that close or anything. But I know you well enough by now to give you a piece of advice.”
“Yeah?” Jane said sarcastically as she looked up to him. “What’s that?”
“I think life would be a lot easier for you if you would just start being honest with yourself.” And with that, Sam grabbed his phone from his bunk and exited the bus, letting a blast of cool air in from the weather.
Jane clenched her fists until she heard the bus’s door close behind him as if it would keep her from yelling something at him that she’d later regret. It wasn’t that Sam was wrong, but rather Jane having to hear a harsh truth she wasn’t ready for that pissed her off. She knew that the days of maintaining blissful ignorance towards the people around her were coming to an end and that she would soon be slapped with reality.
But Jane didn’t want that moment to be right now, so she quickly closed the door to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and splashed some water on her face so that she would look more awake before quietly opening the door and stepping out into the aisle. No one had arrived yet, thank God, and Jane quickly grabbed her bag and dashed out the bus’s door. Sam’s voice could be heard yelling after her, but she didn’t go back.
On the other end of the lot, Jane could see a cab pulling in, and her heart began to thump loudly in her ears as she walked around to the back of the bus, waiting until Rob and Austin entered it. Another minute or two passed – they seemed like hours – then the taxi she had called finally arrived. She nearly dove into the backseat, taking a deep breath and moving her hair from her eyes to see the man up front staring at her.
“Where to?”
“Um,” she bit her lip. “Just downtown. Anywhere there.”
“Okay.” The man began to pull out of the lot, and as Jane looked over to Vicarious’ bus, she saw Andy step out and give her a look of both concern and confusion, to which she only turned her head. Another person she didn’t want to deal with right now.
*****
Jane had been aimlessly walking around the city for a few hours by now, drinking from a flask that was in her bag from the night before. She had even stopped in to a drugstore and got a pregnancy test, which now sat unopened in the bottom of her purse. Definitely something she wasn’t going to deal with right now.
Her sunglasses concealed her eyes, puffy from random bouts of crying, as she stepped into a pub off the street and sat down at the bar.
“What can I get for you?” a younger man with a thick, German accent asked as he set a coaster in front of her.
“Rum and coke, please,” she replied quietly without looking up.
“Ah, American,” he began as he grabbed a glass from the wall behind him, “Here with school?”
Jane snorted. “No.” She looked up to him and smiled faintly. “Tour. I’m, uh, I’m in a band.”
“Oh, I think I’ve seen the flier. Vicarious and um… what was the other one called?” He placed the finished drink in front of her.
“Thank you. And In Bloom. That’s my band.”
“You’re the girl I saw in the internet, no? Making out with some guy?” The man smiled as he leaned on an elbow in front of her.
“Unfortunately, yes. And that’s not even my boyfriend.”
“Well, now I know why you’re drinking this early,” he winked. “A friend invited me to your show tonight. Said both bands are pretty good.”
“Yeah, well I don’t know if Vicarious will be playing with all the drama going on. That was their vocalist in the picture with me. And the other girl, Zoe, well, the picture of her was with my boyfriend.” She sighed, but chuckled right after. “We’re all a mess.”
“Wow,” he shook his head. “That’s pretty confusing. You’re in an open relationship?”
Jane shrugged. “I think so. I mean, yes. But everything’s so complicated, I don’t know what the rules are anymore.”
“Well,” the bartender started, “you don’t look like a girl who follows the rules too much.”
*****
The bartender stayed in a flat above the pub, and that was where Jane ended up after another drink or two downstairs. The flat was also where she began the second leg of her journey through this city, after of course, sleeping with him. His name was Conrad, a thirty-two year old who actually owned the pub, and had also dabbled in DJing over the years, a subject that Jane didn’t pay attention to as he spoke about it.
Yes, he was nice. And yes, the sex was decent, but it all offered only a fleeting moment of happiness in the midst of all the chaos that not only surrounded her, but her bandmates as well. And after that moment of satisfaction passed, it was as if she was worse off than when she started. Guilt was now added on the list of everything Jane was feeling.
Well, more guilt.
Her phone had been vibrating all afternoon, and she reluctantly pulled it out to check what she had missed.
Missed calls:
Harold, 8:43 AM
Harold, 9:37 AM
Andy, 10:45 AM
Harold, 11:32 AM
Andy, 12:19 PM
Harold, 2:56 PM
Harold, 3:31 PM
No Rob.
She decided against looking at the eleven texts she had waiting, but instead to get the call to Harold out of the way. She could imagine him pacing around his ocean-view office, red in the face, and frantic with all of the news that hit the internet, and it made her laugh.
“Hey, Harold, sorry,” Jane said, but stopped after knowing that he would interrupt her.
“What the fuck is going on over there, Jane? I’ve been trying to reach you all day. I’m getting calls left and right about the pictures, and Rob hasn’t talked much to me either. Are you guys sleeping with members from Vicarious?” He spoke quickly, but the harsh tone he used was the one that Jane had grown accustomed to when she got his calls.
“Yes.” Not only was she drunk, but she was growing tired of answering to Harold as if he was her father. “I’ve been fucking Andy, and Rob’s been with Zoe. That ended though.”
“Jesus Christ, Jane,” he nearly screamed. “Could you guys not fuck one thing up? Vicarious won’t answer any of my calls either, so I have no idea if they’re dropping tonight. Sam hasn’t been able to give me much information. What am I supposed to tell all of these people?”
“Harold, I need you to send me my insurance information,” Jane demanded calmly.
“W-what?” Harold was taken aback by the change in subject. “No, Jane. Just tell me your symptoms and we’ll ask your doctor here.”
“That’s not gonna cut it this time, Harold. Send me the information, please.”
“Whatever. Fine. But, please tell me what I’m supposed to do with this mess.”
Jane sighed. “Um, I don’t know.” She scratched at her head, not knowing if what she was about to do was a bright decision or not. “Tell them it was my fault. That I was the reason that Rob was all fucked up in that picture, and-and that the reason him and Zoe looked angry at each other was because he was venting about me. And…” she took a deep breath, “that what happened with Andy was a onetime thing. I don’t know, Harold, just make me take the brunt of it. I’m used to it.”
They both sat in silence for a moment before he finally spoke up. “Okay.” Then, the call ended there.
Jane wasn’t sure how it would go down, or how they’d react, but she did know that she still didn’t want to go back to the bus. She would probably regret telling Harold to spin everything to put the blame on her, but she felt as if she deserved it. Not only did she have to deal with Andy and what exactly their relationship was, and what truly happened between Rob and Zoe, but now she had slept with someone else. Granted, it didn't mean anything at all; Jane had simply just regressed back to her old ways of dealing with her issues. Which, really, wasn't dealing with them at all.
And the fucked up part of it all was, the person that she ran away from this morning was the only person she had wanted to be with all day. Call it pride, call it stupidity, but she couldn't force herself back to the bus, so she searched and searched until she found a small, quiet coffee house and decided that she'd stay there until she could go to the venue for load in. Perhaps she'd know what to say to Rob then.
I have a post in the works for you! Should be ready in a day or two :-)
The busses had arrived in Vienna only an hour or two before midnight, but due to a long nap midday with Rob, Jane was wide awake. She had tried earlier to beg him and Austin to go out with her on the town, but they had scheduled an interview for the morning and respectfully declined. They hadn’t had much time apart in the past forty-eight hours, but it wasn’t by accident; ever since they had talked behind the venue, they had nearly been inseparable, and all tension that had built up was now released.
Well, almost all of it.
Jane had yet to really dig into to her connection with Andy with Rob, let alone herself. Over the past two days, she hadn’t even really texted him, and she was starting to feel guilty for the lack of communication on her end. He was an innocent bystander in this situation, undeserving of being ignored, but the more that Jane began to think about him, the more it felt like she was doing something wrong.
Logically, she wasn’t. She was going by the agreement that her and Rob had put into place, and if she had to admit, Jane wasn’t ready to give that up. Not yet.
It wasn’t like Jane and Andy were going to continue when the tour ended and they both went back home. She highly doubted that either of them would make a fifteen hour drive to see each other enough to keep up any sort of connection, and Jane had completely made amends with that fact. But, to end things between them prematurely seemed as though it would be a waste of energy.
As everyone got ready for bed, Jane shot a text to Andy.
Jane; 11:34 PM: Everyone is going to bed over here. Wanna go out for a little?
Andy; 11:38 PM: Sure. Meet me outside in 5.
One they met, they embraced each other quickly and called a cab to bring them into the city. The conversation remained light until they arrived at a bar they had looked up online. It was a dim, open spaced, packed to the brim with patrons, none of which approached either of them for pictures or autographs.
“So,” Andy began as he twirled the ice in his cup with his straw, “haven’t seen much of you lately.”
Jane sighed and nodded; he wasn’t wasting any time. “Oh…yeah. Rob and I talked after that show and he told me he loved me, and that he still wants to be with me.” She hadn’t found the courage to look up from her beer. “I guess we’ve just been spending a lot of time together since then.”
“Ah,” Andy nodded. “Are you happy?”
Jane looked to him and smiled faintly. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.”
“Well, I’m glad,” Andy replied as he pushed his hair out of his face, which revealed an unsatisfied expression.
“What’s wrong, Andy?” asked Jane with a furrowed brow, turning her body to face him. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to have such a conversation right then, but apparently he was.
“What’s that mean for us, Jane?” He rested his face in his hand. “Soon, we won’t be touring together. We’ll be hundreds of miles apart. Don’t give up on me just yet.”
Jane looked down when he finished. He was feeling the same way she was (whatever that was). “I know, I know,” she sighed. “But now that he and Zoe are done, and I had gotten so jealous, I feel guilty for whatever is happening between us.”
Andy placed a hand on her knee and squeezed it softly. “Who knows if we’re even going to see each other again after this, Jane?”
Her finger’s disappeared deep in to her hair as she took a deep breath. “Do we have to talk about this now? I wanna see if I can break my record for not fucking things up. I’ve got two days so far.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine. But we need to talk about this eventually.”
“Yeah,” she smirked. “I know.”
Soon, they were walking the streets of Vienna together arm in arm, laughing about a story Andy had told about a party he went to in high school. Both of them had a decent buzz on, accidentally bumping shoulders with those walking by or taking a misstep, only making their laughter increase.
A sliver of pavement separated two tall buildings to their left, and Andy quickly grabbed Jane’s hand to yank her into the the alleyway with him, and there, he brought both hands to the side of her head and kissed her with passionate.
“Andy,” she mumbled into his lips. “It’s too exposed here, we can’t – “
“I’m not trying to get laid, Jane,” he explained as he pulled away from her face a few inches. “I’m just enjoying the time we have left together, okay?”
“Okay,” Jane replied quietly, and they both leaned back into each other.
Only moments passed, though, before a bright light flashed towards them, causing them both to startle and turn towards its source: a man, possibly in his early thirties, with a large camera in his hand had just taken a picture of the two of them.
“Get the fuck out of here, man,” Andy nearly yelled as he approached the man, who ran off instantly back out onto the busy sidewalk and down the block. “I’m sorry, Jane,” Andy softened.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Jane whispered over and over again as she began to pace in the alley. “You know that’s going on the internet.”
“Hey, it’ll be fine. There had already been some rumors going around.”
“Yeah, but this is proof,” Jane groaned. “Plus, things are going so well with Rob. This is just gonna be a slap in the face.”
“Let’s get you back to the bus, huh?” he suggested as he threw an arm around her shoulder. “We’ll deal with this tomorrow.”
Jane awoke to the undeniable sensation of nausea in her stomach, and she abruptly hopped down from her bunk and dashed for the bathroom, puking as soon as her knees touched the cold tile floor. She only had three, maybe four beers last night. Not enough to make her vomit…
She only had time to wipe her mouth before Sam had appeared in the doorway with his phone facing her.
“This is on three news sites so far,” he said in his usual neutral tone.
There it was. Her hands were on Andy’s chest, one of his hands were in her back pocket, and another in her hair. They were deep in a kiss in an alleyway late at night.
“Damn it,” Jane cursed, her voice still weak from vomiting. “What’s it say?”
“Jane, front woman of In Bloom, caught kissing Vicarious’ vocalist Andy Ramirez passionately in a Vienna alleyway. What does this mean for her and Rob’s relationship?” Sam shrugged as he finished, sticking the phone in his back pocket.
“Jesus, is Rob here?”
“No. He and Austin left for the interview about an hour ago. You know, you gotta deal with this soon. The next two weeks of shows are gonna be huge, and Harold will flip if shit doesn’t go well.”
“I will,” she whispered as she looked up to him. “Hey, Sam?” she called to him as he began to walk away.
“Yeah, J?”
“Promise not to tell the guys about me barfing?”
“Yeah.”
Jane eventually returned to her bunk to be greeted from by a text from Andy.
Andy, 9:42 AM: Shit. Worse than I thought.
Jane, 9:44 AM: Yeah. I’m probably gonna lay low for a while.
Andy, 9:45 AM: I understand.
After some digging, Jane released her longboard from a pile of bags tucked away in the bus’s storage, and after brushing her teeth and putting on some warm clothes, she took off out of the lot the busses were parked in and out onto the street, slowly weaving her board from left to right on the barren road. Her earbuds were playing Candy Flips by Spires, and she was enjoying the song so much that she caught herself closing her eyes for just a second too long, nearly hitting a parked car.
“Shit!” she yelled as she curved her board, but made a split second decision to run off of it instead of trying to ride it out. The board shot out, maybe thirty feet, and just as it slowed, the undeniable crack of it breaking in half rang through the air, along with the cursing in a foreign language from the driver of an SUV.
Jane ran towards it to see what she had suspected. It was nearly clean down the middle, with jagged pieces of wood sticking out from both sides. She picked both up in her hands and walked back to the sidewalk to plop down on a bench, and that was when her lip began to quiver.
Wait, what?
”Am I really about to cry over my fucking longboard?”
In all fairness, she had owned it for ten years, replacing the trucks and grip tape frequently to keep it ridable. She knew she needed a new one, but this one had so many memories attached to it.
Jane and Rob had gotten into yet another argument while they were driving home from the studio together about the single, with her in the passenger seat. If she had to look back now, she wouldn’t be able to remember what words were exchanged, besides her last statement: “Fuck this. I’m skating home.”
At the next red light, Jane exited the vehicle and began to push her longboard down the dark road, expecting Rob to take off in the car ahead of her. Instead, without saying a word, he drove next to her for blocks. At first she was annoyed, her pride not even allowing her to look over to him, but after about a mile, she found that she was beginning to smile, and she got off her board and once again got in the passenger seat.
“Asshole,” was all she said with smirk before they endured the rest of the ride in silence.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks, but Jane couldn’t help but laugh at the memory as she sat with the broken board in her hands. She had to talk to Rob about the news articles he had probably already seen, but she felt it’d be best to calm down first before she saw him face to face. Maybe a text?
No, a text would be too ingenuine.
Jane put her phone up to her ear and waited as it trilled over and over again, eventually going to voicemail.
“Hey, it’s me. I got out for a little to clear my head. Um, a car ran over my board.” She laughed and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I don’t know what you’ve seen yet, but I didn’t want you to think I was running away from it. I, uh, I don’t know what to do, or to say besides that I’m sorry… I’m sorry and I love you. Not Andy. But, um, I’m gonna head back soon, so I guess I’ll see you then. Bye, Rob.”
She ended the all and rubbed her temples as millions of thoughts raced through her mind:
Why did she barf this morning? What if she was pregnant? Who would the father be? Can she even get an abortion out here? Will Rob want her to end things with Andy? How would Andy react? Is Rob upset with her over the picture?
Instead of getting up to walk back to the lot, Jane decided to give herself a little more time to center herself. She put on Fever Queen by Nothing and laid herself down on the bench, closing her eyes tightly and breathing deeply.
Jane didn’t look forward to what could await her back at the bus.
Well, almost all of it.
Jane had yet to really dig into to her connection with Andy with Rob, let alone herself. Over the past two days, she hadn’t even really texted him, and she was starting to feel guilty for the lack of communication on her end. He was an innocent bystander in this situation, undeserving of being ignored, but the more that Jane began to think about him, the more it felt like she was doing something wrong.
Logically, she wasn’t. She was going by the agreement that her and Rob had put into place, and if she had to admit, Jane wasn’t ready to give that up. Not yet.
It wasn’t like Jane and Andy were going to continue when the tour ended and they both went back home. She highly doubted that either of them would make a fifteen hour drive to see each other enough to keep up any sort of connection, and Jane had completely made amends with that fact. But, to end things between them prematurely seemed as though it would be a waste of energy.
As everyone got ready for bed, Jane shot a text to Andy.
Jane; 11:34 PM: Everyone is going to bed over here. Wanna go out for a little?
Andy; 11:38 PM: Sure. Meet me outside in 5.
One they met, they embraced each other quickly and called a cab to bring them into the city. The conversation remained light until they arrived at a bar they had looked up online. It was a dim, open spaced, packed to the brim with patrons, none of which approached either of them for pictures or autographs.
“So,” Andy began as he twirled the ice in his cup with his straw, “haven’t seen much of you lately.”
Jane sighed and nodded; he wasn’t wasting any time. “Oh…yeah. Rob and I talked after that show and he told me he loved me, and that he still wants to be with me.” She hadn’t found the courage to look up from her beer. “I guess we’ve just been spending a lot of time together since then.”
“Ah,” Andy nodded. “Are you happy?”
Jane looked to him and smiled faintly. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.”
“Well, I’m glad,” Andy replied as he pushed his hair out of his face, which revealed an unsatisfied expression.
“What’s wrong, Andy?” asked Jane with a furrowed brow, turning her body to face him. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to have such a conversation right then, but apparently he was.
“What’s that mean for us, Jane?” He rested his face in his hand. “Soon, we won’t be touring together. We’ll be hundreds of miles apart. Don’t give up on me just yet.”
Jane looked down when he finished. He was feeling the same way she was (whatever that was). “I know, I know,” she sighed. “But now that he and Zoe are done, and I had gotten so jealous, I feel guilty for whatever is happening between us.”
Andy placed a hand on her knee and squeezed it softly. “Who knows if we’re even going to see each other again after this, Jane?”
Her finger’s disappeared deep in to her hair as she took a deep breath. “Do we have to talk about this now? I wanna see if I can break my record for not fucking things up. I’ve got two days so far.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine. But we need to talk about this eventually.”
“Yeah,” she smirked. “I know.”
*****
Soon, they were walking the streets of Vienna together arm in arm, laughing about a story Andy had told about a party he went to in high school. Both of them had a decent buzz on, accidentally bumping shoulders with those walking by or taking a misstep, only making their laughter increase.
A sliver of pavement separated two tall buildings to their left, and Andy quickly grabbed Jane’s hand to yank her into the the alleyway with him, and there, he brought both hands to the side of her head and kissed her with passionate.
“Andy,” she mumbled into his lips. “It’s too exposed here, we can’t – “
“I’m not trying to get laid, Jane,” he explained as he pulled away from her face a few inches. “I’m just enjoying the time we have left together, okay?”
“Okay,” Jane replied quietly, and they both leaned back into each other.
Only moments passed, though, before a bright light flashed towards them, causing them both to startle and turn towards its source: a man, possibly in his early thirties, with a large camera in his hand had just taken a picture of the two of them.
“Get the fuck out of here, man,” Andy nearly yelled as he approached the man, who ran off instantly back out onto the busy sidewalk and down the block. “I’m sorry, Jane,” Andy softened.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Jane whispered over and over again as she began to pace in the alley. “You know that’s going on the internet.”
“Hey, it’ll be fine. There had already been some rumors going around.”
“Yeah, but this is proof,” Jane groaned. “Plus, things are going so well with Rob. This is just gonna be a slap in the face.”
“Let’s get you back to the bus, huh?” he suggested as he threw an arm around her shoulder. “We’ll deal with this tomorrow.”
*****
Jane awoke to the undeniable sensation of nausea in her stomach, and she abruptly hopped down from her bunk and dashed for the bathroom, puking as soon as her knees touched the cold tile floor. She only had three, maybe four beers last night. Not enough to make her vomit…
She only had time to wipe her mouth before Sam had appeared in the doorway with his phone facing her.
“This is on three news sites so far,” he said in his usual neutral tone.
There it was. Her hands were on Andy’s chest, one of his hands were in her back pocket, and another in her hair. They were deep in a kiss in an alleyway late at night.
“Damn it,” Jane cursed, her voice still weak from vomiting. “What’s it say?”
“Jane, front woman of In Bloom, caught kissing Vicarious’ vocalist Andy Ramirez passionately in a Vienna alleyway. What does this mean for her and Rob’s relationship?” Sam shrugged as he finished, sticking the phone in his back pocket.
“Jesus, is Rob here?”
“No. He and Austin left for the interview about an hour ago. You know, you gotta deal with this soon. The next two weeks of shows are gonna be huge, and Harold will flip if shit doesn’t go well.”
“I will,” she whispered as she looked up to him. “Hey, Sam?” she called to him as he began to walk away.
“Yeah, J?”
“Promise not to tell the guys about me barfing?”
“Yeah.”
Jane eventually returned to her bunk to be greeted from by a text from Andy.
Andy, 9:42 AM: Shit. Worse than I thought.
Jane, 9:44 AM: Yeah. I’m probably gonna lay low for a while.
Andy, 9:45 AM: I understand.
*****
After some digging, Jane released her longboard from a pile of bags tucked away in the bus’s storage, and after brushing her teeth and putting on some warm clothes, she took off out of the lot the busses were parked in and out onto the street, slowly weaving her board from left to right on the barren road. Her earbuds were playing Candy Flips by Spires, and she was enjoying the song so much that she caught herself closing her eyes for just a second too long, nearly hitting a parked car.
“Shit!” she yelled as she curved her board, but made a split second decision to run off of it instead of trying to ride it out. The board shot out, maybe thirty feet, and just as it slowed, the undeniable crack of it breaking in half rang through the air, along with the cursing in a foreign language from the driver of an SUV.
Jane ran towards it to see what she had suspected. It was nearly clean down the middle, with jagged pieces of wood sticking out from both sides. She picked both up in her hands and walked back to the sidewalk to plop down on a bench, and that was when her lip began to quiver.
Wait, what?
”Am I really about to cry over my fucking longboard?”
In all fairness, she had owned it for ten years, replacing the trucks and grip tape frequently to keep it ridable. She knew she needed a new one, but this one had so many memories attached to it.
Jane and Rob had gotten into yet another argument while they were driving home from the studio together about the single, with her in the passenger seat. If she had to look back now, she wouldn’t be able to remember what words were exchanged, besides her last statement: “Fuck this. I’m skating home.”
At the next red light, Jane exited the vehicle and began to push her longboard down the dark road, expecting Rob to take off in the car ahead of her. Instead, without saying a word, he drove next to her for blocks. At first she was annoyed, her pride not even allowing her to look over to him, but after about a mile, she found that she was beginning to smile, and she got off her board and once again got in the passenger seat.
“Asshole,” was all she said with smirk before they endured the rest of the ride in silence.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks, but Jane couldn’t help but laugh at the memory as she sat with the broken board in her hands. She had to talk to Rob about the news articles he had probably already seen, but she felt it’d be best to calm down first before she saw him face to face. Maybe a text?
No, a text would be too ingenuine.
Jane put her phone up to her ear and waited as it trilled over and over again, eventually going to voicemail.
“Hey, it’s me. I got out for a little to clear my head. Um, a car ran over my board.” She laughed and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I don’t know what you’ve seen yet, but I didn’t want you to think I was running away from it. I, uh, I don’t know what to do, or to say besides that I’m sorry… I’m sorry and I love you. Not Andy. But, um, I’m gonna head back soon, so I guess I’ll see you then. Bye, Rob.”
She ended the all and rubbed her temples as millions of thoughts raced through her mind:
Why did she barf this morning? What if she was pregnant? Who would the father be? Can she even get an abortion out here? Will Rob want her to end things with Andy? How would Andy react? Is Rob upset with her over the picture?
Instead of getting up to walk back to the lot, Jane decided to give herself a little more time to center herself. She put on Fever Queen by Nothing and laid herself down on the bench, closing her eyes tightly and breathing deeply.
Jane didn’t look forward to what could await her back at the bus.
In
*POSITIVE* LGBT++ hangout, anybody? *CIS/STRAIGHT WELCOME TOO* :D
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10 yrs ago
Forum: Off-Topic Discussion
@Neurovoid I live near there too! FL BABES
Lmaoooo no problem! :-)
this is all I have to say to u ppl
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10 yrs ago
Forum: Off-Topic Discussion
Please don't be sorry! The only ones who say people's sexuality is no big deal are the one's who never had to question it :P
I won't lie to you and say people will definitely not think of you differently, but I learned that I don't want those kinds of friends anyway!
It's all easier said than done, of course, but keep doing some soul searching and figure out what would be best for you! <3
I won't lie to you and say people will definitely not think of you differently, but I learned that I don't want those kinds of friends anyway!
It's all easier said than done, of course, but keep doing some soul searching and figure out what would be best for you! <3
In
*POSITIVE* LGBT++ hangout, anybody? *CIS/STRAIGHT WELCOME TOO* :D
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10 yrs ago
Forum: Off-Topic Discussion
@arockysmith Hey! I went through the same thing. I first started noticing my attraction to girls at a very young age (11/12) but I didn't really accept it until my first few encounters with other girls. Even then, I played it up to partying/just having fun to my friends so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. Sooner or later, I accepted the fact that I was attracted to both men and women, but went through a lot of shit with ex-boyfriends not approving, friends thinking that I'd all of a sudden be attracted to them, etc. so I stopped talking about it.
Fast forward to now at age 23, I'm just now starting to come out to select people. I haven't talked to my parents about it or anyone in my family, but quite a few friends/acquaintances know. Yes, it's more accepted now than ever to be something other than straight, and that's awesome, but bisexual people still aren't discussed as much or have been as normalized as gays and lesbians. Most of the time when I tell people [men specifically] that I like both sexes I hear the following: "Wow, that's hot." "But have you been with a girl before?" (then when I say yes, they ask how many times.) "You're young. It's just a phase." All SUPER annoying.
It's discouraging sometimes, but you have to remember that what you feel is valid. Whether you like guys 75% and girls 25%, if you've never been with another woman before, or if you're still not 100% sure. And while bisexuality needs all the representation it can get, you don't have to come out with anyone you're not super comfortable telling. It's no one's business but yours at the end of the day.
I know it's a scary thing, so if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm totally here! :---) I have a lesbian sister too, so I was supposed to carry on the blood line as well lmao.
Fast forward to now at age 23, I'm just now starting to come out to select people. I haven't talked to my parents about it or anyone in my family, but quite a few friends/acquaintances know. Yes, it's more accepted now than ever to be something other than straight, and that's awesome, but bisexual people still aren't discussed as much or have been as normalized as gays and lesbians. Most of the time when I tell people [men specifically] that I like both sexes I hear the following: "Wow, that's hot." "But have you been with a girl before?" (then when I say yes, they ask how many times.) "You're young. It's just a phase." All SUPER annoying.
It's discouraging sometimes, but you have to remember that what you feel is valid. Whether you like guys 75% and girls 25%, if you've never been with another woman before, or if you're still not 100% sure. And while bisexuality needs all the representation it can get, you don't have to come out with anyone you're not super comfortable telling. It's no one's business but yours at the end of the day.
I know it's a scary thing, so if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm totally here! :---) I have a lesbian sister too, so I was supposed to carry on the blood line as well lmao.
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