NeoAJ

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@Genkai OK yeah, I think that's where I was losing it, I didn't know if Correctors had any kind of interaction with normal users or not, so that does clear up a lot for me. I think I'm just going to have Maya be a patron of the DgtWld who focused on studying in the real world as opposed to the linked stuff I had in there before. Actually earn the spot and all. I'll keep the last paragraph as is though for now, and I'll make the changes tomorrow once I get back from my friend's house/work/sleep, likely in that order.

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Thanks for the support all. I was just feeling really depressed the entire drive back and hopefully, I've slept it all out of my system now. And I'll have to see Kingsman another time. I was waiting for her for so long they stopped selling tickets for it. Anyway, moving onto the feedback: @Genkai Yeah, I figured a story like that probably was asking too much. Honestly, I was just trying to get something down before I went off to work that night, but I know it was not my best work. Correctors do stand out among the DgtWld population right? Like if called into action in front of a...well let's say a normie, they can be seen right? I can flip it where he has an encounter with a Corrector early on, possibly getting assaulted by a virus or something, and that offers some sort of inspiration to try and make it into the Corrector ranks. Then he gets chosen on merit as opposed to for redemption. If you don't like the Corrector hazing angle either, I figure with the previous angle it would be a Corrector who has since retired anyway, so I can make the change a tribute instead.

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Well I got stood up, so I'll have a look at the feedback now.

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@vietmyke Fair enough. I have made the necessary update to the cannon and I await further feedback (but I won't get to it until tomorrow, going on my first date in like four years to see Kingsmen).

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@vietmyke Sounds reasonable. I was worried about making the cannons too OP in the beginning, so I definitely agree to the limit. The 11 bit was a joke, but I can definitely throw 7-10 up there. Saves something for the later stages for sure. Little bit more disappointed about the duel wielding ruling but I can see why. I didn't intend for the AoE to be that big, considering they are directed cannons, it was going to be more a cone effect akin to...well the best I can think of coming off the night shift at this hour is the QB vision system that Madden put in place for a few years. I'm open to dropping one of the cannons but I do so in the hopes that Atomik has the option to eliminate recoil by firing with both hands on the gun. Obviously if firing on the run, she may not have the presence of mind to do so and as such recoil would come into effect again, but having both her mitts on the weapon should allow for a more accurate shot.

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I guess I finally have my sheet up now Genkai (Top of Page 3) if you want to have a look through that.

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@AliceinRedHeels I'm glad I have to go ahead on the format steal :) It is very pretty. That's a good point on slacking. I just went with that first because I figured that was the only way I could think of to describe Maya. I'll update that right away. As for the guns, they are meant to be directed attacks at a certain target. I got the idea from a couple of reports I heard about the U.S. military experimenting with sound cannons to attack combatants in Afghanistan (as well as the episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine where Diaz shoots Boyle with a larger scale model.) The dial settings I've incorporated into the guns can be used to spread that out into an area-of-effect cone shaped blast as well. Since there are capabilities on the guns that would affect teammates, it stands to reason that harmful waves would affect them as well, but given the relative familiarity with the Tokyo unit I would hope Atomik's reputation means her teammates are aware of where she is firing and when. There is some recoil with the guns, and definitely during her first year, Atomik would not have been able to handle them, but for steady firing she is fine. It's on bigger pulses (anything from 7-11) that the recoil is noticeable, but if she's firing a larger single pulse on that level it shouldn't come back to bite the team in audible manners. Just she'd be kinda out of commission for a few seconds. Also I've updated my CS with the new settings on the gun as well as the biography. Don't hesitate with the feedback there either.

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@Hella Cute I know right? I'm surprised no one else went for it right off. Once I started writing though I knew I was going to have the sonic guns XD. The Beat Cannons can definitely have physical capabilities. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going too OP with the weapon's functions. But I have to figure it wouldn't be too hard for a sonic blast to have percussive powers on actual targets. I'll add that into the description.

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I'm going to shamelessly copy Alice's formatting, because I think it looks nice and is something my character would totally do. This is what I have so far, I'm hoping to use my limited battery time to finish the biography while I wait for my brother at the hospital.

RS

Roleplayer Sheet:

Age: 26 Frequency Online: At least once a day, for indeterminate amounts of time. Depends on how much I don't want to get out of bed. Responsibilities Offline: I work night shift four nights a week and I'm working on applying to law school until the end of the month, so very busy immediately but after that, hopefully I'll be rested enough to do some serious writing. Favorite tv show or books: TV Shows: Archer, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Game of Thrones Books: Catch-22, Work! Consume! Die! (by Frankie Boyle), Gulliver's Travels Why do you like to write/RP: I've enjoyed writing for a long period of time and I love being able to contribute to a story that feels like it's something far bigger than anything I could come up with on my own. Plus it's a way to escape from a world that I have not really lived up to expectations in.

Character Sheet:

Name: Hajsafi, Maya Alias in the DgtWld: Atomik Age: 24

Important Stuff

Average Appearance: Corrector Appearance: Theme Music: Because of course she has a theme. Weapon of Choice: Handheld Beat Cannon Fashioned as something resembling a pistol with a base speaker on top of it, this heavy pistol is designed to fire a concentrated and consistent pulse of sound at a target up to 100 feet away. The pulse overloads the audio sensory connection of someone's MChip, turning whatever they might here into a cacophony of painful noise that renders people unable to function properly (one victim could swear they heard the word "Friday" over and over again). These pulses can permeate most headphones but they are a bit clunky, which leaves Atomik unable to do much in close combat. They also can't rapid fire large pulses, so if someone is able to move and gets around an initial mega blast, that leaves Atomik vulnerable as well. There are different settings on the guns allowing for Atomik to customize how much and what kind of damage the guns do. Odd numbers are used for solo targets while even numbers are used for multiple targets. 1-4 solely focus on audio warfare with 1-2 being used for letting the sweet soothing sounds massage and heal a teammate or herself and 3-4 are not so kind inflicting damage upon miscreant's ears and brains. 5-6 fire a steady pulse that will flow against a target much like a stream or river. 7 deals a large concussive blast to try and take a target out of commission and end a fight, although it's at this point where Atomik starts to lose total control of the cannon. The dial on the cannon is able to be cranked up to 11, but so far Atomik hasn't had the need to go beyond 7. She's a little worried about what might happen in the higher numbers. Cell Phone:

Personality:

• +Intelligent: Given the amount of time Maya has spent in the DgtWld prior to being a connector, he is very well versed in how it works and any exploits that might be available.
• -Unmotivated: As such, Maya is adverse to doing any kind of work, so he prefers to do as little as possible. If anyone is going to do a job, Maya is more than happy to let them do it for him.
• +Defender: Given the way he has been treated in his life, watching or hearing someone being ostracized for no good reasons is a sore spot for Maya and will inspire him to act. If anyone is being ignored or bullied, Maya will step in immediately on their behalf to fight for them.
• -Naive: Given his lack of social interactions in the real world, sarcasm is something of a foreign concept to Maya. So is deceit. If something sounds plausible, Maya will believe it, and combining that with his need to defended the "downtrodden" can get him in a lot of trouble.
• +Upbeat: In contrast to his real life mannerisms, Maya actually feels so at home in DgtWld that he sheds the introverted shell that he has cultivated offline and becomes completely relaxed and optimistic, more in tune with his current avatar.
• +Loyal: Once he gets to know someone, Maya will back them wholeheartedly into whatever situation they may face, as long as it doesn't interfere with his previous tenets of not picking on the "weak gazelle" so to speak, or if he can find someone to do the actual work aspect of whatever needs to be done to follow.

Background: Maya is the only son of an Iranian immigrant father and a Japanese mother. He was born and raised in Niigata, while both his parents worked for a telecommunications company. His father was an electrician who moved post-Revolution and worked his way up the ladder of the union while maintaining a strict paternal structure in the home that when combined with his mother's cold passive attitude meant a very tough and rigid childhood for Maya. School wasn't much better. Lacking the immigrant populations of Tokyo and Nagoya, Maya's half-Iranian heritage made him stand out among his peers and he was a ripe target for bullying. This constant belittlement in all aspects of life made Maya very timid and quick to withdraw in the growing online world at a young age. He refused to take out his frustrations on other people though, even when putting bullets into brains when playing popular online games. Instead he let himself get lost in whatever he was doing online at the time, music and visuals carrying him away from Mehdi's fiery anger over his slightly imperfect grades, and Ayame's indignant stare at his few successes. Even in school, when Ono Kenji slammed him against the fence every day for a month straight after accidentally scuffing his shoe, that anger and hatred washed away while Maya was lost in the online world. When the DgtWld system was first gaining steam in Japan and the U.S., Maya was quick to hop onto the phenomenon. He saved for a few months to get one of the first MChips implanted and took to the virtual reality like a monkey to a hot spring. At first it was just a few secluded trips to his own private island to get away from it all and listen to music, but he started spending more and more time in the DgtWld. He was so enthralled by the potential this technology had, of being able to leave the physical plane behind and transport yourself anywhere you wanted your music to take you that he dedicated his studies towards making sure he could be able to contribute to such a beautiful achievement of modern science. This newfound dedication seemed to please his parents as well, so they let Maya continue on this course. Of course they didn't know Maya would do so well that he would be drafted to the Correctors squad. Not even Maya believed it at first, but once he got confirmation, he was thrilled to be able to have a more in depth role in protecting the world...as long as it didn't interfere with his time in virtual Antigua. Given the lack of a base in his hometown, Maya was assigned to the Tokyo unit, able to leave Niigata for the first time. However upon arrival, he was subjected to the same kind of harassment he thought he had escaped a while ago, and the first avatar he was presented with prior to gaining the access to creating his own was that of a teenage girl. It was a big laugh among the senior connectors but on his first few trips into the DgtWld in this avatar, Maya wasn't getting stared at. He wasn't getting called a terrorist. He felt...normal. And it felt good. It felt liberating. So liberating that he kept the avatar even after getting clearance to change, only tweaking certain aspects to better fit the weaponry that he decided to outfit Atomik with when she first came into being. Besides, if no one was supposed to know about his role, it made sense to Maya for his avatar to be as far opposite from his true identity as possible. Despite the personal growth that has come with his time as a Corrector, Maya is still seen as a social outcast in the real world. He is known to his neighbors in the small Aoyama District flat for being a shut-off student training for his certification as a network administrator and technician, when in reality, he's just waiting for the next opportunity to get back into the DgtWld and make what he sees to be a bigger impact.

Corrected & Connected [a future sci-fi cyberpunk slice of life]

I will express some interest here as well. As if there wasn't enough expressed already.