Mistress Dizzy

Welcome To H.I.V.E

Here. Had 2 days of migraines. Sleep won't help anymore.

Academy of Heroes and Villains

Ask to not follow, instead of tell.

@Caits

Ah. Yeah, that would never occur to her, not even a little bit. She spent a long time asking for attention, help, all kinds of things. In her mind, asking is useless.

Academy of Heroes and Villains

Kijani made it to her room, and she didn't know how. Her whole body was shaking. Getting in, she stared at her room, which was spotless. All of her things were packed and labeled. She had cleaned. The only possessions remaining were her laptop, and her sword, sitting neatly in it's scabbard. Wiping the tears from her face, she went to her bed and slipped her hand under her mattress. Pulling out the communicator, she went to the bathroom and tossed it into the toilet, flushing it. Even if it managed to survive being submerged, it would be useless to track. Her phone rang in her pocket, and she sighed. Was Connor calling her that fast? She answered it without looking. "What?" "Ms. Ryane. I didn't think you'd pick up." Of all the days, of all the hours. Kijani rubbed the bridge of her nose. It would be faster to hear him out than try to ignore him. "What could you possibly want from me right now, Anthony?"

Young Justice 2022: League of Their Own

m head is currently in a vice grip. its been hours, it won't go away. i can't remember what i wantd to write long enough to write it.

Academy of Heroes and Villains

I'm confused. What was he thinking she was going to ask?

Academy of Heroes and Villains

*Soft sigh* I'm sorry, Caits.

Academy of Heroes and Villains

A lot of ways to say it, wasn't there? Somehow being told she loved him, while being told that she, essentially wanted to keep him safe was oddly comforting. Yet it wasn't what he wanted. Did she honestly think he was just going to say, sure, I'll just let you go? No. She didn't, and part of him wondered if she chose this way of telling him in the hopes that he would see how much it hurt her, to tell him this. He did see it. It pained him, and he couldn't make himself try to comfort him. He understood it would be worse if he did. "I do understand" he said softly, because he did. "You fear that you will ruin me, when all you have done so far is make me a better man. You fear that because I love you, I'll get hurt. Everyone risks that. But I know you think that that hurt could be death. I understand that. I can, and do protect myself. You think I don't know, that I don't understand. That I don't know that Ben is probably dead, due to Anthony but you think that it's your fault. when it isn't. You tell me you love me, and then that I can't follow you. When we both know that I will. Because, Damn it, I need you. You think I dont, that all I needed was a little confidence booster. Maybe that's so. I need you. You expect me to just agree, and walk away. But I'm not your parents, and im definetely not your grandmother, or whoever else has left you and made you feel like nothing. So you can leave. But I will follow." The words just tumbled out, unchecked, and he was shocked at tears stinging his own eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. He must have been a kid. And it was probably for something foolish. There was pain in his chest, and irrational fear, panic. Because he feared she might ask, instead of tell. And he didn't know if he could resist that. He took a step forward, just acting on instinct now, he gently removed her hands from her face. "Please" -- Kijani went still for just a moment, as Connor's warm hands pulled her hands away, and the pain on her face was palpable. She might not have been bleeding, but there was a gaping wound in her all the same. She knew if she met his eyes, that it would all be over, that she would lose her courage. So, she squeezed her eyes shut, yanked herself free, and shoved Connor, hard. Even though he was taller, she was more athletic, and the superior fighter. If she truly wanted to, she could make him unable to go after her. She could hurt him- but her body and soul would have to agree on that. Her body knew that she could dislocate his arm if she tugged just the right way. Knock him unconscious with a hard fist to the temple. Her soul, however, knew that what she was doing would hurt so much more than any bruise she could give him with her hands. Pushing him back again, she started to yell. There was anger in her voice, and she was using it at Connor, even though it wasn't truly his to bear. "Why are you making this so damn hard, Connor? I don't want to see you anymore! That's it! End of story! I don't need you following me, I don't need you to rescue me, I don't need you to love me!" Could he hear her breaking underneath the enraged words spilling out of her mouth? "Just stay away! It's over! It's... it's over." She glared at him, shaking, before she turned her back and started running. Speed had always been her forte, once she'd gotten over her growing-pain clumsiness. Her fear and her pain made her eat the distance like it was made of paper, like she could leave the heart she'd just broken behind her. -- Devika sat in the grass, almost calm. She was still going to need a lengthy meditation session after classes were over, but at least for now, she could function. As she stood up, a student ran by at quick speed. In her wake, Devika was nearly knocked over by a wave of powerful emotion. It was like getting hit with a wave of arctic water. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, and her legs simply decided that holding her up was too much trouble. Whatever that person was going through felt like a black hole, tugging at her mind, and she had to put up every wall she had just to keep from dropping into sleep.

Nightfall (Closed)

Name: Devika Jones Age: 22 Background: Devika is an adopted college student from the south. She's intelligent and quick witted, and good with people. Her parents were both in law, so she grew up learning to debate and speak well, and to stick to her convictions with courage and pride. While she may not be the most physically adept or combat ready, she is willing to learn. She knows someone has to carry the stories of the days after the world ended, and she is willing to take that challenge. Items: Large notebook, pens and pencils, metal bar (for melee), a couple of books that might be useful for fire material Skills: Well spoken, writes well, excellent memory, sharp eye for detail, is a very quick learner

Academy of Heroes and Villains

*exhales* Bomb dropped.

Academy of Heroes and Villains

Connor saw Kijani, and knew he had been right that something was wrong. He stopped a few steps in front of her. And didn't speak, just watched her. Uneasiness filled him, and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

@Caits

Kijani nodded to him, trying and failing to smile. He was reading her, and she couldn't mask her pain. "Connor, I- I know you've been watching and waiting so patiently for me to... to talk." She tried to keep her hands from shaking, and locked them behind her back. "I feel that I can't, because of... well, I know good and well how deeply you love me. You say you would do anything for me, and I believe you. That's why I don't tell you everything, because I wouldn't want you fighting for me, because you would not win that fight!" She was trying to keep the tears from her eyes, and her throat from closing. "...I love you, Connor. I truly, deeply do, and I realize that now." She inhaled. Exhaled. Spoke. "That's why I-- I can't be with you. Where I'm going, you can't follow. I refuse to let you, because I love you enough to realize that-" It was failing, there were tears starting to slide down her cheeks. "I will ruin your life, Connor. I won't repay your love with..." She shook her head, the words failing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know you don't understand, but one day, perhaps--" Her throat closed and she started to cry, covering her face.