Sabine had left C.A.G.E and began walking to her car, unsure if Leah was behind her or not. She didn’t say goodbye to the receptionist who wished her a ‘pleasant day’ (the bitch!). Inside her head was a swirl of emotions. Anger ruled the day though.
Once Sabine got closer she paused and kicked the front of her car, setting off the alarm.
”Goddammit!” she screamed, alerting nearby people to her presence. She didn’t care. She hated herself, she nearly hated April and she hated herself more for even thinking she hated April. Sabine tried to take a deep breath and found it got caught in her throat.
She didn’t get broken up with, even for a good reason.
Leah halfheartedly kicked the front tire of the car, expecting the thing to shut up, and it didn’t. This day was going to get worse, she could already feel it.
”How the fuck do you shut this damn thing down?” She asked, a little withdrawn.
Sabine took out her key and shut the alarm off. She stood still for a minute.
”This sucks. Everything sucks.” Sabine then sat down on the curb and curled her knees up to her chest. She wanted to scream again, but figured if she did someone in C.A.G.E would come and grab her and throw her in a room.
”Fuck everything.”Leah sat down next to her, swept her hair to one side and put an arm around Sabine.
”Yeah. It’s like we did something wrong and she just won’t tell us, isn’t it?””Did we? I mean we should know what’s going on with her, right? I know I felt a mental block when we were in the dorms when Danni set it on fire, but I chalked it up to what was happening then. She’s been like this for a while now and I couldn’t see it. Too wrapped up in my own shit.””Me either… Unless you come out and tell me something’s wrong, I’m not likely to notice.” Leah pulled her in close.
”I don’t understand how people do that.””I support her mental health journey, but it sucks. Like I was part of the reason she was suffering so much. When your partner goes through something like that you stick with them and support them, not leave them to handle it alone. And one of the worst parts of it is I find myself blaming Dorian and Danni to an extent, because she told them first. And I hate thinking that.””You heard what we were talking about. You were right there for it,” Leah noted.
”Some people feel weird about dating crazy people, don’t they? And April’s anxious as shit about a lot of things. I don’t know, maybe that scared her.””You don’t abandon people you care about though. I get it, I really do. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” Sabine waited a moment before she stood up suddenly.
”I need to hit something that isn’t another person or my personal property. Any suggestions?””There’s a gym full of things meant to be punched. But we’re not abandoning anything, ‘Bine. She’s still our friend like she said, right?”Right?Sabine didn’t answer.
”Let’s go to the gym. I’ll drive.” Sabine then got in her car and turned it on, waiting for Leah before she peeled from the parking spot.
She knew deep down this wasn’t abandonment. She knew that.
She did,
right?”Some of the bags back at the school have adamantium in them, so don’t punch the ones that I punch,” Leah suggested.
”You’ll break your whole hands doing that.”Gonna punch adamantium and watch it crumble,” Sabine mumbled to herself. She drove quickly, wanting to let off this intense energy exuding off of her.
”You seem relatively calmer compared to me. I don’t know if I like this dynamic.”There’s a long pause as Leah wonders whether she’s going to make this worse.
”This is gonna sound stupid, but I don’t understand stuff like this,” She admitted.
”It’s not great. I mean- Fuck, Sabine, she’s in a… That’s a fucking psych ward full of people who don’t know her. Who she’s supposed to trust. That’s fucked up, and she can’t even leave- She’s basically in prison. And yeah, she just broke up with us, but- I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about this, okay? I’m- It feels like I did something and she doesn’t want to admit that I’m the problem, you know that? Maybe she’s just lying and that shitty place is a perfect excuse to cover herself because she’s afraid I’d get mad. I’ve got this fucking- There’s a voice in my head all the time telling me shit like that. I don’t know why, there just is.”Sabine hated to sound like the therapist so she stayed quiet for a bit.
”Psych wards are not a bad place Leah. Well, psych wards in most countries aren’t, but here maybe not so much. But she seems happy and the place appears like it is taking care of them. And you heard her, she made a friend here.”
“Maybe we are the problem. I can’t speak for you but…I don’t know with what happened with Arcade and the Contest, I’ve been reflecting on things more. I think I took her for granted and made it worse. I think I jumped in with her too quickly.”Leah wondered if that was the case with her, too.
”...She meant a lot to me ever since I showed up. I never had friends before I met April. She’s great. She’s great to be around and talk to and-” She really was fumbling words a lot right now.
”I guess I’ve always loved her, not just for a few months. Is that a normal thing?””The heart wants what the heart wants or whatever the saying is.” Did Sabine feel the same though? She liked April. She even said she loved her, but didn’t you know the person you love and how they felt?
”Normal is subjective and overrated. We are literally people with superpowers. What’s normal?””I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking. I mean, shit, I’m dating you somehow, and I didn’t think that would happen. I’m the last person on Earth you should be asking what normal is. Especially when it’s something like this.””What the hell does that mean? Why wouldn’t that happen?” Sabine’s grip on the wheel tensed, why was she now getting angry at Leah? If anything, Leah was all she had at the moment. She took a deep breath and loosened her grip.
”Sorry, lots of feelings happening.””Yeah…” Leah was trying her hardest not to feel anything right now. If she did, she wasn’t going to
stop. ”I’m just saying. It’s- Did you think it would happen? We were always at each other’s throats, and look at us now. You know what I mean, right? Am I making any sense here?””No one expects anything Leah. People become friends with the most random people, people fall in love and lose love, it’s all bullshit and we are just along for the ride. No I didn’t see it coming, but it doesn’t mean it’s any less wonderful to me.””Me either. I’m happy with you. And April. Well- You know. It sucks.” Fucking Rocks-For-Brains, of course it sucks. She knows that. ”It would suck without you, too… Sorry.””We are in uncharted territory. I honestly don’t know if I am going to be able to keep being friends with her. Obviously I want her to get better and I want to be supportive and help her. But it’s going to suck pretending like everything is fine when it isn’t.” Sabine felt her throat hitch again and felt the need to hold her wrist again, but she held firm.
”Damn, we do need therapy.”Leah wanted to say she was doing perfectly fine without it. She didn’t.
”Who said we had to pretend everything is fine? We’re not at C.A.G.E. right now. Just punch something and beat the fucking brakes off of someone who says you shouldn’t. Seriously, fuck anybody else right now.””You’re right, fuck everyone else.” Sabine pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park. Then she grabbed Leah’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss. She held it long and lingering. Once separated she leaned back in the seat.
”Now I want to punch something. Hard.”That kiss was great. Rain in the fucking drought, the drought being the breakup.
”You could punch me and I wouldn’t even feel it, if you tried not to hurt yourself.” She leaned in for a second kiss. It felt a little hollow kissing Sabine right after April broke up with them, but
fuck everyone.Sabine returned it, savoring it for the moment. Fuck everyone else.
”I’m feeling destructive. Let’s go break things until we feel better. Whenever that is.” Sabine put the car back in drive and peeled away.
”That is not how you throw a punch. Look, watch me.”Leah held her fist up, keeping it in line with her arm. She pointed it at the punching bag hanging from the ceiling and turned her upper body as it made contact. The whole damn thing swung up and nearly smacked Sabine on her blonde little ass.
”You don’t just hit it with your hand. You hit it with your arm, and your shoulder. And you keep your fist straight or you’ll dislocate it. Try again.””Do you not punch with your arm and shoulder? Isn’t that all attached to the hand?” Sabine hadn’t done this before. She took tae kwon do before, but that was mainly kicking. She tried again, aiming her fist at the punching bag and doing her best to mimic Leah.
Either way it felt good to hit something.
”Sure, but not everyone uses the rest of that to actually throw a punch. You can punch someone to punch them, or you can punch someone to actually do something. That’s better. See, I could throw a whole horse over my shoulders, and watch the difference.”Leah swung her fist at the bag without moving her upper body, trying no less to pummel it. It wasn’t struck with nearly as much force.
”For one thing, not doing it properly can injure you. You’ll break fingers, split your knuckles open or even snap your wrist. And if your fist doesn’t hurt somebody, you’re gonna lose if you’re depending on them.”Sabine listened, but fuck it if she took anything in.
”I just want to punch something dammit.” Sabine punched again, trying to listen and use her hand and not her elbow or whatever. She hit the bad, feeling the force come back at her.
”A lot easier to picture someone’s face on it, I’ll tell you that much.””Yeah. If that was someone’s face, you would’ve put them on their ass,” Leah commented.
”...Even if you can’t punch worth a damn.” She was smiling. Sabine’s sassy, snarky energy was getting contagious.
Sabine stuck her tongue out.
”I can literally make someone revert back to a baby if I want or melt their brain from the inside, I don’t need to throw a punch, I just want to break something and this is better than actually committing a crime.” Though Sabine would not have minded some “be gay, do crime” shit.
”I don’t need to throw a punch either. You could ask anytime, and I’d help you figure out how to get good at it, though. I wouldn’t mind. I could teach you this…”Leah jumped into the air, spun around in a circle and kicked the bag so hard the chain nearly snapped. She landed like a cat.
”It’s easier than it looks.”Okay, that was hot.
Sabine marveled a bit.
”All right, show off. Teach me how to throw a hit and I can teach you something in return. But golly gee, what could I teach you?” Sabine asked, suggestively.
”Dunno… I still have the sword Nimue gave me,” Leah suggested, completely missing the suggestiveness of Sabine’s suggestion.
”Okay. Pick one, a punch or a kick.”Sabine was not surprised over the obvious hint going over Leah’s head.
”A kick then. You know I got legs for days.””Yeah.” That, she knew.
”Okay… Let’s just do an easy one.” Leah stepped back and spun around on the heel of her left foot. Her right heel whirled around and hooked the punching back to demonstrate.
”You need to keep all your balance on one leg, and when you start spinning, the momentum will keep you upright,” She explained.
”Keep your arms close to your body, but not too close. You want to be able to catch yourself, and it makes it easier to keep yourself steady when you land. Swing your leg out, twist your foot sideways and swing down when you’re about to hit something.”Sabine took the stance Leah showed her. She was better at kicking, but didn’t want to say it. She followed Leah’s directions as best she could. She spun on her left foot, holding her arms as close as was comfortable, before maneuvering her right foot when she was close to hitting the bag. She stumbled a bit, but she hit.
”Oh, I’m so dizzy.” She played it off, moving closer to Leah as she pretend stumbled.
”I need someone to hold me steady.”Leah put a hand out, grabbing Sabine by the waist.
”Easy, right? Next time, pick a spot and keep your head turned in that direction. Like whoever it is you’re trying to kick. Help you avoid getting dizzy and it makes it easier to not miss.”She was oblivious.
”Jesus Christ Leah I am flirting with you! I wanted to hit something, I hit something, and now I want to hit something else.” Sometimes you had to lay it all out there.
Leah stared at her.
And stared some more, blinking slowly.
”Why didn’t you just say so?””Trying to be sexy here! It’s not really hot if I just said ‘hey, let’s have sex’ and that be it. I often forget how thick-headed you are. Good thing you’re hot.”Well, now Leah just felt stupid.
”You don’t have to try with me, you know that? I mean, it’s easy when you’re the one trying.” She tugged on Sabine’s waist, bringing her a little closer.
”Just saying.”Sabine smiled, closing the distance. She no longer cared about punching or kicking, forgetting the day’s earlier moments. She was here and now. And sometimes, that’s all that mattered.
Leah bent down and kissed her. Knowing Sabine, they weren’t going to wait long.
”So… We are going back to the dorms first, right?” That was Leah trying to be funny again, implying Sabine would just lock the gym doors. But surely she wouldn’t. Right?
Sabine put up her pointer finger in a ‘just wait’ moment. She walked over to the doors to the gym and turned the lock. She came back.
”Dorms are easy mode. Let’s get wild.”
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